Shopping

Shopping is an activity which is every patriotic American's duty, as our great President made clear after September 11. Patriotic shoppers should however remember not to shop at any stores which refuse to say, "Merry Christmas". Shopping makes Jesus happy, provided it is done at a store which is not run by godless atheists If you hear "Happy Holidays", one of the primary weapons in The War on Christmas, leave immediately and go to another store which does not hate Jesus.

If you happen to see any Menorah's or a Star of David, feel free to continue shopping, as long as the store retains its Christmas greeting and Christmas decorations. Jews, after all, are almost Christians. Which, of course, they will become after the return of Our Lord and Savior.

If you hear of see any silly Kwanza nonsense (no offense to our black friends, leave immediately. Christmas shoppingis not a time for bongo drums, vodoo dolls or pagan harvest festivals.