Naughty bacon


 * 1)  Aparently, Stephen Colbert's favorite breakfast/sandwich meat has been getting a bit too frisky.  Yes, I am talkin about strips of salted and smoked meat from the back and sides of a pig otherwise known as bacon.  The delicious substance you find slapped between lettuce and tomatoe in a delicious BLT Sandwhich  [[Image:Bacon.jpg|left|thumb|133px|Bacon: your breakfast whore?]]
 * 2)  1.  Bacon used to be like a pruned lady.  You use to have to kill a pig and slice its back into pieces to get some.  Figuratively speaking of course.
 * 3)  2.  Then butchers decided to sell bacon like hookers on the street inside of thier deli's, or as i like to call skankli's.
 * 4)  3.  Then bacon started hangin 'round grocie stores, which I call the food whore store.
 * 5)  4.But then bacon started teasing us with bacon bits, just giving us a taste on our salads.
 * 6) Then, bacons pimp, democratic corperate buisenesses, outragously started selling MICROWAVABLE BACON!!!! Now, bacon is now not only giving it away to anyone, but is giving out cheap quickies.  This is where bacon has gone too far.
 * 7)  IF YOU LOVE BACON, YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH HER AND TELL HER THAT YOU DO NOT APRECCIATE WHAT SHE IS DOING AND IT DOES NOTHING BUT HURT HER!!![[Image:Prostitute.jpg|left|thumb|145px|Don't let your bacon become like this!!!]]