Republican

The Republican Party is the best party to have ever existed. That's why it's called the GOP (Grand Old Party). Founded by Jesus Christ, it is a God-fearing, capitalist party. It is primarily composed of corporate executives, pastors, church-goers, heterosexuals, the white upper-middle class, and all sane freedom-loving peoples. There is a rumor circulating of a homosexual African-American Republican, but most agree that it is hearsay.



Republicans pride themselves in their strict opposition to Democrats, Communists, Socialists, terrorists, taxes, impoverished peoples, and Hillary Clinton. Some notable famous Republicans are Jesus Christ, George W. Bush, Stephen Colbert, and Big Bird.

Main Republican Beliefs

 * 1) George W. Bush, the best president ever, was appointed by God.
 * 2) The right to own a twenty room mansion, three SUVs, a yacht, and a private jet, without having to pay taxes on them, is guaranteed in the Constitution.
 * 3) Illegal Aliens should be dealt with strictly.
 * 4) While the television show, "The Simpsons" is rather stupid, their neighbor makes a rather lot of sense.
 * 5) Homeless people want to be homeless.
 * 6) Barack Obama is the Antichrist.
 * 7) Or Hillary Clinton
 * 8) The Terminator is gay.
 * 9) The "D" next to a candidate's name means "Don't vote for me."

Important Texts Supported by Republicans

 * The Bible
 * The Second Amendment