Nebraska

Nebraska, otherwise known as the land of corn and huskers, is firmly in what is known as the "heartland" of America, directly next to the left ventricle. Citizens of the state spend their days watching football and husking corn. Most importantly, them cornhuskers don't hate America.

Discovery
Nebraska was discovered in 1869 when they also discovered football.

History
The only history worth knowing is Nebraska has 5 National Championships in football: 1970, 1971, 1994, 1995, and 1997. Nebraska hates Michigan for stealing half of the 1997 National Championship.

Achieving Statehood
Nebraska was awarded statehood by the United States of America after defeating Mexico in the Spanish-American-French-Indian-Canadian Civil War.

Nebraska Today
Much of the state was purchased in 1992 by Ted Turner who plans to use bison grown there in his devious attack plans.

Nebraska is the only bisexual state in the United States. It always goes both ways during election time. Nebraska is the only state that allows for a split in the electoral vote. Since 1991, two of Nebraska's five electoral votes are awarded based on the winner of the statewide election while the other three go to the highest vote-getter in each of the state's three congressional districts. This fact was later embraced by Nebraska in a tourism slogan that said, "Nebraska, We Go Both Ways."

Nebraska Landmarks
Memorial Stadium, Corn Fields, Bars, More Bars, Even More Bars, The Czech Days Beer Garden at Randy's Bar in Wilber

Famous Nebraskans
Nebraska is the birth place of many famous individuals, the two most prominent being William Jenings Bryan and James Sterling Morton. Yes, where would the United States be without a man who lost a presidential election (because he was a Democrat) and the man who founded Arbor Day (because trees were his only friends.

Others include (but are not limited to):
 * Chief Standing Bear - person who convinced US courts that Native Americans were people
 * Warren Buffett - rich guy
 * Alex Gordon - MLB player for struggling Royals
 * Richard Cheney - Dick
 * Stephen Colbert - (born in every American state)
 * Gerald Ford - Notable for being the only U.S. President to never be elected.
 * Ben Nelson - Nebraska Democrat (But secretly a closet republican and more of a republican than the Nebraska Republican representative Chuck Hagel)
 * Chuck Hagel - Nebraska Republican (means leans the right way automatically)

A Typical Day in Nebraska
Sucks...but is infinitely better than being a Colorado Buffaloes fan. However, the Nebraskans spend indefinatly many hours working in corn fields and creating more areas of land fit to grow corn. They love beef. The smell of cow dung is, as a Nebraskan puts it, "the smell of money."

Nebraskans are also known to throw great tailgating parties and love to drink. On the weekends every Nebraskan goes out drinking and by Saturday evenening everyone is fully drunk and they form groups to go out and burn down liberal run school houses.