Toliet

In the before times, people went to take a shit in the woods. You used hedgehog skin for your toilet paper. Now that's manly! Then the Lord said, "Let there be toilets!" He gave these to the world in the form of the Crapper, invenented by Thomas Crapper. (In actuality, that is that name of the creator of the first toilet.) The soldiers of WWI never got to use this wonderful invention because they were sucked into the fight with the Russians and Germans in WWII by a wormhole and helped the Russians kick the Germans asses. Then the proceded to be sucked back into the wormhole and subsequently got Hitler to poison himself while a transvestite posed as Hitler's mistriss. They then were sucked to D-day, beat the shit out of the Germans from behind, and were sucked back to their own time. They returned home, got married, had children and then proceded to die off and come back to life as zombies enthralled to the UN. Their children would then repeat this process in Vietnam and Korea with the Helicopter.