Gay/Spectrum

See Also: The DeGeneres Paradox

Definitely Not Gay

 * God-shaped Hole
 * Slutty women
 * Fred Phelps
 * Rick Santorum
 * John Hagee
 * Jerry Falwell
 * Eminem
 * Caesar Honeybee
 * Snake Marriage
 * Vatican
 * Pope Benedict
 * Oprah and her not-gay best friend Gail King
 * Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth
 * Polish Priests
 * Stephen Colbert and Tad, the Building Manager

Ex-Gay

 * Jeff Gannon
 * Any formerly Gay Catholic Priest
 * Ted Haggard
 * Daffy Duck
 * Ex-Gay Re-virgins

Maybe Gaybe

 * Troops
 * Scott McClellan
 * Torquemada
 * Karl Rove
 * Ken Mehlman
 * Outed by a known communist (Bill Maher) on Larry King, so this probably isn't true, right?


 * Steve Carell
 * According to Stephen, his fellow Daily Show correspondent is now the star of the Gay T.V. series "The Orifice"



Delusions of Gaydeur

 * Madonna
 * Britney Spears

Ambiguously Gay

 * Ace and Gary
 * Jay Leno
 * Carol Gay
 * Hitler
 * Rainbow[[Image:bertandernie.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[w:c:muppet:Bert and Ernie's Relationship|Bert and Ernie share an apartment on Sesame Street]].]]
 * John Kerry
 * Malcolm VII
 * Minnesota
 * Sean Hannity and Alan Colmes
 * Ralph Reed
 * Navy
 * Air Force
 * Retarded
 * Womanliness
 * Wrestling
 * Spongebob Squarepants
 * Superman

Closetly.... gay

 * Log Cabin Republicans
 * Jack Abramoff
 * Lincoln
 * Chuck Noblet and Geoffrey Jellineck
 * Jon Stewart

Gay Friendly

 * Margaret Cho
 * Jerri Blank
 * Orlando Bloom
 * Arianna Huffington
 * Wyoming
 * Deval Patrick
 * Liberals
 * Democrats
 * Bears
 * The Ethnics

Pretty Darn Gay

 * Slutty men
 * New Jersey judges
 * Lance Bass
 * Kim Jong II
 * Mary Cheney
 * Doogie Howser
 * Andrew Sullivan
 * The Earl of Butt
 * Rent
 * The "Triangle," NC
 * New York Intellectuals

Gay as the Day is Long

 * Taxachusetts
 * James Guckert
 * Mark Foley
 * Florida Democrat and NAMBLA member


 * Ted Haggard (out)
 * Freddie Mercury
 * Paul Barnes
 * Portland, Oregon
 * The Left-wing

Queer as a Three Dollar Bill

 * Barney Frank
 * Tyrone Hunnibi
 * Pee Wee Herman
 * The Dude-erus
 * Francois the French Communist Godless Gay Grizzly Bear
 * Dan Savage
 * Seattle, Washington

Criminally Gay

 * Oscar Wilde
 * Alan Turing
 * Joe Orton
 * Valerie Solanas
 * St. Sebastian
 * Godless Sodomites

NEA Gay

 * Tim Miller
 * Robert Mapplethorpe

UberGay

 * New York City's West Village
 * The People's Republic of San Francisco
 * West Hollywood, California
 * Every single bar on Broadway Street in Long Beach, CA
 * French-Canadians
 * The Left-handed
 * Gaysreal
 * Glory hole