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Wikiality.com is slowly trying to get back in the groove of writing truthy news. Please excuse the quality and quantity during this period.

Enjoy Write A Caption and our Daily Poll in the interim.

'''See Also:
 * Daily Poll Write A Caption Bear Watchers Abomination Watch'''

Breaking News Archive

Groundhog Day: Rodent Terrorist Bites un-american traitor liberal mayor
Al-Qaeda: you will suffer six more weeks of winter!

'''Gaylandia States of America. February 2, 2009''' - Nation, looks like Al-Qaeda has recruited another animal in the War on Terror. Charles G. Hogg Mohammed G. Hadd is a terrorist groundhog who not only promised another ‘six more weeks of winter’ but will make sure all Americans will relieve the same horrible day over and over again… But his rain of terror was not over with his anti-american speech, he then later bit the mayor of NY and stole his wallet.

Punxsutawney Phil is the most famous and most successful groundhog in the family, and has the unfortunate misfortune of being Mohammed G. Hadd’s cousin. When asked about the behavior of his less famous cousin he replied, “He is a show-off, biting the mayor’s hand means nothing… He is just doing it to get some tail, if you know what I mean…”

Obama’s Superbowl Party is a Fiasco
Please, someone think of the children!!

'''Pr0ncity, USA. February 2, 2009''' - the mooslim president is already a failure, and one wonders why is he still trying. According with sources Obama hosted his first Superbowl Party at the White House. To make sure that nothing went wrong, Obama’s personal techno-geeks took over all of the TV stations around the country, to make sure that his office would get exclusive footage of the game! Liberal hippies and Real Americans came to the party to enjoy the game, as a sign of bipartisanship… there was no sign of anything that could possibly go wrong…

What they didn’t expect was what would some call “The most horrendous event in Superbowl history, not since the wardrobe malfunction incident”…

What awaited tv viewers around the nation was not the football game but a movie of the sexual and pornographic nature…

According with sources, Obama’s techno-geeks botched the signal and aired a porno movie for a full hour!

“It was horrible! I had kids with me watching the game!!” claimed a God-fearing Republican. “If this it what the Obama’s watches during Sunday… then he is and will never be my president!”

“ I am pretty sure there is a logical explanation I like it” claimed the hippie bear-loving liberal.

Nation, after the porno movie was aired for one full hour, we believe this pissed off God! As a response God sent the biggest snowstorm of the century to cover London Washington for the sin of loving porno movies.

If Obama is smart he should sign a presidential pardon for those techs before they are subpoena in front of Congress for airing filthy movies.

Martha Washington: Hottie First Lady or The Hottiest First Lady Ever?
FLILF!!

''' Sexyland Islamofacist States of America. February 2, 2009''' - When you think Martha Washington, you think of a overweight, grumpy, patriotic, modest, and a sweet senile old lady… well not anymore… according with sources liberal historians or “Revisionistas” want to change the image of our first First Lady… they want to sex her up!!

The liberal historians believe that Martha Washington was more “lively, sexy, and fun”.

“She was a God-fearing woman… but also loved reading gothic romance novels! (the equivalence of trashy romance novels). She was a fierce business woman (many called her a slave-driver… literally), and love night clubs, so she would party all night!” claimed a historian idiotic liberal.

Nation, don’t let the “Revisionistas” change the image of our First Lady! We have evidence that their “evidence” is questionable at best. They base most of their ‘fantasy’ from an old article that could be interpreted in many ways…

Playboy’s 1748 Edition:

Playmate Data Sheet

Name: Martha Custis Dandridge (aka colonial Turkey-loving revel)

Bust: 34D Waist: 24 Hips: 34

Height: 5 feet Weight: 115

Birth date: June 2, 1731 Birthplace: New Kent County, Virginia

Ambitions: To be the First on something…

Turn-ons: I love freedom, liberty, and men in uniforms… (Ambitious men are a plus)

Turnoffs: I hate oppression, taxation without representation, and tyrants.

My Favorite Activities: tearing down the British establishment and sticking it up to the Crown…

My Family In a Nutshell: They area all farmers… except for my illegitimate half-sister, Ann Dandridge, who is my personal slave, literally!

My Three Guilty Pleasures: Reading Gothic Novels, Night Clubbing, and Horse Ridding.

The Best Concert I Ever Saw: All Baroque concerts, but don’t tell my daddy!

Un-American News: Lesbian declared as First King of Iceland
”Abomination Watch” caught off guard…

''' Iceland Gayslandia. February 1, 2009''' - Nation, we have noticed a very disturbing trend lately. In this collapsing world, people are driven by fear and desperation, which blinds them from reason and end up electing "undesirables" as their new leaders… we suspect many of them have drunk too much from the spiked punch of liberalism…!

First we saw our beloved Nation of America elect a black man mooslim as their new president, now we have skyrocketing unemployment, a collapsing economy, and terror warnings around the word… no sooner has this happened that the Icelandic government collapsed was overthrown by the liberals and a Lesbian was elected as the new PM King of Iceland now Gaylandia… (a woman with power and ruler of a country? How gay is that!)

Whats next? Will the Germans elect Knut the Polar Bear as their new Führer? (considering since we are talking about the Germans, this wouldn’t be the first or last time they elect a godless killing machine..). Will France capitulate to their sissified citizens and finally elect a Baguette as the new French President? (Knowing the French, that would actually be an improvement…). If this trend continues many loyals bushies and friends of The Greatest President Ever could find themselves out of work...

Nation, this kind of trend is disturbing as it is already reaching the far corners of the world! But thankfully no sort of thing will ever happen to Real Americans or the GOP. The Republican Party will stick to its principles, and show the rest of the world that we will outlast these liberal desperate idiots who thinks electing anyone for the sake of affirmative action liberal-gay-bear-loving-hippie policies can “magically” fix their problems… After all, we are not a party of White Rich folks, we are more than that and we will show them all!!!…

World, meet the new GOP and we will kick ass!!

