Stigmata

The sign of true Heavenly devotion, stigmata are God's way of marking his most favorite humans in the image of Jesus - post-crucifixion, when he was at his most awesomest!

"Blessed are the bleeders, for they shall keep the bandage industry healthy!"

Here's how it works: when God sees someone who is genuinely holy and devout, he sends down an angel while they're asleep. The angel, armed with a large rusty old nail, knocks the lucky recipient out with a roofie, and then gets all "stabby" on their hands and feet.

The result is another satisfied customer!