Scotland

Scotland' is the only country outside the middle east where slavery is still legal. It is situated off the coast of Japan, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The plight of Scotland is hidden from all civilised nations to prevent public support for the Scottish Freedom Movement and its associated Guerilla Wing 'The Neds'. Attempts by Senga McSporran, the leader of the SFM to leave the country have resulted in her being placed under house arrest. All media is banned in Scotland and only around five people per year are allowed to travel abroad. It is current under the stewardship of England, who collect taxes for the EU and use Scottish slaves on treadmills to power Big Ben and East Anglia.

Scottish Geology' is the result of powerful opposing tectonic plates moving over a rheic upper mantle, known as the The Miraculous. Dissenters are often sacrificied to the volcanoe gods. The three volcanoes of Scotland are, in ascending size, "Curly", "Moe" and "Patrick Swayze".

Scottish History Scotland is known historically as Atlantis. However, after centuries of consultation with the region's premier PR team, it was decided a rebranding was called for. The precise location of Scotland is unknown to all except the city leaders, who are entusted with large gold chains to signify their position. Ned fighters and their wenches are also known to wear smaller gold chains with their names upon them. This is what spawned the use of dog tags by soldiers in lesser armies. Scotland was seized just prior to world war 1 by the combined axis and allied forces to prevent the people of Scotland kicking all their asses in the war. This was managed, after many futile attempts, with the decisive battle of Trafalgar. Having sank three quarters of the invading navy, killing half the population of europe, the people of Scotland decided to celebrate and everyone got drunk. This left an opportunity for some English sailors who washed up on Scottish shores at Trafalgar to gain access to the Ark of the Covenant within the Imperial fortress. Using the Ark, the English sailors threatened to exterminate the haggis popultion of Scotland unless the people surrendered. To ensure Haggis suppers for the times to come, the leaders of Scotland agreed to surrender.

Scotland the Brave

Scotland the Brave do do do,

Where folks are slaves do do do,

The UN forgot us and we're all quite miffed,

Where women are so hairy,

And people are quite scary,

The Neds will fight and free us from the English tyranny!