Sex

Don't have it. It is very painful and Jesus would be watching the whole time. It's most disguisting thing two people can do to one another. Whenever people have sex, Stephen cries. Never have sex. Never. If you have sex even once it could be deadly. Whenever you have sex the terrorists win. If you even think about sex the terrorists win. Sex is only alright in certain circumstances (see below) and even then it is still posssible God will strike you down if you enjoy it too much.

If you see two or more people having sex, they are hurting each other, unless it is wheelbarrow style.

GOP Approved Flavors of Sex

 * Man on dog
 * Man on Child
 * Man on dog on Child
 * Man on
 * Man on shotgun/9mm hand gun
 * Man on God
 * Priest on Child
 * Man on Bear
 * Congressman on IM

Good Places to Have Sex

 * School
 * Kitchen
 * Connecticut's 2nd district
 * Broom Closet
 * Motor Vehicle

Bad Places to Have Sex

 * England
 * Jason Voorhee's House
 * Parent's Bedroom
 * Ears
 * Nostril

Sex In College
College is the time and place to experiment, having sex with such partners as tree stumps and parking meters Also you get a free pass at having used condoms on your coffee table when friends come to visit. Make sure you always stretch in college before sex and remember your in your prime and if you blow don't inhale too fast.

Do Not Also See

 * Condom
 * Birth Control
 * Homosexual
 * Pages

The Wørd
Sex was The Wørd for March 21, 2007.

External Sources

 * Sexy Time Chat
 * Wikipedia's protected sex
 * Wikipedia's abstinence education