Oshawa

The name Oshawa comes from a native word meaning "it smell like car factories and KFC" which is odd because there is only one KFC in Oshawa. This small city has a population of about 300,000 citizens, half of whom work for GM, 30% collect welfare or deal drugs in the south side, 14.99% work in some small office building down town, 5% don't have to work because there parents are loaded and .01% work at KFC.

The Sh'wa, as Oshawa'ians like to call it, is the home town of GM Canada. Many people in the Sh'wa like to brag about the fact that if R. S. McLaughlin had not sold the McLaughlin Motor Car Co. to General Motors; Oshawa would be Toronto and Toronto would be Oshawa. However, this is just a load of bull.

Geography
There are three south sides to Oshawa, progressively getting worse the farther south you go: South of King Street, South of the Tracks, and finally South of Bond St.

South of King is just older buildings and bad shopping except at the Oshawa Centre where everything is over priced and you can watch home videos of people falling off ski hills in the food court. There are a lot of apartments here where the hallways smell like cat pee, but the rent is pretty fair.

South of the tracks is full of low income housing. Not too much criminal activity because most of the residents beat there kids if the act up. Favorite pass times for children south of the tracks include throwing McDonalds ketchup packets onto cars on the highway from bridges.

South of Bond is Ghetto: Welfare, drugs and hoes. Just drives down to the beach as fast as you can and don’t stop for anyone, chances are that they are diseased. The only good thing about South of Bond Oshawa is Lakeview Park... just don't go swimming or you'll end up as the fifth Fantastic Four.

Sports
Oshawa is home to the OHL team the Oshawa Generals. They may not be the greatest... but they are still better than the Peterborough Petes.

No body likes Peterborough.

Down Town
While there has been a lot of development in North Oshawa, and is the most popular city for home owners, the city still smells bad and Down Town Oshawa is full of creepers, specifically one guy with a purple shirt who lives at the corner of King and Simcoe... he likes to follow girls.

There are two comic book stores down town, Worlds Collide and Wyld Star. The guy who owns Wyld Star won't accept resumes but he'll let you clean his shop for free. They have DeadPool AND Betty Phage comics!

Every other restaurant downtown has Chinese food. The people of Oshawa love Chinese food.

Stephen
The people of Oshawa love Stephen Colbert and have invited him to come celebrate "Stephen Colbert Day (March 20) with the first annual 'grin and bear it' festival.