David Letterman

David Letterman is an American televsion talk show host and comedian who serves as a desperate subsitute for 11:30 program among people too poor to afford basic cable. While not completely worthless, due to his decision to feature Stephen Colbert as a guest on a couple of occasions thus far, Letterman clearly lives his life in the shadow of his more prolific timeslot competitor.

Few would confuse his kind of sucking for the gay explosion of awfulness his enemy Jay Leno displays on a constant basis. Letterman atleast lacks canned laughter, black slaves, and is a heterosexual.

Letterman lives in New York City most of the time with his secret girlfriend and adorable bastard son. He is originally from Indiana, a fan of the New York Yankees and has 72 teeth.