Kansas

Kansas (also known as "Missouri's Portugal" or "Oklahoma's North Korea"), often misconstrued as "in the middle of nowhere", is in fact lower and off to the right a little from the middle of nowhere. One can find alcohol almost anywhere in the state, so long as you go searching before 11pm (6pm on Sundays)! Marijuana is also plentiful, and there are plenty of bars. If you venture to Topeka, the capital of this fine state, you will find one of the highest crime rates per capita in all of the United States, mostly as a result of the high amount of Meth labs.

One final important aspect of Kansas is the numerous wheat fields. To the right, you can see what some fine Kansas citizens think of such fields.