Terrorist

Terrorists hate freedom and are enemies of democracy. Their sole purpose in life is to destroy America and Israel, using Actors such as the Jane Fonda. They enjoy teasing Republicans, denying the Bible, and eating babies. All terrorists in the world are Liberals. They are all from Hollywood, and most likely like virgins. Because the terrorists are actors, they "act" like our friends from the Middle East; The ones who let us use their delicious OIL! Posing as Middle Easterners they even 'act' like they have a religion that ISN'T Christianity. LIES! We know the so-called "War on Iraq" is being producing in a soundstage deep inside Alec Baldwin's Hair (see).



Best Place to Fight Them


Over there, so we won't have to fight them here.

Better yet, we should fight them in the past, where they might fight us--before they would have reason to fight us--here, in the present. A current tactic in fighting Terrorists is turning their homebase Hollywood into a Smog factory, therefore the term could be better termed "Chemical Warfare". Don't dwell on the possibility Real Americans might get hurt (seriously, stop it), all Real Americans got the hell out of there YEARS ago.

Terrorist's Tools
The terrorists use anything they can get their sweaty hands on to hurt America and The Baby Jesus.
 * 1) Bombs
 * 2) Car bombs
 * 3) Israelis
 * 4) IEDs
 * 5) Michael Moore
 * 6) Segway scooters
 * 7) Ali Coli, a sleeper cell specializing in bioterrorism
 * 8) Bears
 * 9) Olbermann
 * 10) Women
 * 11) The forgiving nature of the American People
 * 12) C-Span
 * 13) Scarves
 * 14) Pizzlies
 * 15) Recently surfaced black-market Iranian weapons in circulation for at least 8 years
 * 16) Audio messages recorded using cutting edge Windows sound recorder technology
 * 17) Word of mouth
 * 18) The Teacher's Union
 * 19) Volunteer Labor
 * 20) Secret Codes like "Open Sesame"
 * 21) Forked Tongues
 * 22) Multi-Pronged Attacks (Many Headed Snakes)
 * 23) Monies and Facilities provided by Saudi Arabian Sympathizers
 * 24) Black Market Prescription Drugs
 * 25) Al Franken

Known Terrorist Supporters

 * 1) Israelis
 * 2) Radical Liberals
 * 3)  Communists
 * 4) Saddam Hussein
 * 5) Illegal Immigrants
 * 6) Nazis
 * 7) ACLU
 * 8) Anarchists
 * 9) Osama bin Laden
 * 10) Bears

NB: America never supported the IRA and never funded them, the Armalites (pictured above) and other resources were aquired by other means..... in no way were they told to stand down so that the War on Terrorism could get support and in no way did the conflict in Northern Ireland resemble a vicious religious war with an occupying power stuck in the middle. The IRA were never suppiled with weapons and ammunition from LIBYA or found training the "Resistance" in South America (Truthiness in action).

Types of Terrorists

 * Islamic Fasco-Terrorist
 * Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
 * Cyber-Terrorist
 * Terror Terrorist
 * V (the only cool terrorist)
 * Clean Skin Terrorist

NB: The IRA were freedom fighters ...... their past conflict in no way resembles the insurgents in Iraq. (Truthiness in action).

Terrorist Jobs

 * Bomb Maker
 * Bomber
 * Lookout
 * Spy
 * Financier
 * Leader
 * Number 2
 * Fashion Consultant (See: Rachel Ray)
 * Pastry Maker (See: Roses of the Prophet Mohammad)

External Tubes

 * Terrorist Killing Weapons
 * Terrorists joins local High School and becomes class bully
 * terrorists wants love too
 * Innocent man finally freed!
 * Terrorists demand equal rights