John Vincent Coulter

John Vincent Coulter was the father of republican pundit, Ann Coulter. After her father passed, Miss Coulter eulogized him with the tactfulness only a grieving daughter could muster.

Excerpts From Ann's Eulogy For Her Father

 * The longest baby ever born at the Albany, N.Y., hospital, at least as of May 5, 1926, who grew up to be my strapping father, passed away last Friday (January 4, 2008) morning.


 * Father was an ex-FBI agent and a union-buster whose hobbies included rebuilding Volkswagens and shooting squirrels in our backyard


 * wanted to be buried in two cardboard boxes from the A&P rather than pay for a coffin


 * Father hated puffery, pomposity, snobbery, fake friendliness, fake anything. Like Kitty's father in "Anna Karenina," he could detect a substanceless suitor in a heartbeat. (They were probably the same ones who looked nervous when I told them Father was ex-FBI and liked to shoot squirrels in the backyard.)


 * Father didn't care what popular opinion was: There was right and wrong.


 * When Father returned from the war, he used the G.I. Bill to complete college and law school in three years.


 * Father spent most of his nine-year FBI career as a Red hunter in New York City.


 * Father mostly had contempt for Soviet spies.


 * In the early 1980s, as vice president and labor lawyer for Phelps Dodge copper company, Father broke a strike against the company, which culminated in the largest union decertification ever -- at that time and perhaps still.


 * Now Daddy is with Joe McCarthy and Ronald Reagan. I hope they stop laughing about the Reds long enough to talk to God about smiting some liberals for me.