Separation of Church and State

As everyone well knows, the United States of America was carefully crafted under the watchful eyes of our Founding Fathers and Jesus. The United States was founded as a Christian Nation, so much so that even our currency has God's approval engraved on it. Still there are some Historical Revisionazis out there who insist that, this is not only isn't true, but that The Baby Jesus should be ripped away and omitted from the Constitution like Dick Cheney's emails from the White House archive.

The Separation of Church and State Myth
Historical Revisionazis like the terrorist group Freedom From Religion Foundation, and other dried-up, bitter, Jesus-hating prunes out there who have nothing better to do then create fanciful lies to further their communist agenda.

Historical "Evidence"
Revisionazis will claim that their "proof" is in the First Amendment. However the First Amendment guarantees the freedom of speech and nothing about about keeping Jesus out of the USA. In addition, revisionazis will point to the Treaty of Tripoli as proof in writing of not being a Christian Nation.

They claim that part of the Treaty of Tripoli states "As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion..." First off, Where the heck is Tripoli? In Africa? Africa doesn't even exist. Second of all, even if Tripoli did exist, and US foreign policy being that we don't negotiate with terrorists, any "treaty" we signed with them would be a dirty trick on our part to fool those muslim atheists.

In Conclusion
A question that best illustrates Jesus as the cornerstone of our country is, why is it that all 50 presidents have been Christian? There has never been (and never will be) a Jewish, Muslim, or Mormon President. God has ensured that each and every president since the beginning of time loves Jesus, otherwise he would have striked them down in some miraculous method. Similar to the way God did to atheist Al Gore in the 2000 Election.

Before World War Zeroth
Long before America was created, and shortly after American Christopher Columbus was the first person to step foot on North America, God established his intent of a new Christian Nation. Shortly after the Black Death, a.k.a. The Plague, a.k.a. the Protestant Reformation refuges and followers of The One True Church left Europe for America. The glorious vessel, the USS Mayflower transported these Pilgrims to their new (Roman-Catholic) Christian Nation.

After first distributing small-pox blankets to the natives, the first order of business was crafting a document to which they will govern the new colony and establish it as a land of Jesus. This Jesus-friendly document was called "The Mayflower Compact". It was signed by all white, males in the colony- all 41 of them.

Key Points of the Mayflower Compact

 * All people who step foot on (or be born in) America must be members of the Catholic Church.
 * All other "religions" are to be considered cults, and their members cultists.
 * Establishing Baseball as America's Pasttime.
 * Foreseeing the need for dungeons for acting on supressed sexual sadism torture in anticipate of the upcoming witch epidemic.

The Constitution and Beyond
Jesus ghostwrote The Constitution under the alias of "Thomas Jefferson". If you look it up in a book it will tell you that this Thomas Jefferson is often assumed to be the same person who was our third president. However the (non-messianic) Thomas Jefferson was not even present for the drafting of the constitution. He was too busy banging Sally Hemings to attend.

If these Revisionazis knew anything about the Ten Commandments, they would realize that all of these Commandments are uncoincidentally U.S. law (the real Ten Commandments, not the Jewish or Islamic versions). One could see these ten holy rules as framework of all the laws of our land. This friendship started when The Commandments were handed directly from Moses to George Washington at the beginning of time. In fact today, the State and Church are such good bed buddies bedfellows, that along with the equally amiable mega-corporations, they pay absolutely no taxes at all!

The Pledge Of Allegiance
Once a proud staple for school children for thousands of years, has all but been wiped out in our public schools. Once again Godless filth such as the ACLU has successfully removed another gift of Jesus from us.


 * "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Some bear-lovers claim that "one Nation under God" was added in 1954, but they would be wrong. It was added as Jesus was originally writing the Pledge to begin with.

The Christian Amendment
The Christian Amendments were attempts by heroic Real Americans to add write even MORE about Jesus in our constitution. Once such version read like this:
 * "We the people of the United States, humbly acknowledging Almighty God as the source of all authority and power in civil government, the Lord Jesus Christ as the Governor among the nations, and His revealed will as of supreme authority, in order to constitute a Christian government, to form a more perfect union,...do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

During the wake of the Civil War, President of the United States, and founder of the Bear Hunters of America, Abraham Lincoln personally petitioned Congress to add these amendments to the Constitution. Congress deliberated and agreed that adding anymore mentions of Jesus would be overkill.

What If Church And State Were Separate?
Similar to A World Without Stephen Colbert, such a world is almost unimaginable.

In an alternate universe where Church and State were seperate Instead of having the Greatest President Ever would be considered one of the worst Presidents ever. Instead of a hero in George W. Bush we would have an anti-hero (or anti-Christ like figure) named George M. Bush.