Lemonade Stand

A Lemonade Stand is a tool that parents use to teach the values of capitalism to our children.

How To Start Your Own Lemonade Stand
'''Also, you should do your best at all times to corner the market in lemonade and citrus-related products by ensuring you add high quantities of sugar to each cup, thus ensuring customer addiction and loyalty. Diversify your brand and keep changing 'em up: sell some in red cups to boys, and sparkly cups to girls, leave some bits of lemon in another one and call it 'organic', get some covered cups with straws so you can sell to people with an on-the-go lifestyle (or who'd like one). This way you present a false image of choice to your consumer, who ends up believing they can buy the life they desire. Write a school report on the dangers of orange juice, so the kids down the road go out of business and you can shark on their market share (if you can pay the local drunk to hang out by their stand, that's cool.) Put the prettiest girl you can find behind the stand, and train her to make big ol' gaping eyes at the adults who walk by. Remember, kid, you ain't in the business of selling lemons -- the lemons don't matter -- you're in the business of plying people's dreams and desires, gutting them and bleeding them dry.'''

Capitalism for Children 101

Socialist Lemonade Stand


Unlike the Real American version of a lemonade stand, the socialist lemonade stand believes that people should drink free lemonade at no charge, that's madness!

External Tubes

 * Terry Savage: "Tear Down This Socialist Lemonade Stand"
 * Police shuts down illegal Lemonade Stand