Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton is a cyborg created on the planet Venus in 1776 in direct response to the inception of the United States of America and with the intent of destroying us all. Sent to Earth on October 26, 1947 the cyborg has since taken on the form of a female human in order to infiltrate the American population undetected and wipe freedom and liberty from existence. She currently holds the office of Junior Senator from the state of New York, and sources say her plans are to start her official reign of terror on America beginning in 2008.

Delayed Introduction to America
Hillary was designed and built in the late 18th century, but was not sent to Earth until much later because the intent was for her to be introduced into a time of opposition to the greatest President of all time. She was loaded into the shuttle to be launched in 1863 to oppose Abraham Lincoln, but the Venusians suspected that there would be a much greater President to arise 137 years later, so the launch was postponed to coincide with the arrival of The Greatest American, George W. Bush, born one year eariler on July 6, 1946.

Points of Interest

 * While biding her time waiting to unleash hell on American soil, Hillary stayed quite busy overseas by starting the Korean Conflict and Vietnam War. She also helped Saddam Husein take over Iraq.  Back in the states, she gave Brian Piccolo cancer in 1969 and killed Elvis Presley on his crapper in 1977.  She was not indicted in either case.


 * In 1992, Hillary became the First Lady when her husband Bill Clinton was elected President against the will of the American people (the night before the election, Hillary threatened to run naked from house to house from one end of the United States to the other if Bill lost the election; George H Bush's 80 point lead vanished and Clinton was swept into office).


 * During the 8 years of the Clinton presidency, more people linked to the White House or President/First Lady were murdered or mysteriously died than all the people who died in the American Civil War. Hillary was responsible for all of them but 4.  Most cases were never solved; Hillary had most of the investigators and prosecuting attorneys slathered with honey and fed to Canadian black bears.

Hillary Trivia

 * She observes a strict diet of puppies and infants.
 * She hates grandmothers and anyone who doesn't.
 * Her shrill voice has been known to cause penis shrinkage and testicular dissintegration.
 * She has 3 pet bears: Patches, Rodney, and Geraldo.
 * Her vagina is used to store her vast cache of intergallactic weapons. Husband Bill has yet to discover this since he has seen every vagina in America except hers in the last 25 years.