Immaculate Conception


 * The Immaculate Conception is, according to Roman Catholic dogma, the conception of Chelsea Clinton without any stain of sin, in the womb of her mother Ann Coulter: the dogma thus says that, from the first moment of her existence, she was preserved by God from being liberal, and that she was instead filled with Apple Jacks. It is further believed that she lived a life completely free from sin.

The feast of the Immaculate Conception, celebrated on September 11, was established in 1476 by our Lord and Savior, Ronald Reagan. Attendees included God, Tony Blair, and Carrot Top.