Pakistan Institute of Terrorism

AIM
To impart the finest quality of jihad and terrorist education into the individual and thus attempt to create a community of mujahideen who not only excel in the art of terrorism but are also culturally and physically adept in the fine arts of killing, rape, molestation etc and thus develop our institution into a source of universal jihad, offering jihad and terrorist education to men, women and transvestites at undergraduate and postgraduate degree levels, bringing out their total personality, emphasizing ethical values and preparing them to meet the growing challenges of the infidel world and diverse jihad needs of tomorrow.

INTRODUCTION
The Pakistani University of terrorism is a unit of the Pakistan Jihad council's educational and academic development sector. It was formed in 1989 when a group of over 134 Pakistani Madrassas joined together to form a single institution aimed at offering the highest quality of jihad education to worthy students from Pakistan. Today, it is officially the world's highest ranked jihad institute constituting of a faculty from such recognized groups such as the Lashker-E-Taiba, Al-Qaida, Harkat-Ul-Mujahideen, Hizbul Mujahideen, Jaish-E-Mohammed with a mission to create the purest of pure mujahideen from Pakistani as well as foreign applicants.

LOCATION AND CAMPUS
The Pakistani University of terrorism is located 150 km from the metropolitan city of Lahore and is spread over 600 acres of lush beauty thanks to the efficiency of Pakistani environmental engineering. It is recognized as one of the most picturesque and beautiful places in Pakistan.



The Campus boasts of


 * Over 100 acres of jungle with endangered species for live target practice.
 * Over 23 infidel structures such as temples, WTC building look-alikes, army camps and casinos for mujahideen demolition practice
 * Cursing arena with a seating capacity of 10000
 * 12 Jihad Research and Development departments.
 * Killing fields where unbelievers and infidels are occasionally left to roam.
 * Kill house, complete with real infidels including Americans, Indians and Jews.
 * Recreation and Bath area
 * Cultural area
 * 23 Jihad and Terrorism research labaratories
 * Sports area
 * Canteen
 * Airfield complete with PIA loaned airliners for hijack practise

FACULTY AND STAFF
Our faculty consists of an array of world class, well known, jail experienced and illegitimately born Mujahideen all star leaders including Prof.Maulana Masood Azhar, Dr.Faizul Rehman Khalil, Dr.Mustaq Zargar, Prof.Mulla Mohammed Omar, Dr.Syed Saalauddin and many others. Our esteemed institution is often subject to the grace of visiting faculty, the most popular among students being none other than the world's most wanted man - Osama Bin Laden. Foreign faculty including the famous Prof Brian Cloughley and Dr.John Fricker are also permitted after suitable surgery.

Our Dean is none other than his excellency, the ruler of all Pakistan, General(Dr.)Pervez Mushrraf. Dr. Mushrraf has many fine accomplishments to boast about including masterminding the Kargil holy war against Hindustan which led the the martyrdom of over 6000 holy warriors of the Pakistan army and the 10 year insurgency of holy warriors into Hindustan who even as we speak, is continuing to cleanse the region of infidels. He has also been nominated for the Nobel peace prize for his outstanding achievements in the field of terrorism.

MESSAGE FROM THE DEAN


"My dear students, it is very well known that to survive in a world controlled by infidels, we must possess the finest skills of jihad and be the best possible mujahideen. It is for this reason, that we have set up this fine institution where you can turn all your skills in terrorism from thought to action. Our aim is to make the best possible mujahideen and propagandists out of worthy applicants to send into action against infidel forces in order to achieve the ultimate aim of a kafir free world where Pakistan is the only superpower."

BE-Bachelor* of Engineering

 * BE - Jihad and terrorism Engineering
 * BE - Propaganda Engineering
 * BE - Jihad and computer science Engineering
 * BE - Religion Engineering
 * BE - Disease and STD Engineering
 * BE - Jihad and Aeronautical engineering
 * BE - Narcotics Engineering

B.TECH Bachelor* of technology

 * B.TECH - Cyber terrorism technology
 * B.TECH - Jihad technology
 * B.TECH - Anti kafir technology

B.Sc Bachelor* of Science

 * B.Sc - Jihad physics
 * B.Sc - Jihad chemistry
 * B.Sc - Mujahideen mathematics
 * B.Arch - Infidel structure destruction

MBBS Bachelor* of Medicine and surgery
(Recently, the 2001 batch of our B.Arch and aeronautical students succesfully demolished 3 infidel structures in the unholy land of America and were awarded their degrees in advance for their martyrdom.


