Halo

Halo is an interactive combat simulator that is geared towards teaching children how to fight, specifically against bears. Using a variety of weapons, children can learn the tactics and weapons knowledge they need to wage war on beardom.

Plot
After the success of Al Gore's movie "An Inconvenient Truth", Global Warming became a known fact. In order to save the worlds top people (Stephen Colbert, George Bush and Katie Couric, for reproducing purposes) were put onto a cruise ship called the Pillar of Autumn in search of New Earth, discovered by Niel DeGrasse Tyson. When suddenly the ship by attacked by Rosie O'Donell and the rest of the View, who maliciously killed the rest of the crew, with the exception of Stephen Colbert who was sleeping in his dieseled power hyperbolic hybernation sex chamber, all the while wearing his anti-nail suit.

Bears


Because the liberal government would have you believe that the virtual killing of bears is "immoral", Stephen had to make some slight changes to the game's enemy. An acute observer could catch the similarity.

Master Chief


The mascot for this combat simulator is Master Chief, a soldier with a cool metallic suit/mask. No one has ever seen his face. It's believed that the Master Chief is Steven Colbert but this is a myth. Stephen is far more skilled and brilliant to take years to destroy the Covenant.

Human Weapons

 * Sniper Rifle (bears are dead before they know what hit them)
 * SMG (although some think that this means "Sub-Machine Gun", it actually means "Savage Monster Gutter")
 * Battle Rifle (fires in three round bursts, one in the head, two in the groin)
 * Rocket Launcher (good for making bear soup)

The Enemy
The enemy is known as the Covenant, whose name represents the covenant between the bears and the liberals, whom Stephen predicts will join forces eventually. Stephen also predicts that after the liberals letting the bears reign free for so long, the bears will eventually develop weaponry.

Enemy Units

 * Elite (were thought to be bears but it is revealed in Halo 3 that they were actually spies sent by Jesus to infiltrate the covenant)
 * Grunts (cubs)
 * Brutes (grizzlies)
 * Jackals (liberals)
 * Prophets (pandas)
 * Drones (bear-liberal insect hybrids)

The Flood
Another force at work in the games is the "Flood". The Flood represents AIDS, which will eventually evolve to become a living, breathing parasitic organism. The Flood infects both bears and humans, and turns them into AIDS zombies, who spit liquid AIDS at other people. AIDS isn't an STD anymore.



Best International Halo Warriors
The best International Halo 3 players met in Orange County, California in order to determine the top 5 world wide Halo 3 players at the International Major League Halo 3 Gaming Tournament. The 3,400 players fought for 40 hours strait and the victor was Kent Ames. Other notable winners:
 * Gandpdonkeyshow
 * Basebaii
 * Alexman07