Science

Science is the old version of everything that we thought was true. Some of it was proven, but most of it was a figment of Stephen Hawking's brain. In the 1990's, people began to realize that brain thinking was getting results that supported the terrorists, thus thinking by feeling and the new science of the gut emerged.

The findings of science can change over time; the findings of your gut never have to. At one point in time, science dictated the Earth was flat and that the Sun revolved around it. Science decided to change its mind because like a woman, it has its own prerogatives. Science may seem appealing at first glance, what with its ability to provide us with internets tubes, but it also tries to make us dumb by telling us that donuts are spheres (See: Poincare conjecture).

Now, thanks to the love of the baby Jesus and true patriots everywhere, Intelligent Design has come to be agreed upon by 11 out of 10 scientists as being the best science with a whole new dimension of truthiness to accommodate thinking with your gut.

Scientific Facts

 * The earth was created 6,000 years ago
 * Water freezes at 50 degrees Fahrenheit not 32, the Bible says so.
 * Thomas Edison invented science when he created the light bulb
 * The number of elephants in the world tripled in the summer of 2006
 * That feeling you get when you know you've done something wrong is the Holy Spirit.
 * Stephen Colbert's opinions are scientific facts.
 * Stephen Hawking is a paid member of the liberal agenda
 * Rainbows are God's promise to never flood the Earth again
 * Newton stole is ideas from America's God as do all people of science today.
 * All scientists are atheists liberals who want to clone sheep to have sex with them.
 * Science is a evil idea that was unleashed to the world by Karl Marx after Edison light shown.
 * Chuck Norris created the universe and existed before God did.
 * Carl Sagen is a astrologer not a astronomer.

Scientific Frauds/Misrepresentations

 * Evolution
 * Big Bang
 * Carbon Dating
 * Plausability of the Scientific Method
 * Objective Reasoning
 * Myth of Gravity
 * Atoms
 * Global Warming
 * heliocentricity, that is the earth revolves around the sun
 * the earth is not flat
 * Dinosaurs
 * evolution
 * Mars
 * the moon landing

Disputes Science Cannot Explain

 * Did global warming climate change or "evolution" kill the caveman?