Arkansas

Arkansas (also known as "Missouri's Mexico" and "Louisiana's Canada"), is the birthplace of Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of the United States. There is nothing else notable about this state.

Discovery
Arkansas was discovered by a Louisiana hunting party who got drunk and lost in the woods. There, they discovered mentally retarded women that would let them have sex with them. Thus the citizens of Arkansas are descendants of drunk Louisianans and retards.

History
The history of Arkansas is very long and simple. Basically, the men go to prison, the women wait. Then the men get out of prison, procreate with the local women, sheep, girls, random logs, cattle, and sometimes rice patties. The women and girls become pregnant and more men are born, where they almost immediately report to their parole officer. The sheep that become impregnated become interns for the Governor's office, that's where bill got his taste for 'fluffy women'.

Achieving Statehood
Arkansas achieved statehood by demanding that if statehood wasn't acquired, they would go redneck on their asses.

Arkansas Today
Arkansas today is a vast non-intellectual wasteland. Over 75% of the residents are currently incarcerated, on parole, or on electronic monitoring. This has to do with the age of consent in Arkansas. In Arkansas, the age of consent is 12, the hillbilly population has rebelled against "this travesty of natural law", consequently, most Arkansans are felons.

Arkansas Landmarks

 * The Bill Clinton Presidential Library
 * The Bill Clinton Penis

A Typical Day in Arkansas

 * Blaming yourself for releasing the Clintonista scourge upon us.