Iranian Directorate

George W. Bush created the Iranian Directorate in March 2006 as an extension of the highly-praised Office of Special Plans. As Wikiality readers may know, the OSP brought to light Saddam Hussein's huge stockpiles of WMD, his hand-in-glove operating relationship with Al Qaeda, and his extensive involvement in the Attacks On America.

All of the OSP's intelligence on Iraq has been borne out by comprehensive review boards comprised of Dick Cheney's hunting dog, Patches.

Structure
Like the OSP, the Iranian Directorate is run by an undersecretary at the Department of Defense -- in this case Eric Edelman, who holds Douglas Feith's old job. Like the OSP, the Iranian Directorate employs Abram N. Shulsky, John Trigilio, and Ladan Archin.

It is a great comfort to know that the same people who worked so hard to get good intelligence on Iraq are doing America the same favor with regard to Iran.

Goals and Philosophy
Wikiality reporters contacted Mr. Edelman directly to ask about the Iranian Directorate's role in the intelligence-gathering community.


 * Wikiality: Good afternoon, Mr. Edelman. I wonder if you would start by telling us how the ID relates to the CIA and the Army Intelligence organizations.


 * Edelman: Well, our job is to fairly and wisely balance the propaganda spewed out daily by left-leaning, liberal, socialist, subversive organizations like the CIA and the US Army.


 * Wikiality: The CIA is a liberal subversive organization?


 * Edelman: Yes, of course! They still deny that Saddam had thousands of nuclear missiles. They deny it just because no trace of them have been found, which is clearly liberal-think. Truth is not fact, truth is what we know regardless of the facts.


 * Wikiality: Mr. Edelman, what is the Iranian Directorate's philosophy with regards to intelligence-gathering?


 * Edelman: We will follow wherever the information leads. Now, Iran is building nuclear bombs. As long as the evidence leads us to that conclusion, then we are fine.


 * Wikiality: ...And if there is no evidence that Iran is building nuclear bombs?


 * Edelman: Then we manufacture some evidence, that's all. Look, we already know what's true, so we don't need to go poking around after the so-called facts.


 * Wikiality: The Atomic Energy Commission has never found any evidence that Iran is building bombs.


 * Edleman: Exactly! And we know that Iran is building bombs, therefore we don't use the AEC reports. The CIA has no evidence that Iran is building bombs, and so we don't use the CIA reports. Why? Simply because we know what is true, and we don't need the evidence.


 * Wikiality: America can rest safely knowing that men like you are telling us ordinary citizens what to think.


 * Edleman: Thank you. We certainly try. You can pick up your clothes at the main entrance, by the metal-detector.

But we wondered about the Bush administration's plans. Since they have a clear picture of Iran's intent, albeit one that does not rely on facts, what do they plan to do about it?