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=Archives= The last three archives:
 * Archive #173
 * Archive #174
 * Archive #175

=Nancy Pelosi Accuses CIA Of Lying To Congress= Here is the link for a transcript of her statement and answers to questions from the press.




 * "Told you you'd get caught. But I'm still here! Buwahahahahaha!" --DorkVader 16:09, 20 May 2009 (UTC)


 * I hereby swear I will be the only san francisco liberal who will hold any high office for a century as a result of my failing to make life even slightly hard for Bush. --Grazon 01:42, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

=Karl Rove Leaves After Interviewing With Federal Prosecutors=


 * (insert pig-noises here) --Atenea del Sol 17:34, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * "Okay, um, let me get a large number 9 with fries, a number 6 with extra sauce, and the entire contents of your politcal prisoners cell." --DorkVader 16:10, 20 May 2009 (UTC)


 * "Ice Creeeeam!!!!!!!!!!!!" --Sneakers 05:06, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

=Norwegian Songwriter Wins Eurovision 2009=

=Filly Wins Preakness=

=Private Collection Of Torture Devices Goes Up For Auction= A portion of the proceeds will go to human rights groups such as Amnesty International


 * Dick Cheney's private collection -- Mutopis 02:54, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

=First Lady Hussein Obama Delivers Commencement Address At California University=

=President Hussein Obama Delivers Commencement Address At Notre Dame=


 * To all you students I say thank you for being civilized and to all you grandstanding protesters I say GTFO. --Grazon 03:35, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

=Lithuania Elects First Female President= Her name is Dalia Grybauskaite



=Hussein Obama's CIA Director Defends Agency's Actions Under Previous Administration= Leon Panetta defends the CIA's actions under The Greatest Administration Ever with oddly-worded statement



=Bill Clinton Named UN Special Envoy To Haiti=


 * "Giggity giggity goo. Awwwwright." --DorkVader 16:12, 20 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Clinton thinking to himself: "Look at all the black people! I finally feel cool!" --Sneakers 10:53, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

=47-Million-Year-Old Primate Fossil Revealed=


 * "Okay, so what I did was, I took this big laser and zapped a monkey. Then I came up with a reeeeeally big number, and BOOM! Fake evolution!" --DorkVader 16:13, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * EDITOR'S NOTE: The creature standing next to Dr. Jorn Hurum is New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and not a 47-million-year-old fossil. Wikiality.com regrets any confusion from the image title.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 19:59, 21 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Where's Nicholas Cage when you need him? --Sneakers 10:52, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

=President Hussein Obama Announces New Fuel Efficiency And Emissions Standards= At left is a file photo showing a California freeway during morning rush hour traffic, on the right is Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm and California Arnold Schwarzenegger with President Hussein Obama in the Rose Garden

=Mayor Of Small Montana Town Wants Gitmo Detainees In Local Prison=

=Family of Geese On I-25 In Denver Led To Safety=


 * One would think that after the Miracle on the Hudson, the Denver police would stop harboring domestic terrorists. --Sneakers 05:05, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

=Two American Leaders Deliver Separate Speeches On America's National Security=

=President Hussein Obama Addresses Graduates Of The Naval Academy= Here he is with John McCain IV



=Sailors Visit New York City During Fleet Week=

=Regimental Goat Retires=