Environmentally-friendly Businesses

These corporations are businesses in name only. They hate profits and The Baby Jesus and Milton Freidman so much, they can't stand to bequeath all their earnings to their lazy kids or an off-shore tax Carribean shelter.

What a bunch of assholes.


 * Timberland, boot-strapless boots, whose "CEO" Jeff Swartz appeared on "The Colbert Report" and was nailed more times than any other guest next to Russ Lieber.


 * Patagonia, another liberal clothing maker, based in Cauliflower. This company makes their clothing from the wool from sheep that receive massages every day and are hand fed organic grass.


 * Ben and Jerry's, a latte-drinking, Volvo-driving, gay-marrying couple of Vermont drag queens who make orgy-inducing ice cream. They slap the Baby Jesus in the face by naming their concotions after their Hollywood liberal friends:
 * Ben Assleck Reamery
 * George Clooney Frozen Semen-palooza
 * Alicia Silverstone Vegan Air and Water Cups