Cross of Truthiness

Colbertians 10:34-37-"Think not I come to send funniness on earth. I came not to send funniness, but a sword. For I come to set Daily Show watchers at variance with heroes (Colbert Report watchers), Democrat against Republican, Colmes against Hannity. He that loveth Jon Stewart more than me is not a hero. And he that taketh not his cross of truthiness and come after me, is not worthy of being a Truthiness Crusader!"

Every man must take up thy cross and give thy life for the way, the truthiness and the light Jesus. You may ask: well, what does it mean to take up thy cross of truthiness? The words of Godfrey of Ibelin I say unto you: it means being without fear in the face of thine enemies. Being brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truthiness always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the poor persecuted Republicans and do no wrong; that is your oath. [Slaps Ballsian] And that is so you remember it."