We will resist this liberal islamogayfacist trend and ideology of electing “questionable” leaders out of desperation just because the world is going in a blaze of glory…

New Age For GOP!
 H. Hoover Herbert H. H. H. : Good times are back!

''' Idiot-town Patriot-town. February 1, 2009''' - Nation, we have some good news. The GOP is back! Now that we have a black man God-fearing man as our new leader, I know that the Republican Party is in good hands! And not just a good man, but a modest one too!

But enough about the black man… it is time to reinvigorate the partee!! And don’t worry America, our party will be fresh, strong, and it will bring new ideas to reinvigorate our country! …after all we are the party of ideas! And we will unveil our new plan to rescue our country… as soon as we get something soon enough…

We cannot leave the fate of the country to the irresponsible democrats who NOT only refuse to our demands ideas for more taxcuts, who not only wont listen to our whines suggestions, but refuse to acknowledge we are still the majority we are still the voice of Real America… after a couple of weeks Obama has lead our nation into disaster and has been unable to fix all of America's problems, clearly a failure of his part…

But don’t worry, we are still strong and united within the Republican Party! As soon as the mooslim president realize he is useless without us, he will have to follow our demands listen to our suggestion to retain our partisanship bipartisanship for the good of the country. Are you listening Obama! Better do what we are telling you! Otherwise you are being a divider and un-american! Be a Patriot, listen to our demands concern! Only a fool would just sit around and do nothing while complaining and undermining the American people

Rush Limbaugh Receives Terrorist Threat!
 Ralph Nader Hippie Bear-loving Terrorist wants his wallet head

'''Islamofacist States of America. January 30, 2009''' - Nation, it was only a matter of time... Al-Qaeda has sent a threatening terrorist letter to our Real American Hero, Rush Limbaugh.

While we wont publish the letter, because it will just embolden the enemy, all you need to know is that they hate everything that we stand for and wants Mr. Limbaugh's wallet head!

Obama takes away Bonuses allowances this year
Ultra Rich left with pocket change…

'''Wallstreet. January 30, 2009''' - Well Nation, we were warned. Obama is a socialist and he has decided that the Ultra Rich American people has too much money. Why the other day he said all Rich Americans should be ashamed of having money!! The liberal gay bear-loving hippies are demanding that the Ultra Rich Real Americans give back their money to the General Secretary of the Central Committee of the Islamofacist Communist Party of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics of America!!

Many Rich people were forced to survive with just pocket change, “Times are difficult to me. I already have three mistresses and I can only afford two!” claimed a CEO.

“Businesses are slow… we were forced to cut off services like butlers, maids… financial advisors subprime mortgage lenders and chauffeurs…” cried a businessman…

“Obama is a socialist idiot!” claimed a banker, “I cant buy anything with just $400,000 pocket change… how am I suppose to afford a jet, or a yatch, or a new house goodies? Without us, the poor wont have anyone to give them money! This is trickle down economy, and it wont work unless we get large sums of money to give away!”

“You have to understand, bonuses are incentives that make people to work harder… and if they work harder we make more money… and if they make more money everybody wins!” claims John A. Thain some dude…

Local hedgefund manager wino gives his opinion, “I have been eating caviar, drinking Champaign, and sleeping in five stars hotels, thanks to the greed charity of the Rich Ignorants compassionate Real Americans… Without them, I would probably be sleeping on the streets!”

PSSST. RAHM EMMANUEL IS A MEANIE AND A DOODY-HEAD. PASS IT ON
Obama may have cooties…

''' Kindergarden Washinton. January 30, 2009''' - Rahm-bo hash ben so mean latelie… firsh he kicked ush, then he said awful things… like name calling… and other mean things… I haet him!

Hes an awful awful boy… meanie!!!

SHOCKING NEWS GREAT NEWS ? : GOP ELECTS MOOSLIM BLACK MAN AS NEW LEADER


GOP confirms token black man is a God-Fearing Good Christian

''' Pathetictown Washington. January 30, 2009''' - Nation, the GOP has found a way to get us back in power! Since the liberal gay bear-loving hippies love mooslims black people, the GOP has decided to get a little “hipster” and get their own black man to be the new chairman of the GOP (but we secretly think that Rush Limbaugh is the Real Leader, the black man is just for show…)

Now, for those who don’t have black friends, you are probably scared confused about who is this guy… well, I have reliable sources that this black man is good… he is a good republican and we have the evidence to prove it!

Canada Wannabe-Americans French Whores Declares War on America’s Peanuts
Mr. Peanuts is not pleased

'''Frenchwhoretown, Canada. January 30, 2009''' - Nation, while America is struggling with this terrible economy caused by that mooslim president, our entrepreneurial industries are doing their best to influx more capital into the free market… unfortunately looks like Canada hates our peanuts…

What’s wrong with you Canada? Our peanuts are so good cheap, that you have to be insane not to buy them!! They are so cheap that we are selling them like… well… peanuts… I bet if we were talking about soft lumber it would be a different story…

Canadians are idiots… we have been told that our peanuts are rich on metal fragments iron supplements, so its healthy for you! These peanuts are so good cheap, that it should be a crime just to look at them…

UPDATE: Canada may hate our peanuts, but at least other 'foreign' nations "love" our American's peanuts... China cant get enough of it!

EMERGENCY NEWS: Volcano God is Angry!!
Ted Stevens says he just wants to be friends…

'''Anchorage, Alaska. January 30, 2009''' - Nation, the Volcano God known as Mt. Redoubt (translated as “He Who Votes Twice as Republican”) is Mad as Hell! First this benevolent deity was piss off that his republican Human Friend (Ted Stevens) was kicked out of town… but He was ok, they are still pen pals… plus he was still hoping President Palin McCain would reverse that decision… until America voted for “that one”…

…but that was fine… at least the democrats didn’t get the 60th majority senate seat… …urgh… sorry I almost vomit…

But then things didn’t stop there… the liberals then started to hunt down Redoubt’s other BFFs like Rumsfeld, Karl Rove and other loyal bushies...

