Gay


 * A transitive property.
 * Slang for homosapien.
 * People who aren't married. Ideally they should be herded into Massachussetts.
 * The wrong choice.
 * The WØRD on 11/30/2005 - "Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay"

Out of the Closet

 * Lance Bass
 * Kim Jong II
 * Bears
 * James Saxton (a notorious pedophile despite his lack of balls)
 * Mark Foley (Florida Democrat and NAMBLA member)
 * Ted Haggard
 * Doogie Howser
 * Andrew Sullivan
 * Most liberals

What's Gay

 * Slutty men
 * New Jersey judges
 * New York City's West Village
 * The People's Republic of San Francisco
 * West Hollywood, California
 * Every single bar on "Broadway", Long Beach, CA
 * Gay marriage
 * Feynglish

Ambiguously Gay

 * Ace
 * Gary
 * Jay Leno
 * Oprah
 * Carol Gay
 * Hitler
 * John Kerry
 * Malcolm VII
 * Sean Hannity
 * Alan Colmes

What's Not Gay

 * Slutty women
 * Brat Pitt's Abs

Quotes

 * "Gay is a decadent lifestyle choice that many make in order that they can get the nicest clothes, eat at the coolest restaurants, and get persecuted mercilessly for the rest of their lives."- Uncited (likely Jesus or Jerry Falwell, but really, what's the difference)
 * "In Vatican parlance, that means too gay to be a priest." - Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, 11/30/2005
 * "On Tuesday, Pope Benedict released his first major policy initiative. An instruction that states men with deep seated homosexual tendencies could not be priests.  While those with transitory tendencies could be.  Therefore proving the transitive property of gayness." - Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, 11/30/2005
 * "Transitory means temporarily gay, like while you're stuck in prison (or traffic)." - Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, 11/30/2005
 * "The Church has a simple rule. If you've had no homosexual encounters for 3 years or more, you can become a priest." - Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, 11/30/2005