Unitarian Universalism

Unitarian Universalism is a liberal religious cult in the United States. It should not be confused with the similarly named Unitarian Church. Members of this cult often call themselves Unitarian, causing this confusion. Little is known about this cult outside its membership.

History
In 1961 the Unitarians, who also like to make The Baby Jesus cry by insisting that the Holy Trinity is not real, joined farces with the Universalists who make The Baby Jesus laugh by pretending that Hell is not real. In doing so, these two heretical "churches" formed the Unitarian Universalist Association, also known as the UUA (pronounced: UU eh). Henceforth Unitarians and Universalists became known as Unitarian Universalists aka UUs eh.

What UUs Like

 * Sacrificing virgins to the gays
 * Hubris
 * Protesting
 * Fawning over Democrats
 * Bears
 * Marrying the gays
 * Committees
 * Cognitive Dissonance
 * Coffee
 * Canadians
 * Blasphemy
 * Barack Obama
 * Sexual intercourse and sex education.
 * Squicking little timmy. See: Abortion

What UUs Hate

 * Republicans
 * Revelation of God
 * Objective Truth
 * Apple Pie
 * America
 * Babies see: Abortion

Reasons To Avoid UUs

 * They are Godless heathens.
 * Agnostics are atheists without balls. Unitarians are agnostics without balls.
 * Unitarians are part of a vast left-wing conspiracy that is tempting America with gay marriage.
 * Unitarians are Democrats.
 * They smell funny and talk funny.
 * The first Union casualty of the Civil War was a Unitarian. His blatant act of cutting and running was a slap in the face to the great Commander-in-Chief, Abraham Lincoln, and a bad example set for an unwitting 470,000 others.
 * Unitarians hate babies.