Because of this terrible series of unforeseeable events started to happen, it has embolden the enemy… soon Un-american Traitors and mooslims converts started to infiltrate the GOP…

All of this has not pleased The Volcano God… but there are some good news… the GOP will soon be electing their new party leader, and I have credible sources that Limbaugh will lead us to victory in 2012!!

The Greatest President Ever is Still The Greatest President Ever
Karl Rove returns from exile vacation

'''America, USA. January 30, 2009''' - Nation, thanks to a technicality, Obama may not be the president, but Yo-Yo Ma will have to wait before he can take his rightful presidency!

In the meantime, while the political debacle continues, George W. Bush is still the president by default! And we have evidence this time! According with the Terminatrix Elizabeth Cheney, a renowned scholar and our expert legal advisor, George Bush’s presidential powers can be extended even beyond the officially recognize period, he can even be president for life! (but not in name). *sniff* his papa must be so proud… they grow so fast…

Now, the liberal gay bear-loving hippie democrats will tell you that’s not true, that such suggestion is not just silly, but illegal, and unconstitutional… sorry, but if Bush and Cheney say they are in power, they are in power because they says so!

Even Karl Rove agrees that there is only one Real President, and that is George W. Bush.

2009 Report Card: America’s Infrastructures Fails Third Grade
will go to summer school

'''Islamic States of America. January 30, 2009''' - It hasn’t been more than a month and the new mooslim president has brought nothing but failure and disaster to this Nation. The economy is collapsing, we have two wars, unemployment is on the rising, foreigners are still invading America, and Mother Nature is banging us with tons of snow… I knew I should have voted for the old guy

But that is not the worst part… you better sit down for this one… are you ready?… Nation… America’s infrastructures will have to repeat a grade!

Now don’t get mad, I know the report card looks awful… I blame the new guy. Did anyone ever told Obama about The Greatest President Ever’s “No Bridge Left Behind” policy?… no, of course no… instead he wants to toss money to the problem…

I blame myself, maybe I didn’t put enough iron in their cereal… or steal… or copper… and maybe we should had been more strict… you know… no tv or movies until they got the grades up… Maybe we should have hired a tutor and make sure our railway system learned its letters, for sewage to know the difference between clean and polluted ‘super rocket soft drink’, and for levees to get more exercise in PE…

Nation, this report card reflects badly on us! I heard Canada is flaunting their infrastructure since their highways can play the violin! And Japan’s monorail is lording the fact that they will go to Harvard next year!

So Nation, we must demand Congress… to lower our infrastructures standards to the lowest rank so that way it looks like we have the safest and greatest infrastructures in the world!

EMERGENCY NEWS!!: Mooslim President will become New Emperor of America!!!!
Barack, You Magnificent Bastard!!!

'''Islamofacist Nazi States of Commie America. January 29, 2009''' - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Nation, they have finally lost it!! According with sources Obama is thinking of appointing Sen. Judd Gregg (R-NH) to serve as his Secretary of Commerce!!

Now, you are probably asking yourself… but Why not? After all he is a Republican, the guy is in our side… yes… our side… for now… But the real news is that the GOP wont only loose Judd Gregg to the hippie bear loving liberals, but they will be loosing another republican seat!! The New Hampshire's Democratic governor John Lynch would appoint Gregg's replacement (and guess who will he be appointing? A DEMOCRAT!!)

Lately the democrats have started to grow a spine, and this is no fun anymore!!

Nation, we must hope this doesn’t happen! The only saving grace will be if Al Franken DOESNT emerges victorious in the Minnesota recount… otherwise…

…

…

…

...sixty majority senate seat…

...filibuster proof...

Dear God…

'''JUDD DONT DO IT!! ITS A TRAP!!!'''

Telethon: Mr. Rich Whiteguy Will Host Telethon for the Rich Real Americans
Please donate your tax payer money so we can buy a new yatch jet  bank stuff that you commoners need…

Jagofftown, America - People of Wikiality! We need your help! As you know the economy has been hard and difficult for a lot of rich folks Real Americans this year. Which is why the Ultra Rich important people will be holding a telethon exclusive only to the rich, the powerful, and the politicians people who know what they are doing…

Nation, as tax payers we must sent a clear message to congress! We must help these folks so they can help us! After all that’s how trickle down economics works! By helping these rich billionaires entrepreneurial investors they will use that money to invest in America… but unfortunately there are obstacles making it difficult for these ‘poor’ folks to help us… one of those obstacles is a deadly liberal disease called “unionnitis”, a terrible deadly disease, which is why it must be funded with free money “bailout” money to help eliminate this deadly roadblock toward economic prosperity.

Unfortunately the commie gay hippie bear-loving liberals are demanding a stop, they say we shouldn’t use tax payer money fund for a cure against “Liberaliviginitus”, “Unionnitis”, and other deadly liberal diseases…

Nation, I don’t know about you BUT I AM MAD AS HELL!!! This is an indignation and We should boycott congress until they listen to our demands!

Here is a letter that I was told I should read (which I haven’t but will soon). You should read it too…

I am so mad I don’t know what to do…

I know!!!

If you believe an investigation is warranted are mad as hell that Rich White folks cant use tax payer money we cannot find a cure against these deadly liberal diseases, please call 202-224-3121 to let your representatives and the key committee chairs listed on the letter know your opinion.

Democrats unleash their own Anti-American Video
…is ok… but they are no Ossama

'''Islamofacist States of America. January 29, 2009''' - Nation, it was only a matter of time. Now that the democrats have their own mooslim president, the liberal bear-loving gay-loving hippie democrats are trying to emulate their mooslim leader so they can please him. So they decided to release their own anti-american video to threaten any Real American that gets in their way and to bully the GOP to do the will of their new mooslim master…

Here is the Anti-American video. I must warn you about the disturbing graphic content and the foul language that is used in the video.

