Isaac Asimov

Isaac Asimov is a Jewish chemist and science-fiction author. He is also a godless liberal who prays to the Atheist Trinity: Satan, Charles Darwin, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Asimov is most famous for creating an army of soulless atheist (pardon the redundancy) robots bent on taking over the world. These robots follow the Three Laws of Liberal Robotics:


 * First Law: A robot must always Hate America First.
 * Second Law: A robot must always follow the orders of Satan unless such orders conflict with the First Law (which they never will).
 * Third Law: A robot must always make decisions based on logic rather than gut feeling, therefore being an enemy to truthiness.

Asimov also made contributions to Michael Moore's HitStalinator and the Mechagodzilla of Seoul. It is also widely believed that Judas Iscariot was a robot assassin created by Asimov and sent back in time to kill Jesus.

Asimov's dream of a robot-dominated world was foiled when Jesus came down from Heaven and reprogrammed one of his robots. This robot became Optimus Prime and single-handedly defeated Asimov's robot army. Prime would later go on to become the 43rd President of the United States.