Shakespeare

Shakespeare invented the english language. before him everyone spoke in a sort of pidgeon text lingo. He also discovered those little spirally shoelaces that are used by public school kids. He was born in the darkest part of the Dark Ages (supposedly on his birthday) and was soon writing plays and poems etc. Most people don't understand a word of Shakespeare, this has always been the case. After inventing the english language he realised that to convince people that he was smarter than them he would have to invent a tougher variation. hence Olde English was born. He died in the later years of his life. The song Remember the days of the old school yard by Cat stevens was dedicated to his memory. It was very sad.