Painter

A painter is a kind of artist who paints pictures. Sometimes these are good pictures, like portraits of Our Glorious Stephen. Mostly, though, painters try to make you feel stupid by painting a bunch of crazy looking stuff that looks like the crap you would have gotten in trouble for making in grade school. Then they sell it for like a million dollars, so a bunch of snobby communists in black turtlenecks can stand around talking about how great it is and how it "really expresses the human condition" and other bull like that. And it doesn't even look like anything.

Besides portraits of Stephen, other good ways for painters to spend their time include making pictures of dogs playing poker, painting my house, and not becoming fascist dictators.