Wikiality:What Wikiality.com Is Not

Wikiality is an online truthopedia and, as a means to that end, an online community of people interested in building a fact-free truthopedia in a spirit of mutual fanatical devotion to Dr. Stephen Colbert. Therefore, there are certain things that Wikiality is not.

Wikiality is not a paper encyclopedia
Wikiality is not a paper encylopedia. While there are limits on how much information can be packed into the tubes of the Internets, there can still be more truthiness on Wikiality than one could cram into a paper book. Paper books also kill trees. Wikiality just kills e-trees.

The only feasible limits placed on page size are for the consideration of users who have to dial up to connect to the series of tubes that Wikiality is located on. Because phone number are now ten digits long in the United States of America, which is the only country in the world that actually matters, they take up a lot of space and can cause sorts of "traffic jams" in the tubes. While online gambling may clear up tube traffic, Wikiality does not yet offer online gambling services.

Wikiality is not an encyclopedia
Wikiality is not an encyclopedia. Not only is Wikiality not a paper encyclopedia, but it is not an encyclopedia at all. Encyclopedias are books that have a lot of facts crammed into them. Dr. Stephen Colbert does not like facts, and neither should red-blooded, patriotic American heroes. Wikiality is 100% truthiness: if it feels right, it is true.

The Wikiality website actually runs on gut power. The thought synapses of the gut turn a rod connected to a nucular power station, which generates the electricity needed to operate the tubes used by the Wikiality website.

Wikiality is not a crystal ball
Wikiality is not a crystal ball. This is very important. Crystal balls are symbols of paganism, and paganism is morally wrong and offensive in the eyes of The Baby Jesus. If Wikiality wants to predict the future, it better be a prophet of God - and not a fake prophet like Mohammed, either!

There is nothing wrong with predicting the future. Dr. Stephen Colbert has done that many times, and he has never been wrong. For example, it is perfectly legit for Wikiality to state that Bill Frist will be elected president in the year 2008, because he will.

Wikiality is not a liberal factonista Ivy League ivory tower scholar fortress
Wikiality is not a liberal etc. etc. . If anybody wants to post their liberal pinko Communist lies all over the Internets, this is not the place. This website completely endorses the views of Dr. Stephen Colbert, who is a political independent and a God-fearing Christian. Amen.

Failure to comply with this rule may result in going to Hell.

Wikiality is not a truck
Wikiality is not a truck. With a few notable exceptions, you cannot masturbate to dump trucks, therefore, they are not Wikiality. Truth doesn't go driving on spewing carbon monoxide exhaust from its oversized tailpipes; truth goes marching on. Jesus said so.

The most important thing to remember is that, again, Wikiality is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's, it's a series of tubes!

What the Wikiality community is not
The above guidelines apply to the truth of Wikiality, which has gelatinous qualities and tastes like bitter cherries. These guidelines apply to Wikiality discussions.

Wikiality is not a battlefield
Wikiality is not a place to beg anyone to go, make anyone stay, or hurt anyone so bad. That is love. Love is a battlefield. Wikiality is not a battlefield.

Wikiality is not an anarchy
While Wikiality has the utmost respect for and in fact enshrines the qualities of freedom, anarchy is a sin. When God appoints leaders, they should be followed without question, comment, or complaint. Officials can only be elected by God, and the creators of Wikiality are, in fact, minor prophets. While the Wikiality creators are not quite on the level of, say, Moses, they may fall somewhere in between Pat Robertson and Elijah Wood.

Wikiality is not a sultanate
Because most sultanates are cruel, freedom-hating institutions of Islamofascist Satan-worshipers, Wikiality is not a sultanate or anything remotely resembling a sultanate. Any suggestion that Wikiality is a sultanate will be met by immediate smiting courtesy of God's terrible wrath.

Wikiality is not an empire
An empire typically employs stormtroopers, TIE Fighters, Star Destroyers, and Darth Vader to crush its enemies. While Wikiality does hold small numbers of stormtroopers, TIE Fighters, and Star Destroyers in reserve, it has not yet recruited Darth Vader to its service, and therefore, Wikiality is not an empire.

Wikiality is not a bureaucracy
Seeing as that the federal government of the United States of America is perfectly capable of being a full-fledged bureaucracy on its own, Wikiality sees no reason to be a bureaucracy in lieu of it. Congress has this tied down very well already. Once the Greatest President Ever takes complete control of the government and establishes himself as a virtual autocrat, Wikiality may consider adopting traits of a common bureaucracy to compensate for the congressional deficiency of bureaucraticness.

What your user page is not
The Wikiality user page is not a paper encyclopedia, encyclopedia, crystal ball, liberal factonista Ivy League ivory tower scholar fortress, truck, battlefield, anarchy, sultanate, empire, or bureaucracy either.

In conclusion
That just about covers it. Obey these simple rules and you may go to Heaven, as long as you don't touch yourself at night. Jesus is watching you, and so is the NSA.