Labor Unions

"A strike may have canceled the 2005 hockey season, but there are some bad things about labor unions." - Stephen Colbert, March 14, 2006, The Colbert Report

Labor Unions are a collective of greedy workers from a specific skill field who have banded together to impose their demands on the owners and management of any given business. Such outrageous demands are safe working conditions, "fair" wages, health benefits and job security. If the union does not get its way, it will act like a big baby by holding its breath, stomping its feet and not doing any work until someone (Liberal Media) pays attention to their pouting.

Strikes
A union's terrorist attack on corporate freedom. When unions stop working until their demands are met, it's called a strike. This is because the union is trying to be combative by hurting capitalism. They do this by slowing or stopping production, which hurts the economy, which means your father loses his job, starts drinking constantly and drives home one night after spending 5 hours at the bar and on the way, crashes into a busload of nuns who happen to be driving cross country on their way to deliver kittens to kids who've been orphaned by the freedom opportunity in Iraq.



If a union goes on strike, a company can employ "scabs." Scabs are replacement workers who are happy to do the job the ungrateful union members aren't willing to do. These replacement workers are called scabs because they are trying to heal the wounds inflicted by the union. The scab isn't concerned with anything other than earning a paycheck and they stand among the industrialists and entrepneurs as heroes of the free market.

Before Unions - Was It Really That Bad?
"...like getting fired for losing a finger was the end of the world" - Stephen Colbert, March 14 2006, The Colbert Report

Every day was bring your daughter to work day and 19 hour shifts eliminated childhood obesity problems. Could a world without Michael Moores really be that bad?