Israel

Support Israel at all costs so we can get raptured already!
Israel is a Jewish nation who's current government was recognized in 1948. Since theyre Christ killing scum, their job is to do America's dirty work by killing terrorists so we don't have to. After Israel became a nation they started kicking Arab ass and expanded its borders like Rachael Ray expands her gut after Christmas. Unfortunately, the surrounding Arabs were in the middle of building a backyard deck to the sea, and this new country totally wrecked their ocean view, so they keep attacking it. That, and something about dirty Infidels. We must protect and support Israel at all costs! Those who do not are not American! It should also be noted that all Israeli's love Christianity. They love christianity so much they killed Jesus.

Israel's Army Kicks ASS!!!
In 1948, Israel attacked six Arab nations just because, and they won. Then in 1967, Syrians started shelling Israeli towns from the Golan Heights and the Egyptians blocked Israel's access to the Straits of Tiran and began massing its army in Sinai in response to the occupation of Palestine, but Israel bombed their air-fields before they could invade and kicked ass in six days. Then, in the sixties, Egypt tried to fight Israel, but Israel killed them all, then in the seventies, Egypt and Syria tried to fight again, but Israel took more of their land and killed them all again. Israel after many wars, still has those dirty Arabs bombing them. Israel decided to bomb the hell out of Lebanon to retrieve two soldiers. Hezbollah, like the pussies they are, tried to fight back. After Israel kicked their ass, they committed suicide and Israel won the conflict.

IDF Glorious Moments

 * Israel soldiers saves innocent lives in combat zone
 * Israel does not commit War Crimes! That's an antisemitic lie!
 * IDF loves children as human shields
 * Israel war of liberation!
 * Join the IDF and you get a free t-shirt!
 * IDF captures mooslim terrorists!
 * IDF mistakenly bombs children, error was inevitable IDF exterminates terrorist midgets
 * IDF Protects Israel from the Homosexual Threat
 * IDF destroys dangerous terrorists

Notable Achievements

 * 1) Creating streams of much-needed water, though salty, after the 2006 defeat to Lebanon terrorists
 * 2) Taking control of the media, financial, and diamond industry
 * 3) Staging the Holocaust
 * 4) Buying American politicians
 * 5) Being able to convince Americans that they live in a democracy
 * 6) Spreading Jewish control
 * 7) Killing Jesus

Ultra Orthodox Joos Impressive Achievements in the Name of God and Notable Events

 * Ultra Orthodox Joos visits Hamas and calls for the destruction of Israel and a call for peace. See, they are not so different after all!
 * Ultra Joos welcomes Christians!
 * Foreign Liberal Media insults local Ultra joos
 * Israel opens "Lebensraumland" "Judenreinland" amusement park! (mooslims are not welcome)
 * Ultra joos tells married couple to get more children!
 * Jerusalem Mayor cracks down on Welfare Queens! Ultra Joos demand release of Real Ultra Joo Mother against Welfare
 * Obama the joo hater insults Israel
 * Ultra joos have the right for genocide against mooslims self-defense!
 * Israel's new laws to protect their nation! Ultra Joos rejoice!
 * Ultra Joos has evidence that Obama is an anti-semite! No, really they do!
 * Hippie un-american traitor incites violence against Ultra Joos
 * Ultra Joos join the fight against Facts and books!
 * Ultra Joos uncovers new evidence: Obama is a Secret Arab!

Notable Israeli citizens

 * Jews
 * Barbra Streisand
 * Mel Gibson
 * Jesus
 * Jon Stewart
 * Stephen Colbert's "son"
 * Hitler

External Tubes

 * King of the Joos blame all Israel's problems on self-hating joos
 * "Who will think of the Gazan Joowish Children?"
 * Israel is not Racist! All of you joowish haters are!
 * Why is the UN so racist?
 * Israel shoots Gaza rescue workers mooslim terrorists
 * Israel's God-given right to invade take other people's land  exterminate non-believers self defense!
 * hippie bear-loving liberals overthrows "Loyalty Oath" that protects Israel against non-believers
 * The Joos are building a Walmart!
 * Obama hates israel
 * How Israel makes new friends!
 * Israel Sanctions US!! Oh Noes!!!!
 * Israel booming Real Estate!
 * Israel new hit comedy!!
 * More Israeli comedy!
 * Israel Tourist Board to promote Mermaid Hunt