Terrorist

Terrorists hate freedom and are enemies of democracy. Their sole purpose in life is to destroy America and Israel, using Actors such as the Jane Fonda. They enjoy teasing Republicans, denying the Bible, and eating babies. All terrorists in the world are Liberals. They are all from Hollywood, and most likely like virgins. Because the terrorists are actors, they "act" like our friends from the Middle East; The ones who let us use their delicious OIL! Posing as Middle Easterners they even 'act' like they have a religion that ISN'T Christianity. LIES! We know the so-called "War on Iraq" is being producing in a soundstage deep inside Alec Baldwin's Hair (see).



Best Place to Fight Them


Over there, so we won't have to fight them here.

Better yet, we should fight them in the past, where they might fight us--before they would have reason to fight us--here, in the present. A current tactic in fighting Terrorists is turning their homebase Hollywood into a Smog factory, therefore the term could be better termed "Chemical Warfare". Don't dwell on the possibility Real Americans might get hurt (seriously, stop it), all Real Americans got the hell out of there YEARS ago.

Terrorist's Tools
The terrorists use anything they can get their sweaty hands on to hurt America and The Baby Jesus.
 * 1) Bombs
 * 2) Car bombs
 * 3) Israelis
 * 4) IEDs
 * 5) Michael Moore
 * 6) Segway scooters
 * 7) Ali Coli, a sleeper cell specializing in bioterrorism
 * 8) Bears
 * 9) Olbermann
 * 10) Women
 * 11) The forgiving nature of the American People
 * 12) C-Span
 * 13) Scarves
 * 14) Pizzlies
 * 15) Recently surfaced black-market Iranian weapons in circulation for at least 8 years
 * 16) Audio messages recorded using cutting edge Windows sound recorder technology
 * 17) Word of mouth
 * 18) The Teacher's Union
 * 19) Volunteer Labor
 * 20) Secret Codes like "Open Sesame"
 * 21) Forked Tongues
 * 22) Multi-Pronged Attacks (Many Headed Snakes)
 * 23) Monies and Facilities provided by Saudi Arabian Sympathizers
 * 24) Black Market Prescription Drugs
 * 25) Al Franken
 * 26) Poverty

Known Terrorist Supporters
NB: America never supported the IRA and never funded them, the Armalites (pictured above) and other resources were aquired by other means..... in no way were they told to stand down so that the War on Terrorism could get support and in no way did the conflict in Northern Ireland resemble a vicious religious war with an occupying power stuck in the middle. The IRA were never suppiled with weapons and ammunition from LIBYA or found training the "Resistance" in South America (Truthiness in action).
 * 1) Israelis
 * 2) Radical Liberals
 * 3)  Communists
 * 4) Saddam Hussein
 * 5) Illegal Immigrants
 * 6) Obama
 * 7) ACLU
 * 8) Anarchists
 * 9) Osama bin Laden
 * 10) Bears
 * 11) These Un-american traitors
 * 12) CNN (aka The Libural Media)
 * 13) Subway Sandwich Shop
 * 14) YOU!
 * 15) Gov. Ed Rendell
 * 16) All Foreign People Everywhere
 * 17) Robots

Types of Terrorists

 * Islamic Fasco-Terrorist
 * Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
 * Cyber-Terrorist
 * Terror Terrorist
 * V (the only cool terrorist)
 * Clean Skin Terrorist
 * no-talent Canadians
 * The Mexican Terrorist
 * The Terror Family Sleeper Cell

NB: The IRA were freedom fighters ...... their past conflict in no way resembles the insurgents in Iraq. (Truthiness in action).

Terrorist Jobs

 * Bomb Tester
 * Bomb Maker
 * Bomber
 * Lookout
 * Spy
 * Financier
 * Leader
 * Number 2
 * Fashion Consultant (See: Rachel Ray)
 * Pastry Maker (See: Roses of the Prophet Mohammad)

Who is A Terrorist

 * Mooslims
 * Brown People
 * Foreigners
 * The Gays
 * Black People
 * Liburals
 * Brazilian Electricians
 * Babies (from non-white families)
 * Brown people flying on airplanes, why else are they flying?

Who is Not Terrorist

 * Whites
 * Christians
 * Americans
 * White Christian Americans

External Tubes

 * Terrorist Killing Weapons
 * Terrorists joins local High School and becomes class bully
 * terrorists wants love too
 * Innocent man finally freed!
 * Terrorists demand equal rights
 * French Tranny escapes from Guantanamo Prison
 * Taliban captures mini-feminazi
 * Terrorist Scientist Builds Superweapon: Blackhole Machine!!
 * mini-terrorists kills infidel snitch
 * Terrorists join the fight to stop Feminazi threat
 * Barie joins The Taliban
 * Al Qaeda now recruiting blood and creeps!
 * Right-wing Militant demands destruction of middle-east
 * Zombies Added to the No-Fly List
 * America demands the "All Brown People Are Terrorist Act" to defend our Homeland
 * Terrorists to build a bridge to Islam
 * Terrorist are not human, ergo no human experimentation exist
 * mini-terrorist tries to hijack plane
 * Freedom of Speech is now Terrorism!
 * Terrorists love Harry Potter
 * Hamas giving birth to C4 babies in the US!!!
 * The Onion: Al Qaeda Edition
 * Terrorists know magic!
 * How England kept us safe from Terrorism
 * Al Qaeda to rename magazine to: "Die Filthy Western Infidels Jihad Al-Qaida 9/11"
 * Mooslims now brainwashing our children!!!