Gulf of Mexico

The Gulf of Mexico is where hurricanes are created by God to smite sinners. There are five things that can always be found in the Gulf of Mexico: oil, sharks, wayward rubber dinghies with Cubans inside them, hurricane powder, and water. Occasionally, the Gulf of Mexico also enjoys a visit from tipsy Mexicans, girls going wild, and ballots from polled Floridian neighborhoods prone to voting Democrat.

Because the Gulf of Mexico is Mexican, it is in the utmost interests of America to build a very large fence, or "levee", to prevent it from illegally immigrating to the United States, thus putting a strain on our spa healthcare system and public swimming schools, and stealing jobs from American bodies of warm, subtropical water.