Cornholian

Cornholian
A Cornholian is a follower or student of the truth enterprise which has come to be called cornholism. The first Cornholian was Robert Cornhole and the first self-professed Cornholian was Joseph Smith. There are many contemporary cornholians, among them Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Pat Robertson and, the blessed and worshipful, Stephen Colbert.

All Cornholians believe, nay, all Cornholians know that Robert Cornhole was one of America's founding fathers and most Cornholians accept the so-called Cornhole-thesis, which posits that Robert Cornhole was the primary foundiing father.

Cornhole Identity
There is at present a crisis as concerns the question: "What does it mean to be a Cornholian?" Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh have spear-headed the battle for Cornholedom but Glenn Beck has offered a penetrating analysis of the Cornhole question and perhaps cleared the path for the direction of cornholism. Some say that Glenn Beck has been annointed the prophet of cornholism due to his initiation into the Mormon church and his access to Joseph Smith's private writings, some of which concern Smith's attraction to Cornhole. Most of the New Cornholians, having been initiated into the cornholism circle by Stephen Colbert hold Colbert to be the prophet. There is reason to believe that Glenn Beck's call to Colbert for prophecy is reason to believe that Beck has transferred the so-called cornhole crown to Colbert.

Rush Limbaugh, Cornholian or no?
Rush Limbaugh was a longtime advocate of Cornholism until the so-called cornhole controversy which concerned Rush's interpretation, or some would argue misinterpretation, of the word cornhole. Rush questioned the Cornhole-thesis and Hannity responded with criticism and urged Rush to read his book entitled "Cornholed: The Gay Liberal Academic Agenda for America". Later however Hannity offered to lick Rush's crack but whether this makes Limbaugh a Cornholian is unclear.