Chinese (food)

Chinese food was created in China, one assumes back when he Earth was created just over 2000 years ago. Originally, Chinese food was tasteless and composed of unsavory ingredients which may or may not have included family pets. This is the preferred food of liberals, communists, gays and hippies.

It wasn't until Chinese food was brought to America that it became the most kick ass cuisine ever. Chinese food was brought to America by Jesus on the Mayflower, and once on our shores, great Americans like Abe Lincoln and George Washington added their own American flavors to it. Thus was born sweet and sour pork, egg rolls and orange sauce chicken, to name but a few.

Americanized Chinese Food was so good that God proclaimed it the official menu of Heaven.