Super soldiers

Super soldiers are specially enhanced all American men given special narcotics from Prescott Pharmaceutical. The medicine used id called Colbertium and was invented by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A. and is manufactured once a year

Colbertium
Created by Dr. Stephen Colbert in the 1960's when he was 4 years old. It was approved by the government in 1975. Colbertium is a small tablet that is colored exactly like the American flag, the pill is split in half and the stars are a suppository and the stripes are orally ingested.

SIDE EFFECTS: being bad ass metal appendages a strong sense of liberty testicular shrinkage a feeling of Colbert horse spleen kidneys

Super soldiers
here are a few who successfully became super soldiers

America Stephen Colbert Chuck Norris every ninja ever to be born in America