Ali Coli

Ali Coli or al E. Coli is a sleeper cell of terrorists believed to be hiding in America's Heartland somewhere.

They are believed to be a group specializing in biochemical warfare or bioterrorism, or bisexuality. No one is really sure but Condoleeza Rice is still working hard to figure out who they are and what they are up to based on an email she received only recently from a Nigerian Prince.

Suspected Targets
Ali Coli may attack America in many ways, some vulnerable, some not so much.


 * 1) vital spinach crops
 * 2) drinking water
 * 3) hair gel
 * 4) pen bomb launchers

Methods for Infiltrating America
Ali Coli are friends of Al Franken so they are very well versed in American culture and have learned to read American maps. Also, Al Franken briefed Ali Coli on the vulnerabilities in America's Securities based on the liberal media's blabbing everything to the whole freakin' world.

But, because The Greatest President--EVER!'s efficient use of taxpayer's monies on Homeland Security, we know how they have operated in the past to weaken America's confidence in the infrastructure that has been built over many, many generations:


 * infiltrating corporations to allow poor quality products
 * infiltrating lawmakers' offices and "Bar" Associations to make sure won't stop the plot
 * infiltrating lawmakers' offices and "Bar" Associations to weaken safety-nets
 * infiltrating local governments to cut budgets so regulating agencies have no operating budgets
 * infiltrating regulating agencies to keep secret the impending failure of the system
 * infiltrating the media to keep people in the dark about their devious plot