The War Against The Gayification of American Children

The War Against The Gayification of American Children is an ongoing incursion by the gays on our children. Their goal is to get America's youngest generation "batting for the other team" from an early age.

Background
It all started in 1986, during the halcyon days of The Second Greatest President Ever. During the confusion of the Iran-Contra Affair, Pee Wee Herman emerged as Satan's handmaiden and instigated the war by exposing America's kids to his manic, effeminate mannerisms.

Herman was later given a dishonorable discharge after dishonorably discharging himself to a video featuring a woman. He was replaced by Barney, with that purple Teletubby filling in when the giant fruity dinosaur had to go back to San Francisco to visit his husband.