Anime



Anime is an abbreviation of the word "animation" though the term refers to japanese animation.

Connections to Tek Jansen
Contrary to popular belief, Anime does not include the world popular "Adventures of Tek Jansen" cartoon series which the Japanese people have shamlessly copied for generations though failing miserably to achieve its animated magnificance. In recent reports, however, it was revealed that "Anime makes Tek Jansen happy". Because of this, the demand for anime (and the happiness of the sexy idol Tek Jansen) has grown substantially. However this turned out be a lie created by evil left winged Democrats trying to trick America by accepting this brain washing material. Tek Jansen quickly killed all the Democrats involved with this conspiracy.

The Anime Art style
One major trademark of the anime style are big breasts on woman and large soulful eyes, resembling that of our hero Stephen Colbert and our world savior Jesus Christ. Another aspect of anime is that it is very vibrant. The colors of anime are often very visually appealing, for obvious reasons. Sometimes, anime involves fast food chains, something that causes Stephen Colbert to be very concerned.



Purposes of Anime


Anime is designed to give liberals pornography to look at. This is because any liberal cannot stand to see an actual woman naked, unless they are lesbian and/or art history professors. Anime is their way of 'getting some' without actually 'having any'.

Anime is also used for much more sinister purposes. Since the early 1960's when Astro Boy was first launched into the television sets all over the world, it has been used as propaganda by the pro-robot agenda to convince children that robots are our friends. Which they are not, as anyone who has ever seen The Terminator films can tell you. Most sensible Westerners, with the notable exception of Isaac Asimov, can tell you that a robot would rather shoot you to pieces, have sex with you and THEN shoot you to pieces, or at the very least tell you to bite his(?) shiny metal ass. Anime, however, teaches children that robots can be your classmate, your pet, your friendly car, your girlfriend, and probably even your boyfriend.

Anime has also been a staunch supporter of The Gay since the 1980's, when the first homosexual porn, known as yaoi (which I think is Japanese for "Why the hell do we need a plot, moral, or story when we can just show two good-looking gay guys getting it on") came to VHS. It seems like practically every anime series, except maybe Voltron, has at least one gay or lesbian hero or heroine. And really, what kind of message is that sending to the children?

Lastly, anime is almost as useful a primer as Harry Potter in teaching children about the occult. Did you know, for example, that teenage girls can use crystals to give themselves a terrific make-up job and pick out a great pair of shoes for you? Or that crystals can bring about world peace? Or that Phobos and Deimos were the pet crows of the Roman god Mars? I didn't until I watched the evil documentary about schoolgirls and the New Age called Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon. But any intelligent and gutly human being can tell you that Pretty Soldier Sailor Pawn of Satan is nothing more than Satan's minions carefully inserting the contents of The Audubon Society Guide to Rocks and Minerals, The Golden Bough, and the collected works of Joseph Campbell and Shirley MacClaine into a poor manga "artist's" brain. (If your preteen girls crave liberating role models, I recommend Left Behind: The Kids, Mark Twain's Joan of Arc, and the Spice Girls as wholesome alternatives.)

External Tubes

 * Essay on Anime and Otakus
 * Essay: An Anime Fan's Take on Japanese Speculative Fiction
 * Anime Essays
 * What is Anime?
 * Anime Party to offer anime girls as wifu for Otaku's Votes Yes to Lolis!
 * Local Man tortured for four hours after hating Anime
 * America to outlaw Manga
 * Anime Wives are real!
 * Manga: The Error of Engrish
 * The Anime War in America Continues