Saxophone

The Saxophone was invented by Thomas Edison. It is a weapon of mass death used by names such as Ned Lamont and Russ Lieber. These two demonic forces of destruction are affiliated with bears in their hope to take over America and poison it with a bunch of crappy resolutions and make us all communists. One of the most infamous bear warriors, Harree Potterz, used the Saxophone on Atlantis a really long time ago. Luckily, Stephen Colbert slew the beast, but not before the liberal-loving insane maniac bear sunk Atlantis. Russ Lieber was sad at the death of the monstrosity known as Harree Potterz. He then swore to be an anti-American idiot. Although he was technically already one.

Nation, do not eat in a grocery store in Mecca if you see a bear holding a saxophone. But remember, Colbert is watching after you.