Breaking News/Archive/032009

Operation Chaos Success!!!
The Black one will surrender!

'''The Patriotic States of America. March 10, 2009''' - Nation! I have some good news!! The Glorious Chairman of the Republican Party just informed that Operation Chaos is working!! With so much pressure and blunders, we suspect that the Black One will have no choice but to quit!!! We did it!!!!!!!!! What a glorious day for the GOP!!

GOP: Rise of The Real Americans
Republicans will Take White House!!

'''The United States of Real America. March 10, 2009''' - Nation, there are no words for it. Now that The Glorious Chairman of The Republican Party is leading us back to glory, we have seeing the rise of many political super stars that will help us to get there… if we don’t act now, the socialist one will win…

Shocking News!!! Terrorist Agent Planned to Attack US
 Homeland Security Alert Threat: Red 

'''The Godforsaken States of Islamofacist America. March 9, 2009''' - Nation!!! Shocking News!!! A terrorist agent, named Santino Mohammed Bananas, was planning to attack American citizens!! But thankfully Real Americans were able to capture him and incarcerate him before it was too late… no thanks to Obama™… you see, the hippie bear loving liberals have a thing against incarceration of un-americans terrorists… But the Department of Homeland Security believes they have enough evidence to incarcerate him forever to get him a fair trial and send him to prison according with the terms of our Nation because the mooslim one says so… *sight*… anyway a victory is a victory…

“We believe that the terrorist was stockpiling WMDs to use against America and other western nations,” claimed a DHS agent. According with DHS they believe the terrorist had some help so they tried to torture him interrogate him, but ever since we have That One as our president we are not allowed to torture anymore interrogate, and instead “we must ask nicely”… which is clearly difficult because the terrorist started to hurdle his feces and pee on the agent when he tried to interrogating him ask him politely all of his terrorists plans… “sometimes I miss the Real President…” claimed the DHS agent…

…As you can see America, we are not safe under the mooslim administration, this is not the first time we had a terrorist attack… just a couple of days ago we experienced the horrors of terrorism. We suspect that terrorist agent, Travis Admadinnerjihadtallymebanana may had connections with Obama™

Clearly… we are not safe!

mooslim economy a failure
GOP demands answers

'''The Real America. March 8, 2009''' - Nation, the mooslim leader is destroying America!! So far he has done nothing to fix America’s economy!! While Real Americans are suffering, we just learned that Obama’s lackey, Timothy Geithner, spends his days lasing around, rather than working!! He spent six hours playing video games rather than to bother on spending his precious time in fixing the economy!! For shame!!!

Why hasn’t Timothy Geithner done anything to fix our America? Because he hates America!!! The reason that he didn’t paid taxes before, it wasn’t because of a mistake or an attempt to evade taxes… he just hates America!!

Nation. This is a very shameful thing, we must do our best to sabotage Obama’s™ attempt to fix our economy rescue America!!

But I have some good news!! First we were able to stop Terrorists from entering America!!! We DID IT!!

Not only that, but I heard that the GOP were able to stop the hippie bear-loving liberals from robbing America’s money! Now we should be able to implement Real solutions to save our economy!! We DID IT!!!!

I am so excited with the GOP’s plan to solve our economy, is so simple and so easy that even a bear can do it… but bears are commies so they wont do it:


 * 1. Freeze spending


 * 2. ????


 * 3. America’s Economy is Saved!!!

There, the GOP saved America… again!

SHOCKING NEWS: OBAMA IS NOT AMERICAN!!!
Rush Limbaugh: I always knew…

'''The Patriotic Super States of Real America!! USA!! USA!! March 7, 2009''' - Nation, I have some great news!!! I have privilege information that the Supreme Court will overturn the election and instead throw a new election!!! I have never been so proud of my town… you see Real American Hero and Attorney John Hemenway of Colorado Springs, Colorado decided to take the case against the mooslim terrorists!! He believes he has actual evidence that could overturn this whole mess!!!! I haven’t heard much from the case, but I was told the Judge was shock and angry!!! I bet the Judge was angry because he was fooled like the rest of America… Can’t wait for the results!!