New Peanut Butter To Be Sold All Over US
so delicious, it is to die for!

'''Greedytown, USA. January 29, 2009''' - While many industries are shutting down, it is good to know there is hope for economic recovery. Nation, I have some good news, The Prescott Group will be opening new factories all over China the US! Many of them will start making peanut butters in a revolutionary way… why such opening is important? According with sources they can produce peanut butter cheaper, faster, and better than most traditional companies, thus making a profit! creating more capital to be invested into the market and feeding all of America at the same time! If this works they have announced they will open several new factories to produce toothpaste, milk, powder milk, pet foods, and other consumer goods that could kill us save us a ton of money!

The Prescott Group will take over buy an already established peanut butter plant in Georgia so they can start right away, it was previously known as Peanut Corp. of America “The plant has a reputation of manufacturing safe and cheaper products, we were impressed” claimed CEO of the new peanut butter plant. The new peanut butter plant, and many future factories will implement the new revolutionary procedure, they say the new policy will follow the will of the market to produce cheaper products for the American consumer!

Nation, cheaper products and services are on their way!

UPDATE: The factory was shutdown because of unforeseeable events, all I can say it was the liberals fault, because they hate money…

Obama The Infrastructure Socialist
“We don’t need clean water, just buy bottle water” claims bottle water salesman a Real American

Socialist-town, USA. - Nation, the new mooslim president wants to socialize America’s infrastructure in his new “Socialist Liberal Package”… this is a very dangerous slippery slope into Socializing America. If we allow this, soon we will be converting into Atheism, learning to speak ruskie, and even gay marry each other!! First of all, that is a waste of good money! We still have road and bridges, and the last time we have a problem was decades ago years ago  months ago  weeks ago …cant remember but I am sure nothing terrible has happened yet…

But my point is, you shouldn’t listen to these liberal Factinistas engineers, just like those scientist that claim Global Warming is may be real (but only because the market says so), there is no proof that America’s infrastructures are in peril. A very ridiculous idea, this is nothing but another liberal lie…

I have solid evidence that there is no “crisis”, that this whole thing is nothing but a liberal conspiracy to Socialize America, and if we allow this to happen we will regret it… don’t listen to the lie, and tell congress to stop wasting good money on liberal lies! Instead we should let the market decide and fix our infrastructure! They have always known what is best for the stock holder consumer American citizen…

GOP’s New Plan to Retake Congress!!
 Rich White People Real Americans demand equal representation

''' Asswh*letown Patriot-town, USA. January 28, 2009''' - Nation, while many Real Americans are despairing to the fact that we have a black mooslim president, the lost theft of congressional majority, and the shocking news that Obama is gay for Ahmadineloveyousomuchjihad…, there are still some who are still fighting the good fight in The War on Liberals.

The Liberal Media are so in love with the new mooslim president that they have undermined the American people, so they are of no help at all! Only Real Heroes like Papa Bear, and Rush Limbaugh and a few others can lead us in these trouble times.

Nation, we are tired of this democratic congress already, we should impeach them all and held new elections by now. But thankfully the GOP has listened to our pleads for help. Which is why Conservapedia is taking the fight against these sissified bear-loving liberals. According with our sources they will present a plan to take congress back, it will involve kidnapping, harassment, assassination, blackmail, slandering, raep, and old fashion lynching some secret activities that we cannot reveal at the moment… hey it worked before!

Nation, we cannot waste a moment, we must put the GOP back in power before is too late, only they know how to bring back this nation back to its former glory! We must bring more tax cuts to the rich people, cut off unnecessary services, and give more money bailout services to the rich banks  robber barons vital financial institutions.

We must act now before all Real Americans are hunt down like animals for violating the law!



EMERGENCY NEWS: DEADLY PLAGUE “LIBERALIVIGINATUS” HITS US!!!
 Canada Neo America here I come

'''Islamofacist States of America. January 28, 2009''' - Nation this it an emergency broadcast!!! We just recently learned that a deadly liberal plague is infecting Real Americans in overwhelming numbers! The CDC claims that it has already hit the whole US, and if this escalates it could possible turn America into a “Libealiviginatus” paradise, and the effects could last 4 years… maybe 8 if things goes worst… Since the Democrats are now the new Majority they haven’t done anything to stop the deadly plague, in fact they are encouraging it!

Nation, beware of this deadly disease, if you have these symptoms, you should call your doctor… no forget that, that will be too late, call your local priest and hope you get rapture before is too late!

The “Liberaliviginatus” symptoms includes:


 * Attraction of the same sex!


 * A desire to gay marry your hot neighbor!


 * Wanting longer school hours, more funding for museums, art centers, and libraries!


 * A complete understanding of Evolution and the rejection of Creationism!


 * Wishing to grow up to be a scientist or becoming a scientist!


 * An unconditional love for bears, foreigners, The Gays, and the hippie way of life and the total embrace of Mother Nature!


 * Complete rejection of the free market and the embrace of communism!


 * And much much more… but if it feels “too good” and “liberating”, you have been infected!

But Nation, it may not be too late. According with our numbers, we can still stop the spread of this plague before it is too late. The numbers indicate that there aren’t enough registered voters plague victims to overwhelm the majority of Real Americans, so we may have a chance…

…But if things do turn for the worst, I hear there is enough room for us Real Americans in Canada Neo America. We should easily invade liberate them since half of them are French, plus I hear their government sucks, so we should easily get establish a New Republican/Conservative government…

Obama Challenges Mother Nature
Obama: Bring it on, biatch!

