ESPN

Similar to Stephen Colbert's Sport Report, ESPN (a.k.a. The ESPN) is dedicated to worshipping covering American sports. Like a pestilential virus, ESPN has spread to practically all media outlets. E.S.P.N. is an acronym for something, however it is doubtful that anyone actually knows what for. The ESPN has its own series of TV channels, radio, webtubes, and magazines. ESPN's signature show SportsCenter, is a blatant ripoff of Sport Report.

A Short History of ESPN
The ESPN Empire is headquartered in the same location it got started in, Bristol, Connecticut.

Sports Shown On ESPN
WNBA

World Series Of Poker (only aired in 4 hour stretches)

Current ESPN Personalities

 * Erin Andrews -
 * Chris Berman -
 * John Clayton -


 * '''Rachel Nichols -

Former ESPN Personalities
Rush Limbaugh

Signs ESPN May Be A Cult

 * There has been at least 22 children named "ESPN" (or "ESPeN") after the network.
 * ESPN's parent company is Disney.
 * Has complete control over broadcast rights to every sport except for three two (Curling, Roman-Greco wrestling, and Unicycle Hockey).
 * Any broadcaster regardless of sport, eventially works for ESPN.
 * Refers to its employees as "Members of the ESPN  family ". Know of any other cults where members were known as a family?