Subprime Mortgage

Subprime mortgage

Definition
A “Subprime mortgage” is actually a “Supreme Mortgage”. The two terms are interchangeable.[citation needed]

Background
In the aftermath of 9/11, the The Greatest President Ever lowered taxes and commonsensical mortgage approval processes in order to kick-start the economy. By His gracious hand, he deemed that anyone (ANYONE!) could own a home in the United States of America, regardless of downpayment. This act spurned the greatest surge of false ecomony spending in recent history. Even though wages were eroding in comparison to the Consumer Price Index, freedom loving Americans were buying homes with 108% equity to fair market value and watching “Anchorman” in BluRay 6.1 surround sound on 42” plasma TVs with the furnace set at 82 degrees in the basement den. A damned better place to be in than a cold, dark cave somewhere between Pakistan and that Otherplaceistan. Take that, Barack Hussein Osama!

The Meltdown
Things were going along just fine, thankyouverymuch, until that liberal bastard Al Gore showed his PowerPoint presentation on Global Warming on his iMac and scared everyone shitless. As soon as he did that, people bought into | Al Gore’s Travelling Global Warming Show and stopped consuming.