Geddy Lee


 * "What about the voice of Geddy Lee?
 * How did it get so high?
 * I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?"
 * &mdash;"Stereo", Pavement



Geddy Lee is a Jewish man tragically born without any testicles. Although he was treated like a freak in his Canadian gym classes (curling and hockey being the only sports taught) and will never be able to naturally reproduce (although regardless of the condition of his nonexistent testicles, the size of his prodigious nose would prevent him from getting within two feet of anybody, especially a woman), he developed a reputation from a young age for having an immasculinely high voice.

Geddy shattered sexual stereotypes and gender roles in vocal music throughout his formative years and eventually joined the local band Rush, the other members of which were sissy boys. He felt at home immediately. It was the perfect place for him to be. In fact, after nearly 38 years, it still is. Despite the fact that he is getting old, Geddy still has the strength and unincumbered flexibility to hop around and perform quantum string theory interpretative dances (improvised, in keeping with laws of theoretical physics) on stage while strumming his bass guitar and warbling vocals capable of forming into a piercing projectile splittingly high enough to shear through two feet of solid steel. His voice remains unable to crack Hillary Rodham Clinton's heart of stone, however.