Friedrich Nietzsche

Friedrich Nietzsche was a Nazi philosopher, which also makes him a follower of Satan. His birth and death date are unknown, but he must have lived a long time. He was alive during the crucifixion of Jesus (which is why he said that God is dead) but he lived long enough to fight for the Nazis in World War II.

The Superman
Nietzsche's most well-known ideas is the Superman (or Überman, for you non-American speakers) which is a person who is better than all other human beings. Nietzsche wrote the comic book Superman in order to describe this idea. To date, there has only been one person who fit the description of Superman: Stephen Colbert.

Our Glorious Stephen can leap reality in a single bound, fly faster than a speeding sound bite, and shoot lasers from his balls. Das Überbert also possesses the most important quality of a Superman, the ability to base his perception of the world on truthiness. Stephen Colbert has freed himself from the dogmatic confines of fact and logic. He knows that reality is what he decides it is. He says whatever he wants and refuses to bend to liberal demands for evidence and reason.

Also, facts are like kryptonite to Stephen, but instead of weakening him, they just piss him off.

Other Possible Supermen

 * Jesus
 * George W. Bush
 * Jack Bauer
 * Optimus Prime
 * Condoleezza Rice

The Gay Science
Friedrich Nietzsche also wrote a book called The Gay Science. It is the main holy book of the religions known as homosexuality and evolutionism. Its main teachings are blind faith in facts and scientific method. It also teaches all scientists to be, as the title implies, gay. This proves that Stephen Colbert was right about the dangers in reading things in books.