Wizard

A Wizard is a powerful person who uses magic to do the Devil's work. Although the liberal media may try to convince you that wizards are creatures of "fiction," or that they "only use their powers for the benefit of mankind," you should not listen to these lies. Wizards are evil, through and through.

There are several different types of wizards, each deriving from a different cultish origin. Dr. Stephen Colbert, D.F.A. has spent many years devoted to the study of Wizardology, and has uncovered some startling truths relating to the different practices of various "schools" of Wizardry. Preliminary results of his investigations indicate that three primary types of wizards and wizard aspirants currently dwell among the rest of us God-fearing Americans.

Because wizards can be very wily, often disguising themselves as regular people in order to pass amongst us unknown, the following descriptions are provided as a public service for the Wikiality.com community. If you think that someone you know may be a wizard, please do not take any chances. Report them to your local Law Enforcement Agency, or directly to Homeland Security immediately. If you are unable to access an officer of the law, protect yourself against the wizard by encircling the evil-doer in a ring of fire until help arrives.

Schools of Wizardry
As revealed through the painstaking research of Dr. Stephen Colbert