PETA

PETA is an animal rights group that wants to stop Americans from doing anything even remotely American including eating meat, fishing, caging animals for our amusement, shooting animals for our amusement, wearing the skins of animals, eating animals, or dressing up as animals to have outrageous, freakish, kinky sex. It's called a furry fetish and there's nothing wrong with it; ask your mom.

The only way to combat Peta's subversive tactics is to make up for the animals that they are not killing. So go, buy a gun, wallpaper your house with bear pelts, feed grease-covered sponges to packs of wild dogs and coyotes, Follow the great example of Theodore Roosevelt

PETA Trivia

 * PETA stands for Pussies Evilly Terrorizing Americans
 * PETA members are often vegans. This means they like food that has no flavor and provides no sustenance. They are pale and weak and can be blown over by a stiff wind.
 * PETA has protested zoos, circuses and father-son fishing tournaments. Its members also enjoy beating up clowns and otherwise robbing children of the joys of youth.
 * PETA's most famous spokesperson is actress Pamela Anderson. PETA has not distanced itself from Anderson despite her history of meat eating and beaver abuse.
 * PETA is in allegiance with bears. The organization promotes the disarming of hunters and would leave us defenseless from the attacks of godless bears.
 * PETA members have no sense of humor. Expect them to vandalize this entry.
 * P-Diddy does not like PETA, in fact Diddy is wanted by the Colorado State Police for the gruesome murder of over 25 PETA members.
 * PETA has been considered by many to be the only thing possibly gayer than the Taepodong missle.
 * There is some evidence that PETA was founded at the direction of the KGB to weaken America during the cold war era.
 * Despite saying that they're vegans, they go into the woods at night and eat poor defenseless Pokemon
 * Most members of PETA are also members of NAMBLA
 * PETA wants to put an end to animal mascots, but is fine with the Cleveland Indians, Washington Redskins, and the Springfield Baby Molesters.