Scotch

Scotch: somebody from Scotland. "Scotch" is the preferred word for the nationality of Scotland. It is decisive and bold, like shall. It is also the name for a type of alcohol which the Scotch frequently get smashed on. According to reports, any Irish person who attempts to drink scotch whiskey will instantly suffer a potatoe famine and be widely persecuted and forced to either assimilate with the cultures and languages of Great Britain, emigrate to America, or die and go to Hell. Fortunately, any Irishman or Irishwoman or Irishchild (they're savages over there, really) can now plead Britishness and get away with drinking scotch scot-free.