Environmental Protection Agency

The Environmental Protection Agency, or EPA as it is more commonly known, is the governmental unit responsible for protecting Americans from environmentalists who want to depress them with information about "pollution" and "global warming" and "energy crises" and other depressing stuff like that. The EPA accomplishes this lofty mission by helpfully and selectively filtering the facts that might otherwise trouble us, so that we need only learn what will be good for us to hear.

The EPA was founded in 1970 by Richard Nixon, whose early recognition of the need for a fresh face on the old bait-and-switch can only be seen as prescient and remarkably progressive in contrast with today's more dogged (and dog-faced) conservative political presentation styles.