Neil Young

Neil Young is a dirty-ass hippie musician who has not bathed since 1976. His music has influenced an entire generation of lazy, unintelligent pacifists like himself who are afraid of work, soap, and American Patriotism. Young has released countless albums throughout his career, none of which are worth listening to due to his whiny nasally singing and piss-poor guitar playing.

Young was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada, but has spent his career bitching about American policies. On May 2, 2006, his latest album, Living With War, was released. No one has bought it. Lack of record sales can possibly be attributed to the fact that most people assume that Neil Young had died of malaria by now or that it's not 1975 anymore and the people who bought his albums back then aren't high anymore.

On August 17, 2006, Young appeared on The Colbert Report and was interviewed by host Stephen Colbert about many topics, including the War in Iraq and music. At the end of the interview segment, Young attempted to engage Colbert in joining him in singing his recent song, "Let's Impeach The President." Colbert was so outraged by this trickery that he interrupted Young's song and sent the show to commerical. Off-camera, Colbert bitch-slapped Young out of his chair and stabbed him in the nutsack with his lightsaber. Young is not expected to be asked back to The Report.