Sex

Don't have it. It is very painful and Jesus would be watching the whole time. When we need more children, God will knock up another virgin.

GOP Approved Flavors of Sex

 * Man on dog
 * Man on Child
 * Man on
 * Man on shotgun/9mm hand gun
 * Man on God
 * Priest on Child
 * Congressman on IM

Good Places to Have Sex

 * School

Do Not Also See

 * Homosexual
 * Pages

External Sources

 * Wikipedia's protected sex
 * Wikipedia's abstinence education