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 * colspan="3" align="center"| New FCC Chair Wants To Work Efficiently!!!!!
 * colspan="2"|
 * rowspan="2" colspan="1"| [[Image:KevinMartinFCC.jpg|thumb|left|230px|Who's a big, strong FCC chairman!? [[Write_A_Caption#FCC_Chairman.2C_Kevin_Martin_in_Seattle_For_Hearing|post your own caption]]...]]
 * colspan="2" align="left"|(excerpt) A hastily set up meeting was held to assuage the hippie contingent of the Pacific Northwest. When Mr. Martin stood to address the smelly crowd, he was shouted down as the freakshows insulted his clean-cut appearance.
 * colspan="2" align="left"|(excerpt) A hastily set up meeting was held to assuage the hippie contingent of the Pacific Northwest. When Mr. Martin stood to address the smelly crowd, he was shouted down as the freakshows insulted his clean-cut appearance.
 * colspan="2" align="left"|(excerpt) A hastily set up meeting was held to assuage the hippie contingent of the Pacific Northwest. When Mr. Martin stood to address the smelly crowd, he was shouted down as the freakshows insulted his clean-cut appearance.

Holding back tears, Mr. Martin finished his brief remarks and opened the floor to questions. Naturally the crowd was more interested in their own narrow agendas.

Despite advertisements specifically stating the purpose of the meeting as FCC and media consolidation related, representatives of the following groups were in the auditorium:
 * 9/11 truthers who only shouted when other people started talking
 * PETA whose members were naked and threw their supply of blood on the first group to interrupt, which was...
 * ... Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church, who called everyone fags, including...
 * ...the "Don't Tase Me Bro" guy who was immediately tased.                         ...story continues...