Sarah Palin



Despite being a woman, Mrs. Todd Palin is a maverickess and great in 18 million ways. Some say Sarah's the greatest Governor since George W. Bush guided Texas. She has fought on the front lines of the bear wars and refused to give polar bears a free ride in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Also is a professional Maviratrix. The pride of Wasilla, Alaska‎, Mrs. Todd Palin has made her burgeoning metropolis proud!

Mrs. Todd Palin "accidentally" disclosed what Dr. Colbert had been told not to disclose: Where In The World And Where In Time Is Stephen Colbert Going To Be In The Persian Gulf?!





Faith in Our Lord And Savior


Mrs. Todd Palin is a firm believer in America's Science. She also believes the government has the right to tell her what she should do with her filthy, filthy "Intelligently-Designed" vagina.

As a result, she has had four five babies, each a reflection of God's Love and her husband's use of cheap condoms.

Beliefs

 * Mary Glazier
 * Bishop Thomas Muthee
 * Witchcraft
 * Teen Pregnancy
 * The Earth is Flat

Her Family
As the wife and mother in her family, Mrs. Todd Palin submits to her husband's natural urges resulting in four five children.

Her Children


Being a strict Christian, Mrs. Todd Palin should have chosen names directly out of The Bible, but since her husband may have suffered some chromosomal damage due to his job, the kids' names are not exactly religious in fact they allude to the Palins belonging to an American ethnic subset.

But, they are colorful and add to her allure as a proper maverickess.



''A fifth Palin child was discovered after the printing of this internets tube, so it cannot be added into the table. The child's name is "Trig". He is named after the math teacher who got her daughter pregnant Mrs. Palin's favorite part of a gun: the trigger!''

"Her" Fifth Child
Recently she had another of God's blessings thanks to the miracle of the missionary position.

This may in fact be the third immaculate conception (after Mary's and Keisha Castle-Hughes') since Todd Palin's wife was not showing the distended proof of God's Love for the first seven months of her pregnancy and hid the child's birth for 6 weeks after it's virgin birth!

Despite all the complications of hiding her daughter's her fifth pregnancy, she showed her true Christian love, by giving birth despite knowing the child was going to be retarded.

She did not get it on with a injun this is an outragious lie!

Life and Career
Sarah Palin grew up in the Valley. After bringing down big-porn, she joined Feminists For Life, moved to Alaska and pumped out 5 babies. Only Tek Jansen knows the exact time line of those events.

Between giving birth, holy missionary position impregnation, and visiting the nannies, she helped divert money from "endangered species" to fund Alaska's Republican war on the bearorists. She also sold the state jet to raise money for the Republicans and keep Al Gore from visiting.

Mother Of All Hockey
She is recognized worldwide as The Greatest Hockey Mom Ever as proven by the movie on the left.

Now imagine if you will a President Palin?

Charitable Contributions

 * $1 million to Save The Innocent Babies

Relationship With Technology

 * eMail

Heretofore Unknown Battles With Vladimir Putin, Ruler Of The Cossacks And All Of Russia!


In 2008, Katie Couric tortured Mrs. Todd Palin to disclose National Security secrets about the dire threat of Russians in Alaskan air space.

Prior to Couric's intelligence breach, Americans were able to sleep soundly at night, blissfully unaware that communists penetrated her air space.

Once CBS exposed the danger, Americans were initially and understandably frightened. But CBS and her liberal cohorts in the media did not anticipate the reaction Americas would have for Mrs. Todd Palin's clear and forceful response and her long history of protecting the lower 48 from the immediate threat Putin posed.

Preparing For The Presidency Vice Presidency
Please see her official web tube outlining her experience and where she stands on all the issues (here)



NASA Oval Office Simulation
In order to fast-track her educationalness to the Oval Office, NASA engineers have developed an Oval Office Simulatorto help Mrs. Todd Palin prepare for her duties. Version 2.0 here.

