Drugs

Drugs are the leading cause of homosexuality in the US.

Drugs lead you straight to hell.

Marijuana
Take a page from our President: talk about doing drugs. Marijuana makes your brain grow hair.

Marijuana was created by Haitian witch doctors and is definetly UN-AMERICAN.

Marijuana is the reason Oregon is so liberal. Even the field mice are high in Oregon.

Effects
The effects of marijuana include laughing, insanity, and Liberalism. Marijuana is so powerful the former president Bill Clinton didn't inhale marijuana yet he still became a charismatic liberal so he could better ravage the country while avoiding insanity. Marijuana has a chemical that, when ingested, causes cancer and homosexuality. Marijuana turned Satan into a liberal. Nuff said.

Drugs also confused Benjamin Franklin into nominating the turkey to be America's bird.

Medical Marijuana - Another Scam Exposed By Stephen
Proponents of medical marijuana need to face it: They are just hiding behind Grandma's oxygen tank. The real reason why they're pushing pro-pot legislation is so they can suck on a Thai stick and watch the walls begin to pulse and breathe. Denying reality in favor of meaningless euphoria is UN-AMERICAN. These people need to find a picture of Baby Jesus, wave the Flag and pledge allegiance to Pfizer!!

George Bush
Our president has been known not to smoke Marijuana; he's TOO DAMN AMERICAN! During Junior high he was not caught in the bathroom stall with his pants down while smoking out of a bong. He did not end up burning down half of the high school, just like he didn't go to Iraq.

Stephen's Names For Marijuana

 * Dank Ass Shit
 * Grass
 * Mary Jane
 * Pot
 * Bud
 * Dro (when he's with his black friend Alan)

Types of Marijuana

 * juicy fruit
 * White Rhino
 * Black Widow
 * Train Wreck
 * Maui Waui
 * Winter Koning
 * NLX
 * 7 Seconds
 * Bubblegum
 * Thai Stix
 * Grizzly
 * Santa Maria
 * Winter Weed
 * Silver Haze
 * Jack Herer
 * Northern Lights
 * Viking
 * Sweet Malaysian Skunk Weed
 * Ice
 * Kif (technically a byproduct, not a separate variety, and techincally spelled "kief" as to not be comfused with the Knowledge Interchange Format)
 * Columbian
 * Super Gold Thai
 * T44
 * Yellow
 * PP
 * Warlock
 * Sensi Star
 * B-52
 * Citral
 * Kierewiet
 * Durban Poison
 * Blueberry
 * Double Bubblegum
 * pH 89
 * XXX
 * Silver Shadow
 * Purple Power
 * Snowflake
 * Essential Flower
 * DD
 * Muffman Blend (Macy's Grade A Herb)
 * Shake (small pieces of marijuana at the bottom of a bag, called so because of it's apparent predilection towards being shaken)
 * Beasters
 * Robo Skunk #41
 * Dizzity Dankness
 * Eli Whitney
 * Mananuska aka Alaskan Thunderfuck

Famous Stoners AKA Liberal Supporters

 * George Carlin
 * Colbear and all of his bear minons
 * Tommy Chong
 * Bill Clinton
 * Willie Nelson
 * Toby Keith
 * General Patton
 * Jon Stewart (please see Half Baked)
 * Alan Ginsberg
 * Hunter Thompson
 * Sen. Robert Wexler
 * Cheech Marin
 * Paul McCartney
 * "Weedy" the cartoon Pot-Leaf (rumored)
 * People who look-up "marijuana" on Wikiality.com
 * Kurt Cobain
 * Jimi Hendrix
 * Jerry Garcia
 * Satan
 * GimpDaddy

Factoids

 * Marijuana is known by many other names, including:
 * The Funny Cigarettes
 * Mary Jane
 * Joints (or just J)
 * Long Bottom Leaf
 * The Doobie
 * Cheeba
 * Daddy's Stomach Medicine
 * Kaya
 * The Chronic
 * Pot
 * The Pot
 * The Bong, aka Bongy McBongerstein
 * H.R. Pufnstuf
 * Shibby
 * Weed
 * The hippie lettuce
 * Reefer
 * The Gap of Rohan
 * The Shit (As in, that was some real good shit, man)
 * The Green
 * Bangers and Mash
 * Puff the Magic Dragon
 * Rocky Mountain Oysters (regional, though technically cow balls, technically smokeable)
 * Rumplestilskin
 * Coo Coo Ka Choo (*Goo Goo Ga Joob in American)
 * The Tower of London
 * Wacky Tobackey
 * Olde Toby
 * A fun thing to do


 * Marijuana and liberals are plentiful in Kansas.
 * Dinosaurs smoked Marijuana. Look what happened to them. Do you want to be like the dinosaurs? Didn't think so.

In Denver, CO, marijuana has been so widely popularized by seminal, mayoral pot-parties that it has been entirely legalized. Negotiations between venders such as Taco Bell (Yum!inc.), Six Flags Amusement Parks, and The Sparkly Things Imporium, and known distributors of marijuana have begun, and it is optimistically predicted that marijuana cigarettes will be available at all major convenience retailors by early 2007.

In Ohio, during the campaign for 2006's Midterm Elections, a new form of consuming THC was introduced when U.S. Senator Mike DeWine described "Marijuana-laced bananas." The technique, verified as previously unknown by the Columbus, Ohio, audience of The Daily Show, rapidly became known as "dewining."


 * ^*although the factuallity of this statement is not in contension, none of them have been confirmed for truthiness.