Iowa

Iowa is the 29th state of the greatest country in the world. Alphabetically, Iowa falls between Indiana and Kansas.

Iowa, also known as Minnesota's Spain, was a state created just for the purpose of growing corn, because everybody loves nice, wholesome corn. That's how the other Midwestern states all feed their cows.

Our hats are off to Iowa, but that's all that is going on.

Settlement
Iowa was settled by white people after America's Great Emancipator, Abraham Lincoln, killed off all the Indians in the Black Hawk Wars.

Hordes of Germans flocked to Iowa to farm its rich, fertile loesses. More Germans fled to Iowa during the Civil War when they were being persecuted in the South for speaking damn furriner talk.

Amish people also established colonies to make refridgerators in Amana near the old capitol of Iowa City.

After the Civil War, veterans were granted free land in Iowa.

History
A long time ago a bunch of railway barons pushed track through the prairies, and they put up a capitol in Iowa City, but then so many hippies came to check out the Peaceful Fool headshop that they moved it to Des Moines.

Iowa Today
Iowa is famous for being the second whitest state in the Republic, although more and more Mexicans and Bosnians are immigrating to work in dangerous, dirty and difficult jobs that Iowans themselves don't seem to want to do such as slaughter pigs and work construction in freezing temperatures.

Tom Vilsack has been the Democratic governor of Iowa ever since Canada moved from the 23 hour day to the 24 hour day. He has made strides in never ever building a dyke around Quad Cities nor improving K-12 education.

Iowa is a young state filled with guys who enjoy homoerotic sports such as wrestling and women who enjoy playing borderline personality disorder wife. However, the state has a hard time keeping these young people from moving to Hollywood to realize their full crazy-making potential.

Old nucular silos dot the country-side of Iowa which have now been refurbished as housing for a new wave of war veterans.

Iowa Landmarks
The tallest structure in Iowa is the Corn Palace, which is constructed entirely out of potatoes.

The State Capitol dome is painted in gold leaf by one really crazy geezer.

The University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls served as an orphanage during the Civil War.

The covered bridges of Madison County, south of Des Moines, were the setting of the famous book and movie, Bridges of Madison County.

Iowa State Fair is one of the largest state fairs in the US.

Iowa State University is home to the Jet Propulsion Lab and agricultural research on Mars. Must be some way to grow pigs up there! Yes, with robots, that's it.

Famous Iowuns

 * Iowa is the birthplace of John Wayne (a true American hero, even if his first name really was Marion, Wayne was all man.)


 * Dear Abbey and her sister Ann Landers both lived in Sioux City and were two very famous morons who for decades gave daily advice to millions of other lesser morons in their newspaper columns.


 * Johnny Carson was born in Iowa but died in repeats


 * God made an appearance as a University of Iowa Hawkeye basketball player in 1999-2000


 * The 5 Sullivan Brothers who all died in the same attack on their ship in the Pacific during WWII came from Waterloo


 * That Charles Manson woman is also from Waterloo


 * Some bigshot Olympic wrestler is also from Waterloo.