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Write a one or two sentence caption for these pictures from news stories.

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See Also:
 * Photo Archive
 * Breaking News, where you can fill the internets tubes with the latest in truthy news!

=Attorney General Gonzales Takes Oath Before Testifying Before Senate=


 * "Dear God, Please don't let my stomach start cramping "--Colberican 23:55, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=Attorney General Gonzales Testifies Before Senate=

=World Bank Chief, Paul Wolfowitz=

"I told her it would fit easily but she insisted I didn't go any further, I could even spread my fingers like this." -Kobayashi

"I did NOT have sex with that woman... She wanted to... but..." --Alethic Logic 15:50, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

" My socks don't have any holes in them this time, so stop saying i'm cheap --Colberican 18:06, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

=A Black-footed Ferret=

New species: the hole-bear. --Alethic Logic 02:31, 14 April 2007 (UTC)

=Rare Deer Habitat Threatened=

Top scientists confirm: global warming will leave snow-camouflaged animals "SCA-REWED!" --Careax 01:22, 15 April 2007 (UTC)

=Orangutans Play With Monitor For A Study=

Wikipedia Administrator logs in --Alethic Logic 17:09, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

=Rudy Giuliani and Bernard Kerik=

Rudy Giuliani sneaks up on Bernard Kerik to play a friendly game of "Freeze" --Alethic Logic 17:12, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

Rudy isn't buying into the homosexual agenda, clearly you can see--Colberican 18:06, 13 April 2007 (UTC)

"Please say that's a gun muzzle you have pointing in my lower back Rudy!" --Careax 15:08, 14 April 2007 (UTC)

=Tennis Player Returns Ball=

=Bald Eagle Landing Near River=

Stephen Jr. rejects chicken, prefers sea gull. --Alethic Logic 02:29, 14 April 2007 (UTC)

=Richard Gere Kisses Indian Actress=

Is that a gerbil in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Ace-o-aces 20:23, 16 April 2007 (UTC)

Now who's Breathless? --Alethic Logic 00:58, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

"Must feed... need more liberal pacifist life force!" --02:08, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=Spanish Football League Match=

In this re-enactment, a vaginal sponge tries unsuccessfully to block Formula 401 "baby boomer". --Alethic Logic 14:56, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

=Severe Nor'easter Hits Eastern Seaboard=

Playstation3's enhanced graphics add realism to Mario. --Alethic Logic 00:56, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

=Severe Nor'easter Hits Eastern Seaboard, #2=

Watching The Colbert Report when he should have been watching the Weather Report. --Alethic Logic 00:55, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

Athletic Logic, don't you mean : "Watching the unreliable weather report, when all you need to watch is the Colbert ReportTourskin 16:31, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

=Power Plant in Germany=

See, the President was right: pollution is good for the environment! --Careax 04:58, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

Radiation creates new plant species - coincidently named "nucular power plants". --Alethic Logic 14:58, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

=America's Jolliest Pimp=

Snoop fights back the tears after realizing someone stole his Huggy Bear novelty bong. --Careax 02:05, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=Chinese Celebration=

America's jolliest pimp is stoned - he's the one on the left. --Alethic Logic 04:30, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

Millions die in China. On a lighter note, Chinese monument made of human bones is unvieled today...Tourskin 04:31, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

=A Peacock=

"Yeah, I'm still proud... even though our top-rated show is Deal or No Deal". --OHeL 01:34, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=2007 Half Moon Bay Surfing Competition Cancelled=

Moses always has an edge in local surfing competitions. --Alethic Logic 15:01, 18 April 2007 (UTC)

=Steve Jobs Shows Off New iPhone=

"Beam me up Scottie!" --Careax 02:02, 19 April 2007 (UTC)
 * "iPhones can only be used to call iFriends. Your friends will require substantial hardware upgrades." - The Lake Effect 13:20, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=New Regional Crime Laboratory Opens in L.A.= I forget, are we supposed to prevent regional crime, or make more of it? - The Lake Effect 03:49, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=Iran Holds Annual "Army Day" Parade=

We call this plant "Mahmoud-Audrey-Junior-Jihad". --OHeL 01:49, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

Mahmoud announces his new army of Audrey Juniors, who will feast on the bodies of Western infidels. --Careax 02:01, 19 April 2007 (UTC) (dang you just beat me to it with the Audrey Jr. reference!)

"Like this plant, the Holocaust isn't real." --MC Esteban™ 02:31, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

"The Ugly Duckling of Crocuses" - The Lake Effect 13:13, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

Iranian cruise line unveils new dining room centerpiece. --Alethic Logic 14:28, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad laying wreath at Lilly Langtree memorial--Goldenporker 15:31, 19 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Hmm.. I wonder who got voted off of American Idol --Colberican 23:50, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

=President Bush Speaks At Ohio High School=
 * Usually I stick my head up my own ass. This is a refreshing change of pace. - The Lake Effect 19:14, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

"Your brain is functioning normally, Sir." --OHeL 22:08, 19 April 2007 (UTC)
 * "I always wondered what blood-soaked underwear smelled like!" - The Lake Effect 23:43, 19 April 2007 (UTC)


 * Hey why is this fool sniffing my butt --Colberican 23:50, 19 April 2007 (UTC)


 * The Greatest President Ever interviews for more U.S. attorneys.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 23:54, 19 April 2007 (UTC)