Bank



A bank is a building where knowledgeable Jews hold your money until you're ready to spend it. Bankers are men who run banks and own the Senate.

NOTES2
Fewer hedge funds under SEC watch

Foreclosure: Quickest Way to Make Money
If you fail to pay your mortgage (and sometimes you dont even have to have a mortgage for the bank to take over your property, for it is a new way for the bank to streamline the process and cut through the bureaucracy to save the bank's time) by law the bank owns your property (regardless of any libural facts that say otherwise, because we have forge documents that say otherwise and that contract must be honored) and that means they can take over you home and sell it to make up for the loses. But recently the communist government has decided to stop this practice, because it only benefits the bank! The Obama Administration is demanding free money and free housing to be given to the poor and they are accusing the banks of misconduct, thievery, identity theft, fraud, and other libural fabrications against bankers.

According with Patriotic sources, Welfare Queens are refusing to be evicted from bank owned houses. Hey, mister! That's bank property, get off our land!

It is time for people to take responsibility for their own problems and stop blaming the bank for all their ills.

Update
If John Stewart is against it, then it must be good.

Update II
Wall Street has decided the solution to fix the economy is to have more fools investors to buy their toxic junk Mortgage Securities. Which is why Wall Street will dabble in Alchemist and create homunculus to buy their products.

Emergency Update
Communist Government is trying to take over, help!!!!

Job Market
Good news, we just have an opening for you. No experience required!

Value Meal Mortgages

 * Get it now!

Update 2
Bankers and Wall Street will sue homeowners for lying, stealing, and cheating the American Tax Payers!

Also, bankers are getting a present this year!

Banksta Under Attack!
Bank of America is under attack, the communist mooslims Administration wants to take over!

Free Market Judge Helps to Save America's Economy
The best way to combat Activist Judges is to find Free Market Judges willing to help us save our economy!

Hippie Communist Threatens Banks!
Wall Street, you are our only hope! Our profits are under threat!

Emergency News:
We have shocking news that communists hippies are trying to stop banks from making money! These welfare queens are interfering with the will of the Free Market and they must be punished!

The Free Market has decided to fight back these communist monsters!

Free Checking
Free Checking is for socialists and the banking industry agrees that it is time to end this entitlement gimmick, otherwise we will create a generation of welfare queens demanding free services from our Capitalist Banks.

Tax Privatization
Because it is better than Government Taxes, it is free market taxes, the best taxes money can buy!

Stealing Repossession
Our banks just found a new way to make more profits, and it is legal!

Bankstas 4 Life
The Megabank of JPMorgan will always be a gangsta and an OG (Original Gangsta).


 * David Widlak We miss u, buddy.
 * Martin Erzinger Get well soon, buddy.

Employees of the Year

 * Robots: They dont ask questions, they have no conscience or morality, and they obey absolutely all commands. The perfect employee!
 * The Treasury Department gets an honorary gangsta badge.

Rocket Docket: Anti-Judicial Activism
To combat Activist Judges and their pernicious communist agenda, bankers have demanded free-market friendly judges to deal their cases. These free market judges are not only efficient but fast!

Foreclosure Economy
America, the foreclosure economy is the future!

Banks Vs Wikileaks
Bank of America is being threatened by Wikileaks for making too much money, but do not worry for Bank of America will hire Blackwater to solve their problem and if all else fail, Bank of America will like to spend more time with their families.

Emergency News
This is not a drill! The communists are now trying to steal our banks!!!

Do Not Also See

 * Nationalization

External Tubes

 * List of America's Top Banks!
 * List of America's Most Awesome Banks!
 * Dialing for Derivatives
 * America's Greatest Payday Loan Service Ever!
 * Proof that Banks should always be private companies!
 * How to be a Banksta!
 * Zombie banks walk among us
 * Regulation is destroying America's banks!
 * New Sperm Bank will be accepting new "deposits" with attractive rates
 * New 'Harry And Louise' Ads To Sink Consumer Agency Coming Soon!
 * Communist policy denies banks' right to make money!
 * Capitalist Bank sues Commie Bank
 * Welfare Family Cheats Banks!
 * Bank makes new profits
 * Bank of America's new customer service wins award
 * Hippie Commies demands CEO to give away his summer home!
 * Evil libural welfare queen threatens banks!!!
 * Evil hippies slanders banker
 * Bankers fearing for their life
 * Bankers to rescue Ultra Rich Real Americans from poverty!
 * Welfare Queen demands free money from banks
 * Bankers suffering under economic crisis... forced to eat at cheap eatery
 * Bankers Agree: 2009 to become a profitable year
 * Bank of America looses valuable CEO
 * Banks that are too big to fail to buy smaller banks to save economy
 * Hippies forces CEOs to go bankrupt!
 * JP Morgan demands right to be bigger and wealthier
 * Libural Judge punishes Bank!!!
 * Bank fires thief
 * Banks declares war against Communist Government
 * Democrats are trying to corrupt bankers!
 * Bankers to sue game maker
 * Tax Cuts are saving our Economy!
 * Sexy Dirty Money saved America's Economy!
 * God's bankers arrested!
 * Government's Socialist Distribution of Wealth destroys America's banks
 * Socialist activist Judge threatens to bankrupt banks!
 * Bank wants banker to go to jail for fraud: his scheme made us no money!
 * Judicial Activism continues to plague our Free Market!!
 * Bank continues to fight dangerous cancer known as Welfare Queens
 * We make more money than Gawd
 * Bank fights back against Welfare Queens
 * Commie mooslim President wont sign law to help Bank make more money. President hates America
 * Nine Ways the banking industry can make a profit
 * How banks are helping us on fighting communist spies and hippies
 * GOP to help poor bankers to get more money
 * Bankers to bring new profits to Nation
 * Banks to buy a new pet
 * Bank of America to buy their image back
 * Bank to continue fight against Wikileaks
 * Emergency News: Libural college endangers banking security, more damaging than Wikileaks
 * Banker to get paid tons of money after saving the Economy
 * More communists continue their slander against Bank of America
 * Bags of Sh#t now more valuable than Gold!
 * Homeless Squatters and Welfare Queens refuse to return house to bankers
 * Banks demand fair trials, no more socialism
 * another socialist robs bank
 * Internet Pirates bullying Bank of America! Greatest Threat to our profits!
 * Thief goes to prison for causing economic crisis. CEOs celebrate!
 * The Horror! Activist Judges stealing from banks!