Mushrooms

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA uses the following truths elicited from his gut to educate small children about the dangers of the highly addictive and often murderous substance that is mushrooms. The only three things that come from the use of mushrooms are:
 * Mushrooms are an illegal drug that is guaranteed to kill.
 * Mushrooms were proven to be more dangerous to the human body than cigarettes filled with the AIDS.
 * Mushrooms are the number two cause of death in America.
 * Immediate Paralysis followed by slow painful death by parasites infesting the brain.
 * Total psychosis, usually resulting in the murder of B-list Hollywood stars. (see Charles Manson)
 * The most severe and irreversible effect of mushrooms is being a hippie.