Alphonse "Al" Qaeda

Alphonse "Al" Qaeda-Streisand (born 29 February 1916) was the mentor of Osama bin Laden and he is believed to be the inspiration for the name Al Qaeda. Most recently, he has been seen campaigning for Saddam Hussein Obama.

Early Years
Alphonse "Al" Qaeda was born the bastard child of an obese brown bear and Barbra Streisand in the hills of Afghanistan. Abandoned by his mother, he grew up different from the rest of his father's children; he apparently did not like raw salmon and/or human flesh.

Mentor to Osama Bin Laden
In the 1970s, Alphonse was introduced to bin Laden by Hillary Clinton. Impressed with Alphonse's lessons on "The Meaning of Jihad", Osama decided to chronicle Alphonse's knowledge on his so-called "Mondays with Al". In 1987, Alphonse had to leave for Amurica to campaign for Dukakis, but soon after, Osama bin Laden used the wisdom he had chronicled to create Alphonse Qaeda Enterprises, later changed to simply Al Qaeda.

Campaign manager


In 2007, Saddam Hussein Obama hired Alphonse Qaeda to be his campaign manager. For this, Obama has been widely panned, but it is reported that Alphonse plans to teach Obama "exactly what I taught Osama".