Snake Marriage

According to Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., "Snake Marriage," or the marriage of a human person and a snake, is not the end result of the slippery slope of gay marriage. In factiness, Dr. Colbert sees "people marrying snakes as a step up the slope from gay marriage." This is only true, however, if people are not marrying gay snakes: "we must marry limbless reptiles of the opposite sex. Otherwise, it's just not natural."

Dr. Colbert's thoughts on Snake Marriage came in response to a Fox News correspondent's insightful commentary about an unconfirmed report of a woman in India who married a snake. The Good Doctor agreed with the Fox correspondent that "if a woman in India marries a snake, gay people in America should have to justify it."

As a public service for his viewers, Dr. Colbert (an unlicensed herpetologist and self-declared "snake man") went on to explain how to tell the difference between male and female snakes, just in case.