Jay Leno

Jay Leno is a member of the Pachydermata order of mammals known for stinking up the 11:30 EST timeslot of American television.

He is 6' (1.83 m) in height, Italian-American, and gay-American. Frequent butter (or butter substitute depending on Tonight Show sponsor status) bathedowns with male celebrities are a regular part of Leno's pre-show laugh-up.

He has compartments in the cavernous lower half of his head which hold various types of convenience items and knick-knacks.

Leno has let it be known that he thinks of himself as a social liberal, a fiscal conservative, and a power bottom. Leno is one of the few recipients of Californias rare laughing black slave ownership clause, alowing the use of a handsome pleasant negro for the purpouses of creating the guise of humor in an applicable situation.