Tool

A tool, by definition, is anyone who serves the liberal-fascist-communist-marxist-gay-liberal agenda.

Notable Tools
Ryan Seacrest, John Kerry, Barack Hussein Obama, Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton, Clay Aiken, Darth Vader, Karl Marx, Josef Stalin, Nancy Pelosi, and Adolf Hitler

I could go on. But let's focus on the truthiness.

Notable Toolhunters
His Most High Awesomeness, Stephen Colbert, Jesus, and Bill O'Reilly