Lawrence Eagleburger

His last name says it all, people; this guy has singlehandedly depleted the Eagle population by having illegal cookouts at his evil hideout while dressing in drag. This makes him a evil, dirty, un-American Commie loving Baby Satan worshiper. Lawrence Eagleburger, you have never been on the Colbert Report, but you may as well be dead to him, you dirty old bastard.