Everything You Always Wanted To Know About $cientology, Without The Yelling

A BBC reporter tried to do an investigative report on The Church of $cientology, but wound up showing the world how ridiculous reporters are.

This reporter (who cares what his name is) began shouting indecypherable rantings until a member of the church was able to vacuum up all the thetans tossed about.

Many people want to know about $cientology, but aren't sure how to broach the subject. This special page has been set up for people to ask questions about $cientology. A member of the church will scan your IP address for engrams, your bank account for a sufficient balance and your family history for unchecked mental illnesses.

Enjoy.