Bill O'Reilly

Bill O'Reilly is the former host of tabloid TV show Inside Edition and has a primetime show on the Fox News Channel weeknights. He is the one and only Papa Bear, not to be confused with Rush Limbaugh, his gay lover and fellow Viagra addict.

His show "The O'Reilly Factor" is a spinoff of the news show "The Colbert Report." Some might think that the Report is a spinoff of the Factor, but that's what you get for thinking. You should always use your gut in the true truthiness way.

O'Reilly Trivia
O'Reilly has displayed almost superhuman-like, beyond ambidextrous powers. He has the ability to converse flirtatiosly on the telephone while manipulating his anus with a vibrator and fondling his penis all at the same time.
 * Papa Bear is a godlike killing machine, liberating the world of the liberal, ivy-league media elite and their front politicians known as democrats. He should not be confused with bears, which are godless killing machines.
 * It has been suggested that Stephen Colbert refers to Bill O'Reilly as "Papa Bear" because of his size, not because he secretly believes him to be part of the Bear Conspiracy.
 * Bill O'Reilly caused the Great Potatoe Famine by eating three hundred tons of Freedom Fries.
 * Stephen Colbert converted to Buddhism after realizing that him being the reincarnation of Bill O'Reilly is the only possible way that they both can be so close in truthiness. Stephen does not know that one of them must be dead to be reincarnated. Stephen thinks that Buddhism is a type of foreign cheese.

External Sources

 * Wikipedia's shrine to Papa Bear
 * Let Bill liberate your desktop
 * Let Bill protect your desktop - safe and lubricated