Atlantic Ocean

The Atlantic Ocean is the big blue bit to the right of America on maps. Yes, the right... ok, the east... oh good grief! The Florida and New York side of the country!

God's Border Fence
It is the only thing stopping the nation from being invaded by hordes of illegal Europeean immigrants. Some say it also stops untold numbers of African immigrants flooding into America, but Colbericans all know there's no such place as Africa.

The Global Warming Myth
According to the factonistas and liberals, the Atlantic Ocean is set to grow in size because of global warming. They fret that a rise in its sea level will flood coastal America.

But there's some good news America! First of all, if it's an ocean it can't be susceptible to a rise in sea level. Second, we all know global warming doesn't exist, and even if it did, an expanding Atlantic Ocean would only make it harder or foreigners to pollute our land! Hah! Who's clever now hippies?!