Australia

Australia is a big island. It's the coolest country other than America. It's like America, if America could choose to remove Canada and Mexico in exchange for making the Mid-West inhospitable to all life, and instead of Native Americans it has Aborigines and kangaroos.

Native Flora and Fauna
However, Australia faces a threat from Koala bears no less severe than the threat faced here in America from ursines. Koalas may appear to be cute and cuddly but they are vicious killers who are out to destroy Western Civilization.

Australian Culture
Australians also eat Vegemite instead of apple pie. Australia was actually created when the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland sent all their prisoners to Australia and left them there with only a bottle of beer. After years and years the radiation of Australia mixed with the beer bottles that were left on the floor created the Australia that we know and love today. The radiation in Australia actually causes death to the average human. But the chemicals in the beers of Australia cause them to stay alive (meaning that all Australians are really zombies). But the side effects of the beer cause slurred words, funny accents, and eventually the invention of stupid words (such as "crikey").

The national past time is to do as little as possible whilst maintaining the highest possible salary; this is so much the case that many Australians consider it a sport. This game is played in many countries around the world. However, if it ever makes it to the Olympics, then Australia will certainly take the gold medal every single time.

Women are known as sheilas and men are known as blokes in Australia. Australia is also the only country in the world to eat the two animals shown on its National Crest. Australian farmers are a good breed, not humping sheep like their New Zealand counterparts.

Government, Such As It Is
The current Prime Minister of Australia is John Howard, who supports our president, George W. Bush. In fact, rumor has it that he's even allowed to sleep in the president's bedroom on state visits to the White House.

Australia is a member of the C.O.W.

Chief Exports

 * Crocodile hunters

Notable Australians

 * Olivia Newton-John
 * Steve Irwin