The MTV

The MTV is a cable television music video channel that doesn't play music videos.

Launched in the 1980's with the purpose of warping the minds and morals of America's youth through constant repetition of sexually-charged Madonna and Duran Duran music videos, it later changed tactics and now warps the minds and morals of America's youth through constant repetition of sexually-charged shows like Road Rules, The Real World: Yet Another City and the shockingly titled Pimp My Ride!

The MTV's mission is to transform our Nation's angelic children into pimps and hos, where all that matters is the Benjamins and knocking boots.

If forced to watch The MTV, heroes are advised to sing Psalms and think about The Baby Jesus.

Evil Factoids

 * The first music video played on The MTV was Stephen and The Colberts' Charlene (I'm Right Behind You Now)
 * The MTV seduced many youthful Americans by using musical geniuses like Sting in their early ad campaign "I want my The MTV!"
 * Early The MTV VJ Martha Quinn is a hell-sent succubus.