Bacon: your breakfast whore?

BACON: your breakfast whore?
Aparently, Stephen Colbert's favorite breakfast meat has been getting a bit too frisky. Yes, I am talkin about strips of salted and smoked meat from the back and sides of a pig otherwise known as bacon. Bacon used to be like a pruned lady. You use to have to kill a pig and slice its back into pieces to get some. Figuratively speaking of course The butchers decided to sell bacon like hookers on the street inside of thier deli's, or as i like to call skankli's.  Then bacon started hangin 'round grocie stores, which I call the food whore store. After that, bacon started selling itself with lettuce and tomato between two soft buns in fastfood market. Personally, I have no beef with this becuase BLT's are me and Stephen Colbert's favorite sandwhich. But then bacon started teasing us with bacon bits, just giving us a taste on our salads. Then, bacons pimp, corperate buisenesses, outragously started selling MICROWAVABLE BACON!!!! Now, bacon is now not only giving it away to anyone, but is giving out cheap quickies. IF YOU LOVE BACON, YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH HER AND TELL HER THAT YOU DO NOT APRECCIATE WHAT SHE IS DOING AND IT DOES NOTHING BUT HURT HER!!!