Ti-89 Titanium

The TI-89 Titanium graphing calculator is the calculator used by real Americans. It is the Jesus of all graphing calculators (TI Voyage being God). It is superior to Casio calculators in every way, bar none. Casios are used by communists, terrorists, hippies, and Hugo Chavez. In fact, North Korea tried to use a TI-89 Titanium to build a nuclear bomb, but it was so American that it rebelled and refused to perform even any of the most basic calculations (i.e. 2 + 2 = 5). The North Koreans had to use a Casio to complete a substandard nuclear weapon, which can't even hit the U.S. For those of you keeping score, TI-89 Titanium: 1, Casio/communist sunglass wearing despots: 0.

Americans love the TI-89 titanium because it renders every math class they have ever taken obsolete, and it is slightly more compact than carrying an Asian to class with you. It can do literally anything, including obliterating your opponents with its mind. TI stands for Texas Instruments, so it is physically impossible to mess with, much like our current Texan president, G. Dubs.