Jazz

Autobot Jazz is the heroic racecarman who saved Optimus Prime's life one day when he was being attacked by the evil Decepticlowns. In doing so, Jazz became Optimus Prime's closest friend - his black friend, and when their friendship was announced, it sent waves of tollerance through the south. Only one hundred years ago, Sentinel Prime, or Scooter Libbimus to his friends, had owned black slaves in the south, forcing them to transform into black horses and black cattle and black cotton-gins.



Some say Jazz, son of a former Cotton-Gin-former, united the autobots when he saved Optimus Prime's life that day. Others call him a fraud, a faker, and a conformist. Shadow Panther, leader of the cybertronian Black Panthers, insists that Jazz is an "Uncle Tomformer", and sites his visibly WHITE paintscheme as an act of subservience, trying to be like the other "white" transformers. Autobot Jazz was unwilling to comment, but has promised to play 80s rock ballards very loudly to protest.

In the far off year of 1988, Jazz decided he needed a giant flesh bag to run around in, and Optimus Prime gave him a caucasian pretender shell. Wheelie, fellow black autobot, asked Optimus Prime "Give black white shell, won't you go to robot hell?" Sadly, Optimus Prime mistook Wheelie for a burglar and shot him 17 times in the face. Later, he explained he was colorblind, like noted tv personality/revolutionary Dr. Stephen Colbert.