Mongolia

Mongolia is a country that used to be really, really powerful and aggressive, but now is filled with drunk people who own goats and drink tea. It is almost as if the culture just froze after it stopped being successful and stuff and never started growing again. It did not start evolving either, because evolution is a liberal myth.

Genghis Khan was the first President of Mongolia. He was a good wartime president, but not as good as George Washington. He was pretty close, though. He conquered a lot of Asia and rode around on a horse with a bunch of other Mongolians. Mongolia used to rule China, but now China is really big and Mongolia is not quite as big, and China probably does not conquer Mongolia simply because they are either: a) really nice; b) too busy being Communists to do anything else except beat dogs to death with poles; or c) afraid that Genghis Khan or one of his successors, such as Kublai Khan (who conquered China a long time ago, in 1279), is being cryogenically preserved (like Abraham Lincoln and Richard Nixon's head) to lead Mongolia to greatness once again, which might involve China getting completely wasted by a country of goat-ball lickers and alcoholics.

Mongolia Trivia

 * The capital of Mongolia is Ulaanbaatar, which can also be spelled as Ulan Bator, Ulan Batar, Ulaan Batar, Ulaan Bator, Ulaan-baatar, Ulaan Baatar, Ulan-bator, Ulaan-bator, Ulaan-batar, or Who The &*%@ Cares?
 * Mongolians always have little evil mustaches, like the Huns in Mulan.
 * Mongolia is not a myth. It is real.
 * George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, is Mongolia's friend and Mongolia is part of the Coalition of the Willing.