Christine O'Donnell



Christine O'Donnell is a former satanist fun-lovin' gal and wholesome anti-masturbatiojn activist who wont have sex until she is elected as the Tea Bagging Senator of Delaware.

The Wisdom Of Christine

 * icdb (The Internets Christine Database)
 * Quotes for mining


 * Christine is not possessed
 * She did not attend the University of Oxford but she did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Her Anti-Masturbation Agenda



 * promises to watch those perverts 24-7
 * Endorses Hitachi brand Magic Wand!

Our only solution against this abominable act of adultery in the eyes of God is to marry our hand to make the sexual union between man and hand to be a valid one.

(No one tells Sweetness!)

In addition...
However, if one were to engage in pre-marital sex prior to the Christian blessing of God-Approved marital relations, one would be forgiven if one's partner were in a Christian rock band.

So, in conclusion, not all pre-marital sex is created equal.

Masturbation Update
O'Donnell recently compared gays in the military as equally offensive as adulterers in the military. Stephen Colbert using his gut power made a shocking discovery, by using O'Donnell's logic we have a secret dark side to masturbation:

IF $$Masturbation = Adultery$$ AND $$Gays$$ in the Military $$=$$ $$Adultery$$ in the Military THEN by using the transitive property of gut power we get this result $$Masturbation = Gay$$

This could only mean one thing, Stephen Colbert is gay married to his hand!! He has been doing it with a dude all along!!! Stephen Colbert felt on the liburals' trap!!! Damn you gays, you got him!!!

Tea Bagging Agenda

 * Jubs: She will bring new jubs to her State, starting with herself!
 * Education for Real Americans only
 * No More Sex
 * No More Bailouts
 * Restore Christian Morality to America Joos, you are on your own "Anne Frank is on the third floor in a room behind the bookcase."
 * Destroy the Libural Media
 * Cut funds for a cure to AIDS Gay Fads
 * Destroy the RINOs
 * Evolution Schmevolution
 * Bring Back Creationism to the classroom
 * Eliminate Laziness
 * to finally put Bill Clinton behind bars
 * Stop the mutated mice army
 * Arrest the sun for sexual molestation
 * Outlaw Magic. Harry Potter, you are on Notice!
 * No More Czars
 * To solve the Gay Issue, America must become Asexual
 * Save our Churches from The Big Communist Government
 * Impeach the Activist Judges in the Supreme Court

Haters

 * Has-been hippie gay-loving traitor
 * Her lesbo sister she is dead to her...
 * Teh Gey traitor
 * FiveThirtyEight
 * Pro-masturbators

Official Tubes



 * Bio
 * All you wanted to know about Christine but you were too libural to ask
 * Christine to change her name to The Younger Sarah Palin
 * Her father was Bozon The Clown! She can help us fight the mime menace!
 * The Misadventures of Christine

Edjukashun:

 * Yale University
 * University of Oxford
 * Claremont Graduate University
 * Princeton University
 * Fairleigh Dickin g son University
 * Grifter University
 * Glenn Beck's University
 * Tea Bagging University
 * Colbert University
 * Stephen Colbert "University"
 * Clown College

...look she has a diploma... right?...

Likes:

 * Meatballs

Dislikes:

 * Vegans

External Tubes

 * Tea Party wins!
 * Tea Baggers declare Delaware to be theirs!
 * Even Democrats support O'Donnell!
 * Liburals terrified! Welcomes Tea Baggers Overlords
 * Republican Goddess Talks about Teh Sexxxor
 * Christine O'Donnell no need no stinking bribe money
 * FINE, SHE DONT NEED YOUR STINKING MONEY, SHE CAN WIN ON HER OWN!
 * THANK YOU JESUS, WE CAN NOW STOP EATING RAMEN NOODLES!
 * Mike Castle now a fugitive
 * American Hater disses Tea Bagging Goddess!
 * O'Donnell sells pies to pay campaign bills
 * Christine O'Donnell good for the economy. The Free Market haz voted
 * Christine O'Donnell thanks her greatest supporter, King Pyrrhus
 * Hippie traitor still on the run
 * O'Donnell's victory brings party unity
 * Liburals already surrendering Delaware!
 * Sarah Palin declares major victory on Delaware
 * Christine O'Donnell receives a check for $1,000,000 from God! Will spend it wisely
 * Emergency News: Witch puts a Curse on Christine!!!
 * Christine 101
 * Satanic Community demands apology from Real Worshiper Christine O' Donnell
 * Christine O'Donnell's New Protegee!
 * Help! Christine being attacked by Tea Haters!
 * Christine finds a new job
 * Christine supports Papa Bear all the way
 * Colbert finds solution to the witch problem
 * Get your hands off Christine, you damn dirty ape!
 * Christine's opponent is a witch!
 * How Christine saved us from Our Chinese Masters
 * Christine O'Donnell wins debate
 * The Misadventures of Christine: Mama finds a new Sugar Daddy