American (language)


 * This article is about American, the language. For Americans as a people, see: American

American is the official language of the United States of America, Stephen Colbert, Wikiality and most of the known Universe. Often, treasonous "intellectuals" claim that we must pay homage to the hobbit-like island people of Great Britain. But any real American would know that Tony Blair can no longer be trusted, since he is a flip-flopper.

The language of American is really the only language Americans need to know, because deep down, the rest of the world wants to be just like us. (Why else would our initials be U.S.?)

American is the only language invented and endorsed by God.

American IS NOT English! It might have some English words that sound like English and mean the same thing, kind of how some English words are the same as Spanish words, like "no", "tuna", "burrito", and "tobacco". But American isn't English. Do people in England speak American? No, they don't! And they aren't speaking American if they're in Africa, Australia, China, Japan, or Canada. If you're not in America, you couldn't possibly be speaking American, unless you are Donald Trump.

Types of American

 * 19th Century Prospector
 * 1930s mobster
 * Midwestern - From the Heartland; you will hear Stephen Converse in this manner.
 * Injun Talk
 * Southern - Stephen's Birth Language.
 * Redneck - A variation of Midwestern and Southern. Pick a side, people! We're at war!
 * Orange County - Flaky Tofu Eating Bastards.
 * Ebonics - Various Centuries
 * Yankee
 * New England Puritan - Goodie Proctor is a WITCH!
 * Broken - Every one has to learn.
 * Liberal - Also known as Terrorist; you will never hear Stephen converse in this manner

List of Notable American Words

 * BALLS!
 * Truthiness
 * Crumbelievable
 * Wikiality
 * Hunami
 * Filliam H. Muffman
 * Freedom Fries
 * Factiness
 * FUSSDIRAGs
 * Baseball
 * Football
 * The Internet
 * Capitalism