Jeff Swartz

An environmentalist who hates America and capitalism.

His family started a corporation in Bahstahn of all places, making boots of all things. But since his entire family was made up of gays and tree huggers the bootstraps that normally come with American boots were replaced with food stamps.

The family did, however, practice cafeteria-style capitalism, which is just the parts of American capitalism that don't offend anyone.

Oh, boo-hoo, owls don't have houses any more.

Wah, wah, the local Transexuals' union can't have their 1o-minute make-up break!

Get over it!

Mr. (Miss?) Swartz is due to appear as a guest on Our Glorious Stephen's program on November 14, 2006.

Come back at 11:30 p.m. EST (and PST) and let's see how many times he gets nailed!