Red Star

A babby feeder for future New York Times journalist, famous for teaching people in Alabama, to blame America first and supports the terrorists. Perhaps the greatest threat that this in Northeast Alabama besides bears, this yankee controlled, East Coast liberal, Ivy-league-educated newspaper claims to be locally owned by an Ivy Leaguer. What people don't know is they have been bying up small newspaper throughout Northeast Alabama and bringing them under liberal control.

Don't let these commie bastards full you! The your true locally small homeowned paper that gets it correct in Northeast Alabama (aside New York Timesowned papers) is the Daily Colbert! According to Stephen Colbert, just like the New York Times, the Red Star is full of lies (and "facts").

Staff
The Red Star is staffed solely with Factonistas that turn their nose at truthiness. Their "reporting" is always biased against our Greatest President, George Wallace, and Attorney General [[Troy King and there is never any gut-checking when writing about any subject. Unlike the Daily Colbert and other Fox News like news sources, the people working there are not in touch with their feelings.  They are not it-getters. We need to help them find out what "feels" right, and to ignore what their precious "facts" tell them to believe.

Staff members have included:
 * Satan
 * The Baby Satan
 * Osama bin Laden
 * Rick Bragg
 * Jayson Blair
 * Saddam Hussein
 * Judith Miller

Sections
There are 3 sections


 * Liberal stuff
 * Sports
 * Other liberal stuff

Factoids

 * The slogan of the Red Star is Alabama's Largest Homeowned newspaper, which maens they try to crush little papers like the Daily Colbert.
 * It's black and white and read all over by terrorists looking for information on how to attack the United States.
 * Claims it stood up against George Wallace during Segragation.
 * Writes articles about gay bears.
 * Offers bears safe sanctuary within its offices.
 * Wants you and your family dead.
 * Is uber boring and mega un-American.
 * Tries to run the family owned Daily Colbert out of business.