'''America. January 28, 2009''' - Nation, I may not like the new mooslim president, but at least he is not a wimp like the rest of the liberals are. First of all he challenged Mother Nature on his press conference, “Snow?… Ice?… you call this cold?… this is nothing guys! You think this is the beginning of an Ice Age? This is nothing! Mother Nature, Bring it on Biatch!!!” is what the mooslim president said… or so we are told…

That would have been the end of it, but unfortunately then he started to accuse all Real Americans of being wimps for canceling school because of an inch of snow. Hey, Obama! I am no wimp! I live in Colorado, and our weather is much more worst than your damn Chicago snowy weather, your weather is nothing but a corrupt mobster with a beaver as a toupee…!

…what?…

He only accused Washington of being a town of wimps?… oh, well never mind. The whole town are a bunch of wimpy whiners I will give him that…

wait, did he just say that a little girl has more balls than the whole town of Washington combined?…

PETA releases new pr0n video: Sex with Veggies
“Too sexy for my stomach,” claims beef industry

'''America. January 27, 2009''' - Nation, the veggie-lovers meat-haters hippies from PETA are doing it again. This time they are trying to corrupt our children and confuse our stomachs with "too sexy" videos involving hot women and vegetables. Now, everyone knows that I love sex pr0n meat and I like my burger to have been alive at some point in time, possibly a cow that was once chewing grass in its feeble innocence unaware of its impending doom.

Well, the animal-lovers-meat-haters-veggie-whores hippies want to release a new ad Veggiality Pr0n video to convert the rest of America into vegetable-lovers so they can stop us from eating meat… what’s wrong PETA? Bestialiy was too strong for you?

I am sorry, but the only ad pr0n video that I want to see better involve a chick eating a hot dog, chicken thighs, or maybe a horse’s … not some carrots, or cucumbers or a salad… that's just wrong and confuses the hell out of me... plus no one wants to see some video of a woman eating food in a sexy manner…

The Veggiality video will be released under the title of "Veggie Tails: Women love big carrots and cucumbers"...

Now if you can excuse me, I have to buy some groceries... suddenly I am hungry... and aroused

Are you Smarter than A Celebrity?
Fox: Greatest Show Game Ever

'''America. January 27, 2009''' - Nation, one of our most beloved political commentator have been challenged into one of those show contest to demonstrate their smartiness to the Nation. Of course, Papa Bear is no fool, and he is smart enough to crush anyone who dares to question him… which is why Papa Bear was challenged by some ditzy whore from Hollywood in a match of smartiness and a free coupon to ‘Six Flags’.

In an impressive match, Bill O’Reilly lost the contest won the game!!! Take that Hollywood elite liberals! TMZ, a very serious publishing industry, has called the liberal whore, very very very dumb and she should leave the country soon…

In other news the country's economy is still collapsing and soon Western Civilization will fail Bill O'Reilly Won!! Hollywood Whore Elite Zero!!!!

The mooslim president will unveil new plan to save destroy economy
Rush Limbaugh bows to destroy America Obama

'''Islamofacist States of America. January 27, 2009''' - While Obama continues to tease us about his “Stimulus Package”, for days we have been wondering, “How big is it?” “Will it be ‘hard’ or ‘soft’ on the American public?” “Can we get it (the economy) up for long?”, etc… luckily we were able to attain some information as to how the new package will look like and how will it work. So far many Republicans are not happy with it…

Rumor has it that some racists Real Americans have speculated that the “Stimulus Package” is more like a drug vaccine to stop the hemorrhaging of this economy. So Obama will be selling the vaccine to the American public. Obama will keep 90% of the profits, the government keeps 9%, and the rest goes to the public… which many Republicans are unhappy with it, they want a bigger cut and a Congressional Page to go with it.

“Typical black man democrat, he wants to toss money to the problem,” claimed a Republican senator, “What we need to do is to cut off the budget from unnecessary services, and let the market decide how to fix the economy… which is why we should give more bailout money to banks and corporations. Rich people know how to make money, not the government.”

“What do you expect from a liberal? There are not enough tax cuts in here! How am I supposed to buy me a new Corporate Jet if I can’t afford one? The American people wants… no... it needs to have their own corporate/private jets!! And we should make it so! Give the rich us tax cuts, so that everyone can afford one!” claimed a CEO from some bank…

“Obama is a fool… The Greatest Ex-President Ever gave us tax cuts for eight years and that worked just fine. We need more tax cuts!!! Otherwise our nation’s economy will tank!” claimed a long life Republican.

Because many Rich White Men Real Americans are unhappy of the Obama’s plan, a new group has been formed to save what is left of the economy. The group is called “RBACA” (Robber Barons Anti-Choice Association), and many believe that the Obama’s administration will destroy Capitalism forever unless drastic measures are taken to stop the mooslim president.

We got to interview Bernie Marcus, the charismatic co-founder of Home Depot ''“This is the demise of a civilization," said Marcus. "This is how a civilization disappears. I am sitting here as an elder statesman and I'm watching this happen and I don't believe it.” (actual quote)''

According with many Rich White Men Real Americans, Obama is creating a “Welfare Nation” and it is out of control, “You don’t just toss money to people and hope things will get better. What kind of fool does that? NEVER GIVE AWAY MONEY… but bailouts are ok…” shouted Bernie Marcus.


 * UPDATE:: Republican Majority Minority have expressed concerns on the "Economic Package", and they decided they will not capitulate to the mooslim president just because he is the president. "Who the hell he think he is?" exclaimed House Majority Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH)

GOP takes long vacation
Karl Rove plans to conquer Canada Neo-America

'''Islamic States of America. January 27, 2009''' - While the liberal gay-loving bear-cuddling hippies plan to save destroy the American economy, many Republicans that lost their senate seat that were cheated from this election, have decided to take a long vacation. But it is not over yet, some Real Americans have shown interest in sabotaging salvaging this nation to the best of their knowledge, before it is too late…

The Greatest Mavericktrix Ever will spend some time hunting moose and bears in Alaska, and will also be getting ready for the Bear uprising, which is why she is funding a new Secret Organization to destroy America traitors and mooslims. Good luck hot lady!!

