Delaware

Delaware is a really boring state that is somewhere between... some states, and, uh, well no one really cares where it is because no one cares about it. It is said to be "The First State" by some fact-crazy history books, but this is crap because anybody's gut would say that a state that is this unknown cannot be known for being the first anything, except in boredom.

It is owned by a French company called DuPont whose family has been known to have incest with each other, which is a totally cool way to keep money in your family because John Stossel said so.

If you pass through I-95, which is the only way in or out of Delaware, you might see a building or two. This is Wilmington, Delaware's largest city.

George Washington nearly fell asleep and drowned when trying to cross a river named after this boring state. Thankfully, he found out that striking a dramatic pose where you put one foot on the front of the boat and point forward is a good way to stay awake.

This state is featured in Stephen Colbert's book "The Top 50 States that are Destroying America" which made the tourism industry skyrocket 100%, bringing the tourist count from 3 to 6. It is tied for 32 with Illinois.

Discovery
Delaware was founded when child colonists from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Maryland needed someplace to play catch with a wiffle ball, and needed a small enough area to throw the ball between each other. The land that became Delaware was originally an imaginary lava pit created by these children in the wiffle ball catch game.

History
At the Constitutional Convention in 1787, all of the states were very reluctant to ratify the the proposed Constitution. When Delaware finally made the decision to, all the other states felt emasculated that the crappiest state of all was the first to ratify so they rushed to be second.

Later, in 1837, some guy named Chuck owned a chicken farm.

Famous Delawareos
Joe Biden, Senator and television personality