Hula



Hula is the national dance of the exotic island nation of Hawaii and contains many ritualized elements that the restless natives used in lieu of verbal communication!

Origin & History
After the Great Flood, God placed one race of natives on a volcano in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

How To Dance The Hula
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This section will outline in great and exacting detail how the brown-skinneded, naked island heathens perform the hula.

Basic Variations
The hula can be performed alone or in large groups around the rotting carcass of a recently sacrificed pig.

Clothing Options & Accessories

 * ideas: grass skirt, necklace of flowers (lei), crown of thorn-less flowers, conch shell, tiki idol

Hula Facts

 * like all dancing, hula is considered by law enforcement officials to be soliciting for sex
 * clockwise hula is the hula of shame