Apple Pie

Origin
Apple Pie is a delicious American treat, and is only enjoyed by Republicans. It is stated that shortly after the American Revolution, Jesus Christ had come back to our realm with an apple pie and a quill. He used this quill to sign the Declaration of Independence and The US Constitution under the pseudonym "John Hancock". After the founding fathers had tasted this divine pastry, they had come to the conclusion that whomever could have made a treat that was "sooooo good and went straight to your thighs" must be a witch or the devil. They then proceded to burn Jesus in the name of Christianity.