Joe Lieberman

"One of my favorite Republicans." - Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, August 1, 2006



Joe Lieberman incites a special kind of inertia called Joementum, once he gains forward motion, no object can stop him. He is step-brother to Patrick Stewart.

The week of August 5th, 2006, Stephen Colbert frequently invited Lieberman to be a guest on his show, to give 'equal time' since his primary opponent, Ned Lamont appeared on the show a few days prior. Stephen even sweetend the deal by adding a nice burgandy leather chair; with a bowl of Coco Puffs and some music that Lieberman enjoys. Lieberman has not replied on his intent, and many are wondering if that makes him a coward. On August 19th Stephen placed the chair in the audiance saying that Lieberman will always have a seat in his audience.

Joe Lieberman enjoys chocolate. He goes 'coo-coo' for Cocoa Puffs. He is also a big fan of Andre Bocelli, Mystic River, Sean Hannity, Samuel Alito, and Willy Wonka. He also loves George W. Bush, having smooched him. Some theorize that, like Bill Clinton's seemingly-innocent hug of Monica Lewinsky at a campaign event, that this suggests much further bodily contact between the two.

Joe Lieberman hates terrorism, Iraqis, government accountability, the majority of Democrats (who voted against him in his primary), and anyone who questions his hero George W. Bush.

Having lost his bid for the Democratic nomination to Ned Lamont, Lieberman decided to continue his campaign, running as an independent, for which he is often known as "Sore Loserman". He formed his own political party, the Connecticut for Lieberman party, to do so.

There is some concern that his goal is to siphon away votes from Lamont, thereby guaranteeing that the Republican candidate will win in November; however it is widely known that not even President George W. Bush supports the official Republican candidate, instead preferring his lover, Lieberman.

Lieberman is apparently recharging his Joementum, preparing for the run against Lamont in the general election.

Sources inside Joe's campaign says if he is defeated in November midterm elections he will form his own senate. Joe will name himself Majority Leader of the Independent Democratic Senate, which will composed of Michael Dukakis, Walter Mondale, Jerry Brown and a zombified Adlai Stevenson.

External Sources

 * Wikipedia's hate article on Lieberman
 * Connecticut Election