Care Bears

Care Bears, long a deceptive and under-appreciated threat to America's national security, are not to be taken lightly. If you see one, report them to the authorities immediately!



Notable Care Bears
Strangely, almost all the Care Bears are female, and it's probable they reproduce by siphoning off sperm from bear abortion clinics. One of the few males in their ranks is Grumpy Bear, who is no doubt so angry because he's constantly surrounded by over zealous liberal female bears.

Other notable Care Bears include:
 * Secret Bear: a highly-trained secret agent and spy. She probably works for a sinister international cabal of communist bears, intent on undermining Stephen Colbert and America.
 * Love-a-Lot Bear: one of the most dangerous of the Care Bears, this individual is responsible for promoting promiscuity, and is particularly popular with students and the porn industry.
 * Cheer Bear: this militant lesbian bear proudly wears a rainbow and lives in San Francisco. She is obsessed with preaching extreme left-wing ideologies and furthering the liberal destruction of America.