Illinois

Illinois (Pronounced ILL-uh-NOISE) was founded by Abraham Lincoln in 1800. In 1955 Richard J. Daley led his troops into the capital of Chicago, and declared himself absolute ruler. While the people are able to elect government officials, all laws must be approved by the Daley family, (or Oprah if they are busy).

Elected Officials
As of this writing, no one elected to office in Illinois has ever NOT gone to jail.

Geography
Illinois is comprised of two parts, Chicagoland and the rest. Chicagoland represents the city of Chicago and the area the Daley monarchy has taken as their own. The “collar counties” rebel with their only power, voting. The Daley Machine is very liberal, hates the baby Jesus and encourages abortions of all Chicago female residents. These collar counties such as DuPage, Kane and McHenry try to vote Republican. All politicians in Chicagoland are a member of the Daley family so this rebellion does not work. The “Republicans”, the collar counties vote for, are Daleys pretending to be Republicans. Once in power these “Republicans” are not pro-life, encourage taxes for schools, treat poor people with respect and get indicted for bribery (which is a true trait of a democrat).

Economy
The remainder of the state is rumored to be farmers.