Bear Death Ray of Fatality

The Bear Death Ray of Fatality (or BDRF) is one of the Weapons of Mass Destruction that NASA has been working to create since the Bear Invasion of 1993. On March 23, 2012, NASA released a statement saying that "...due to recent Federal budget cuts, work on [BDRF] has been temporarily been stalled...Hopefully, we will have a functional one by the end of the 2016 fiscal year...".

The BDRF was first proposed by Stephen Colbertin1994. It was met with much angst from the left-wing, liberal, Obama-supporting Democrats. REAL Americans began to support the weapons construction. By November of 1997, NASA had begun formulating formal plans for such a device.

It is intended to be attached to a satellite that, once put into orbit, will automatically seek out Bears and destroy them. It is an enchanted weapon that absorbs 500 points of health on impact, does about 10,000 damage, and cost 100 points of stamina and 300 points of magicka per use. Once it is finished, it will be worth approximately 500,000,000,000,000 septims. Take that, Dovahkiin!

Will the Bear Death Ray of Fatality Kill Me
Only if you are a bear. Or George Clooney.