New New Orleans Themepark

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The Chinese character for crisis is weiji (pronounce ching-chong), contains within it the characters for the words danger and opportunity. In the ruined city of New Orleans, an oppurtunity has arisen from the crisis.

Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house, a New New Orleans is being contructed, a themepark which which will preserve the orginal spirit of New Orleans while create a fun, friedly atmosphere, safe for the whole family. And, because George W. Bush loves black people, he has dedicated millions of taxpayer dollars to contract numerous Fortune 500 Companies such as Halliburton and Disney to oversee the reconstruction effort.

Mickey Gras
Mardi Gras need not come once a year. Each night, at 8 p.m., the Bourbon Street Electrical Parade come rolling through the city, featuring floats and live performers, celebrating 85 years of Disney Entertainment, with a New Orleans twist of course. Bringing up the rear of the parade is of course, Mickey Mouse, who is known to throw candy bead necklaces to lucky children which strike his eye.

Police Warning: Indecent Exposure will be punished to the full extent of the law.

Air Tours
Hop aboard Air Force Fun and view the ruined destruction like our Greatest President, George W. Bush did... from the air.

Anne Rice's Haunted Mansion
Every mansion in New Orleans is haunted by the murdered black slave servants, but some more than others. The Anne Rice Mansion is one such place. Come, enter, and explore the scary place, where each night, the Ghost of Anne Rice, the writer, rants and raves about the "utter contempt" she has for the "sheer outrageous stupidity" of the guests who didn't like Blood Canticle.

Po'Blacks of the Carribbean
Hop aboard our one of our dinghy, and take our Safari Tour into the "Wild Kingdom". Each night, we flood the area outside of the walls around the New New Orleans Themepark. Utilizing the breakthrough technology of Animatronics, see a realistic, yet light-hearted recreation of the Po'Black's life, set during Tropical Storm Katrina.

Dinghys are completely bulletproof.

Le McDonalds
At the New New Orleans Themepark, you'll never be more than two steps away from a McDonalds! And we have tailored our menu especially for the city, offering such fare as french fries (not freedom fries), and le Big Macs.

Chef Louis Restaurant
Hungry for some classic Creole cuisine? Join Chef Louis, world renowned saucier and famous for his appearance in Disney classic, The Little Mermaid, in his five-star restaurant. Don't worry, no spices nor trans-fats used in cooking.

The Chocolate City
A chocolate shoppe, whose speciality is recreating the entire city of Olde, New Orleans, out of chocolate. Try some delicious 9th Ward dark chocolate today!

Trent Lott's Porch
Trent Lott's house has been rebuilt, more fantastic than ever. Come, kick up your feet, and join an Animatronic George W. Bush for a cool drink on the picturesque Mississippi Delta.

oo, look forward to sitting on Trent Lott’s rebuilt porch, sipping a cool drink and enjoying the breeze from the Mississippi, someday soon.