Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon Bonaparte was the French precursor to Tom Cruise: a crazy, megalomaniac midget. When God was handing out courage to the French people, Napoleon jumped to the front of the line, stole it all, and ran off. Sadly for him, he forgot to grab any height, sanity or good looks.

Fractoids

 * He is the great, great, great, great grandfather of Napoleon Dynamite
 * He was paranoid of assassins and constantly stroked a pistol stuffed into the front of his jacket
 * He had a trophy wife who was twice his height
 * He was the first mortal President of the European Union