Steve Carell

Steve "Gandalf" Carell (born Michael Gary Scott, August 16, 1962, in Scranton, Pennsylvania) is a very talented reporter who, like Dr. Colbert, is a former Daily Show correspondent. Unlike Colbert, Carell has moved on to obscurity; unfortunately, everyone cannot be as successful as Stephen Colbert. Carell's career went horribly downhill after he tried to imitate Dr. Colbert's move to his own show and turned his back on the news. Carell could not find an outlet for his liberal propaganda, so he no longer has a job with the Daily Show or anwhere else. Last we heard, he is reporting the news on WBAK - Omaha Community College's favorite (and only) news station. Carell is married to Nancy Walls, who was also a Daily Show correspondent. Even just by hearing her first name, you can tell that she's trouble. Due to a small mix-up, Carell hosted an episode of "Saturday Night Live" instead of Stephen Colbert. Of course, Colbert would do better. Carell will star in a movie called "Get Smart," which is something Carell himself needs to do.

Trivia

 * Carell changed his name from Michael Gary Scott after he lost to Stephen Colbert in eight straight games of perfectly heterosexual Ancient Greek Wrestling on their news segment "Even Stephven".
 * Even though Carell changed his name to match Stephen, he could not figure out how to spell it correctly. He also could not remember what Dr. Colbert's last name was, so he came up with Carell as a combination of his two favorite things: cars and oyster shells.
 * Carell had a minor hit with an autobiographical documentary film entitled The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
 * Is the star of a TV show called "The Orifice."
 * Carell once threw up in Stephen Colbert's car after drinking for an hour.
 * He is part of the "Fat Pack" along with Will Ferrell (who is not a very good anchorman), Ben Stiller (who doesn't know what a gerund is), the Wilson brothers (who are the male Olsen twins), Vince Vaughn and some other fat guy who can play the guitar, but not as good as Stephen Colbert.
 * Carell has actually kissed another male in his show, "The Orifice." Carell also starred in "Little Miss Sunshine" as a gay person who tried to commit suicide.
 * Carell loves lamps.
 * A black man posing as God asked Steve Carell to build an ark. He then begins to grow white hair.



Factoids

 * Claims to be pro-people, not pro-pot, but loves ganja and the exhilirating rush of freedom and the heightened textural sensations it gives him.

Similarities to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

 * They both have a beard.
 * They have both kissed a man.
 * Both are terroists.