Toilet

A Toilet is a device used to dispose of all the naughtiness and evil from the human body. God-fearing American's only use toilets when absolutely necessary. However, drunks often spend hours gazing lovingly into toilets, probably looking for their dignity or upper intestines.

Trivia

 * Stephen Colbert is so God-fearing and patriotic that he does not need to use the toilet.
 * Toilets lead straight down to Hell, which is filled with murderers, liberals, rapists, and dead goldfish.