Toby Keith



American karate expert with the most supple lips. The only living person known to hold a quadruple, double-secret super-black belt. His signature move is the "ketsunoana bu-to ushiro geri" or the Boot in the Ass kick. After 9/11 Toby was unafraid to be courageous and come out against Osama bin Laden.

On the November 14, 2005 episode of The Report, Stephen expressed the hope that when bin Laden is caught, Toby be allowed to put a boot up his ass. Stephen also predicted that Toby's song As Good As I Once Was would win at the 2005 Country Music Association awards for Song Of The Year. Stephen almost called it: As Good As I Once Was won Music Video of The Year.

However, Toby Keith has been declared a Threat Down for narcing on Willie Nelson.

Amerigasm
On October 19, 2006, Keith proudly posted on his website that "Toby Keith Plays With His Guitar And Spews Forth An Amerigasm Of Song About Ford Trucks," thus firing the latest salvo in the Ford-Chevy Truck Wars.

His new song, "I Am A Workin' Man," was written to counter the challenge posed by John Mellencamp's "This Is Our Country," written for Chevy trucks. After writing the song, Toby proceded to stick an eagle up John Mellencamp's ass.

"I Am A Workin' Man"
Music and Lyrics by Toby Keith

I gotta get up early I gotta be on time I've got to go bust it Man, I got to go get mine, I am that kinda guy..... And I want a piece of that American pie I put a lot of sweat Into the job at hand You can count on me I am a .... workin' man!!!! So when it's quitting time And you've had enough I'm still good to go, baby Cuz I'm Built Ford Tough

Factoid

 * Toby is a Ford truck man.
 * Toby re-established the fact that putting boots in peoples asses, or bunker busters in their hospitals, offices, neighboring countries, or schools is the American way.