User:Hoontare

Hunter Kendrick


Hunter Kendrick was born in 1992 at the right hand of Stephen Colbert. He plays Guitar, Banjo, and Sitar. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Hunter Kendrick to go around.

Early Childhood
In 1992 Stephen Colbert dreamed that a white elephant with six tusks impaled his right side. The next day he asked Chuck Norris To drop kick him in his right side, a usually fatal move (unless you're Stephen Colbert). When Chuck Norris kicked him, Hunter Kendrick was born out of his right side. When Hunter was fourteen years old he went duck hunting for the first time, Hunter Kendrick shows NO mercy for ducks.

Instruments
Hunter Kendrick has mastered playing Guitar, Banjo, and Sitar, It is rumored that Hunter has the first sitar ever created, considering it was originally shaped after Stephen Colberts genitalia (see Sitar). During The Beatles rooftop concert (which may or may not have occured on the moon), it is rumored that Hunter Kendrick was acually in a Paul McCartney suit, considering that Paul died some time before that, and was replaced by a walrus. Hunter has a white guitar that looks like Jimi Hendrix's guitar, which make Hunter that much groovier.

Music
Hunter Kendrick listens to dirty hippie music, which is NOT groovy to the baby Jesus. His music includes Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, Phish, The Beatles, The Doors, and so on. Hunter Kendrick digs the dirty hippie lifestyle, also NOT groovy to the baby Jesus, shame on you Hunter.

The Downfall
Hunter Kendrick now shows mercy for ducks, but that's okay, because Stephen Colbert doesn't like the taste of stupid ducks anyway. It is unfortunate that he digs the tree hugging dirt worshipping lifestyle, but he is still Stephen Colberts right hand. Hunter Kendrick used to have short clean cut hair, now he has long curly shaggy hair, shame on you Hunter.