Oatmeal

OATMEAL

Contradictory to popular belief, oatmeal was not invented by a Quaker dude who looks a lot like George Washington in the 1770s. He did steal the recipe invented by an atheist by the name of Steve N. Koolbear. Steve did not like Quakers. So he kicked them out of the country. The Quaker dude became a frivolous lawsuit lawyer and sued Koolbear. Koolbear won. But Steve lost the recipe in a bet (Quakers weren't supposed to gamble but this guy did and won). Koolbear won in the end by proving that Quakers were lozers.

OATMEAL stands for OUT! Athiests Turn aMerica Against Lozers.