Oscars That Are Destroying America


 * Dr. Colbert hosts Oscar Party
 * No Chex Mix For Old Men
 * Dr. Colbert liked this year's host
 * Ellen DeGeneres rocked the pant suit
 * looked a little hippie
 * acceptance speeches sounded like ads for Rosetta Stone
 * Tilda Swinton comes from the future


 * Traitor Parade
 * Stephen's romantic comedy, "When Harry Waterboarded Sally..." (Meg Ryan has already signed on)