Bearyness

Many think Orthodox and Hasidic Jews wear beards because of the Torah ordinances. However, this is not true! The Talmud says Rabbis are God due to winning an argument with him and they don't even need to wear beards because of the Talmud! So why, you ask, do they wear beards? To show their clear Bear Heritage and chutzpah, thats why! Karl Marx, despite being an atheist did the same!