Timmy

STEPHEN JR
TIMMY HAS STEPHEN JR!

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Mr Stephen Colbert:

I am writing this to warn you that you have placed Stephen Jr in imminent danger. On last night's show you stated that you were planning to hunt squirrels with WMD's. This statement has angered Timmy. As you are probably unaware Timmy is the one and only squirrel in the world. He has said that if you do not make a formal retraction and apologize to him. he will take matters into his own hands. He is planning on capturing Stephen Jr and holding him hostage until the retraction/apology is made on your show. If you refuse to apologize Stephen Jr will pay the price. This is not a joke, Timmy the squirrel is not happy with you Stephen. Please take my advice, I do not want to see any harm come to Stephen Jr.

Sincerely,

Ronald Robinson, and Alex Nevarez of Lake Superior State University

Since Stephen did not apologize on the air Timmy has taken Stephen Jr. Hostage until the apology is made.

Squirrel
There is only one squirrel in the world. He is immortal and his name is Timmy. Squirrels are evil. Much more intelligent than bears, squirrels are some of the masterminds behind the invasions from bears. They hate liberals and all Democrats. Anyone can notice when visiting Washington D.C. that Timmy is dominating our government. Their favorite pets are bears.

Origins
Timmy is a demigod who has been in existence since the beginning of time, which he created. Since then, Timmy has used bears as his weapon against the government established by Baby Jesus through the The Greatest President EVER!

Squirrels' Strategies
Timmy doesn't need Strategy.

Diet
Unlike republicans, Americans, or Christians, most squirrels are vicious carnivores. Timmy feeds on bear.

Species
The only species of squirrel is TIMMY

THE END!!!

Flying Squirrels
Flying Squirrels are not squirrels. They are squirrel shaped robotic killing machines controlled by Timmy.

Squirrel Supporters
ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO DIE!

Trivia
TIMMY DOES NOT APPROVE OF TRIVIA!!!