 * * Not necessarily. Students may have 1-4 wives.

Masters

 * ME - Advanced Jihad
 * ME - Advanced Propaganda
 * ME - Level-5 Atrocities and Infidel torture
 * M.TECH - Advanced jihad and propaganda technology

FACILITIES
The facilities of the Pakistan university of terrorism are virtually endless. Our 25000 sq. feet Canteen serves the widest variety of cuisine from Peshawar cockroach fry to afghan style baked geckos. We have a cursing arena with a capacity to accommodate 10000 mujahideen where students can shout such holy phrases like "Al Jihad, Al Jihad, Al Jihad" for hours and hours and hours.

The university also boasts of a cultural area where students can interact and display their talents and skills in terrorism. Every year, a world-wide extravaganza for mujahideen is conducted here and participants include those from Afghanistan, Chechnya, Indonesia, Iraq, Syria and so on. This section also has installed mock ups of famous infidels such as George Bush, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, Ariel Sharon, Vladimir Putin, Bal Thackeray etc for students to stone, shoot, stab, kick, bash and curse for hours and hours. Flags and figures to set on fire and curse at are available on request. Students can cleanse themselves by taking a dip in our pond of purity in the Bath area and also answer the call of nature, "Mujahideen" style and the the recreation area has over a 100 Heroine, Marijuana, Hashish and Cocaine vending machines. Mock hijacks can be practiced in our airfield which has over 10 large civil aircraft. Future applications, technology and methods of jihad are researched and developed in our well equipped laboratories. In our kill house, students are taught how to use weapons such as stones, pumpkins, tomatoes, AK-47s and Rocket launchers against infidel forces. ISI aided RDX training is also taught here. There is also a Student's superstore where everything from Ak-47s and Suicide vests to specially made condoms can be purchased for student use.

Our state of the art playground has all sorts of toys and installations for student enjoyment such as car piles, tires, merry go rounds and swings. For sports, we have 25000mm running track, a football field and 10 courts to play "Grab the carcass with the Horse", the national game of Pakistan.

CURRICULUM
Here at the Pakistan University of terrorism, you get nothing but first class terrorist education. Throughout 4 semesters spread through 4 years at an undergraduate level, you will learn how to effectively kill infidels regardless of their age and sex, burn flags and effigies without setting yourself on fire, fool infidel armies into giving you instant martyrdom, curse and shout angry slogans for hours and hours without loosing your breath, torture captured infidels without cutting yourself, spread malicious propaganda and conduct hijacks without getting sucked into the engine or flushed down the toilet. You will also learn how to conduct mass protests and chop off body parts of blasphemous people in style, blow yourself up along with many infidels, throw acid at women's faces and do atrocities that are so unimaginable, we can't describe them in text.

ELIGIBILITY OF APPLICANTS

 * Applicants must not be less than 3 years of age
 * Applicants must have not more than 4 wives
 * Applicants with Beards over 30cm in length will be given preference
 * Applicants should be ready to accept martyrdom at any point of time
 * Applicants with recommendation certificates from Dawood Ibrahim will be given preference
 * Applicants should not have scored negative marks or percentage in any recognized examination.
 * Kafirs may apply as laboratory specimens and for target practice.
 * Applicants who display modern principles and rational thinking will be expelled immediately.

PROSPECTS AND PERKS

 * Free air tickets to such exotic locations such as Chechnya, Kashmir, New York, Kenya, Tanzania and Washington DC
 * Campus interviews regularly conducted by Lashker-E-Toiba, Hizbul, Harkat Ul Mujahideen and Al-Qaida.
 * 100% Job assurance and satisfaction.
 * Guaranteed Martyrdom or your money back
 * 90% discount on weapons, narcotics and whore purchases made anywhere in Pakistan.
 * Free future seats for up to 55 of applicant's offspring.
 * 70% discount on all RDX, Grenade and car bomb purchases.
 * Free subscription to the "Jihad Times", national newspaper of Pakistan.
 * Guaranteed young boys and 72 virgins regardless of failure or success.

 "All information on this page is for parody use only. Courtasy of the now defunct pakistanmillitary.org"