Velvet Mafia





The Velvet Mafia is a clandestine group comprised of the homosexual elites. The Velvet Mafia aims to subvert America's traditional values with the Homosexual Agenda. The Mafia exerts its influence over America through the "arts," namely television, the film industry (See: Hollywood), theatre, poetry, etc...guiding the intent behind most "art" to portray gays in a positive light.

The mafia's influence in Washington has grown over the past few decades. This has been evidenced by the actions of many policy makers, but was recently illustrated to grand effect by the Mark Foley scandal. The mafia, engorged with their growing power, exercised their well lubricated and finely tuned cover up team to help protect Democratic Congressman Foley's predilection for man-boy-love from being pulled out prematurely and sprayed across the front page of every newspaper, exploding on the public like a glistening mushroom cloud. Foley's deviant behavior was to have remained a secret until after the gay uprising (See: Gays in the Military). Thankfully Foley's taste for supple pubescent boy-flesh was made known. Unfortunately, the Velvet Mafia has exerted its control once more and has used the liberal media to spin Foley as a Republican, hoping to tranish the good name and trust that the G.O.P. has earned throughout the years so that the Democrats can regain control of the House of Representatives. The only fair news source that hasn't done this is is the Fox News Channel.

It has long been suspected that the Velvet Mafia has been coordinating attacks on America's mores, with the Gaylamofascists and Gay Bears. It's gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys, with one left over to go in the ear.

The Velvet Mafia also hopes that your first child be a masculine child.

Other Examples of the Gay Mafia's Influence/Members

 * Will & Grace
 * Oscar Wilde
 * Liberace
 * Barry Manilow
 * Barney Frank
 * Logo network
 * Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
 * American Idol
 * The People's Republic of San Francisco
 * Playgirl magazine
 * Massachussetts
 * Cagney & Lacey
 * France
 * Godless Sodomites
 * Freddie Mercury
 * Jim McGreevey
 * Satan
 * Metrosexuality
 * That guy that lives next door who is constantly asking if you just got done working out because apparently you always look so toned and "ready to go."