About time we deal with the mooslim problem… as you know the mooslim leader popularity has plummeted to the lowest number… probably in the negatives. And rumor has it he has been negotiating with terrorists…

So it is time to oust him and bring back the GOP in power!!! hold new elections, but I think that would be a waste of time… we know who will be the new president… of course Rush Limbaugh, The Glorious GOP Chairman should be the new President!!!

A lot has happened lately, all of it good for the GOP. First we have a new rising star in the GOP, Bobby Jindal Whiteman, that young man has a bright future. Then a few days later the GOP elected Rush Limbaugh as our new leader!!! Rejoice!! The decision was so well received that it left the liberals running for the hills!

To the liberals who thought the GOP was finish… “Our Party is stronger as EVER!!!”

UN-AMERICAN NEWS: WORLD HATES US
mooslim leader will seek to destroy America forever to appease foreigners…

March 7, 2009 - Nation… I don’t think the mooslim leader likes our Allies, specially the badteeth-teasucking-gaysounding British people. All because he has a beef with the British Empire, because they oppressed his granddaddy, drove his father to depression and alcoholism, and they enslaved several of his ancestors to be brought to a merciless racist count… I think he hates British People… but he does love drag queens… maybe if the British were “actually” gay, maybe the mooslim leader would care about them… When The Greatest President Ever was our leader, he regale our subjects British Allies with the British flags, large state banquets, ostentatious fanfare, and an orchestra to greet them whenever they came to our shores!! After all we needed their troops to fight the Terrorists They are our Allies, we should treat our guess properly! How dare Obama™ to embarrass our ally!

Things are so bad diplomatically that the Europeans are already tired of the mooslim leader. They are so sick of him that they have decided to form a “Socialist Axis of Ebil”… you hear me! Europe is seeking allies to destroy America! The European Union approached Canada to form their Axis of Ebil… so France will count as the third partner since Ebil Axis of Powers need three Ebil guys… (the reason is that even the EU cant stand the French…) IF the EU-Canada-French decide to invade… at least I hope they take New York first… that is one sissified town (I blame the Gays…)

UN-AMERICAN NEWS: SOCIALIST ECONOMY TOOK MY MONEY!!!
Foreigners are still un-american and still refusing to speak American

'''The Islamicfacist States of Liberal Gayfacist Nations. March 7, 2009''' - Nation, I am reporting from a “secret location”, because of “unforeseeable” events… I was forced to relocate until the authorities stop chasing me until I know I am safe from the bears… Anyway that wont stop me from writing what has been happening and how the liberal bear-loving gayfeast hippies are destroying America and the world!

Nation, I am sure you heard the doom and gloom, about how important it was to pass the big spending package to save America... now the mooslim leader is asking for more money… what a surprise... May I remind you that the fundamentals of the economy are still strong is not all that bad… you see Nation, while things look “a little bad”, that does not mean we should start “socialist programs” to help un-american traitors who aren't good with money... instead we should embrace the new opportunities of the free market! ON SALE MANSIONS, YATCHS, FERRARIS, ALL MUST GO!!! LOW LOW PRICES, YOU WILL THINK THEY ARE INSANE!!!

Nation, I am not an Ultra Rich Wealthy man, like our Beloved Stephen Colbert, but I do dream of being Ultra Rich one day, which is why I am working in my own ponzi scheme which is why I am working in my own entrepreneurial business. However, because of the mooslim one, I fear that my imaginary future dollars will be seized and will go to the hippie liberal socialist’s pockets to fund a possible future socialist workers paradise… so I refuse to work to pay to the socialist leader!! Take That!!! How do you like me now?? You cant take my money since I don’t have any!!! Nation, join me in my protest, quit your job, shut down your business, or sell everything to a dollar, that way he wont have none of our American Money!!!

