Uncle Stephen

Uncle Colbert. He's an American icon. Unlike his brother Sam who just pointed at you and told you to join the army and shot at. No Uncle Cobert stays home and deals with the threat down here. The Democrats, bears, and Jon Stewart. Uncle Colbert works hard to keep these things from taking over America. He also deals with gay marriage, Lou Dobbs, and FEMA. Hes the only thing protecting you from terrorist attacks.( on 911 hes was on lunch break)So even though you don't know it, Uncle Colbert has got your back. And hes got a huge bat to get the bad people to go away.God bless America.