Buffalo, New York

Buffalo, New York is the largest city in the metro Buffalo area. Rick James used to live there. Thankfully, the buffalo, an early form of grizzly bear, is not native to the city. Buffalo is America's first line of defense against a Canadian invasion.

On October 13, 2006, an especially freaky storm (or, as Rick James would say, a "super freak" storm) hit Buffalo, resulting in several feet of snow as well as countless destroyed trees and power lines. This was God's way of temporarily eliminating wasteful government spending on programs such as garbage pickup and public schools.

Much like the Saginaw Spirit, the official hockey team of both Stephen Colbert and Jesus Christ, the Buffalo Sabres consistently defeat godless liberal Canadian hockey clubs like the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Buffalo, New York seriously wants to be featured on the Colbert Report and to do so will gladly bribe Stephen Colbert with the following:

1. A bucket of wings 2. A bucket of hot wings 3. A bucket of suicide wings 4. Celery