Morgellons

Morgellons is a disease that had to have originated on Mars or, at the very least, the Moon or California. The name comes from the name of the species of alien who brought it to America's Planet.

Symptoms
There are literally thousands of symptoms common to Morgellons sufferers, some of which are:
 * 1) itching
 * 2) sleepiness
 * 3) fibers protruding through the skin
 * 4) sudden rectal probing sensations
 * 5) peanut butter craving

Treatment
There is no treatment for Morgellons since it is all make-believe. Some doctors recommend a sharp smack upside the head. Other medical experts recommend a very large wallet.