Michael Moore



Michael Moore (born Satan McHitlerpants) is a fat uber lazy non-1337 commie filmmaker. His fatness is only surpassed by his ability to create commie lies. Michael Moore is actually Latin for one that eats large quantities, a name that was given to him by one of his associates in anti-truthiness, Al Franken. He is known for his attempts to make a Hitler/Stalin robot, the HitStalinator, and is also a member of the rap group Heavy M and the Fat Bears. He likes to cross-dress, eat eagleburgers, steal milk from babies, right out of their mothers, and claims that he invented Peace. He is a known Pedinecropyrobeastiphilliac (He has sex with dead, burning animal babies).

The demon that lives in his belly
The demon that lives in one of Michael Moore's numerous stomachs is the subject of much debate and speculation. What we do know is, in Moore's early life, he was a good, conservative young boy, and then suddenly he became twice the weight and evil...some say as evil as the Baby Satan himself. It is believed that it happened after he had a two-hour conversation with Mark Foley (D-FL). From that day forward, Colbear had a new Sith padawan with a demon in his enormous gut. A very, very, large (and overweight) problem for our glorious Stephen. Luckily, Stephen's dominance was shown at the White house state dinner, where both Hillary Clinton and Michael had to leave the city, lest Colbert's mighty truthiness kill them both. Be on the lookout for this crazy communist (and most likely bear shaped) menace. We may not know the demon's plans, but we do know Stephen will whoop him in the end.

Getting Busted By the U.S. Treasury
While making his new movie, "Sicko that Hates America", he apparently shipped some people down to Cuba to get better healthcare then what they were recieving. (In reality they were acting as "Mules" to bring back Cuban cigars, among other things that Moore likes to inhale regularly.) The Treasury was onto his little game, and he may be facing some major bustage! Go US Government Go! :)

Truths

 * He's getting busted for making shitty movies in Cuba.
 * He makes shitty movies in Hollywood.
 * He has never made any good movies. Except for maybe Canadian Bacon. That was a half decent documentary, and he didn't have to upset Charlton Heston to do it. And you know how likes to fight with old men.
 * He hates America and makes The Baby Jesus cry.
 * He visits his good friend Lawrence Eagleburger to eat Eagleburgers. The bastard.
 * He likes to harvest American children and sell them to Manitoba where they are brainwashed and slowly transformed into Communists.
 * He is living proof that a spiritual power exists, one that allows mountains to move, and earthquakes to happen whenever he takes a step.
 * He is the only American who is beloved in France. Well, him, Jerry Lewis, and Kermit the Frog.
 * He is the Communist Ambassador to the UN, also known as NAMBLA
 * He is president of the Democratic party, also known as NAMBLA
 * He is a wanna-be member of the Film Actors Guild, also known as FAG, also known as NAMBLA
 * Michael Moore loves bears and Democrats, also known as NAMBLA
 * He is the head of SPECTRE (NAMBLA acronym with French words), and is the nemesis of James Bond.
 * He has a motherf@#$ing demon in one of his motherf$%^ing stomachs.
 * He is the president of NAMBLA, also known as UNICEF
 * He weighs more than you do. Guaranteed. Don't argue with me, just believe it.
 * He can only be weighed on Truck Stops.
 * Had to change his pants and get his heart re-replaced after being asked by Stephen to go on his show. He was that stunned.
 * He has his own personal "heart attack stopper" kit. He carries it with him every day, and has to use it at least twice an hour.
 * Stuffs his bra (not that he needs to-see below)
 * Has man-boobs...huge ones.
 * Leni Riefenstahl + fatness = Michael Moore.
 * He is secretly stalking Stephen in order to make a biased documentary about him.
 * Is the inspiration for many end boss battles including that fat baby at the end of Halflife 1

Terrible Movies, and Commie Propaganda
For a complete list of all Mr. Moore's terrible movies and communist propaganda, please click here

Good Movies
What good movies? He came out with good movies? When the hell did he do that?!? I think you're lying about this....as a matter of fact, I KNOW you are. So don't even try to tell me he's come out with a good movie, cause it has never, nor will never, happen. So there.

External Sources

 * Michael Moore's fat Internets site
 * Michael Moore's fattie fat fat Wikipedia entry
 * Michael Moore'sfattie fat fat fat profile according to film factonista IMDB
 * Voter Help for fattie fat fattie fat fat people