Hipsters

Hipsters may or may not be the most ironic demographic in the world.



What Is A Hipster?
Hipsters are often former Emos who have jumped ship to the next dying trend. They tend to wear long brightly colored scarves even in the summer. Hipsters have successfully strip-mined the 1970's and 80's for pop culture references and icons which are used to impress other hipsters by acquiring the newest and coolest toys and fads.

Impressing other hipsters is a the sole motivational force behind such pop culture archaeology. Whether it is discovering the newest and most obscure indie rock band first, or the being the first to wear the wittiest and gayest new clothing accessory, hipsters are constantly trying to outdo and one up each other in their quest to be the most hip and "unique" person around.

Signs You Are Standing Next To A Hipster

 * He/she is flashing around his/her iPhone by not letting it be in their pockets for more than 15 seconds.


 * Has something with Skeletor's image on it.


 * Has either sunglasses on (regardless of time of day), or refuses to look at something directly.

Where Do Hipsters Come From?
Hipsters are migrants that have moved from the suburbs into chic downtown environments. Here they are closer to their independent stores in which they purchase trinkets that are the only measure of self-worth they have in life.

How To Approach A Hipster
Under no circumstances call a hipster a hipster! Hipsters do not believe that they are indeed hipsters, and any suggestion of such will set them off into a spazz.

give them at least 5 seconds before announcing that you are taking a photo of them before you actually do. Hipsters need these valuable seconds to pose in a way that expresses an indifference to your picture.

The Hipster Voting Record
If there is one thing we should encourage hipsters to do is vote. Their sense of uniqueness in combination with their trendsetting ideals lead them vote directly against what their liberal educated brains tell them to. For example: Not only did hipsters account for 13% of the McCain U.S. popular vote in the 2008 election, but they aided in the election of The Greatest President Ever by not voting for his opponent. Instead they voted for some creepy hippie stoner guy.

External Tubes

 * Stuff Hipsters don't like - Scare away those damn hipsters right out of your coffee shop with these things.


 * More hipster news - Don't ironically click it.