Mustache

The mustache is a luxuriant thatch of hair that starts below the nose, above the upper lip and extends from each end of the mouth. Mustaches, or "stashes," denote virility and potency in the grower/wearer of the "stash." While any man with a pair of balls can grow a mustache, it takes a real man to wear a mustache properly. This is called "Mandom."

While a lush mustache is a respectable and pleasing form of facial hair, beards are not. To be more exact, men with beards are unacceptable, they know what they did.

While men with beards are an unsavory lot, women with beards exist in a grayer area. Most women with beards will be working in carnivals, so it is their livelihood, but most carnies are a dangerous bunch. This is a case by case subject.

It should be noted that some non-carny women grow and wear facial hair and/or mustaches. If such hair is not job related, to allow such growth is an abomination unto God and man. Some such hirsute "women" are Rachel Maddow Italians and Frida Kahlo.

Mustaches to Ride














Mustaches to Ridicule (Yeah, I could've gone with "chide," but you're better than that)