Oh, yeah some joo has been harassing the free market and our Real Americans, someone should arrest him and send him to Guantanamo like we always do

I am tired of hearing about how the poor needs more health care… more like they will use the free money for booze, drugs, and hookers!… Nation, I don’t have to tell you that we are wasting good money on a bad idea. But if the poor are so desperate on having health care, I propose a profitable plan free market plan that will help us collect money to fund some socialist health care AND stop the liberals from having sex! Nation, I will say it again, let the free market decide. We Conservatives are compassionate to the cries of the unfortunate… but business is business…

mooslim leader in his last throes
banks and businesses welcome GOP as idiots liberators

'''The Islamofacist States of Obamamerica. March 5, 2009''' - Nation, unfortunately I don’t have much of a time… you see a friend of mine and I received a letter… this letter was suppose to protect us from "Evil Liberal Spirits"... because we did some disgusting patriotic things... But, because of “unforeseeable” events I was forced to flee I must take a vacation… but the hippie bear-loving liberals don’t like patriots, so they are rounding us up… I have to be in Canada by tomorrow so lets do this quickly!

First, I would like to congratulate to The Glorious Chairman of the GOP, Rush Limbaugh! According with sources we have devised a new plan to reclaim both the White House and Congress… strangely enough Republicans called in sick today… maybe tomorrow we will convene to impose enforce implement the plan… by now the democrats must be running for the hill!!

Nation, we have a large army of Real Americans ready to stop That One, we all want the same: For Obama™ to Fail For America to Succeed!!

As you know the previous administration accidentally the mooslim leader has purposely destroy America’s economy beyond repair, his socialist policies have proven to be a complete failure… but don’t worry we will fix it soon! We have the trust of the Free Market to bring back Capitalism… Yeah!!

But it is not over yet, we have evidence that Obama™ has established an Unholy Alliance with the Gay Polar Bear Army!!! AND The Gays have already deployed their own forces!!

SUPER GOP PARTY WILL RESCUE REAL AMERICA AGAINST MOOSLIM THREAT
socialism is made of fail

'''The Real Super United States of The Greatest America. March 3, 2009''' - Nation, it is a glorious time for the GOP. Now that we have the right leadership, The Glorious GOP Chairman Rush Limbaugh, to lead the Republican Party to everlasting glory. We will be able to restore our rightful power and start our plan for an eternal GOP Empire place into the hands of Real Americans. I am sad to announce that the co-chairman of something will be spending more time with his family, but I am sure we shall remember his contribution to our Nation, Mr… errr… I forgot his name, but you shall not be forgotten…

Thanks to the efforts of The Glorious GOP Chairman and Real Americans, the mooslim leader’s popularity has sank to the lowest numbers, we are close to an impeachment!!!

But Nation, we are still a long way to go to save America. Liberty and Capitalism is at risk and we must stop the socialist mooslim leader on destroying America forever. We must make sure that Obama™ fails America succeeds!!! Unfortunately there are un-american traitors that have not sworn eternal loyalty, allegiance, and fealty to The Glorious GOP Chairman allegiance to America…

There is also the problem of the “undesirables” that are still infesting our beloved American land, we must expel them before they destroy America! There are of no use to us, for they continue to steal Real American jobs, demand free money, and avoid paying taxes!

But fortunately the Ultra Rich Real Americans are fighting back against the mooslim’s socialist agenda. There are many Real Americans suffering, and we must do our best to rescue them… except for the poor, only the Free Market can help us now, not socialism!!

The liberals have failed to undermine traditional family values, thanks to our homophobic anti-gay The Real American Traditional Family Values policies. But the hippie bear-loving liberals are still undermining Real America by selling hardcore drugs to the sick our children!! The Battle is not over!

Also, I would like to give a message to the hippie bear-loving liberals and un-american traitors… surrender… you are in your last throes… and apologize to our New Glorious GOP Chairman for destroying America… or there will be no mercy...

The Greatest Ex-President Ever Kept America Safe!!
Super GOP demands “Medal of Freedom” to be given

'''The United Patriotic States of Super Real America Capitalism. March 3, 2009''' - Nation, everyday that goes by is another possible terrorist threat that we cannot afford… Back in the The Greatest President Ever’s administration, America was safe… and it wasn’t just safe, we were this close to secure America forever, to get rid of the “undesirables”, and establish a Permanent Empire Christian Nation.

