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July 13, 2007
Our troops battled and killed Iraqi police today because: Blackwater USA trained the Iraqis so well they can't be trusted. Al Qaeda infiltrated the Iraqi police department. They're working with their buddies from Iran. They all look like Pat Tillman.

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July 11, 2007
President Bush executive ordered Harriet Miers to refuse interrogation by "subpoena" from the Senate liberal gestapo because: Her photo is on Stephen Colbert's bookshelf. She may have had an affair with David Vitter. She had provided him and Alberto Gonzales with legal counsel on firing 8 liberal federal prosecutors. She's a quitter and he can't trust her.

July 10, 2007
President Bush focused on his support for the Iraq war instead of fellow anti-gay Republican David Vitter because: Vitter failed to shut Mary Landrieu up during Hurricane Katrina. Vitter went to Harvard. Vitter may be a neo-nazi. He has to bend over and listen to Cheney now that Deborah Palfrey is exposed.

July 9, 2007
The Greatest President laughed at the Democrats request to subpoena his aides, but out of the kindness of his good, christian heart made an offer. The Democrats will eventually accept President Bush's offer to privately interview his aides because: He's the decider. The dems have no balls. If they don't, they'll get fired too. They plan on secretly using their iPhones to record it.

July 8, 2007
In 1946, Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini became America's first saint. The restored sight of a blinded child was but one of the miracles attributed to Mother Cabrini. What is the greatest miracle ever attributed to Stephen Colbert? AmeriCone Dream Ice Cream keeping America safe from bears Tek Jansen The Colbert Bump The Colbert Report truthiness wikiality

July 7, 2007
The Seven Wonders of the Modern World were selected recently, and not one of them was American. Which of America's Greatest Wonders should have been included: The Statue of Liberty Mount Rushmore the Golden Gate Bridge Landover Baptist Church The Corn Palace Ronald Reagan Peace Through Strength Missile Silo Historic Site The Honorable Professor Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.

July 6, 2007
July 6, 2007 is The Greatest President Ever's 61st birthday. When he blows out the candles on his cake, what do you think he's wishing for? An executive position at the World Bank for Scooter the broadest possible reading of "executive privilege" Operation Iran Independence A stain on the dress of Obama's intern a third term

July 5, 2007, Late Evening Edition
Pilots and passengers aboard at least 3 different airplanes spotted what many described as a UFO flying around the English Channel. What kinds of supernatural phenomenon have you experienced? I have seen and/or been probed on a UFO I have seen and/or been probed by ghosts I've experienced more other dimensions; I've been to a Willie Nelson concert I believe in fairies; I've seen Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth

July 4, 2007
Holiday, no poll question.

Colbert July 4th Beach Party
Should Stephen host a July 4th beach party in his red, white, and blue thong? Only if Killer is wearing his marine camouflage thong Only if MC Rove is mixing the beach music Only if Jon Stewart has to wear a full-body flag Only if Dick Cheney is in charge of fireworks

July 2, 2007, Evening Edition
The Greatest President Ever has commuted the sentence of the former aide to The Greatest Vice President Ever, Scooter Libby. What message does this send? Bush believes Scooter broke the law, but shouldn't have to serve any time for it paying a fine is still a punishment no message, only that more terrorists are being detained and interrogated and we have a lot of hard work ahead if we want to win the war on terror liberals are always wrong about everything no message, nothing out of the ordinary happened today

July 2, 2007
Question suggested by User:Pro-Lick

A comparison between the Wikipedia pages for Jay Hein and Gordon Johndroe bear eerie similarities to their official whitehouse.gov biographies. Wikipedia copies and pastes Bush Administration bios directly from the White House website because...? The bios are public domain and free for everybody to copy & paste George W. Bush personally writes them Karl Rove helps President Bush write them The White House is the most fair & balanced NPOV source of information EVER!

July 1, 2007
Now that some people have Apple's new iPhone, other people are wondering when DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) will come out with products they've been hiding from the public. Which DARPA invention are you most looking forward to? jet pack invisibility suit xray glasses move things with your mind machine

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