Nobel Prize for Literature

Like its more popular big brother, the Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel Prize for Literature represents the best efforts of a bunch of snobby European liberals to tell the rest of us how we should be more like them. Along with the rest of the Nobel Prizes, this award is given annually to honor literary works of "outstanding idealistic tendencies" (i.e., filthy anti-American propaganda).

The Ignoble Nobels
For example, when the Catholic Church-hating, twice-imprisoned, communist, anarchist satirist Dario Fo won his Nobel Propaganda Prize in 1997, he was commended for "'...scourging authority and upholding the dignity of the downtrodden. With a blend of laughter and gravity he opens our eyes to abuses and injustices in society and also the wider historical perspectives in which they can be placed.'" Yet very little research will reveal that Dario Fo has almost certainly never an eagle named for him. Even more likely, he does not have an adopted leatherback turtle daughter. I would be willing to stake good odds on the fact that no minor league hockey team has made their mascot in his honor.

Come on, Swedish Academy. Do you have any sense of true literary appreciation left to you? Do you still remember what really makes a great work, or are you all just dead inside? I guess the proof will be in 2008's delicious, Stephen-flavored pudding.