Jesus Powers

Jesus powers refers to the many various and wonderful mystical powers with which jesus wields to smite his enemies! Some of these blatantly amazing powers include turning water into wine and making the red sea surfable for the jews. many do not know this, but the only reason the bagel lovers traveled with him was to have a good beach-run. Another of jesus' many powers is the creation of cannabis plants. without jesus, who in the world would have made cannabis, the most wonderful of all plants?

back in AD 1900, the jews were due for anothwer surfing expedition, but jesus told them his powers weren't for sale. they tried to use force, without realizing that, besides making flat water surfable, he also had lazer eyes, and with them he smited the jews. [ this story outlines the reason why there are no longer any jews left in jerusalem. There are some traces of jew, though, of the jews that are addicted to opium in china.