Ford

Ford is an American car company that was founded by Henry Ford in 1493. At one point in history it was the biggest car company in the world, and Henry was famous for saying "any color as long as its black", but today he would be called a racist for saying this.

Ford Cars
Ford is famous for making cars that are driven by real American men. You would never catch one of the gays driving a Ford, and their salesmen are prohibited from selling to gays. Ford cars have macho names. Some of the cars Ford makes are: The Taurus The Mustang The Probe The Thunderbird The Schlong

Ford Ownership
Ford owns a controlling share interest in the following companies: Mazda, Volvo, Jaguar, and Toyota. Ford also owns Lincoln (founded by President Lincoln) and Mercury (the thermometer company). It is a little known fact that President Gerald Ford was the 18th cousin second-removed of Henry Ford, but he sold his 0.0016% share in the company after his death.

The Mustang AC Shelby Cobra 500 GT
The most famous Ford car of all is the Mustang AC Shelby Cobra 500 GT. It was named after Carol Shelby who was Henry Ford's wife. Only 500,000 of them were ever made. The Greatest President Ever drives one.

American Idol
Ford is the sponsor of American Idol, the greatest show on television. The contestants get to do music videos and stuff, and get filmed having sex inside Ford cars, which makes people want to buy more Ford cars. This is odd, because the demographic that American Idol is marketed to (infants and pedophiles) cannot afford cars.