Karl Rove is planning to run away spend some time overseas, The Greatest Architect Ever wants to take a rest, after a difficult presidency a boring and a set of uninteresting events that we dont need to talk about it. When asked where was he going and why the rush to leave town, he replied “ I don’t want to end up like Michael Connell I won a vacation to “Death Island” “Paradise Island”!!!”

Nation, while the GOP takes its deserved vacation, we need to work together. We can destroy save America once again!!


 * UPDATE: Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, will also take a long break overseas, he will probably accompany Karl Rove to "Death Island" "Paradise Island".

SHOCKING NEWS!!!!: Mooslim president first interview with Terrorist Network
Obama’s new anti-american video is a hit!

'''Islamofacist States of America. January 26, 2009''' - Nation, this mooslim president has crossed the line. Not only does he still insist that he is the 44th President (Hey, liberals! Why do you hate Yo-Yo Ma!), but he was seeing being interviewed by an Arab TV Network known terrorist organization. Mr. so-called-president, you say you are not a mooslim, yet why is it that you were seeing speaking with Arabs? Yet for some reason the hippie bear-loving liberals are feigning ignorance about the whole thing…

Here is an excerpt from that interview:

Q: Mr. President, thank you for this opportunity, we really appreciate it.

The mooslim president: DEATH TO AMERICA!!!

Q: Sir, you just met with your personal envoy to the Middle East, Senator Mitchell. Obviously, his first task is to consolidate the cease-fire. But beyond that you've been saying that you want to pursue actively and aggressively peacemaking between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Tell us a little bit about how do you see your personal role, because, you know, if the President of the United States is not involved, nothing happens -- as the history of peacemaking shows. Will you be proposing ideas, pitching proposals, parameters, as one of your predecessors did? Or just urging the parties to come up with their own resolutions, as your immediate predecessor did?

The mooslim president: DEATH TO ISRAEL!!!

The rest of the interview is just the same. Also the mooslim president acknowledges that he has mooslim terrorist family members and friends.

Rush Limbaugh’s Freedom of Hate Speech Threatened
GOP: Democrats are not playing fair

''' Asswh*letown America. January 26, 2009''' - Nation, the GOP is in trouble, and many Republicans American traitors are either running for the hills or converting to Islam to please the new mooslim master. Because of this reason, Rush Limbaugh is taking the fight against these un-american traitors. But instead, our beloved Limbaugh has been threatened and his freedom of speech taken away.

All he did was argue that if the Democrats succeed the GOP will loose all credibility and loose all electoral chances for decades we will become a nation of sissified gay loving bear-lovers liberals and God hates that. Do you want to piss off God? Of course not!

News From The West American Front: Polar Bears invade England, Librarians are still hiding something™
Why isn’t the mooslim president doing something?

'''Islamic States of America. January 26, 2009''' - It hasn’t been more than a month and we have already seeing bear sightings over the world, one of the most disturbing one is none other from England. According with our British associates, an army of Polar Bears has invaded the tea-sucking land of the British. The Polar Bear Army has already established a beachhead in the Tames River and they will soon replace the Queen with their own QILF (Queen I like to F**k). We suspect that there will future bear sightings all over Europe. According with the Pentagon, Europe will fall under the bears in less than a week…

But not everything is bad news. Meanwhile in America, we are winning The War on Literature. Soon children under 12 will be banned from libraries so they can be protected from the toxic waste known as “knowledge”… for many years we have been wondering what are librarians hiding™… and guess what! They were hiding this toxic venom on their books!

Librarians, before The Greatest President Ever left, he made a law, and that law must be enforced. So start banning those kids from your libraries or else!

Ohio Vs Kentucky: A Fearsome Custody Battle
Somebody please think of the pebbles!

''' Ohio Kentucky Somewhere in the US. January 26, 2009''' - Mr. Kentucky and Mrs. Ohio had been married for many decades, but their marriage have always been rocky and questionable, and while both of them went to marriage counseling, it was doom to fail from the beginning. Mrs. Ohio has always been a liberal bear-loving hippie and now recently found to be a lezzie, and Mr. Kentucky was a Real American red blooded gun loving God fearing patriot, the only reason they staid together was because of the child… However, because of an embarrassment affair, the marriage was terminated and that has caused one of the most devastating custody battle…

According with rumors Mr. Kentucky found Mrs. Ohio in a foursome with Ms. Indiana (she claims she was “experimenting”), the Michigan twins (they count as one, since only one of them is a hottie and the other is a fugly), that Pennsylvania whore, and West Virginia who claims was drunk and doesn’t remember anything…

Mrs. Ohio will keep the beach house, the drug money, and part of the Ohio River, while Mr. Kentucky will keep his barrels of liquor, his fried chicken, and the rest of the Ohio river (the crappy parts). “It was not an easy divorce… pretty messy… the Only Reason that Mrs. Ohio is keeping the good stuff, is because Mr. Kentucky failed to get an annulment… poor fellow” claimed Mr. Kentucky’s lawyer.

But the divorce case is not over yet; the real problem has just started. According with officials, there is a nasty custody battle over the offspring of Mr. Kentucky and Mrs. Ohio. Their child, “Indian Head Rock” (also known as “Charlie”), is being drag into the courts. Mr. Kentucky claims that his child shouldn’t be raised under the roof of his lesbian mother, “That whore will fill his head with gay liberal agenda and grow up to be a sissified liberal kid… over my dead body!” claimed Mr. Kentucky.

