Chuck Norris

Toughest Man EVER (except for Stephen Colbert)
Chuck Norris is the strongest, most lethal man on the planet. He is a Ninja Cowboy......and yet will all that responsibility....he still finds time to suck balls.

Background
Chuck Norris wasn’t born, he roundhouse kicked his way out of the whom and preceded to kill everyone in the room with his bare baby hands, all save his mother. Chuck Norris’s childhood was spent single handily winning World War One.

He came into manhood in the 1930’s. The Great Depression was actually started by men all over the world realizing their inadequacies compared to Chuck Norris and becoming depressed, and all of the ugly women in the world realizing they couldn’t sleep with him and becoming depressed. After personally killing all the Nazi’s and throwing the atomic bomb at Japan to end World War Two, he spent the next few decades fighting ninja’s. Chuck Norris did not partake in the Vietnam War; if so all of the Vietnamese would be dead.

There is no such thing as evolution, only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris despises square architechture. He once kicked all the corners off his home, giving his signiture move its name.