Anti-Claus

Overview
The General of the War on Christmas in the Anti-Claus.

The Anti-Claus resides at the South Pole and his eyes are not bright, his cheeks are not rosy, and his belly does not jiggle like a bowl full of jelly.

Instead his cheeks are ashen, his eyes burn like the fires of hell and his belly rattles with the bones of his victims.

The power of the Anti-Claus resides in his hijab, a magical muslim headwrap that has been passed down through many generations of terrorists. With an elite corps of elven bomb-makers known as the Elf'Qaeda, the Anti-Claus manufactures thousands of IEDs. On Christmas night, the Anti-Claus mounts his bear-driven sleigh and attempts to drop the bombs down the chimneys of Jesus-loving children, but each year is repelled by George W. Bush and his F-16.

The current Anti-Claus is Osama bin Laden.