But the problem doesn’t end there, according with Mrs. Ohio, “Charlie” is not actually his offspring… “To tell you the truth, I don’t know who the real father is…” claimed Mrs. Ohio, she explains that she slept with a lot of men and women during her youth. According with Mrs. Ohio's foggy memory, there is one possible candidate to be the father. She claims that she had a drunken one night stand orgy with a Mr. ACE (Army Corps of Engineers) and a few army ladies… and Mr. ACE now wants his child back…

One would think that would be the end of it, but a few days later another man has claimed to be the father of the rock, none other than a Mr. Charles Monroe Schulz (his pals know him as Penuts)… “Look, that rock clearly looks like me… that’s clearly my son!”

We don’t know how many lovers did Mrs. Ohio had, but she certainly is a whore…

Blajagoffwitch Signs New Movie Deal
Blagojakassvich: Aliens are trying to anally probe me!

''' Faeryland Chicago, IL. January 23, 2009''' - The Maverick Governor of Illinois has decided to release a film that tells it all: the corruption of his fellow democrats, the conspiracy to overthrow the GOP and install a mooslim dictator, and the story of an intrepid and maverick governor confronting the Washington establishment to bring back the GOP back in power freedom and liberty.

Wikiality has not seeing the movie yet, but if the previous of what we have witnessed over the past few days are a hint of what is yet to come, then we cannot wait to see how this sh!t will go about it we will witness how this drama will unfold… we hope it will win many Oscars…

Jim Carrey will play the part of the Blagosuksassvitch, the intrepid and maverick governor. Also, there is a rumor that Blago’s black friend, Roland Burris, will be played by Samuel Jackson.



Un-American News: Japanese wants to Gay Marry Obama
new Obama hentai videos will be released soon…

'''Animeland, Japan. January 23, 2009''' - Nation, we bring you disturbing news. As you know the Japanese people have the nasty habit of “borrowing” things from the west and then turned it into ‘cooler’ stuff that we later regret for not thinking up first. Well, the Japanese government have decided to “borrow” Obamania and turned it upside down!

People are taking things like “Hope” and “Cool” into their laboratories to create what we suspect is Obama 3.0, an automaton sentient android that could take over the world and turn it into a “liberalz paradize”. If you thought one Obama was bad, imagine an army of Obamas bringing hope, peace, prosperity, and education to the entire world, turning us all into sissified bear-loving hippie liberals… the horror!!

Nation, we cannot let the Japanese take “Obama” into their hands, who knows what else could they turned into? They even took Obama's speeches and turned into learning books, making English cooler again, after the botched incident of George Bush’s book “Lurning Engrigh with Dubya”.

Whats next? Obama Snacks with eel flavor? Obama burgers with hope sauce? An Obamabot with ass kicking katanas?… wait, they are already working on it?… Obamania is already driving the Japanese market like crazy! If we are not careful America will be next! too late…

My point is, that the Japanese have already taken Henry Ford’s cars and turned into fuel efficient killing machines against our poor fat American cars, they have taken our computers and video games and turned into profit turning machines, and even cartoons and comic books, which are an American invention, have been turned into “Anime” and “Manga”… where will it end?



SHOCKING NEWS: MOOSLIM PRESIDENT DOES PERVERTED THINGS WITH WIFE!!!!
Someone please think of thechildren!!

'''Foxnews!! January 21, 2009''' - Nation, the intrepid reporters from Fox News have found shocking evidence that our new mooslim president is a secret deviant and a pervert!! What do you expect? He is a democrat... The following footage is considered to be graphic of the sexual nature, if you have children, please escort them out of the room, if you have no children, get a box of tissues and some baby lotion…

Rush Limbaugh: I Hope America Obama Fails
 Rich White A$$holes conservatives join the fight

'''Jagofftown, USA. January 21, 2009''' - Nation, one of our most beloved figures, Mr. Limbaugh, is being attacked again by the drive-by shooting liberal media. All he ever did was to wish the mooslim president good luck and that he HOPES for him that he fails. I thought Obama was all up with Hope and all that. Was wrong with you people? Don’t you see that Mr. Limbaugh is innocently HOPING that the GOP will be able to regain back their rightful place, by HOPING that the mooslim president will fail… otherwise there is no more HOPE for Real Americans like us. You hippie bear-loving liberals are suppressing HOPE, the HOPE for Obama to fail, the HOPE that the GOP will be back in power forever.

Plus, wasn’t the liberal media HOPING for The Greatest President Ever to fail when he took office 8 years ago? Thanks guys, this is your entire fault then!! Who really is to blame now, liberal media? Mr. Limbaugh knows what he is doing, so stop accusing him of being un-american…

Now that Obama is in charge, we should start writing down his legacy as The Worst Mooslim President EVER!

America Gets New Mooslim President: PRAISE ALLAH!!!
Real Americans migrate to Canada Neo America

''' White House Hussein’s Mooslim House. January 20, 2009''' - Well, Nation. America has officially swore in a black mooslim president and he gave his corny speech “Death To America Speech” to finalize the day.

The good news is that Obama botched his oath a little, so maybe we can swear in Palin as soon as the courts agree that he is not the real president, even though constitutionally he is automatically the president without the oath.

Nation, don’t worry I wont covert to Islam and gay marry my neighbor just because of this day. We the people will continue the good fight against this mooslim tyrant until Palin is our New The Greatest Maverickness and President Ever!!

…now, does anyone know how to read those weird squiggly lines in this weird Koran book?…



Post Your Job!!
because we need the money…

January 19, 2009 - Nation, times are though the fundamentals of our economy are still strong, but we are out cash. Which is why we have decided to put a classified section, we are even posting peoples resumes, for a fee… oh, look! Looks like we have someone desperate in need. Name: Bushie “Yesman” Brownnose.

Previous Occupation: White House lackey Assistant.

Education: church and home schooled University of Higher Faith

Hello Sir /Madam. I hope I will be able to join your marvelous presidential administration political office  corporation  investment firm  law firm  bank fast food restaurant. I bring years/decades of experience and I promise you that you will find no other loyal slave worker among the ignorant masses plethora of entrepreneurial minds.

