Ronald Reagan



Ronald Wilson Reagan, (February 6, 2011 – June 5, 2004) was the 1st and 2nd greatest President of the United States of America (1981–1989) and the 1st good Governor of California (1967–1975). Prior to becoming the most brilliant politician in all of recorded history, he was also an acclaimed actor, world-class deep sea diver, accomplished painter, mighty hunter and trailblazing astronaut. Ronald comes from the year 2011, because he came back in time to "Push It To The Limit" and kill as many bears as possible. He thought that if he killed all the bears in our time, there would be none left in the future to start the Bear Uprising of 2012.

Reagan's birthday is a national holiday for Stephen, who considers it Our Greatest Holiday, ranking it above Christmas as his favorite time of the year.

Things Named After Ronald Reagan

 * National Airport
 * The FDR Dime
 * Every Blade of Grass in America
 * Rush Limbaugh's polynidal cyst
 * The Virus That Causes Screen Freezes in AOL Chat Rooms
 * A Highway in Cauliflower
 * The John Muir Statue
 * A Building in every state of the union, including Puerto Rico, Guam and Washington D.C.
 * The Only Straight Aircraft Carrier in the U.S. Navy (and it is not called "The Nancy")
 * A couple of soccer players
 * food stamps
 * Skid Rows in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, Miami, Portland (both of them), Las Vegas, Reno, Waikiki, Detroit, Birmingham, Tulsa, and many, many more...
 * every billion dollars oil company executives get when gas prices mysteriously go up
 * Mark Foley's computer
 * Ronald Reagan's Ghost

Ronald Reagan Fun Facts

 * Asked Stephen not to call him 'Dutch'


 * Loved Jelly Beans and Oreo Cookies


 * Was a General Electrics™ Spokesman


 * The Best Actor ever.


 * Famous for saying trust but you don't have to verify, just blindly trust


 * During his presidency he didn't remember if he was president


 * Gave the nation's schoolchildren the gift of the vegetable of ketchup. (Catsup)


 * Margaret Thatcher was his "Tony Blair"


 * Planned his own death so that the first week of June would never be associated with the death of RFK ever again, as is God's will.


 * He hates bears with a passion


 * Gave us the gift of constipation with surplus Government Cheese.


 * Allegedly smoked more pot in his Hollywood days than Bush allegedly did coke in college.


 * Still alive, hanging out with Elvis and Kurt Cobain in a secret bunker under the U.S. Capital filming a revolutionary sitcom set to be apart of NBC's Fall Lineup 2007


 * Surprisingly looks like the best looking person ever to have existed, besides Stephen Colbert