Boston



Boston, or "Bahstahn" as it is known locally, is the capitol and largest city in America's bastard child of a state, Taxachusetts. It is also the capitol of Gaysreal. It is known for its flaming liberalism and it's citizens' funny accents. It is a well-known hide-out/breeding ground for tax-and-spenders, gays, communists, and college-educated fact-huggers.

History
Boston was not always a liberal cesspool. It was founded a long time ago in the names of God and Jesus Christ by the pilgrims in hopes that it would become even more Jesusy than the South is today. In 1773, founding fathers such as Benjamin Franklin and John Adams defeated Satan during the Battle of the Boston Tea Party. After that, the founding fathers used Boston as headquarters to plan for World War 0. America's swift, inspiring, heroic victories in and around the city ensured a quick defeat of the British and the French during the war.

Language
Bostonians speak a local dialect of American known as Bahstonian (translation: Bostonian). Basic rules of pronunciation are: The reason for this is, according to John Stewart, the Massachusetts Legislature ratified everything in John Adams' 1780 Massachusetts Constitution "except the letter 'R'. If a non-Bostonian were to attempt to stop his or her automobile on the grounds of the city's Ivy League University, a Bostonian would scream, "What are you, retahded? Ya can't pahk ya cah in the Hahvahd Yahd!"
 * The consonant “R” is pronounced as “AH”
 * The vowel “A” is pronounced as an “ER” or an “R” when it is the last letter of a word.

Education
Boston is home to an estimated 4,315,782 colleges and universities, more than any other city in the country. This means it is full of elitist, liberal factinistas who rely too much on books and not enough on their guts.

Factoids

 * Boston is part of the megaopolis BosWash, which includes Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington, D.C.
 * Boston's economy is sustained by the gay marragie industry and the sale of clam chowder
 * The Boston Celtics wear kilts while playing basketball