Atheists



Atheists adhere to a religion which mandates that they hate God and Jesus and babies and America and the Bible.

All, if not most atheists will profess disbelief in God or claim they have a lack of belief in God. This is a lie since they must believe in God to hate him so much. Atheists have been known to try to point out the intractability of gaining or having knowledge of God since God is a supernatural being and man can only have knowledge of that which exists within nature, not that which exists outside or transcends nature, i.e. a supernatural being. The atheist can use his forked tongue to put forth this argument and many others to try to sway non-atheists towards the religion of atheism. Since the atheist's arguments will most likely be based on logic and reason, they are easily dismissed because they come from the head and not from the gut. It should also be mentioned that faith will counteract any argument or point put forth by the atheist. This is because faith allows belief without proof or even belief when proof to the contrary is presented.

Atheists are easily recognizable by smell and by sight. An atheist will have a noticeable odor which accompanies his presence and can even precede his arrival. This odor includes, but is not limited to sulphur, rotting meat, patchouli and iniquity. An atheist will have the recognizable feature of lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya' he doesn't seem to be livin'...until he bites ya' and those black eyes roll over white and then..ahh and then you hear that terrible high pitched screamin' and despite all your hollerin' and poundin', they all come in and they rip you to pieces. It is suspected that atheists have links to the Pro-Bear Lobby.

Also, if you should correspond with an atheist, remember that the word "atheist" has many different spellings. For instance, common alternate spellings are "athesit," "aetheist," "athiest" and many others. Pretty much however you want to spell it because these people are going to Hell so you don't really need to put forth a lot of effort.

Sub Categories
Atheist is a word only used in terms of Christianity. New terms need to be coined for crackpots who don't believe in other religions. These would include those who do not believe in Astrology, A Still Live Elvis, A Functioning Government in Thailand.