Christine O'Donnell



Christine O'Donnell is a former satanist fun-lovin' gal and wholesome anti-masturbatiojn activist who wont have sex until she is elected as the Tea Bagging Senator of Delaware.

The Wisdom Of Christine

 * icdb (The Internets Christine Database)
 * Quotes for mining


 * Christine is not possessed
 * She did not attend the University of Oxford but she did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
 * Christine tells America who she is--in song! (she's not a witch or a politician, she's you!)

Her Anti-Masturbation Agenda



 * promises to watch those perverts 24-7
 * Endorses Hitachi brand Magic Wand!

Our only solution against this abominable act of adultery in the eyes of God is to marry our hand to make the sexual union between man and hand to be a valid one.

(No one tells Sweetness!)

In addition...
However, if one were to engage in pre-marital sex prior to the Christian blessing of God-Approved marital relations, one would be forgiven if one's partner were in a Christian rock band.

So, in conclusion, not all pre-marital sex is created equal.

Masturbation Update
O'Donnell recently compared gays in the military as equally offensive as adulterers in the military. Stephen Colbert using his gut power made a shocking discovery, by using O'Donnell's logic we have a secret dark side to masturbation:

IF $$Masturbating =$$ $$Committing$$ $$Adultery$$ AND $$Being$$ $$Gay$$ in the Military $$=$$ $$Committing$$ $$Adultery$$ in the Military THEN by the transitive property of gut power Masturbating = $$Being$$ $$Gay$$

This could only mean one thing, Stephen Colbert is gay married to his hand!! He has been doing it with a dude all along!!! Stephen Colbert fell on the liburals' trap!!! Damn you gays, you got him!!!

Oh, and one more thing
Never look at suggestive images, that makes resisting the bating almost impossible. (But at least there was no sex!)

Tea Bagging Agenda

 * Jubs: She will bring new jubs to her State, starting with herself!
 * Education for Real Americans only
 * No More Sex
 * No More Bailouts
 * Restore Christian Morality to America Joos, you are on your own "Anne Frank is on the third floor in a room behind the bookcase."
 * Destroy the Libural Media
 * Cut funds for a cure to AIDS Gay Fads
 * Destroy the RINOs
 * Evolution Schmevolution
 * Bring Back Creationism to the classroom
 * Eliminate Laziness
 * to finally put Bill Clinton behind bars
 * Stop the mutated mice army
 * Arrest the sun for sexual molestation
 * Outlaw Magic. Harry Potter, you are on Notice!
 * No More Czars
 * To solve the Gay Issue, America must become Asexual
 * Save our Churches from The Big Communist Government
 * Impeach the Activist Judges in the Supreme Court

BFFs

 * Pamela Geller Dead to us.

Haters

 * Has-been hippie gay-loving traitor
 * Her lesbo sister she is dead to her...
 * Teh Gey traitor
 * FiveThirtyEight
 * Pro-masturbators
 * Meghan McCain
 * WDEL1150AM We are going to sue you, buddy! You think we wont? We need the money!

Official Tubes



 * Bio
 * All you wanted to know about Christine but you were too libural to ask
 * Christine to change her name to The Younger Sarah Palin
 * Her father was Bozon The Clown! She can help us fight the mime menace!
 * The Misadventures of Christine
 * Christine O'Donnell is a Gutstitutional Scholar

Christine O'Donnell: Gutstitutional Skoolar
Christine O'Donnell has study the Constitution for many decades years months weeks days hours minutes a long time and she has a proper grasp and understanding of the spirit of the Constitution than the Democrats. Her debate at Widener University Law School impressed a lot of legal scholars and law students that at the end of the debate, they left the auditorium in tears and cheers. They were so impressed with her knowledge of the Constitution that even the media cant help but talk about it too!

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;"

See, nowhere does it says "Separation of Church and State", nowhere!

Christine O'Donnell has promised that she will protect the 14 Commandments of the Gutstitution when she wins.

Constitutional Scholar Rush Limbaugh agrees with O'Donnell. Silly Democrats and Anderson Cooper...

Christine Wins Debate! Congratulations, Senator

Gutstitutional Update!
Christine O'Donnell has recently declared that Freedom of the Press is not in the Gutstitution. It says "the freedom of speech, or of the press", not Freedom of the Press!! Gutstitutional scholars believe this evidence enough to ban the liberal media and anyone who refuses to follow the new law will be imprisoned!

Edjukashun:



 * Yale University
 * University of Oxford
 * Claremont Graduate University
 * Princeton University
 * Fairleigh Dickin g son University
 * Grifter University
 * Glenn Beck's University
 * Tea Bagging University
 * Colbert University
 * Stephen Colbert "University"
 * Clown College

...look she has a diploma... right?...

Likes:

 * Meatballs

Dislikes:

 * Vegans

Campaign News:



 * Moar Moneys, Please!!!!! I dont wanna go back to eating ramen!!!
 * Christine O'Donnell's Plan B to win election

The Christine O'Donnell Savings Account Campaign Fund:

 * $15,000 goes missing from Warchest Christine promises to find missing money.

External Tubes

 * Tea Party wins!
 * Tea Baggers declare Delaware to be theirs!
 * Even Democrats support O'Donnell!
 * Liburals terrified! Welcomes Tea Baggers Overlords
 * Republican Goddess Talks about Teh Sexxxor
 * Christine O'Donnell no need no stinking bribe money
 * FINE, SHE DONT NEED YOUR STINKING MONEY, SHE CAN WIN ON HER OWN!
 * THANK YOU JESUS, WE CAN NOW STOP EATING RAMEN NOODLES!
 * Mike Castle now a fugitive
 * American Hater disses Tea Bagging Goddess!
 * O'Donnell sells pies to pay campaign bills
 * Christine O'Donnell good for the economy. The Free Market haz voted
 * Christine O'Donnell thanks her greatest supporter, King Pyrrhus
 * Hippie traitor still on the run
 * O'Donnell's victory brings party unity
 * Liburals already surrendering Delaware!
 * Sarah Palin declares major victory on Delaware
 * Christine O'Donnell receives a check for $1,000,000 from God! Will spend it wisely
 * Emergency News: Witch puts a Curse on Christine!!!
 * Christine 101
 * Satanic Community demands apology from Real Worshiper Christine O' Donnell
 * Christine O'Donnell's New Protegee!
 * Help! Christine being attacked by Tea Haters!
 * Christine finds a new job
 * Christine supports Papa Bear all the way
 * Colbert finds solution to the witch problem
 * Get your hands off Christine, you damn dirty ape!
 * Christine's opponent is a witch!
 * How Christine saved us from Our Chinese Masters
 * Christine O'Donnell wins debate
 * The Misadventures of Christine: Mama finds a new Sugar Daddy
 * Christine Witch Action Figure: Out Now!
 * Speeling is for elitists
 * Christine O'Donnell declares that God told her she will win. O'Donnell already preparing victory party