David Xanatos



David Xanatos (born 1955 in Bar Harbor, Maine) is the living embodiment of the American Dream. The son of a poor fisherman, young Xanatos worked his ass off to become a billionare over night, and thus earns the right to spit on poor people. He's a family man. He married a good woman named Fox, and is the proud father of a beautiful young American named Alexander.

A True Hero
In 1994, Xanatos was framed by Demona for receiving stolen property, and sentenced to six months in prison by an activist judge. Thankfully, he got out and has continued the fight to protect New York City from Demona and her gargoyle minions and bear allies.

He has been hounded by liberal police detective, Elisa Maza who makes up stories about genetic engineering, Illuminati connections, and claims that he and Demona were allies. No, Xanatos was just trying to lull her into a false sense of security, so he could stop her, and eventually take out the Colbear itself.

While many mudslingers like to claim that he is now harboring seven of these Satanic creatures, they are wrong. He's just keeping his enemies closer.

Xanatos gets a Tip of the Hat for being a true American, but a Wag of the Finger for not getting a hair cut.

Xanatos Trivia

 * Does business with Halliburton
 * Has had sex with Deanna Troi
 * Made all his money through hard, honest work. You poor people are just moochers.
 * He supports the troops
 * Has met our leader, George W. Bush.
 * Like the manuscript for Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturn: A Tek Jansen Adventure‎.
 * Is schedualed to be a guest on The Colbert Report