U.S. Army Staff Sergeant John Shannon



On March 5, 2007 Staff Sergeant Shannon testified before Congress about how democrats ruined the U.S. military, specifically, Walter Reed hospital.

Sgt. Shannon described the number of squirrels, rats and mold he saw a liberal personally sneak into the hospital.

An unnamed spokesperson who works in an office really close to the one Shannon works in, insisted he heard from someone that someone else who matched the description of Shannon (technically it was someone in some kind of uniform) tell another someone on the phone, the following quasi-quote: "'The people responsible need to be held accountable, and not that little faggot, but the bulldyke; she's the one behind the entire mess.'"

According to inside sources, Walter Reed was forced to seek additional budget funds to replace all the property that SSG Shannon destroyed. After getting angry with petulant staff and administrators, SSG Shannon was reported to have kicked in doors and destroyed offices. Funds are still awaiting approval and the command has resorted to using bean bag chairs for their secret-squirrel meetings about military care.

Fun Facts

 * has a bad temper, like Howard Dean
 * has a filthy, filthy mouth, like Nancy Pelosi
 * is forgetful, like Scooter Libby