Chemtrails

Chemtrails are high-altitude emissions from "Air Force planes," that create long-lasting, cloud-seeding material that dissipates into fake clouds. Their main purpose is weather modification, although the planes can be equipped to drop anything necessary-vaccines, bio"defense" materiel, pretty colors, etc. Often mistaken for contrails, these vapors are full of American might, and can be seen spewing from tanks under unmarked aircraft across the country in pretty Freedom Spirals, and 9/11 Checkerboards. Look up most days to witness the sheer artistry of Chemtrails in action. Or, check out radar images-the checkerboards are gorgeous from space.

While the Government vehemently denies any danger from aluminum- and barium-rich Polymers of Freedom, we trust that our Best Interests are at heart, and that they're just practicing their laydowns before their deployment over Iraq. Or maybe they're saving us from global warming by placing trillions of tiny sunscreens in the atmosphere, to reflect all that evil sunlight.

In the true spirit of American Sacrifice, we will put up with colds, flu, bizarre skin diseases, polymer particulates that raise lung cancer risks, and the complete salting out of our topsoil in order to see Democracy prevail throughout the world.