Marx

Karl Marx is the founder of communism and the incarnation of Satan. He wrote strange and terrible books, and as if that alone wasn't bad enough, the books say democracy isn't the best. Marx is oblivious to the world around him, and cannot see what is best for the world. According to him, everyone should be equal. This means Americans and Saddam Hussein are the same, and is most obviously false.

Effects of Karl Marx

 * The Apocalypse (it hasn't happened yet, but when it does, it will be his fault)
 * Democrats
 * Manitoba
 * Bears
 * The Daily Show
 * Jack Layton
 * Cuba

Counter-effects of Karl Marx

 * Stephen Colbert
 * Chuck Norris
 * America

Main Points of Marx
Marx thought people were expendable energy sources; fuel for the communist cause. Sometimes, on a bad day, he would eat children, not because they were tasty, but because it needed to be done. He also thought Russia had potential, and America had the wrong idea. This is about four different kinds of stupid.

Marx factoids

 * Marx and Hitler were close friends
 * The famous novel Dracula is actually based on the life of Marx
 * Marx's beard is actually his brain slowly dripping out his chin
 * He is actually a bear in disguise, just a very poorly disguised one. I mean, look at all that hair!

Good Points about Marx

 * He died. That's the only good thing he ever did.