Greatest Depression

Origins
The Great Depression was actually started by men all over the world realizing their inadequacies compared to Chuck Norris and becoming depressed, and all of the ugly women in the world realizing they couldn’t sleep with him and becoming depressed.

Effects

 * No rubber was produced for 15 years.
 * Liberals were created as a result of the lack of rubber, this is the only mistake Chuck Norris has ever admitted to making. However, he then killed the person he admitted this secret to seconds later.  Stephen Colbert somehow uncovered this truthfullness some 70 years later.
 * Tom Cruise went crazy and then proceeded to hide his insanity for many years while making great American films like A Few Good Men and Top Gun (actually based on the life story of George W Bush). However, he revealed his commie ways when he made War of the Worlds, excluding both George W Bush, who actually ran the aliens off the planet, and Chuck Norris who killed them in space.
 * Stephen Colbert had to drink cold chocolate for three years. He has never found his love for chocolate since.

Lasting Effects

 * A comic book based on the adventures of Chuck Norris and George W Bush, including crippling FDR, was made. It was called, "Captain America."
 * A commie hippie liberal has attempted to ursurp this legacy by claiming he is the real Captain America. Even though everyone knows that Captain America would never disagree with our greatest president or be named Steve Rogers.