Bear-Sharks

Just when you thought it was safe to get drunk on the Beach!

Legend has it that the finest Scientists the Bears and Sharks could muster joined forces to create Amphibious Godless Killing Machines known as Bear-Sharks. Liberals have been trying to dismiss BearSharks as either weather balloons or foreign exchange students.

These Hybrids are capable of killing in a godless fashion anywhere on land or sea. They can also freak out little animals. There bodies require no Oxygen, and as such they can stay underwater for an unlimited ammount of time. They are one of only two types of Bears that can swim underwater (the other being Zombie Bears).

Bear scientists have been working on a plan to pervert Eagle DNA to give the Bears the powers of flight for over 3 years. Their research has finally yeilded results in the form of the Beagle.

This must be stopped.

What To Do When Confronted by a Bear-Shark
Great Americans have compiled important information for Americans about what to do if one meets one of these Amphibious Godless Killing Machines.

Be sure to commit this information to memory, until then...God Help us All!

Weapons that Defeat This Amphibious Godless Killing Machines

 * Nukes (of course)!
 * Christ's blood (Can be found in red-letter bibles and church wine bottles every where)!

If All Else Fails...
Run Away!

External Link

 * Bear Holding a Shark