Oregon

Oregon' is a land of many names. The state has been referred to as "California's Canada"; others may call it Washington's Mexico. Most importantly, Stephen Colbert has always called it Idaho's Portugal. It has also been referred to as Nevada's Alaska, Maine's beer pong cup, and The Pacific Ocean's nipple. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/lucasjoker/5b54a6b0.jpg click the link to view two typical oregon natives in their natural habitat... if i wasn't so stoned right now i'd figure out how to post an image... ah i guess i'll go commit physician-assisted suicide! viva portugal!

Oregon Geography' is the result of powerful opposing tectonic forces, known as the Oregon Vortex. Mighty Liberal Media Bias from the south is carried along the SiXaYou range and terminates in that foulest of cankerous springs, Ashland. Witness the Shakespeare Festival and the poisonous Lithia Springs which testify to the demonic Liberal powers at play. From the east, an influx of angry Idahoans contantly stirs things up. See, they all took night classes to learn portugese, but when they got to Oregon they find we mostly speak spanish here, and they got pissed. Idahoans can be recognized by their potato-shaped shaven heads, red suspenders, and rolled-up acid washed jeans. To the north we have the bizarre state of washington, which i refer to as oregons venus. like venus, it is the same shape and size as our world, but greenhouse gasses have caused it to become a hellstorm of silicone and evergreens. washington also is the land of abomination, as it has a ... gasp shudder shreik... sales tax!!! and you have to pump your own gas there... the horror!  So You SeeOregon is a cataclysm of heinous forces, yet it's better than any of your other damn states. ha!

Oregon History the ooligong territory, named after a particularly greasy kind of fish, was the hip and happenin' hangout for prehistoric hunter-gatherers. these kindly critters, also known as the oompa-loompas or ewoks for short, lived in blissful harmony with the giant tortoises and elk spirits of the pre-anime age. then everything changed when a house fell out of the sky and landed on the wicked witch. a conch shell, a painted stick, a spoon and a sock emerged from the destroyed dust bowl-era home and went on a magical journey down the yellow brick trail, which became known as the ooligong trail, and later was shortened to the oregon trail. so you see the lollypop leage was powerless to resist the blowing of the conch; the children all went mad and killed piggy with a boulder; homer davenport brought arabian horses from akmet hafez and thus the mighty empire of oregon was never established. and now you know!

oregon's anthem (excerpt, because everyone here forgot the rest in a purple haze)

onward and upward forever,

forward and on and on,

hail to thee

land of empire-builders

my oregon!!!

land of empire builders?

more like land of empire smokers!

o snap!