Flight Attendant

Flight Attendants: (Not to be confused with Slutty Flight Attendants) Are trained professionals skilled in making sure you don't get your requested extra pillow while the plane continues on its four hour holding pattern over a fogged in airport. They bring nothing but misery and make The Baby Jesus cry.

What Flight Attendants Do

 * Wake you from your cozy slumber by smacking you in the shoulder with their fat asses every time they waddle down the aisle.
 * Spread HIV
 * "Help" your children in the lavatory.
 * Sick the Air Marshalls on you when are Mile High Clubing.
 * Look at you like you are a Terrorist if you ask for, "...the whole can of soda."
 * Smell like wrestlers.

Sad Flight Attendant Facts

 * A queer French Canadian queer Flight Attendant named queer Gaëtan Dugas was the AIDS Patient Zero. He flew for Air Queer Canada and was a devout queer Sodomite. He She spread the virus by having queer sex with thousands of queers men in queer gay bath houses throughtout the world.


 * Ironically, in direct contridiction to Canada's queer liberal agenda, makes the number one Canadian export dead queers Homosexuals.

Avoiding Flight Attendants

 * Go Greyound
 * Hitchhike
 * Stay home, watch TV, eat donuts, drink beer.