Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is the third most hated holiday by liberals. The first and second being Christmas and Easter, respectfully. Thanksgiving is the day to be reminded that the Indians were happy we came to America and saved them from being savages. They were taught how to be great businessmen and casino owners.

On this day, it is customary (and required by law) to state emphatically that you are thankful to have the greatest president in history serve our country with the same sense of morality and dignity that the earliest settlers had.

More than Americans, Turkeys love this holiday. For one day a year, they are King and the focus of every red, white, and blue loving person out there.

Your Hot Cousin
How can something so wrong feel so right?

Side Dishes

 * Cranberry Sauce
 * Yams
 * Chicken-flavored-water-marinated toast casserole

Loosening One's Pants
Not in front of That Weird Uncle.

Famous Turkeys That Have Received Pardons

 * Oliver North
 * Richard Nixon

Famous Turkeys That Have Yet to Receive Pardons

 * Bob Ney
 * Jack Abramoff
 * Jeff Skilling
 * Tom DeLay
 * Donald Rumsfeld