Canadian Gay Marriage

Those damnable Canadians! These beer-swilling Canadian townies are a detrament to all that is good and rightious on the North AMERICAN Continent. Some would ask why the definer, which is me, would cast such an abysmal gaze in Canada's northerly direction. I would submit to those disruptive subversives, that Canada is the chief conspirator in the dispicable concept of Gay Marriage. My tireless research has established a clear link between Gay Marriage and The Bear Conspiracy. It's really quite simple, when stripped of it's glittered and latexed veneer, that Gay Marriage is nothing but another Extinction Initiative, conceived and actualized by Bear disruptors. Breeding Hips don't grow on trees people! Many would assume that Gay Marriage is merely a romantinc notion which only infects the minds of male homosexuals. Were this naive concept only true. My studies have led me to realize that this is not the only scenario where Gays would consumate a blasphemious union. To illustrate this point, I would remind my dear reader of a little known instructional video entitled "Girls Gone Wild". I, um, ordered the latest installment recently, it was ordered along with my free informational DVD on a brilliant American invention called "The Rascal". I get these shipments often from my connection in Pueblo Colorado, I like to stay hep to the scene. I popped in this critically acclaimed "Girls" DVD, and all I could make out from my view, which of course was obstructed by my left hand, too much information is a bad thing, was non procreational lesbian sex. I was horrified when I saw these young, supple, cosmetically enhanced American beauties, clearly playing into the hands of the bear conspiracy. How will America survive without a healthy supply church women? I say it's time to haul every American schoolgirl into a room, and tell them to get a husband. The only way we can stem this Bear/Lesbian extinctor, is to breed fear into every Amwerican female, before the devil get's hold of their whoremones.