Non Americans

There are alot of misconceptions about Non Americans, not all of them suck, just Americans are awesome, and they make them look bad.

Examples of Good Non-Americans

 * Canada - Canada is actuallly the second best country in the world, it excells in poutine, hockey, drinking, doughnuts, and the few other things that America is bad at. Except Soccer. This leads to the theory that if Canada's 10 Provinces and 3 terroritories became the 51st-63rd states, they'd be a totally without a doubt perfect nation, after all, soccer sucks anyways.


 * Ireland - Ireland is awesome for it's Guiness, and excellence in alcoholism. Ireland can out drink anyone, because they're cool, and alcoholics, I (GeraldRFord on Colbertnation.com and Bill Morran everywhere else) have Irish ancestry, though I'm Canadian born.


 * Israel - Israel and the Jews are awesome, and they help us fight terrorist bastards, who should all die. GO ISRAEL! USE YOUR JEW CLAW TO FIGHT HEZZBOLLAH. Ali G is a Jew, presumabley an Israeli decent.

Examples of Bad Non-Americans

 * France - France is the most evil place in the world. They are total pussies, and every American war they've supported has been because they got owned by the enemy (WW1, WW2, and Vietnam are obvious, the American Revolution was shortly after a France-England war in Canada called "the 7 years war" France got owned.), they also excepted oil fields from Iraq in exchange for bitching about the war.


 * Iraq, Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Lebanon, so on - Evil terror loving bastard countries who believe in a false god, and hate America, they should probably all blow up, I hope America invades them. GO AMERICA!


 * Germany - Germany basically did the same things as France, except aren't pussies, because they start wars, instead of run for them. So they're bad, but not that bad, but they're also Faschists.


 * Japans - Bitches about Hiroshima after we fixed them up after Pearl Harbor. Japan is pretty damn bitchy. And the whole "oooooooooo I pwonounce ews and aws like Elmer Fudd!" thing pisses me off...


 * China - Communists, and did the same Iraq thing as France, communism is evil, and should be stamped out. I pitty the Chinese for living under communism. Poor Chinese, communism is so evil. They're not allowed to not left wing.


 * Russia - They are the anti-Christ... well anti-American, same thing, they are evil communists who hate Americans, I hate them, their hockey team sucks now, and they are evil. God hates Russia, the athiest stae.


 * Cuba and Venezuela - Communist Castro loving pricks. Communism needs to be stamped out, please refer to www.deadcastrodance.com.


 * Quebec - The bad part of Canada, filled with frogs, who are French. Damn French. Quebec makes Canada look bad, we're sorry for their existance, they suck. Screw France. I hate them.

Happy Medium

 * Great Britain - Great Britain is pretty gay, but they are fighting in IRAQ! Therefore, they are good to some degree, because they are attacking Iraq, and the Iraqi terrorists are douchebags.


 * Mexico - Well Mexico has those filthy people who sneak in, but the women from Spanish countries are unbelievabley beautiful, if you are a Spanish woman, how you doin? Mexican baseball players are pretty cool too.


 * Australia - Dorks, but they have Steve Irwin, and he's amazing, may he rest in peace, and Steve Irwin makes them good. Pretty cool eh? If they weren't so British, they might even make the good countries.


 * Denmark - They treated Jews awesome in WW2, go Denmark!