Reptiloid

The Reptiloids are a race of reptilian aliens that secretly control the country (at least the Democrat party). The Democrats and their Reptiloid masters have a secret plan to harvest the blood of Americans, make it into wine, and sell it to the Arab nations.

The plans of the Reptiloids were first exposed on the Daily Show by reporter and blogger John Hodgeman. The Democrats later put Hodgeman into cement overshoes and dropped him into a lake for revealing their wicked plan.

The Battle Plan
As expected, the Democrats are trying to appease the Reptiloids. But Bush feels in his gut that America must charge in, guns blazing. Because things are going swimmingly in Iraq and the strain on our great military is minimal, we can fight and defeat the Reptiloids with ease. At the front of this assault will be Stephen Colbert

Colbert has a personal vendetta against the Reptiloids. They were heavily involved in Order 66, the slaughter of Colbert's fellow Jedi Knights. Others who will follow Colbert into this titanic battle of good and evil will be Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, Jesus, and Ted Nugent.