Hari Kiri



Hari-kari (pronounced: Harry Caray) is a Japanese business practice featuring traditional dress, hairstyle and a miniature samurai sword (also known as a ginsu knife).

All Japanese people are bound by international law to commit hari-kiri anytime they come in second place in any sporting event or when they get any grade that isn't an "A". Or, whenever one of their business ventures fails.

Americans will never have to follow this precept, no matter what happens. We've got balls!