Dwight Eisenhower



Dwight Eisenhower was the 34th President of the United States of America. He is commonly credited with saving the world from nucular annihilation, because he was able to focus sunlight with his bald head and dazzle Soviet pilots and bombardiers as they flew on relentless bombing runs against America, making them accidentally drop bombs on Kazakhstan instead. Too bad that none of those bombs fell on those assholes in Uzbekistan.

Eisenhower, a fearless wartime president, was an ardent Republican and a veteran of World War II. He deserves admiration and praise from all Americans everywhere.