Daily Poll

September 26, 2007
Homo points, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, gay, homo research provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer Iran's President Ahmadinejad visited our country and through the mercy of The Greatest President was allowed to dress like Barack Obama and look upon the hottest college babes in the world at Columbia University. To turn them on, he spoke about: How no Iranian men are homos. Persian words for harem. Persian words for lesbian. How gay the Jew claims are about the Holocaust.

September 25, 2007
Bear points, education, David Vitter, bears Forest rangers are killing more black bears than ever! This gigantic success is due to: Global warming causing bears to move to new territory. Overpopulation of the rich in Wyoming. Bears addicted to Halo 3. David Vitter committing tax money to combat animal science. Dr. Stephen Colbert's ongoing and generous public awareness program.

September 24, 2007
Petraeus points, Betrayed, hippies, General Petraeus At last, the Senate showed some balls last Friday and condemned some liberals that hate the troops. We can support them by: Signing a petition to end the war. Draw comics that mock General Petraeus's loyalty to The Greatest President. Youtubing hippie hangings. Offer Canadian money for each dead MoveOn member.

Forgiveness
Security points, Private enterprise, Blackwater The Iraq government corrected their previous accusations against Blackwater USA and will not force them out of the country because: They can't. Iraqi government officials are protected by them. The troops would still kick their butts. They have no balls.

Punishment
Granny points, tourist stalls, Larry Craig The USA continues to show the rest of the world how to properly punish the immoral by: Sentencing a grandma and mom to jail for prostitution. Giving Senator Larry Craig a trial. Shooting Iraqis that don't pray to Jesus. Keeping enemy combatants alive on a beach in Cuba.

September 20, 2007
Obscure numbering notes, brought to you by Condemner in Chief WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer What is the best way to measure the success of The Greatest Administration Ever's economic policies: housing market the stock market redneck celebrities nude on the Internets Colbert Platinum Canadian dollar equality with the US dollar

September 19, 2007
Police points, Blackwater justice, Weapons, Kerry crying, hot Florida action, Blackwater In response to book readers crying about some student eating taser, the University of Florida's response should be to: Fire the cops. Buy surplus weapons from Iraq. Flunk the student. Arrest the students that videoed the event. Hire Blackwater USA to manage their campus.

September 18, 2007
Polite speaking points, Thatchers, Tony Bennett, The Lord, censorship Whining liberals are having a fit over Sally Field or Struthers or some thatcherless sodomite being censored for taking the Lord's name in vain. The real problem with the Emmy's was: Fox didn't get to award Rupert Murdoch for taking over The Wall Street Journal. Tony Bennett was given Stephen Colbert's Emmy. They didn't introduce Barry Manilow Beeyotchslap Award. Stephen Colbert's beeping at Tony Bennett was censored.

September 17, 2007
Oily points, Alan Greenspan, Federal Reserve, Iraq, Constitution, The Filter, Constitution date checking provided by WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer America's Constitution was ratified on September 17th the year Jesus was born. Instead of shopping, former greatest Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has chosen to celebrate with lies by: Using books and The Filter. Claiming Operation Iraqi Freedom was for oil. Claiming Operation Iraqi Freedom is a war. Suggesting President Bush's economic policy is NOT conservative. Suggesting President Bush's economic policy is NOT the best ever. Forgetting the tragedy of September 11th.

September 16, 2007
50 points, OJ scores, Fox, Sheik killer seized, West Nile At last, we have some good news again. 50 Cent is defending Britney and OJ has been arrested again, also Canadians are busy on a Fox run. If only liberals could: Go on a ball run. Defend their President. Celebrate the capture of the Sunni Sheik killer. Celebrate the mosquitos that have liberated West Nile.

September 15, 2007
Economic points, Alan Greenspan, books, The Greatest President No more teachers, no more books, no more liberals' dirty looks. That's the way a weekend is suppose to work, not: Alan Greenspan saying Bill Clinton was the most intelligent President. Greenspan saying Republicans 'lack fiscal discipline'. Greenspan writing a book. Greenspan criticizing tax cuts. Greenspan questioning President Bush.

September 14, 2007
Video points, Limited progress, Mission Accomplished Our Glorious President, The Greatest President, gave a glorious speech last night, reminding us of the incredible progress we've made in Iraq, from Mission Accomplished to the 4 year reunion surge, we can all agree: The surge needs more time. We've made incredible progress. A timetable for withdrawal gives our enemies hope. Iraq has made limited progress toward its goals. We must support the troops. The progress in Iraq has been the greatest accomplishment in freedom ever.

September 13, 2007
President Bush speech day, polls closed, Supreme Court rules they stay closed.

Rememberiness
Rescue points, Lessons learnt, The Greatest President Ever, Rudy Giuliani As the Greatest President Ever and Rudy Guiliani have shown, the best way to continue remembering 9/11 is: Taking vacation. Watching New York Yankees baseball games. Flying a lot to photo ops. Using it to stay another 6 months in Iraq.

Always Rememberating
Forgetting points, 9/11 champions, Larry Craig, 9/11, War on Terror Republican Senator Larry Craig has kept the spirit of September the 11th alive by fighting his arrest by liberal aiport security. Flyers today should: Kick airport security personnel in the hindquarters. Panic and plea. Flick off every fireman they see. Kick a liberal in the balls/thatchers. Drill a glory hole in an airport bathroom stall.

Pre-Rememberating
9/11 score, 9/11 points, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, 9/11 memories provided by Senior Analyst WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer  Isn't every day an anniversary of Sept. 11? The War on Terrorism never stops for Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson. As strong Republicans, they commemorate each day by: Covering themselves in asbestos. Calling Bernie Kerik to talk about how lucky they are to have President George W. Bush. Speaking to the New York City firefighters and police over their radios. Considering how much worse it could have been if the plane drivers had Saddam's WMDs. 

Archives
Poll Archives