Donut

Donuts are torii-shaped glazed pastries enjoyed by police officers and presidents. They have holes in the middle which contribute to the food's effect of reducing the consumer's weight. The media claims that there is an obesity epidemic perpetuated in part by donuts, but this is just more fearmongering from the anti-American secular Jewish Hollywood liberal elite media. There is no obesity problem in America, and donuts are excellent for the diet. What else would that hole in the middle do if not suck up excess fat? Donuts aren't fat enough to be effective wind tunnels. No, they are just tasty.