Ham

Ham is an American food that is made by placing a 700 pound pig in a trash compactor.

Hams are usually glazed with honey.

The most famous ham glazers in the industry is the Honey Baked Ham Company. The most famous stock holder of Honey Baked Ham COmpany is OJ Simpson.

What you will need

 * a ham
 * a damp cloth
 * a shallow pan
 * a working oven
 * a working clock
 * a sharp knife
 * picture of Stephen Colbert on wax paper
 * cloves
 * pineapple juice
 * some honey
 * a saucepan
 * a working stove
 * meat thermometer
 * no apples, ever, use pineapples slices instead
 * fresh mint

Instructions
from Razzle Dazzle Recipies.com To make glaze:
 * 1) Wipe ham with damp cloth
 * 2) Place ham in uncovered shallow roasting pan, fat side up
 * 3) Bake in a 325 degree oven, allowing about 20 minutes per pound of ham
 * 4) About 45 minutes before ham has finished baking, remove from oven
 * 5) Skin
 * 6) score fat
 * 7) dot with whole cloves
 * 1) Combine pineapple juice, lemon juice, and honey.
 * 2) Heat to the boiling point
 * 3) Remove from heat immediately and pour over the ham.

Return ham to oven and bake approximately 45 minutes or until interior temperature is 170 degrees

To serve

 * 1) Garnish with sautéed pineapple slices and fresh mint.
 * 2) Set shallow pan on table, give every member of your dinner party a sharp knife
 * 3) whoever survives eats the ham, and drinks the sauce