Iphone

iPhone
The most significant communication device that has ever or will ever be created. This device can be used as a phone, web browser, email, GPS, Organizer, Phaser, Universal Remote Control, Hair Dryer, teleportation device, and fish scaler. All-in-one. Special attachments and software enable the iPhone to heal lepers, track down stolen cars, and banish Lords of Darkness (See: Bill Gates)

AT&T (creators of the DeathStar) and APPLE Computers developed the iPhones for a target audience of uber geeks and financially irresponsible lottery winners.

Next year, Congress will introduce legislation requiring iPhones. The next generation iPhones will come with a biometric function and be keyed to the user's DNA. When the crystal on the iPhone turns black either from the user exceeding the age limit of 30 or low battery, the user must report to the nearest iPhone center ( called Carousel) for replacement.

Coming soon from AT&T and Apple: iCar, iSpouse, iGOD, iJob, iBeer, and iFood.