Charlie Crist

Charlie Crist is the tall, silver-haired Republican candidate for Governor of Florida.

Crist is a snappy dresser. Very snappy. Almost as snappy as his friend Mark Foley, who he barely even knows.

Crist, who is single, will succeed Gov. Jeb Bush, who is the Best Governor Ever! in Florida but who was forced to leave office because of term limits which are a just a big plot by Democrats to steal away the Majority from Real Americans. Bush is married to an attractive woman and has a family. Crist is single.

But Charlie sure is a snappy dresser. And he doesn't really know Mark Foley. Only met him at a couple of beach parties Republican Party events.

And he doesn't know that cute kid who said all those shocking things about him. Never met the kid.

On the Monday before election day in 2006, Crist (who is single) declined an invitation from the Greatest President Ever to attend a big rally that Karl Rove had set up for the candidate. That made Karl bitchy.

Also at the last moment in the campaign, Crist announced that he is now in favor of a Marriage Protection Amendment and didn't really mean any of that stuff he said before about supporting "Civil Unions." And, really, he doesn't know that cute kid. Maybe shook his hand once or twice, but can't really place the name.