Pell Grant



A Pell Grant is one of the most fiendish instrument of communism ever devised to bedevil the free market of America. Invented by an East Coast Liberal named Claiborne deBorda Pell, who, despite his all-American name was a red-blooded commie who wasted precious tax-cutting time finding new and inventive ways to distribute the wealth of hard-working Americans to fund the drug-habits of the welfare-dependent children of hippies.

Several generations of hippies have cluttered the halls of American universities on Pell grants perpetuating socialism, communism, art and science while ignoring the sanctity of home schools and the call to teach the controversy.

The Greatest President Ever was very close to ending the practice of handing out Pell grants like so many syringes, but was thwarted by Satan's handmaiden, who did her master's bidding in the 109th Congress.

Just you wait until Pee is elected, he'll finally put an end to your nefarious wealth-spreading!