Model Farms High School

History
Model Farms High School was founded in 1976 by 2 drunken hippies. Chuck Norris fly kicked both their heads off and claimed the school for himself. Three years later, in 1981, Chuck Norris offered the school to some other guy which was a man named Mr. Klump, they had a sumo fight and Mr. Klump won. The school has been his ever since........*Hint* Someone finish my story...

Location
Model Farms High School is located 2 kilometres below the centre of the Universe.

School Animals
Model Farms, just as the school name indicates, is a housing for many farm animals, including...

Cows (Fattius Oblivium)
The term COW, is an acronym for "Chicks Over Weight". If you are wandering what makes a person fat, this formula answers that: $$Fat = Cake + Pie - Vegetables + Cake + Sugar + Elephants + Sugar + Donuts + More Butter - Fruit + Cake + Butter$$

A fat person's natural enemy is the liposuction machine, this high tech machine deprives them of their fatty powers. When their forcefield of fat has been destroyed, you are free to smash them with a stick.



Information should be added here on fat things.

The Dory (Twigheis Hepatitis)
Model farms is home to rare, mythological creatures, one of these is known as Dory....who is said to be incredibly stupid. He is said to look up porno at school, and then bragging about how awesome he was for doing it, (even though it was mostly gay porn and shouldn't of even bragged about it, or even looked it up). He then asks girls to go out with him / to the formal, and when they say no, he quickly bribes them with a limousine. When they say no the second time, he moves onto the next girl. But the biggest problem is that he blinks so much that it creates hurricanes....or.....he believes that a witch-doctor put a curse on him, so if he stops blinking his lungs will collapse, or explode, he blinked to much.

The Dominant Persian
The school is in complete control to the dominant Persian, Sina. Sina is well known for his high amounts of hair all over his body, using his feet as a weapon, and he is most known for wasting excessive amounts of money on World of Warcraft.

The Not So Dominant Persian
Another Persian who goes by the name of Kian, always tries to overthrow Sina form his dominant Persian position, though every time he fails. Kian also plays World of Warcraft, and cannot kill Sina in that either, it is safe to say that Kian will fail at everything, and always will.

The School Bully
The school bully of Model Farms High is Asutosh. His over sized body and fear of him falling on you makes Asutosh quite a fearful bully.

The Gooks (Asians etc.)




Asian People are the deadliest plague, and a rapidly growing species; they were recently rated the biggest danger to the planet, higher than fat people. Asian people cannot be trusted, many believe that they are aliens, due to their strange looks, yellow skin, poor vision, and inability to speak English (See Also: Indians). This Asian/Alien theory not yet been proven.

Encountering Asians
If spotted, and you are wielding any type of weapon, attack the Asians immediately, your best chance of a clean strike on an Asian, is to come either form the top of their eyesight, or the bottom. Asians do not have very good eyes and can only see things directly in front of them. If you are not carrying any form of weapon at the time you encounter the Asian, DO NOT attempt to fight it, run away extremely fast (pretend as if a stampede of Haleigh's crossed with Asutosh's are chasing you). If you are not quick enough to run, you are absolutely fucked, all Asians (except Andrew Lin) will know some form of karate, Taekwondo or something similar to them.

The Truth About Them

 * Asians are considered sexy by most Nazi infested countries.
 * All Asian languages are the same.
 * All Asians watch Hentai, and it is a national sport in their country.
 * Hello Kitty is their country's mascot.
 * Karate, Taekwondo, and the others, are all the same type of fighting style, they made up all the names to make them seem like an all powerful race.

Why You Would Never Want To Be An Asian
1. You will never get promoted.

2. Cannot see.

3. Car accident 4 times a week (on average).

4. No one can understand what you say.

5. Eternal hatred towards you.

6. You are happy not being retarded.

Why You Would Want To Be An Asian

 * Hint* I need help on this one; a lot of it.

Suicidal Emos
As all schools do, Model Farms has a number of groups or "clicks", but the one that is most interesting is the suicidal Emo group. These school members are always thinking that somebody is out to get them, or that the world is cruel, which brings them to a state of depression. In this state, the suicidal Emos believe that cutting their wrists with razor blades will take away the pain of life, but it really just brings in another type of physical pain. If somebody tries to stop them (under pity or either drugs) the members of the group will tell them to go away.

BE WARNED!!!!! If two or more suicidal Emos get together, they will start writing disgusting poems about how pointless life is, or even start their own band.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES: If you find yourself stuck, listening to one of these poems/songs, you may want to take your own life to stop the suffering. So, carefully tie your shoelaces around your neck and tie that to a bus (preferably one going over a cliff).



The 'Special' Students
Main Article: Retards The term special means they are 100% retarded and have numerous problems. This group of students of is led by the drooling Johnny Boy. Him and his loyal group of follower's job is to defend their retarded rights, even though, deep down, they know they have none.

One of the many 'special' students at Model Farms is Terry Elliot, who, looking like a normal person, was hated so much, even by his own bike, got run over by a car....because his breaks didn't work (dumb fuck). He has an amazing ability to take soccer balls off unexpecting students, and hog it until they get bored and walk away. Even as they leave he tries showing off, but to no success...

You Want To Be A Retard?
Being a retard, sped, fucked in the head, broken, defective, not functioning too well, isn't very hard. It has been statistically proven that 12/10 people who have read this article are in fact already retarded.

Things That Will Make You A Retard
1. Banging your head against a wall.

2. Communicating With A Retard

3. Looking at a retard.

4. Touching a retard (This is the worst of them all).

5. Having sex with a retard when the moon is full.

Maths Department
The maths department at Model Farms High School is filled with illegal immigrants who couldn't find a taxi business that would accept them. So instead, they became fucking shit teachers.

The Reasons Why Not to Go to School
1. Masturbation is better.

2. Need to get to a higher level on World of Warcraft / World of Whorecraft.

3. Getting fat.

4. Getting fat while Masturbating.

5. Getting fat while pwning some n00bz with your level 12 paladin.

6. Frightful fear of not Masturbating

7. Your stamp collection won't collect itself.

The Reasons to Go to School
1.

2. A lot of people to masturbate for you.

3. The constant joy of learning.