St. Michael



St. Michael is the third most truthy badass to ever walk the streets of heaven. Fourth, when Our Glorious Stephen finally departs from us.

Early Career
It all started with Heavenly Decision 6000 BC. The Republican candidate: God, with VP nominee The Baby Jesus. Democrat: The Baby Satan, with VP The Colbear. God wnated to crate a conxervative universe full of Catholics with the slogan: "I Created You, So Vote for Me or Burn." But the Baby Satan disagreed with the slogan "Change We can Believe In." You can see were Barack Hussein Obama was going with this. Anyway, God won the election in an repeatedly-heard-of ∞ to 0. The Baby Satan demanded a recount. Enter Michael. St. Michael was God's head bodyguard at the time, simply because God didn't feel like showing off.