Great Bear Incident

The Great Bear Incident of 2005 was a horrific stage in the history of Manitoba. Late in 2005, Thousands of man eating bears filled the street of Winnipeg, to protest against Canadians channels picking up the Colbert Report. The bears were without mercy as they tore across the streets like a destructive plague.

It was said that thousands were mauled and the city was in a chaos. The bears however, were barely challenged, and people did not know what to do.

The Left Wing Madness
It is rumored that the large masses of Manitoban Liberals and the bears joined forces. This terrifing alliance made by the crazed Left Wing hippies has been called The Left Wing Madness. The Liberals have even been said to have hunted down all bear-haters, and had them tortured by watching clips of John Stewart on the Daily Show.

Colbert the Savior
Once Stephen had heard of this, he came to stop the massacre. He used the the newly discovered poison, Kool Aid. While the poison didn't kill the bears, it acted as a hallucinogen, and the bears began to see John Ashcroft everywhere, and died of simultaneous heart attacks. The people of Winnipeg feasted on bear meat for many weeks.