Canuck Licence (Drive, Baby, Drive!)
Mrs. Todd Palin has kept her place within the boundaries of America (Alaska is apparently a state). But, now that she has been selected to replace McCain when he dies in office be vice president, Mrs. Todd Palin has applied for a Canadian drivers' license in order to make the GOP convention in Minneapolis.

Going Rogue
On October 28, 2008, Mrs. Todd Palin reached the zen state of Maverickness by Going Rogue. This spiritual Maverick milestone was achieved a full 86 days ahead of schedule, and is a testament to Mrs. Todd Palin's quicky Mavericky learning skills.

VP Endorsements

 * Arnold Schwarzenegger approves of Sarah's Thatchers.
 * Nicolas Sarkozy sent Governor Palin an encouraging phone call where he wished her luck on her campaign, commended her support for Joe the Plumber and Marcel the Guy With Bread Under his Armpit, and complimented her documentary Nailin' Palin. A recording of the call can be listened to here.

Official Statement


Todd Palin released this statement on behalf of his wife: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE No. 08-149

Governor Palin Releases Statement to Alaskans

August 29, 2008, Anchorage, Alaska – Governor Sarah Palin today released the following statement to Alaskans:

“It is the honor of my life to represent you as your Governor, and over the next two months I will continue to do so. As the mother of five, I know how to multi-task, and I will continue to promote the path of reform that we set out on together in the state of Alaska.”

“It is a great privilege to be John McCain's running mate and to be considered by the American people for the Vice Presidency. This honor is a testament to the reforms and progress we have made together in Alaska. Now is the time to take that spirit of reform to Washington.”

What Makes Her Great!

 * her husband's love letters to her leaked by internets hacker!
 * she's white
 * she's a chick
 * she knows her place
 * she dresses proper for a workin' gal
 * she knows how to pretend to fight corruption
 * she has a gun
 * she speaks English
 * she feels science is overrated
 * she keep librarians and other book lovers in line
 * she's the right religion
 * she was in the freakin' PTA!
 * she was in the city council
 * she was 1 of 30,000 mayors in America
 * she can fight all the world's problems with energy policy
 * she's been governor since Obama started running for presidency
 * her exceptional governance of Alaska
 * she speaks to God just like The Greatest President Ever
 * she loves The Baby Jesus
 * she can see Alaska from her house
 * she enjoys a good hacking
 * she's an experienced peace keeper
 * she has a pro-baby-growth economic plan
 * she brings experience in saving taxpayer dollars on rape kits

Factoids

 * She was voted the sexiest, hottest mother and governor in America by Diebold voting machines.
 * Ted Stevens endorsed her for Governor in 2006.
 * Hobbies include:
 * killing bears
 * killing wolves
 * feeding old people
 * feeding microwaved bears and wolves to old people
 * firing people who don't fire the men who divorce her sister
 * fishing for barracuda by shooting them from a helicopter
 * Hunting for Whales
 * She's a member of the NRA and likes to hunt and fish.
 * Gives off a naughty librarian vibe.
 * Hates books.
 * Supports maximum tube usage.
 * Is under investigation for abuse of power.
 * not one to waste time doing God's work, Mrs. Todd Palin was able to miraculously reduce seven months of the miracle of birth overnight!
 * she also humbly waited six weeks before announcing the blessed birth!
 * Even Mooslims want to bang her.
 * is able to delegate legal authority like nobody's business!

Magazines Mrs. Todd Palin Reads Everyday


During another "gotcha media interview" Mrs. Todd Palin revealed to Katie Couric that she reads many magazines, but did not disclose which ones they were out of concern for national security.

Wikiality.com asks the internets heroes to fill in the blanks and provide the periodicals Mrs. Todd Palin has read below.


