Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is the third most hated holiday by liberals. The first and second being Christmas and Easter, respectfully. Thanksgiving is the day to be reminded that the Indians were happy we came to America and saved them from being savages. They were taught how to be great businessmen and casino owners.

On this day, it is customary (and required by law) to state emphatically that you are thankful to have the greatest president in history serve our country with the same sense of morality and dignity that the earliest settlers had.