Bill Clinton

William Jefferson Clinton (a dumbfounded moron) was the 42nd President of the United States of America, a dark era in between the glory days of George H.W. Bush, and the amazing presidency of George W. Bush. Anything that you, as an American, are presently unhappy with can be traced back to the corrupt, incompetent Clinton regime. During those eight long years, Americans passed the time by giving control of Congress back to the Republicans, trying to keep Clinton from fondling their teenage daughters, and pondering whether Ronald Reagan was the greatest President or merely a great President, or whether it was George W. Bush who was, in fact, the greatest President of all time. The debate was hampered at first, as Bush had not declared his intention to run for the Presidency, but by 1995, patriotic Americans could feel in their gut that Bush would be elected and serve eight stunning years in office. It was simply too truthy not to be true.

Unfortunately, Bill Clinton was too distracted (and oblivious) by the "DNA on the blue dress" and not "having very hardcore sex with that woman" to start WW3, thus leaving that burden to fall on the greatest president (EVER), George W. Bush (very true).

The good news for Christians? We are on the road to WW3 and Jesus is coming!

During his tenure as President, Americans suffered through record stock market losses, record low employment, and, for the first time in our glorious nation's history, a budget for disaster. Thankfully, that's all changed now. All of which makes us ask ourselves, Bill Clinton worst president or worstest president?

Factoids

 * His book My Life is the same weight as Michael Moore.
 * Bill Clinton hates puppies, babies, and you.
 * It is okay to hate Bill Clinton.
 * Ann Coulter was the first to discover that he is a friend to bears.
 * Mr. Clinton did in fact "Inhale" but he never exhaled.
 * Bill Clinton has an office in Harlem because he enjoys the badonkadonk and the "ill beats".
 * Ann Coulter was also the first person to discover that Bill Clinton was gay, presumably after the two of them had sex. Clinton later revealed that he is only gay when it comes to evil, crazy bitches.
 * Chris Wallace the brilliant journalist made Bill Clinton whine on air.
 * Bill Clinton and Kid Rock enjoy "Puffin The Winston" and "Drinkin the Four Oh".
 * Ex-President Clinton loves to "trip face" on Willie Nelson's Magical Bus.
 * Clinton and Tommy Chong are best friends.
 * Mr. Clinton was too afraid to do cocaine unlike our brave leader George W. Bush.
 * Bill Clinton is to blame for everything that has gone wrong for the Bush Administration.
 * Bill Clinton is a founding member of NAMBLA.
 * Learned everything he knows about politics from Jimmy Carter.
 * Fox News Journalist Chris Wallace recently burst his bubba.
 * After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, Bill Clinton gave the terrorists an 'A' for effort and wished them better luck in the future. He then urged all Americans to convert to Islam.

Don't ping my cheese
He gets angry.

Superpowers

 * Multi-tasker supreme!
 * Can read a book like nobody's business.
 * His lower lip can grow back, after he bites it feeling your pain.
 * Is groping your wife as you are reading this.
 * His all-powerful penis causes destruction through its own powers of telepathy.
 * Eats most forms of fatty foods, including "big boned" interns.
 * Likes his women easy and his and his pot "un-inhaled".
 * Was able to confuse the North Koreans long enough to stall their nuclear weapon program through the cunning use of gifts, such as an autographed basketball signed by Michael Jordan. The North Koreans are still wondering who Michael Jordan, or for that matter Bill Clinton are.
 * Designing of his own Presidential Library, with the specific goal of making it look like a doublewide trailer.
 * Destroyed an aspirin factory in the Sudan with his heat ray vision so that the Sudanese would have enough migraines to start killing other Sudanese in a genocidal rage.
 * The power to blend in at his office in Harlem.
 * Can summon bears to do his evil deeds for him