Wag of the Finger



A Wag of the Finger is Stephen Colbert's way of saying he disapproves of something. The most preferred finger to wag is the left index finger.

History
The wag of the finger was an experession first used in Pagan Rome as a sign priests would use to express erotic temptation. Flocks of women and gay men would come to see a handsome priest wag his finger at them. After Christanity became the empire's official religion, the finger wag became a forbidden expression. All throughout the Middle Ages, "wagging thine finger" was punishable by death, as was nearly every other crime.

Enlightenment, however, saw the return of the finger wag to legality. No one knew what it meant, but the fact that people once died for doing it made the finger wag a sign of anger. To wag your finger at someone meant you wanted them dead. As time went on, the extremity of the insult of finger wagging lessened until it only meant slight anger.

On the Colbert Report
In 2005 Stephen Colbert started the Colbert Report. Colbert needed an action to symbolize his anger with the liberals. Being a man of knowlage and learning, he decided to go visit the nuns at his local Catholic church. Once he walked in, they wagged their fingers at him for not dressing well in God's house. Colbert thanked the nuns for their idea, and went home. Since then, Colbert's Wag of the Finger has been one of the best tools in fighting liberals.

Trivia

 * It's a little known fact that Colbert's left index finger is made of licorice. Patronizing, patronizing licorice. There are certain other parts that are made of licorice, but as this is a family-friendly Wiki, that topic is censored.


 * Recieving a wag of the finger makes you an unamerican, truth-hating, Karl Marx following, liberal bear.

Quitters Edition

 * Perrigo Pharmaceuticals - way to give up.
 * Republican Quitters Ken Mehlman, Dennis Hastert & Lincoln Chaffee
 * Donald Rumsfeld (received not just a double wag, but a full body wag)
 * Fox News reporters who give up too easily. What a bunch of pussies.