Rand Paul

Rand Paul was clone in a libertarian cloning facility on a project known as "Mini-me", she was suppose to be born as a healthy baby girl and to be originally be named Ayn Rand Paul but instead they got this freak of nature he was born as a healthy libertarian boy with the free market blessed spirit of his father.

Small Government
Everyone knows that government cant do anything right and a bigger government is the #2 greatest threat against the free market, which is why he supports the patriotic forces known as the 9/11 truthers to stop the Bush's Administration Obama's Administration from turning us all commie hippies. Once The Free Market is in Power it will Fix all of our Problems!

Medicare & Medicaid
He is against the Libural Welfare Program that promotes entitlements and laziness

On Society
According with Rand Paul, the Free Market is the guiding force of our lives and if the Free Market wants to discriminate against non-white people then who are we to question the Almighty Free Market?

Immigration
More and more babies are being born from Welfare Queens and these mini-leaches are stealing from the pockets of the tax payers! But not anymore, Rand will support a bill that will eliminate this insidious loophole so these Welfare Toddlers will stop from suckling from the tit of the Federal Government.

Rand proposes a great plan from stopping illegals, an underground electric fence. They will never see it coming!

Restoration of The Constitution
Rand Paul has promised to restore the Constitution back to it's roots and he will do so from the gut. He doesn't need to know what's written on it, he believes he knows whats written on it, and that is Truthiness at its finest.

The 1924 Indian Citizenship Act
Thats right, Rand Paul wants to Eliminate this libural law so we can send those Injuns back to China.

Foreign Policy

 * Whatever happens outside the US is not our problem... unless we are talking about helping Israel or invading Iran.

Series of Tubes

 * Sarah Palin supports Rand Paul
 * Rand Paul to rescue BP from communism
 * Libural Media twisting Rand's words
 * Rand Paul takes libural media
 * Rand Paul newest Black Friend
 * Good News! Civil Rights could be unconstitutional!
 * Rand Paul Newest Plan to save The Free Market
 * Rand Paul fully embraces The Republican Party, says goodbye to silly Libertarianism
 * Rand Paul rejects Canadian threat
 * Rand Paul gives a speech: "I have a dream that one day on the golden hills of Wall Street, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of the Free Market"
 * Liberals are racist against me!
 * Rand Paul grows some balls! Abandons silly Libertarians
 * Rand Paul certifies his own Presidential Certificate of Electiviness and Medical Doctorate
 * Rand Paul Slandered again!!
 * Rand Paul Demands Lazy Greedy Welfare Queens to Get a Paycut and Jubs!
 * Rand Paul to pardon Rand Paul
 * Rand Paul supports homeschool and flat earth theories
 * Rand Paul supports Middle-earth Theory
 * Rand Paul being slandered by the Gotcha Media!!
 * Rand Paul warns Citizens: "Beware The Aisle of The Mall" "Veni Vidi Vingnut"
 * Obama will bankrupt BP!!
 * Fureign Policy is for fureigners anyway
 * My Father in Law is addicted to Government Handouts! This needs to end now!
 * Government regulations will scare away trill seekers