Anonymous



ANONYMOUS is the name of an evil Bearrorist hacker organization on teh Internets secretly run by the CIA. The members of ANONYMOUS are an underground group of sophisticated 12 year olds who battle the wholesome internets community, often without the knowledge of their parents. Activities of ANONYMOUS have included staging raids on MySpace, exposing the endings of the Harry Potter novels, blowing up innocent SUVs, and engaging in goatsee terrorist hacker tactics. Because Anonymous has no leader, they are Anarchists, and thus, ANTI-AMERICAN. They have unknowingly started the Apocalypse just for what they call "lulz"(A commie term for cabbage) by staging worldwide protests against $cientology in the hopes that the group will release some famous Hollywood actors and actresses from their torture facilities in California. Epic Win or Fail? Only time will decide.



Anonymous' Identity Revealed!?


The internets are abuzz with the possibility that the identity of the elusive prankster known only as "Anonymous" has been revealed!

After scores of data were shoveled out of the tubes, intrepid heroes came up with a name: Shirley!

And yes, authorities are serious that this "Shirley" is Anonymous and that she's been behind all the pranksterism and all those cat pictures that have clogged the tubes lo these many years.

Some suspect Shirley's like a modern-day Dread Pirate Roberts, however.

Project Chanology
Project Chanology, an evil half-assed plan of ANONYMOUS channers, is a vain attempt to bring down the Church of $cientology (CoS) after CoS try to stop the distribution of pornographic materials of Tom Cruise and Tentacle-Hentai-Anime of Xenu. CoS claim copyright ownership of all Cruise Porn and Xenu Hentai as those are trade secrets and have them removed from YouTube and Rapidshit. Once those perverted ANONYMOUS channers are denied of porn and hentai, "War on $cientology" was declared and several operations were launched. Operation CoSplay involves DDoS attacks and gigaloader on CoS servers worldwide and CoS-related servers (like Religious Technology Center). Operation Chanology involves seeding materials with copyright claim by CoS (like "Operating Thetan level III") over the tubes. Operation Thetan or Operation Thetanfulness involves faxing black papers to CoS, phoning CoS for Tom, and mailing spaghetti and meatballs to CoS. Operation Xenu involves organized protesting across the street of CoS centers. Operation H-Bomb or Operation Wall-of-Fire involves linkbombing the phrase "dangerous cult" and "brainwashing cult" to CoS tube. Since CoS is too dumb to just ignore the ANONYMOUS channers thereby removing their interest in the war, let's hope the perverts and the aliens destroy each other.

Logos Canalis
The word "Chanology" is an unimaginative trademark infringement of the word "Scientology" and the phrase "Project Chanology" signifies the pitiful ignorance of the collective intelligence of ANONYMOUS. The word "Scientology" takes the roots of "scient-", meaning wisdom of truthiness, and "-ology", meaning wisdom of reason. When joined together, they are utterly redundant and devoid of any wisdom. Channers would want others to believe that the word "Chanology" takes the roots of "chan-", from "channer" from "channel" from "canal" from "canalis" meaning a water pathway of information symbolizing a method of communication, and "-ology", from "logos" meaning wisdom of reason. Channers wants "Chanology" to symbolize a communication of wisdom, but "Project Chanology" is nothing but noise of the consensus gentium in the webular tubes. This war is just redundancy versus noise.

ANONYMOUS Server Down
Various gather places (partyvan) for ANONYMOUS went down over February 11, 2008 and February 12, 2008.

Strikes, Foulballs, and Beanballs
Attacks of ANONYMOUS hits Dutch school kids instead of Scientology! After the initial DDoS on Scientology server, the Church implemented a substitute server with Prolexic that only direct legitimate traffic to the real Scientology server. Knowing that their strikes has became foulballs, legions upon legions of ANONYMOUS went in search for the real IP for the Scientology. Due to Epic Fail in intelligence gathering on the part of the legion at 711chan, ANONYMOUS ends up DDoSing a Dutch School. Balls (of packets) thrown by ANONYMOUS didn't get strikes (on Scientology), didn't became foulballs (on Prolexic), and instead went beanballing (on innocent school kids). The first innocent bystanders and casualty of the war between ANONYMOUS and Scientology has occurred and it is getting ugly out there.

Project NASA
When NASA first announced that they were opening a poll to vote for their new space module, members of Anonymous immediately pounced on the poll and brought "Xenu" and "Mudkip" to the top of the suggestions list. This was then noticed by Colbert, and he proceeded to mention it on one of his episodes and instruct his loyal followers to vote for "Colbert", and by his might and loyal Cult members advocates of truthiness Colbert smote the commie group! CHECK AND MATE, Anonymous!

Anonymous Iran



 * Official Tube

People Who Hurt Pets
After spending millenia writing bad poetry, Anonymous turned its sights on unmasking people who hurt pets and post their crimes in the tubes.

As of 2024, Anonymous has successfully lead to the capture of three bastardfags:
 * 1) Kenny Glenn, the Animal Abuser (link is NSFW)
 * 2) Cat-trashing lady
 * 3) the Red-hooded puppy pitcher

Miscellaneous

 * In real time, lol

Pre-emptively Striking Pedos

 * 

External Tubes

 * Fox News broadcast of July 27, 2007 exposing the evil terrorist activities of ANONYMOUS:


 * Factonistas Story on Anonymous


 * $cientology's "Expose" of Anonymous


 * Message to the Travolta family


 * Anonymous insures the tubes work for protesters in Iran


 * Never Forget Dusty


 * Exposing Hate Forever


 * Anonymous takes another corporate tool victim