Mauling By Proxy

Mauling By Proxy (a shunder)
 * 1) when any Godless Killing Machine chooses to assault one's person by devouring one's book

The Proper Revenge
The only acceptable revenge for Mauling By Proxy is to make a "Bear Smoothie" with the following ingredients:
 * the desire for revenge
 * a copy of Berenstein Bears and The Trouble With Chores
 * a few bananas
 * some more strawberries
 * a measure of apple juice
 * a working blender
 * a commercial break