Real Americans



Real Americans are people who are God-fearing compassionate conservative christians who love the Baby Jesus and America. They spend lots of time watching TV with their family, talking about how nice the things on the commercials are, and following the President's orders. To relax, they make babies and shop for cheap things at Wal-Mart.

Real Americans

 * Stephen Colbert
 * Barry Goldwater
 * George W. Bush
 * Ronald Reagan
 * Tom DeLay
 * George Washington
 * Hulk Hogan
 * Toby Keith
 * Jack Bauer
 * Chuck Norris
 * Ricky Bobby
 * Cal Naughton Jr.
 * Bill O'Reilly
 * Joe Arpaio
 * Rush Limbaugh

Lies About Real Americans
Liberals say Real Americans hate people based on a particularly unGodly trait:
 * Gays (even though we apparently have them in the House of Representatives),
 * Women (We don't hate them, they just can't be real americans because they lack a penis),
 * Blacks (we can't even see color),
 * Hispanics (well, thats true, unless they provide the Taco Bell)

External Tubes

 * Biblical Basis For Conservative Righteousness!