Israel

Support Israel at all costs so we can get raptured already!
Israel is a Jewish nation who's current government was recognized in 1948. Since theyre Christ killing scum, their job is to do America's dirty work by killing terrorists so we don't have to. After Israel became a nation they started kicking Arab ass and expanded its borders like Rachael Ray expands her gut after Christmas. Unfortunately, the surrounding Arabs were in the middle of building a backyard deck to the sea, and this new country totally wrecked their ocean view, so they keep attacking it. That, and something about dirty Infidels. We must protect and support Israel at all costs! Those who do not are not American! It should also be noted that all Israeli's love Christianity. They love christianity so much they killed Jesus.

Israel's Army Kicks ASS!!!
In 1948, Israel attacked six Arab nations just because, and they won. Then in 1967, Syrians started shelling Israeli towns from the Golan Heights and the Egyptians blocked Israel's access to the Straits of Tiran and began massing its army in Sinai in response to the occupation of Palestine, but Israel bombed their air-fields before they could invade and kicked ass in six days. Then, in the sixties, Egypt tried to fight Israel, but Israel killed them all, then in the seventies, Egypt and Syria tried to fight again, but Israel took more of their land and killed them all again.

Israel after many wars, still has those dirty Arabs bombing them. Israel decided to bomb the hell out of Lebanon to retrieve two soldiers. Hezbollah, like the pussies they are, tried to fight back. After Israel kicked their ass, they committed suicide and Israel won the conflict.

Notable Achievements

 * 1) Creating streams of much-needed water, though salty, after the 2006 defeat to Lebanon terrorists
 * 2) Taking control of the media, financial, and diamond industry
 * 3) Staging the Holocaust
 * 4) Buying American politicians
 * 5) Being able to convince Americans that they live in a democracy
 * 6) Spreading Jewish control
 * 7) Killing Jesus

Notable Israeli citizens

 * Jews
 * Barbra Streisand
 * Mel Gibson
 * Jesus
 * Jon Stewart
 * Stephen Colbert's "son"
 * Hitler

External Tubes

 * Israel does not commit War Crimes! That's a antisemitic lie!
 * "Who will think of the Gazan Joowish Children?"
 * Israel is not Racist! All of you joowish haters are!
 * Why is the UN so racist?
 * Israel shoots Gaza rescue workers mooslim terrorists
 * IDF loves children as human shields
 * Israel war of liberation!
 * Join the IDF and you get a free t-shirt!
 * Hippie un-american traitor incites violence
 * Israel's God-given right to invade take other people's land  exterminate non-believers self defense!
 * hippie bear-loving liberals overthrow "Loyalty Oath" to protect Israel against non-believers