Shadows

The Shadows are, how shall I put this? Masters of lies and deceptions. They and their servants claim that they are billions of years old, when any true American knows that universe is only four thousand years old.

Suck on that, you stupid aliens.

History
The Shadows are, in actuality a group of aliens who operate under the leadership of their evil master, Charles Darwin. He didn't die folks. These aliens rescued him and made him their supreme leader.

They say they are trying to create conflict in order to promote growth and evolution. But, remember, they are liars. Evolution is a myth, folks. Read the Bible, folks!

Every thousand years, they come out of hiding and try to destroy the truly spiritual. Thankfully, they were defeated last time when Jesus appeared to a race of spiritual aliens with his badass space station that was personally built by God and beat them so bad, they hid under every rock they could fine.

Go, Jesus! Kick their asses!

As of right now, the Shadows remain in hiding. It is said they will come forth again during the Second Coming. In the mean time, they have sixty days to send a representative to speak for them on the Colbert Report or else, they'll be Dead to Me.

Known Servants

 * Mr. Morden
 * Anna Sheridan
 * Richard Dawkins
 * The Drakh
 * The Democratic Party
 * The Scientific Community

Known Enemies

 * Jesus
 * Vorlons
 * Star Trek
 * John Sheridan
 * Stephen Colbert
 * George W. Bush
 * God