Wikinazi



Yes, we all know the type. The hot-headed Mod or Admin that blocks users just for "editing" the "facts". So what if we want to change reality to make it more suitable for us? If I choose to believe that the elephant population has tripled in the past ten years, that's my choice. If I choose to believe that kitchen sinks are actually portals to bears' underground lairs, that's just fine. If I choose to believe that Stephen Colbert is a sex god (which he IS, by the way), then that's okay, too.

But no, these Wikinazis want the "so-called truth". They want their "facts" and "information". Well you know what? They need some "gut". That's right. Gut. Good, old-fashioned, Star-Spangled, gut. That's where the real truth comes from, not books, or the internets. Cause it takes no guts to ban a user on Wikipedia over the internets. To "block" their IP. In fact, my gut tells me it's plain lily-livered, yellow-bellied cowardice.

I say, if you really don't want me there making the world a better place, why don't you come over to my house and MAKE me stop. Go outside and cut my cables. Oh, that's right. You can't handle the sunlight. "My eyes, my eyes!" you would cry if you even tried. And since you can't, you're just hiding behind your LED screens somewhere in California's 50th, telling me I'm wrong. And let's face it, if you're in California's 50th, how could you possibly know whats wrong? You never existed.

Specific WikiAdmins



 * DragonFlySixtySeven - Role: Admin - Yes my friends, this is one evil Canadian communist. He bans ANYONE with a Colbert fan name on sight. He doesn't even wait for you to make one reality adjustment. Apparently he hates himself SO MUCH, that he can't stand to see us make the world better. For shame...
 * Yamla - Role: Admin - "Your chosen username implies that you plan on truthifying the Wikipedia. As such, it is an unacceptable username. Sorry, we have spent hundreds of hours fixing Colbert vandalism and don't have a high opinion of the hijinx." Hmm, "vandalism", "hijinx"? Looks like someone wants to look smart. This evil Admin loves nothing more than to kill Truthiness. S/he should be avoided at all costs.
 * Tawker: Role: Admin - This wikiadmin, in one horrifyingly cowardly move, actually blocked an impostor of the Eagle of Truth, Stephen Colbert himself, from editing Wikipedia, and then actually bragged about it on his wikifascist blog! Not only that, but he then demanded that Stephen provide him with roundtrip airfare and a spot on The Report, as if he deserved to even be on the same Earth as Our Glorious Stephen.  And, to top it all off, he even established his very own user account on Our Glorious Website and claimed to have never existed.  In perhaps the truthiest moment of his life, this Mindless Blocking Machine declared himself what we already knew him to be: Dead to Us.
 * In a little known fact, Tawker actually made this post as a direct parody of His Colbertness, in an attempt to use his meager means to make the Colbert Nation as well as the Eagle himself laugh.


 * Jossi::Role: Admin - This incredibly annoying wikinazi will block you within three seconds of finding vandalism. So what if you said the Democratic Party's HQ is in Hell, Michigan and they're Satanist? It's part of the essence of wikiality: "A reality where, if enough people agree with a notion, it becomes the truth.".

How to Fight Back!
So, how do Real Americans combat the new-age Factonistas? As a public service for its users, Wikiality.com has compiled a list of some truthy methods for fighting The Man (in his generally less-than-manly Wikinazi form):

1. Unblock yourself. - Yes, this apparently works. Just edit your talk page asking in the proper format to be unblocked and then you will get the option to actually unblock yourself. Sure, the page clearly states that "You should NOT unblock yourself". Well, Whoop-de-doo. What are they gonna do? Block you?

2. Email the Admins - Just continuously flood them with reasons that you are right and they are wrong. Don't forget to throw in how much smarter and better looking than them you are. They will eventually see the error of their ways.

3. Post at Wikiality.com instead! It's far truthier, and there are no Wikinazis here. Just be sure that you're not posting vanity, randomness, or crap. And never, never, never vandalize a page, or the Admins will block your user account without giving you a second thought. Also, no Jews allowed.

Wikipedia's Final Solution
We hold dear to our guts these wikipedia pages, which were earmarked for speedy deletion by the Wikinazis. We'll never know what the pages said, but we feel that they were truthy. And of course, we salute those fallen heroes who were so unfairly and harshly blocked, sometimes merely because their username sounded vaguely Colbertish.