Bear Invasion of 1993

The Bear Invasion of 1993 was an invasion of communist Bears from China on the Eastern seaboard of the United States of America on July 4, 1993. These Chinese bears decided that attacking America on our Independence Daywould give them a slight advantage. What it really did was piss off our good ole boys and we whipped us some bear asses. It was a truly good Fourth of July and a great way to honor our forefathers.

Though we won this battle, the invasion was the first of many bear attacks, dubbed the War on Bearorrism. Thanks to many patriots, namely Stephen Colbert, America has been quite successful in the war, which is believed to come to an end sometime around 2018.

NASA is currently working on a weapon, the Bear Death Ray of Fatality, that will destroy all bears in one swift move. It is expected to be operational by the end of 2016 and will hopefully be usable by 2018.