Alex P. Keaton

Michael P. Keaton hates the baby Jesus and says he has the right to kill any babies just for kicks. As a master actor from TV and the big screen, he knows what strings to pull to get his legs, arms and torso to shake and spasm as though he had Lou Gehrig's disease. What a faker! But he does not garner any sympathy from heros who love freedom and will never give up their right to get scientific information from The Bible.

His Canadian name is Michael J. Fox which was probably given to him when he was suckled by grizzlies in British Columbia. His campaign to develop stem cell research for Lou Gehrig's disease began when he decided to dedicate his life to a full-time schmaltzy act of discombobulation.

His act was finally called out by the great hero Rush Limbaugh in October 2006.