Iraq Tourism and Antiquities Ministry

The Iraq Ministry Of Tourism is now open for business. Come visit modern Mesopotamia for a steal!

=Travel To And From Iraq= Americans will be supplied with a private aircraft carrier, similar to the one The Greatest President Ever captained when he declared the end to major combat operations, for their trip to and from Iraq.

=Amenities In Iraq=
 * room in the Green Zone
 * personal Blackhawk escorts
 * indoor plumbing
 * air conditioning
 * American fast food

Tours Available

 * Green Zone Highlights
 * Sunni Triangle Highlights
 * Hinterland Highlights

=Green Zone Highlights=

Things To Do

 * pull down a replica Saddam Hussein statue
 * blow up the Golden Mosque (not a replica)
 * visit the only working air conditioner
 * take electrifying showers!
 * you will receive a pamphlet showing the entire membership of the COW
 * pee in the Tigris or Euphrates River (or both for a fee!)

Places To Visit

 * U.S. Embassy Complex
 * The L. Paul Bremer Art Exhibit
 * The General David Petreaus Underground Freedom Bunker

=Sunni Triangle Highlights=

Places To Visit

 * Tikrit
 * Samarra
 * Fallujah
 * Greater Baghdad, which includes:
 * Ramadi
 * Sadr City
 * the John McCain Shopping Bazaar
 * and the Abu Gharaib Prison Experience
 * featuring The Blackwater-Halliburton Electric Golden Waterboarding Palace

=Hinterland Highlights= The Iraq Ministry of Tourism offers several tour packages of the hinterlands of Iraq:

Places To Visit

 * Mosul
 * Kirkuk
 * Tal Afar

Places To Visit

 * Haditha
 * Karbala

Places To Visit

 * Basra
 * Najaf