Joel's Army

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Joel's Army is a group of America's Best Youth who believe they're members of the final generation to come of age before the end of the world, are breaking away in droves from mainline Pentecostal churches.

They number in the hundreds of millions according to Billboard record sales. They base their beliefs on a strict reading of the second chapter of the Old Testament Book of Joel, in which Joel commands an avenging swarm of locusts to attack Israel.

Book Of Joel
The prophet Joel is considered a minor prophet in the eyes of size queens interested only in the quantity of the edits posted into the Holy Bible under the prophet's username. However, The Lord considers Joel a major prophet due to the awesomeness of those few edits. The Lord also likes Joel for the way he uses his God-given powers of dominion over the lowly beasts to seek vengeance against Jews for killing Jesus.