Zoroastrianism



Zoroastrianism is the religion the Persians followed until they got their asses kicked by Gerard Butler and decided to worship him instead. There are still a few hundred thousand of them left around...not for long, though, if Stephen has anything to say about it. Christianity is absolutely nothing like it, of course.

Sworn Enemies
Muslims
 * Christians
 * Freedom
 * Stephen Colbert

How Their Beliefs Threaten America
It is claimed that they influenced Christianity, but we know in our gut that it was the Bearisees who were influenced by this blasphemy! The Bearisees are the baby Jesus' arch enemy!

In an attempt to infiltrate America's youth they have converted the like of Lewis Black and Patton Oswald to the dark side, and have renamed their religion as Comedy Roastrianism. Thankfully, Stephen is there fighting the good fight on Comedy Central. God bless you Stephen Colbert! They put their corpses in towers for bears to eat them as a funeral.