Barbara Cartland

Dame Barbara Cartland was one of the most successful writers of smut in British literary history. Alas, God chose to take her from the unappreciative Earth at the tender age of 99 years. No doubt there was a need for sleazy romance novels in Heaven.

Ms. Cartland wrote a total of 657 novels. These philosophical works were cranked out often in a matter of weeks, showing that women really do appreciate things that are hastily delivered and poorly executed.

But one of Cartland's lasting legacies was her visionary writing talents. Indeed, she foresaw the meteoric rise of Stephen Colbert and captured his manly essence in one of her last "works" - Sol' Lonely Tonight.