Anti-Claus



The General of the War on Christmas in the Anti-Claus. The Anti-Claus resides at the South Pole and his eyes are not bright, his cheeks are not rosy, and his belly does not jiggle like a bowl full of jelly. The power of the Anti-Claus resides in his hijab, a magical muslim headwrap that has been passed down through many generations of terrorists. With an elite corps of elven bomb-makers called the Elf'Qaeda, the Anti-Claus manufactures thousands of IEDs. On Christmas night, the Anti-Claus mounts his bear-driven sleigh and attempts drop the bombs down the chimneys of Jesus loving children, but each year he has been repelled by George W. Bush and his F-16. The current Anti-Claus if Osama Bin Laden.