Mitch McConnell

Mitch McConnell really loves the coal industry. I mean, like really. A lot. He's so their best friend. Whenever there's an "accident," Mitch is The Man with the Plan for King Coal.

Also, he's really good friends with the tobacco industry. But not as much as coal.

He also likes his wife, Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao. When you want to cover up a major ecological disaster for your buddies in the coal industry, having your wife head of the Labor Department totally rocks. Labor oversees OSHA, and the Mining Safety and Health Commission, and all sorts of other useful oversight bypass valves.

Mitch and Elaine love each other sooooo much. They also both love the Greatest President Ever.

They probably have sex. With each other - McConnell and Chao, I mean, not either of them with the President. Anyway you think about it, though, just ... don't. It will only disturb you.



Oh yeah. What matters: Mitch McConnell was recently elected to serve as Minority Leader for the incoming 110th Congress, which means he will be the highest ranking Republican in the Senate. Go Mitch!