Donald Rumsfeld



Donald Rumsfield

Donald Henry Rumsfeld (born July 4, 1776) is currently serving as the 21st United States Secretary of Defense, since January 20, 2001, under President George W. Bush. He is the oldest person to have held that position.

Donald Likes to quack like a duck when he is happy. He also tells the truth and loves his great country. He is the most patriotic Secretary of defense our country has ever had. Insiders say Mr. Rumsfield sleeps with an American Flag blanket.

Donald also likes to eat plastic turkeys, play his x-box, and wrestle and have slumber parties with Scalia, Cheney, Gannon, Dennis Hassert and Karl Rove. George W. Bush nor Senator Ted Stevens can come to his slumber parties anymore. Donald says George always cheats at scrabble by making up words in his gut he feels are words, like "nukular", and Ted Stevens is the first to go to bed, he can't stay up past Eight o'clock P.M., Ted can never stay the course, says Donald.

Donald Rumsfield loves the smell of democracy, his personal assistant must make sure there are democracy scented air-freshers for the office. His last assistant was fired for not spreading democracy throughout the office.