The Moon

The moon is the 51st state ofAmerica. It was claimed for America by the space conquistador/explorer Buzz Aldrin.



Original Moon Natives
The primeval inhabitants of the moon were little green cheese eaters, much like the French. When Aldrin and Armstrong first landed on the moon with their 100% pure American Space Vehicle, the simple moon people began to worship them as gods. Armstrong and Aldrin, true American heroes, dubbed these lifeforms "The Space Race."

Early Moon Life
In the beginning, life was hard. The astronauts knew nothing growing crops in the arid moon soil, and the cold winter like season made their teeth all chattery. A kind hearted but godless heathen (and very uneducated) moon creature taught them how to grow maize by planting space fish with the seeds. Aldrin quickly hung the creature for treason and as a lesson to all the other inferior moon beings. His famous and heart-lifting quote still lives with us today:

''Its called corn in America you morons. You better get used to it too, because I claim this land for the King of America.''

And all the astronauts laughed and laughed as the moon creature choked its last maize eating breath. And then there was a great feast.

Early Moon discoveries
It was discovered early on that the moon had 1/6th the gravity that America has.

The 21st Century Moon
As you can see by these photos the moon has come a long way since the early pioneers. Everything is much more America like now. The kids can run and play in the street without fear of attack by moon creatures, but there is always the danger of terrorism. We must be ever vigilant even in our 51st state. Remember, the way to fight terrorism is by eating out and going to the mall. There is nothing that scares a terrorist more than consumerism. Buying is like kryptonite to those guys.