Chinatown

A nice neighborhood in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, for teens to buy fireworks, switchblades (and other assorted exotic weapons), view weird, live porn, and get mugged by the Wu-Tang Clan.


 * Located on the map next to Toontown.

Chinatown History
After being exploited gainfully employed to build America's vast railroad network in the mid 19th century and being worth too little to sell as slaves employ in other professions. The Chinese were deported relocated to Concentration Camps beautiful Ethnic-American villages, called Chink Camps Chinatowns.

Chinatown Today

 * Who cares, why would Stephen Colbert go there?

Chinatown Landmarks

 * Opium Dens
 * Live octopus bars
 * Slave Markets
 * Massage Parlors
 * By the hour Roach Motels
 * Dumpsters full of dead bodies.
 * Kung Fu Dojos
 * Whorehouses
 * The "No Tickee" Laundry and Nail Salon
 * Pool Halls

Exotic Dishes Found Only In Chinatown

 * shark penis
 * octopus tentacles

Businesses Found In Chinatown

 * fortune teller
 * laundromat

Famous People From Chinatown

 * Charlie Chan
 * And his Number One Son
 * Hop Sing
 * Jack Nicholson
 * Kato Kalin (Green Hornet's houseboy, hired after he lost his job with The Juice)
 * Wu-Tang Clan
 * David Carradine
 * Mike Hammer

A Typical Day In Chinatown

 * Getting your nostril lacerated by thug with switchblade.
 * Being mugged.
 * Getting food poisioning.
 * Catching an STD.
 * Being murdered.

Strange Customs in Chinatown

 * It is polite to burp after eating a big plate of dog.
 * It is acceptable to "re-eat" your live octopus after it climbs back out of your throat.
 * Checking under a prostitutes skirt to determine true gender prior to payment, is considered "good form."