Instant Message

'Instant messages''' are a form of Internets communication, as well as a device engineered by Democrats to force Godly Republicans to lust after young boys.

Until recently, instant messages were merely a way for pale, overweight virgins to gossip about the latest Batman movie. On the eve of the 2006 midterm elections, however, Nancy Pelosi and her gang of pedophile friends damaged the brain of Republican Congressman and Manly Man Mark Foley to such an extent that he sent sexually explicit instant messages to White House Pages.

While any normal person would naturally assume that the pages were asking for it, the Liberal media ran with the story to spread the Politically Correct Propaganda that God's Congress was full of corrupt pedophiles. Fox News did its best to let America know that Democrats were worse than pedophiles, but the scandal had by then worked its magic on the public, who promptly voted in Democratic Majority, also known as Satan's little helpers.

Fracts

 * Instant messages are known to turn otherwise totally straight men into chicken-hawks.
 * BTW, IMs do not make Republicans LOL.