 * Aryan Nation Times
 * Creation Scientific American
 * Secessionist Journal
 * John Birch Society's The New American
 * Uninformed Moose Huntin' PTA Aficionado Weekly
 * Shotgun Bride

Foreign Leaders Who Have Her Private Phone Number

 * Nicolas Sarkozy
 * Great Britain's Prime Minister, Gordon Brown (but it may have been a dial tone)

Turkey Pardon
"...Oh, well this was, this was me! To, it--I was uh, happy to be get to be invited to participate in this and, and uh, you know it, it for one, you need a bit of little levity in this job.  Especially with uh, uh, so much that has gone on in the last couple of months that has been so um, political obviously that it's nice to get out and and and do, so something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn't so uh, heavy-handed politics, that uh, invites criticism .  Certainly we'll invite criticism for even doing this, too, but at least this was fun!"

Sarah Palin's New Book: The woman, her life, and how her Presidency was stolen
The Greatest Maveratrix Ever will be soon releasing a new book and a tv series about her life, her struggles as a kick ass Maverick, and her great legacy on Alaska America and how it tragically came to an end before its time... as long as Hollywood and the liberal media doesn't screw it again... No way will this hurt her chances for her 2012 2016 election...

Sarah Palin's Plan for The Queendom of Alaska
Sarah Palin has expressed plans to turn Alaska into her own monarchy and crown herself Queen of Alaska

Sarah Palin has an awesome plan to "liberate" Alaska from the Mooslim government! But details are few since it is a secret to keep the liberal media out... shhhh... dont tell anyone!

Sarah Palin's Resigns Governorship of Alaska as of 2009
 to pursue a more ambitious career to spend more time with her family



News Tubes

 * 2009 Sarah Palin Calendars ON SALE NOW!
 * Palin views on oil, polar bears may be liabilities
 * Scientists oppose her desire to open ANWR to gas drilling
 * Palin's Wolf Bounty Program
 * Governor Palin Relaxing on her Bear Fur Couch
 * Palin Not Convinced on Global Warming
 * McCain's Vice President Under Investigation for Abuse of Power
 * Maveratrix Cred!
 * Tribute to the Be-Lipsticked-Pitbull!
 * Levi Johnston's MySpace page!
 * A video depicting her love for America!
 * Your feet can too walk the Maveratrix path!
 * Sarah Palin's new political consultant!
 * Sarah Palin, defender of Raep victims
 * Angry mob of 15 people millions protest Letterman's pro-raep remark
 * Sarah Palin, Real American Hero
 * Help! Sarah Palin's email account was hacked and now vicious rumors that are lies are being spread around!
 * Sarah Palin has shocking surprise for GOP
 * Real Americans backs Sarah Palin's decision 100%
 * Liberal Media confused with Sarah's actions
 * Ode to Sarah Palin
 * Crazy Liburals Conspiracy Theories as to why Palin is resigning
 * Sarah Palin's Greatest Speech Ever!
 * Real America's opinion on Sarah's resignation
 * Bill Kristol calls Sarah a Real Maverick, not a quitter. If only Obama would follower her example... Obama you are doing too much, why dont you just quit?
 * Series of Tubes going wild with Palin
 * Liberal Media cant contain their happiness with Palin's resignation
 * Sarah Palin brings party unity
 * Palin's resignation The Most Patriotic Duty Ever! She resigned to save our tax payers money!
 * Sarah Palin declares War on the Series of Tubes! 4chan retaliates by unleashing their n3rdz powah
 * Something Awful Apologizes for being childish
 * Bully Liberal Whore, Shannyn Moore, continues to spew lies and fabrications on Series of Tubes
 * Fox News praises Sarah Palin's patriotism!
 * Palin calls Hillary a coward and a whiner You tell her, Sarah!
 * How the Libural Media blackmailed Sarah Palin
 * Palin's Resignation an act of "self-sacrifice"
 * Palin will run new "Department of Law"
 * Europeans hatez Sarah Palin
 * Sarah Palin's brilliant plan for 2012