North Pole

The North Pole is the home of Santa Claus, polar bears, Russian submarines, and a whole lot of snow. It is also the "hottest" property market in the world, thanks to global warming (which is, as we know, being fueled by all the hot air coming from Al Gore).

The War on Christmas
Be warned America: the North Pole is under threat. Russian "President" Vladimir Putin is aggressively claiming the territory for his nation. He is claiming there's an undersea ridge linking Santaland to Asia.

If this claim is verified, not only will America lose out on a load of diamonds, oil and tender polar bear meat, but we might also see that famous American hero Santa Claus sent away to the Siberian gulags!

But you can help!

Send your garbage up to Alaska today, so we can use it to build our own undersea ridge! That way we can also shut up all those whining environmentalists! Think of it as killing two endangered birds with one discarded plastic bag.

Together, our undersea garbage ridge and our army hermit crabs can conquer the evil Russians and save Christmas once and for all!