John Madden

John Madden is a former American football coach of the Oakland Raiders who became a sports broadcaster and inventor. Among his inventions are the turducken, rambling color commentary, the Telestrator (aka the electronic chalkboard, which allowed him to illustrate with Xs, Os, and arrows the movement of players on the field in the last play of the game in freeze-frame motion while the next play was halfway in progress), and the football video game.

Madden notoriously has a fear of flying which has subsided over the years thanks to President [[George W. Bush]'s efforts to keep America's skies safe.