Penguins

Penguins were created by God and instruced by Stephen in the art of bear-killing at an undisclosed time. They are masters of stealth, are as dangerous as ninjas, and occasionally kill bears by filling the godless killing machines with lead from weapons they stole from scientists. Penguins are NOT a type of bird, and therefore should not be eaten. They are our friends. Do not eat, shoot, or feed the penguins. Worship them as if they served the Baby Jesus, because they do.