Experience:

I have been for many years under the employment of Mr. Bush The Excellency Mr. Dick Cheney, and I can assure you he will vouch for my years of excellent services.

One of my many jobs in my previous employment has been to keep facts and truths lies and fabrications away from the ears of my employer Mr. Bush so it wont confuse and distract him. I am aware that leaders/management requires silence and time to contemplate the many stressful decisions of everyday life, and it was my duty to maintain the status quo.

I was also there to assist in the service and the improvement of morale in the office and also to strike his ego reaffirm Mr. Bush’s confidence in times of difficulties and need. You could say that I gave him overconfidence like the time I told him Katrina was not his fault, it was the liberals fault that unforeseeable events took place beyond his control.

I was also an integral member that partook in the sabotaged, ridicule, and endangered debated and cordially disagreement of Mrs. Wilson's husband a formidable opponent as well as other individuals but I would rather not go into details.

I have many years of experience in dealing and digging up dirty secrets and blackmailing the opposition as well as bullying the liberal media resorting with opposing views and arguments in which I was able to negotiate compromises and agreements. Also I am good at hiding bodies of dead hookers when needed I have experience in other areas of expertise, such as in dealing with the sensitive nature of an employer.

SO PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! I thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you in the future.

List of References:

George W. Bush, The Greatest President Ever: You could say that I was the third most influential man in the office! I gave the man most of my ideas and advices, mostly financial advices, cant wait for my Bears and Sterns share of profits!!

Senator Ted Stevens: I was one of his many assistants before my tenure in the White House, and the one who helped him remodel his house.

Alberto Gonzales: I assisted Mr. Gonzales in getting rid of some undesirable elements in the Department of Justice, no matter what.

Bernie Madoff: Prior to politics, I worked in the financial sector with Mr. Madoff. I cannot wait to see my share of profits after working with Mr. Bush.

Mark Foley: You could say he was my mentor when I worked as his personal congressional page during my teenage summers before and after high school.

Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby: I was the one that “helped” Mr. Libby during his trouble times.

Duke Cunningham: I was the personal assistant of Mr. Cunningham for many years. He is one of the most honest man that I ever work with.

Larry Craig: I did a lot of things for this man… lot of things… This man will vouch for me that I am willing to do anything to assist The Man. I served at the “pleasure” of his office.

My Dad

The People Behind The Greatest Presidency Ever
Thank you for destroying bettering this Nation

'''White House. January 17, 2009''' - As the last days of The Greatest President Ever comes to an end, we should remind all Real Americans that they should be thanking the people behind The Greatest Presidency Ever, for making this The Greatest Presidency Ever in Human History!!

Here is a sample of these loyal bushies. Imagine what would the Presidency would look like without them... perish the thought...


 * Dick Cheney: The Greatest Vice-President Ever. There is nothing more to be said, history will remember him to be the greatest Sith Lord man on history, after Bush, of course…


 * Karl Rove: This spawn of Satan This sweet Angel has been called the brains behind the Presidency, if he is the Brain then Bush is the heart!


 * Alberto Gonzales: I don’t recall much about this guy, something about chasing out bear-loving hippies from the Department of Justice, and something about making a comatose old man sign some papers… a good loyal bushie, enough said…


 * Donald Rumsfeld: according with Cheney he is "the finest Secretary of Defense this nation has ever had.", and if Cheney says so, it must be true…


 * Michael Brown: Two words, “Heck of a Job Brownie”… or was it three words?… anyway he is the guy that kicked that Lady Katrina’s butt…


 * Paul Wolfowitz: He helped us liberate Iraq with the right number of troops, way to go!


 * David Addington: Cheney’s minime…

But, because the list of the names is so long (Almost 50!), I decided to provide a link for the rest of the names. Just ignore the liberal reality-base bias…

Give Thanks to these scumbags bushies, you all did a heck of a job!

The Greatest Gift Ever is Here!!
Get them while they are HOT!!!

'''White House. January 16, 2009''' - People of Wikiality, I got some fantastic news!! The Greatest President Ever is selling granting Official Presidential Pardons!! Just like the Popes when they sell give their indulgences to sinners to fill up the coffers save their eternal soul, The Greatest President Ever is emulating their practice as a good Christian should… Not that we are saying that The Greatest President Ever is the Pope, but wouldn’t it be cool if he was? The Greatest President AND Pope Ever has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?



EMERGENCY NEWS: DOUGHNUTS ARE THE DEVIL’S CAKE!!




Police eagerly confiscate all doughnuts in America

'''Liberalwhoretown! un-america. January 16, 2009''' - Nation! We just received terrible news from a very reliable source. According to this source, doughnuts are actually the devil’s food; it is a secret gay-liberal Confection of Mass Destruction!! The Doughnut is their secret weapon to turn all Real Americans gay and then get daily abortions against their will!!

“What people don’t realize is that gays and happy-go-lucky abortionists are actually witches, they put their gay-abortionist magic into the doughnuts and this way they will convert all of us into liberals and make us want to gay marry each other or abort our babies, sometimes both at the same time!” claimed a crazy bitch Katie Walker, the senior correspondent and gay-baby-abortionist-witch expert.

However, gays and liberals could have not confected this devious plan alone. America, they got help! You probably wonder from whom did the gay bear-loving liberals got the funds and the resources to set up this devious plan, none other than “Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc.”, one of the most evil, gayest, and liberal organization on America!! We believe this is the Gaysrael for fat gay people, and they must be stopped! Someone needs to put them out of business!

Nation, this is a problem. According with our statistics there are thousands of doughnut shops in America! Not only that, but Real Americans consume millions of doughnuts each year! We must eradicate this danger before is too late!

BOYCOTT THE GAY DOUGHNUTS!!!

Nation, write to Katie Walker, and tell her she is doing a wonderful job in protecting America against the ebil gay Doughnuts!

contact Katie Walker!

...now I better get ready... WOW free doughnuts!!... more for me...

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