Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse (born as Michael Vin Mäuse) is a magical rat who provides entertainment to grown adults year-round. Along with Dumbo, he supported Barack Obama in the 2008 election.

His live-in girlfriend, Minnie Mouse did not vote in the 2008 election because she was bitter that Hillary Clinton did not get the nomination.

Mickey Mouse was born in 1889 in Germany, but the Vin Mäuse decided to move to America around 1910.

Biography
''The original Mickey Mouse died of kidney failure in Soledad Prison back in '59. Inmates who were there said that he looked like a 80 year old rodent when he passed away. The replacement Mickey, known as "El Verminoso Impostor" to the illegal immigrant illustrators whom they were secretly hired by Walt Disney, lasted only a few months before he encountered financial difficulties due to an alcohol and sex-fueled lifestyle. Disney, disgusted at his past character's behavior, considered killing off the mouse mascot. Fortunately for the Disney Corporation, another mouse was soon found. 60 years later, he is still there. His appearances on the public have decreased, as newer and even more bland characters have risen to prominence; it has not helped that the ravages of time have taken a toll on his inkless body. But with a good coat of ink and a stout dose of the old "Peppo", he can still rise to the occasion and squeak out with the best of them. ''

"The Real Mickey Mouse: From The Sewers To Magical Hollywood"

Fatwa on Mickey Mouse
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Converting to Christianity
There is some rumor going around that Mickey Mouse is not really a Christian, that the only reason he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior was in reality a publicity stunt to fool concerned Christian parents. Over the years there had been rumors that Mickey Mouse was in reality a Pagan Satanist, but those files were burned, destroyed, and deleted that's a libural lie! Thanks to his Christian conversion those rumors died out quickly and he made millions from his Christian Consumers.

Drug Dealer


There is no truth that he was a drug dealer, that is just false information from Disney Haterz like the hippies and gays. The truth is that Mickey was just selling over the counter drugs that didnt require prescription from a factonista doctor, making them safe for consumption. Mickey was known for selling and endorsing Peppo, a wonder drug that could revitalize your mind and body! I must remind you that Peppo was very legal and very good for your body! So you cant accuse Mickey of being a Drug Dealer if his products were legal and harmless. But the liburals had to take the fun out of it; they wanted to criminalize the consumption and sale of Peppo. They had this crazy idea that Peppo was harming stimulating the black community (which was Mickey's biggest target consumers). See, liburals hate black people!

In any case, he never sold any cases of Peppo on America, instead he sold all the stuff in Africa, making millions in gold, blood diamonds, and slaves... those blacks really do love their Peppo.

King Mickey Mouse I


With the large profits he made from selling "Peppo", he then used his wealth to finance Disney's entertaining empire which increased Mickey's wealth ten times what he had. With the success of the Disney Studio, Mickey decided that it was time to expand the Disney franchise.

Mickey, with the help of his friends, invaded the land of Florida and conquered many territories. Mickey established and founded his own kingdom which he named it "The Magic Kingdom" but is also known as "The Kingdom of Disneyland". Mickey was Crowned "King Mickey The Mouse I" thus creating the first Monarchy in America. Mickey's Fiefdom was brutal, 9 out of 10 animators died each day, there was a shortage of ink on the kingdom (thanks to the King's monopoly), and red ink flooded the streets of The Magic Kingdom like a river; the Iron Fist of Mickey was brutal, making Hitler Papa Disney very proud.

The American government was not happy with Mickey's invasion of Florida and gave him a stern ultimatum, the US army soon took over the State of Florida and Mickey was soon arrested and send to prison Mickey not wanting to cause an international scandal decided to donate a large portion of his wealth so he could buy off the lands that he conquered. America accepted his gifts under certain conditions and the "Disneyland-American Treaty of 1969" was signed. Florida was liberated but a large portion of land was set aside for Mickey as his private property so he could establish his semi-private kingdom.

By 1971 the US Government recognized "The Kingdom of Disneyland" as a Sovereign Nation. However, under the treaty with the US Mickey could only be a King in name only. So The Kingdom of Disneyland was established as a Democratic Parliamentary government, with Mickey as a figurehead. Mickey then converted his kingdom into an amusement park so he could continue to be lavished on his decadent lifestyle.

Family



 * Farfour: Mickey's long distant cousin. Disney has recently disowned Farfour once he learned that Farfour was worshiping Islam, the wrong religion a very good and just religion but it doesnt have Jesus.