Idaho

Idaho is a noble state. It is believed to reside between Idaho's Puerto Rico and Montana. Growing at an alarming rate since the construction of its first town, a cowboy brothel, it is now the most densely populated state in the Western Hemisphere. Most famously known for its giant potato crops, Idaho has used this to its advantage, placing both surveillance gear in the unlikely tubers as well as mind controlling agents to ward off suspicion.

The average Idaho potato ranges in size from 8 - 32 inches in diameter and are known to contain an acid-filled nucleus. The size of the Idaho potato compared to an average potato is so great a difference because of the fact that early Idahoans pleasured themselves with the spuds. This created humanoid potato offspring that are both intelligent and bloodthirsty.

Contrary to common belief, the Klu Klux Klan does not even exist in Idaho. Quite the contrary as Idahoan believe such behavior is strictly limited to the lesser, Southern states including Texas. Idaho remains to this day, thanks to its ever-increasing size, the largest state in the continental United States.

Early Idahoans faced numerous problems with the areas indigenous Great North Mountain Bear population. In combination with the wild potato species, the threat was too great for any one person to overcome. Luckily though, such a person existed in Dr. Stephen Tyrone Colbert DFA. Around 1794, Dr. Colbert arrived in Idaho on a safari expedition seeking the Great North Mountain Bear. In an act of sheer cleverness and ingenuitude, he constructed a KAPO (Kick-Ass Potato Cannon). Using the wild potatoes as ammunition, Stephen Colbert proceeded to entirely eradicate the Great North Mountain Bear population over the course of 1 1/4 hours, stopping halfways to make and eat his famous potato soup. Stephen Colbert then built a mansion from the millions of bear pelts, the mansion he later abandoned because the upkeep was too hasslesome. Todays people of Idaho farm the potato in honor of Stephen Colbert's feats. They keep a ready supply on hand in case the Great North Mountain Bear population has a recurrence and once again wreaks havoc on the State.