South Korea

South Korea is a country in Asia that is basically Asia's Mexico that's the North you idiot! Asia's Canada. It is constantly locked in a dispute with its eviller, most Communist twin North Korea who is a turd head. The foreign minister of this nation, Ban Ki-moon, is set to succeed Kofi Annan (a.k.a. Captain Worthless) as Secretary-General of the United Nations at the beginning of the year 2007. Hopefully Jesus will come before Secretary-General Ban proves himself to be as pathetic and inept as his Saddam-loving predecessor, and the Rapture will spare the world further inaction under the United Nations the same way it spared Rick Santorum the boredom of being amazing during the counting of ballots from the 2006 midterm elections in the only country that matters: the United States.

Well, this article is about a different country, and one that doesn't really matter, so the focus of this piece is thus turned back to South Korea and its affairs.

...Okay, we're done.

The Korean War
Sometime in the 1950's the people of Korea wanted to bask in the sweet sweet juices of freedom and capitalism, but some poo poo head wanted instead to worship the bears and practice the commie-hippie way of life. So the treacherous North Koreans invaded the South Koreans because they were jealous that sexy and cool America loved South Korea the most while the North Koreans only had crappy and ugly looking Soviet Russia. The treacherous North Koreans used bears on the war and the South Koreans told them that was cheating, but the poo poo heads said it wasn't cheating. So the Greatest Country in the Planet came to our rescue and beat the crap out of those bullies. Now we bask our lives with Mad Cow beef American Super beef, Rock and Roll, Starcraft, and American movies!

Politics of South Korea
South Korea had over 3,674 presidents since last year because of corruption and bribery scandals they wanted to spend more time with their families. The Glorious President Ever of South Korea is Lee Myung-bak, who is The Greatest American President Ever BFF.

Is not true that South Koreans have an irrational fear of American beef, nor that the South Korean public is calling for its sale to be banned from their supermarkets. It is just a clear misunderstanding and there is no truth about Koreans eating dogs everyday, that is a North Korean lie! We just eat it once a year.

Religion of South Korea
South Korea has a large Christian population of about 30%, so we are working very hard to push away those damn balded-orange-wearing-toga-godless-karma-loving Buddhists and bring the word of The Baby Jesus to the rest of the South Korean heathens masses.

America's Asian Friend
South Korea is America's Asian Nation Friend!! Contrary to liberal rumors, Japan is not a BFF of America!

''Remember that time when Japan came one night and messed up Hawaii during a drunken night? What about the time Japan sold you those fuel efficient vehicles that destroyed the American Automobile Industry? Baby, I know we had some rough times. Like the time my people set the American flag on fire, it was just a misunderstanding... I promise you we will buy more Mad Cow disease beef American Super Beef, I am sorry baby that we hurt you... please call me...''
 * Love, from your South Korean friend

South Korea Trivia

 * South Koreans are pussies who are afraid of making North Korea mad.
 * Seoul (the seat of South Korean government) is constantly locked into a perpetual program of appeasement because North Korea will nuke it otherwise. Oh noes!
 * Koreans eat dogs and play StarCraft all day.
 * South Koreans love to protest but haven't learned the right way to do it, at least hippie bear-loving liberals do a better job at it.
 * A new robot is being developed in Seoul that will be capable of melting steel buildings with its laser vision. It is codenamed "Mechagodzilla" and is due to rrrrrrruuumble in the streets of Tokyo, Japan facing off against its counterpart Godzilla as early as winter 2008.

How To Tell South Korea From North Korea

 * They're the ones with food.
 * You know that kid that you know that is adopted from Asia? He is South Korean.