Alaska

Discovery
Lewis and Clark discovered this land in 1807 after discovering the mysterious Pacific Ocean. Due to how amazingly cold it was, they left to tell the presidant.

History
Amazingly, Alaska was around just before Americans found it. Many of the native tribes thier, like the Eskimo's, Aliaskans and other names only godless men can pronounce, are bear lovers. One tribe though stood up against this tyrany, the Tlingits (Clean-gits), meaning in Polarbearanese, the Bear Killers. Seemingly endless war waged for many ages, between the Tlingits and the bear lovers. In 1896 some gold rush happened and a bunch of good Americans got rich and decided to stay in the extremely cold land. They established Jew NO, the anti-Jew republican apitol of the world. The good republicans allowed the Tlingit to become a republican and convert their ancient heretic religion into Catholisism. The now combined force started to press many good attacks against the Bears and Bear lovers.

Achieving Statehood
In 1955 America felt that the bear threat was minimal so it was declared to those brave fighters that they can become Americans.

Alaska Today
In 1989 Osama Bin-Laden sent 90 percent of the worlds bear population to Alaska to help out the bear lord Attila the Hungryforchilderen. The battle raged on and it still goes on today, but there is hope for the Tlingit and gold rushies. Stephan Colbert in 2004 sent an army of Eagles to comprimise the impending bear threat. Today the Eagles and the Tlingit fight the Bears so the good American of the real 48 states won't have to.

Alaska Landmarks

 * Jew No is the great capital where the base of operations against Jews and Bears is. It has a forty foot statue of Stephen Colbert fighting a bear as if to say, Bears we are coming for you.


 * The Ted Stevens Bridge to Nowhere (which is actually a small village in Alaska)

Famous non-Eskimo Alaskans

 * Ted Stevens

A Typical Day in Alaska
Fighting bears and making love to beautiful women.