Marquis de Lafayette

The Marquis de Lafeyette was an American hero who fought alongside Jesus in the American Revolution. He was NOT French. If anyone ever tries to tell you he was from France, tell them he fought in a war and did not surrender immediately, so obviously he was from America.

Early Life
Lafayette grew up in South Carolina in the 1740's. He spent the first 15 years of his life hunting bears with Daniel Boone and Stephen Colbert beyond the Kentucky frontier. When he was sixteen the French and Indian War broke out and he traveled to the French town of Le Gayville, Louisiana. He walked down Main Street waving a stick and threatening to hit people over the head. Within ten minutes, all the frenchies had retreated and Lafayette renamed the town after himself. He then went to help Washington fight the Indians (who were not pussies) in Pennsylvania and Ohio.

Lafeyette in World War 0
During World War 0, otherwise known as the American Revolution, Lafayette was appointed general by his old friend George Washington. He proceded to kick Cornwallis' ass all over Virginia, travel to London, bitch-slap King George, and travel back in time to help regain New Jersey. He retired in his eponym, Lafayette, Lousiana.

Liberal Conspiracy
The same group of factinistas who claim that "Colbert" is a French name are also attacking Lafayette. They claim that the term "Marquis" is a level of French aristocracy below a duke and above an earl, but they conveniently ignore that the word is listed in the American dictionary, so it can't be French. This is clearly an attempt make it seem like some Frenchmen have balls.