V



V is the coolest person ever and, is also Stephen's new Freedom Fighter friend. Commonly mistaken for a terrorist, he is also helping to fight the major pussification of the Great Britain. (Good luck...)

Needless to say, this makes Stephen happy...

My gut tells me that Stephen Colbert or one of his close relitives is actualy V under that Guy Fawks mask. Fawks... Colbert... Both French... Am I the only one drawing a connection?

Origins
Though his origins are unknown there is speculation that V is Stephen Colbert's future son, or possibly a reincarnation of Jesus... one in the same? I don't know, I can only speculate. The bad ass moves and incredible feats of stength, however, are only seen in the Colbert blood line (Stephen, The Hulk, Jesus, etc).

His Gear


One of the coolest things about V is his pimped out costume. He wears an awesome mask, and carries six kick-ass daggers. These daggers are the third coolest weapons known to man behind the lightsaber and the katana. The mask is of Guy Fawks, a Freedom Fighter of 15th century England. He fought to bring the Roman Catholics, "the only true religion" says Stephen, back to power after years of persecution.

Influences

 * daytime television
 * the French
 * The Colbert Report

V was also taken captive in a top secret containment facility... GITMO. It was there that he was mercilessly experimented upon and, as some say, underwent his terrifying transformation from man to monster... A super bad ass monster, but a monster none the less.

Future Plans
He hopes to someday host his own talkshow on a prominent network such as Fox, or perhaps Lifetime: "Television for Idiots." He has had some minor experience on a talk show, V TV, though it was short lived... Three... Maybe four minutes tops...

Unfortunately, he died in a fiery train explosion that blew up British Parliament, so his dreams might have been temporarily delayed.

And this makes Stephen sad...

Sightings


Ever since his death there have been reported sightings of the Freedom Fighter codenamed V, just like Elvis, Tupoc, Chris Farley, and the immortal Abe. He has also been spotted playing the washboard in bands, and running from human-like gorillas. So this raises the queston...

Is he truly dead?

Things V Hates

 * Freedom Haters
 * Bears
 * The Laws of Physics
 * Words that don't start with the letter V (Except for Stephen, which he pronounces "Vuh-Stephen"...)

Things V Likes

 * Freedom
 * Natalie Portman
 * Truthiness
 * Fireworks (what good American doesn't?)
 * Scorn (his favorive cologne)