Man



Man is the most important thing to ever exist in the Universe. He is capable of anything.

Creation
Dr. Stephen Colbert (Numero Uno) was the first creation of God.

The second was a living room for Stephen to relax in while he finished all the other stuff, mostly America, bears (for sport), and the Earth.

Women were God's last creations - Stephen did not feel like giving birth himself and wanted something beautiful and flawed to look upon and laugh at. Since God enjoys a good joke as much as Stephen, he obliged the request and stole one of Stephen's ribs. Stephen bit God which made him angry. So God gave women the period in order to torture all men once a month.

God also created American (language), then taught Stephen how to speak, think with his gut, and do battle with bears and the English.

Superiority
Man is superior to woman in every way - including child birth, which men do not want to do. Men let women think they are better at things like cooking, cleaning, and being sexy so that the women will not go insane and kill children in a vain attempt to claim their existence.

Notable Men

 * Dr. Stephen Colbert
 * George W. Bush
 * Jesus Christ
 * God
 * Donald Trump
 * Dick Cheney
 * Dr. Condaleeza Rice
 * Ann Coulter