Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls
A television show that airs on the CW every Tuesday, even though we don't like it and it wasted an hour we could be spending making lists about why Baby Jesus and George W. Bush are the greatest people ever. (Not including Stephen Colbert of course, though everyone knows he is the greatest person ever. No questions asked... NEVER ASK QUESTIONS, STEPHEN IS  ALWAYS RIGHT.) The point being, Gilmore Girls is a waste of time as well as a spreader of blatant lies and a disgrace against humanity.

Problem With Gilmore Girls
This television show does numerous things that should be frowned upon by any real American. Listed below are the top four things wrong with Gilmore Girls.

STEPHEN COLBERT'S ON NOTICE FOR GILMORE GIRLS
1. Uses references to books. No one reads those things anymore. Besides, the reason why we are watching the television show in the first place is to get away from those evil things filled with facts.

2. The Gilmore Girls are liberals. Enough Said.

3. The Gilmore Girls talk at a pace approximately 600 words per minute. This is just un-American. The president talks more like 3 words per minute closer to the national average: 1.5 words per minute. See how wonderful that is? To have a man so great to be able to talk at the average American’s pace. He is truly blessed by God and Stephen Colbert. The only people who can understand the Gilmore Girls are nasty, freedom-hating, terrorist loving, liberals.

4. They are probably Witches. They are so not Catholic. HERETICS!