Buddhism

Buddhism is an anti-American colt that was started by a spoiled, bulimic, obese prince named Siddhartha Gautama. As a child he was extremely obese and was constantly made fun of and poked in the stomach. Because he didn’t have the balls to beat them up, he started sticking his fingers down his throat. Eventually his country even got tired of putting up with him so they kicked him out. He was sent into the Black Forest where Ursa rescued this anti-American bulimic from death by giving him stolen picnic baskets. Eventually he stopped being bulimic while in the forest and became incredibly fat. Then he had a child with one of the bears that we would come to know as the Pillsbury dough boy. You can notice the resemblance by the fact that everyone pokes him in the stomach also. Siddhartha Gautama eventually returned to Asia and took over China with an army of bears. After that he was known as that fat Chinese guy. Also note that this is a distant branch of Bearism.