But hippie bear-loving liberals waved The Constitutions some piece of paper saying we were “oppressing” them… Hey hippie bear-loving liberals! Is called “being liberated”… we are giving you freedom… the freedom of being a Real American or else…

Nation… I feel nostalgic… I miss the Bush years. The years in which we taught how God created our world in an Intelligent Design manner, now we are teaching how to have lots of sex and abortions. They are threatening the purity and soul of our children!

I miss the days when the free market was free affordable for the Ultra Rich Real Americans… now we live under the regime of “socialism”… We have abandoned our capitalism principles and tossed liberal money on wasteful programs!

But thankfully we have the Ultra Super Cool GOP Party being lead by a Real American Hero… Rush Limbaugh!!

Oh yeah, some black dude is co-chair of something… forgot his name…

mooslim one is threat to America
I want him to fail on safety!!

'''The Atomic Apocalypse of America. March 3, 2009''' - Nation, we are in great danger. There are mooslim terrorists everywhere!! Just yesterday a beggar asked me for change! terrorist tried to suicide bomb me!!

I don’t feel safe with That One as commander in chief… how do we know he didn’t just hire gay bears to watch over our borders??

Nation, we need to bring back George Bush brand of National Security, it worked so well in the past…

I believe Obama™ is a threat not just to our nation, but also to our Constitution that we worked so hard to destroy protect…

New New GOP Chairman Gives The Greatest Speech Ever!!!
GOP demands a new election to elect Real American Hero, Rush Limbaugh as President

'''The Greatest Country in the Planet, America. March 2, 2009''' - WOOOHOOO!!! Have you seeing his speech at the CPAC? Rush Limbaugh gave one of the greatest speeches ever!!! Future generations will study it, worship it, and to be recited for ever lasting days!!

His speech was so great that the GOP decided to crown him as The New Chairman of the GOP!!! Even Steele was speechless, “I don’t think of it as a demotion, more like a great opportunity for me to spend more time with my family…” Steele accepted the position as co-chairman of something…

Rumor has it that Obama™ is running for the hills!!! WE ARE BACK, BABY!!!

I am so excited about this new change, we can finally start to get rid of the “undesirables”, chase out the liberals, and not be afraid of rescuing America for Real Americans!!!!

Finally, we can go back to doing Real Jobs… which is restoring the free market and securing America against liberal gay terrorists… you know who you are!

Nation, I am sooo happy of having Rush Limbaugh as our New GOP Chairman... Nothing can stop us now!!!

mooslim leader is a puppet!!
Obama’s father was Gepetto

'''The Real America. March 1, 2009''' - Nation, we have discovered some shocking news! We just discovered that the mooslim leader is not a real leader at all! He is just a puppet, and the real leader is the ebil demon known as Nancy-succubus Pelosi!!

Nation, Obama™ is just some poor black man that the liberals picked from the streets (we suspect that That One is just some homeless, uneducated, underprivileged liberal that was promised a sandwich if he played his role). They schemed a plot to use this poor ignorant to control BOTH the White house and Congress! It was a liberal conspiracy!!!

Obama™’s history was all made up… even his name is made up! We suspect that the liberal hippie bear-loving democrats were scheming to establish a liberal-democratic order FOREVER!

Nation, I don’t know about you but I feel betrayed… backstabbed… and hurt… One should not be surprised of the democrats’ unpatriotic behavior. The GOP first tried to establish a bipartisanship relation with the new administration, but instead the democrats turned their backs on America… and now we discovered that the mooslim administration is a lie… hell, I bet the black president is not even mooslim, but some fabricated propaganda that the democrats invented to win the black mooslim vote… wait… how do we know that Obama is even black? For all we know he is a white man smeared in charcoal and soot

But fear not Nation! The GOP is a trustworthy party! All of their members are honest and Real Americans! And we will save America at all cost! We should be grateful that the GOP Co-Chairman, Rush Limbaugh, has developed a great economic plan that will be implemented as soon as we come with one as soon as we think is the right time…