Cornholist

Cornholist
A Cornholist is a follower or student of the truth enterprise which has come to be called cornholism. The first Cornholist was Robert Cornhole and the first self-professed Cornholist was Joseph Smith. There are many contemporary cornholists, among them Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Pat Robertson and, the blessed and worshipful, Stephen Colbert.

All Cornholists believe, nay, all Cornholists know that Robert Cornhole was one of America's founding fathers and most Cornholists accept the so-called Cornhole-thesis, which posits that Robert Cornhole was America's primary founding father.

Cornhole Identity
There is at present a crisis as concerns the question: "What does it mean to be a Cornholist?" Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh have spear-headed the battle for Cornholistry but Glenn Beck has offered a penetrating analysis of the Cornhole question and perhaps inspired the erection of a new cornholism. Some say that Glenn Beck has been annointed the prophet of cornholism due to his initiation into the Mormon church and his access to Joseph Smith's private writings, some of which concern Smith's attraction to Cornhole. Most of the so-called Colbert Cornholists, having been initiated into the cornholism circle by Stephen Colbert, hold Colbert to be the prophet of cornholistry. There is reason to believe that Glenn Beck's call to Colbert for prophecy is reason to believe that Beck has transferred the so-called cornhole crown to Colbert.

Rush Limbaugh, Cornholist or no?
Rush Limbaugh was a longtime advocate of Cornholism until the so-called cornhole controversy which concerned Rush's interpretation, or some would argue misinterpretation, of the word cornhole. Rush questioned the Cornhole-thesis and Hannity responded with criticism by urging Rush to read his book entitled "Cornholed: The Gay Liberal Academic Agenda for America". Later however Hannity offered to lick Rush's crack but whether this makes Limbaugh an active Cornholist is unclear.