ThanksTruthing

''Sharpen your carving knife and loosen your belt. You're coming over to my house for Thankstruthing.''

Thankstruthing is the time to bring truth into the fourth Thursday of November every year. It originated shortly after the holiday invented by Pilgrims known as Thanksgiving, where people indulge in the sinful acts of gluttony and sloth. The Pilgrims were resting lazily after the tryptophan from their turkey kicked in and realized that nothing truthful happened in their harvest. They decided to rename ThanksTruthing after a divine intervention by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA.

Celebration
Thankstruthing is celebrated in many ways. The most traditional celebration involves the good ol' fashioned hand turkey. But the Thankstruthing hand turkey has a twist: It's actually a Nancy Pelosi hand turkey.

Make many of these Nancy Pelosi hand turkeys and hang them on the refridgerator, walls, and doors to remind yourself how your vote for a democratic house destroyed America.
 * Get a blank piece of paper
 * Slam your fist down in frustration (no crying)
 * Trace hand
 * Add frowny face

Other methods of celebration include the making of truthsicles, violent hunts for Thankstruthing turkeys, truth-egg hunts, and playing truthball.

Food
Similar to Thanksgiving, Thankstruthing is chock-full of food to stuff your face with.
 * Turkey (with the liberal cut out... usually in the dark meat)
 * Stuffing (truth-flavored)
 * Truth Potatoes
 * Truth-on-the-cob
 * Green Bean Cassatruth
 * Bread Rolls of Truth
 * Kraft Crumbles (epitome of American Food)
 * Truthberry sauce
 * Pumpkin Pie (Made from truth-pumpkins)

People who Celebrate Thankstruthing
While it is to be celebrated by every America-loving citizen, the following people celebrate Thankstruthing better than everybody else:
 * Stephen Colbert
 * The Greatest President Ever
 * Aunt Jemima
 * Christians
 * George L.
 * Ted Haggard
 * Jesus H. Christ