Prayer

Prayer is a special form of communication that only Christians utilize to speak with God.

What follows is an abbreviated primer on the Power of Prayer.

How Does One Pray?
First, one must be a Christian. Luckily for most, there are many paths to Accepting Jesus Christ As Your Personal Lord and Savior.

After willingly and without coersion, Accepting Jesus Christ As Your Personal Lord and Savior one must get down on one's knees, close one's eyes, clasp one's hands together and call God on your Mental Cellphone.

What Does One Pray For?
Christians can pray for anything:
 * 1) money
 * 2) cars
 * 3) diamond rings
 * 4) the deaths of liberals
 * 5) super powers, such as:
 * 6) the ability to get away with things
 * 7) the ability to credit God for everything
 * 8) the ability to blame God for everything

Non-Christians can only pray that they will one day be allowed into The Kingdom of Heaven™.

Famous People Who Prey

 * Mark Foley
 * Bob Ney
 * Scooter Libby