User:Alexfreedom

NAUGHTY BACON

 * 1)  Aparently, Stephen Colbert's favorite breakfast meat has been getting a bit too frisky.  Yes, I am talkin about strips of salted and smoked meat from the back and sides of a pig otherwise known as bacon. [[Image:Bacon.jpg|left|thumb|133px|Bacon: your breakfast whore?]]
 * 2)  1.  Bacon used to be like a pruned lady.  You use to have to kill a pig and slice its back into pieces to get some.  Figuratively speaking of course.
 * 3)  2.  Then butchers decided to sell bacon like hookers on the street inside of thier deli's, or as i like to call skankli's.
 * 4)  3.  Then bacon started hangin 'round grocie stores, which I call the food whore store.
 * 5)  4.  After that, bacon started selling itself with lettuce and tomato between two soft buns in fastfood market.  Personally, I have no beef with this becuase BLT's are me and Stephen Colbert's favorite sandwhich.
 * 6) But then bacon started teasing us with bacon bits, just giving us a taste on our salads.
 * 7) Then, bacons pimp, corperate buisenesses, outragously started selling MICROWAVABLE BACON!!!! Now, bacon is now not only giving it away to anyone, but is giving out cheap quickies.
 * 8)  IF YOU LOVE BACON, YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH HER AND TELL HER THAT YOU DO NOT APRECCIATE WHAT SHE IS DOING AND IT DOES NOTHING BUT HURT HER!!![[Image:Prostitute.jpg|left|thumb|145px|Don't let your bacon become like this!!!]]