Milorad Blagojevich

Milorad R. Blowjobbitch is a ever so charming Serbian spy who infiltrated the Illinois state government by posing as governor. His cover was blown when he confessed to making up his middle initial, R., in honor of his father Radisa Blagojevic. (It is a well known fact that Serbs have no middle name)

Rod, as he is better known, is a very generous man, who often donates slabs and slabs of cash to people he likes, such as his fellow Soviets and mooslims.

Corruption Charges
As the governor of Illinois, Rod was given the duty to appoint a replacement for fellow mooslim Barack Obama in the Senate. He then tried to sell the seat for personal profit, an act so corrupt that the Illinois Democratic Party asked him to resign. Let me repeat, the Illinois Democratic party - whose past members have included Richard J. Daley and Dan Rostenkowski - feels Blago is too corrupt for them. This sets a new standard for corruption to which all others must bow.

Link to Barrack Husein Obama
Federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzpatrickgerald said no allegations were being made that Obama was aware of any alleged scheming by Blagojevich. However, Papa Bear and Sean Hannity know that Fitzgeraldpatricks' statements are just part of The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy meant to protect the decider-elect. The Governor worked with Tony Rezko who supported Obama so they are obviously linked. Blogojevich also tried to extort #50,000 from Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago to please Obama because he hates children. Plus, they are both Bears fans.

B-Rod and F-Bombs
AS part of the case against Governor Blagojevich, Prosecutor Fitzgerick released transcripts of some of B-Rod's wiretapped conversations which were filled with epletives. Along with setting the new standard for corruption, the Governor has also set a new standard for swearing while being recorded to which all others must also bow. Notable quotes include but are not limited to:

"It's a 'bleeping' valuable thing. You just don't give it away for 'bleeping' nothing."

"Ive got this thing and its bleeping golden, and, uh, uh, Im just not giving it up for effing nothing."

Told by two other advisers he has to "suck it up" for two years, the FBI says it heard Blagojevich complain he has to give this "motherf***er [the President-elect] his Senator. F*** him. For nothing? F*** him."

Brass Balls
Recently Governor Blagojevich grew a pair of "brass balls" by choosing his new black friend as the senator of Illinois... He may be a Democrat but by God, we salute you for growing a pair!!

Facts

 * Senator Rod Blagojevich's removable hair snaps on to the top of his head, much like a lego man's, or inspector gadget's hair would.
 * He's got this bleeping thing, and it's worth alotta bleeping something.
 * Will not resign until he catches the real Blagojevichers.
 * Barnstormed as a member of The SpitzRods. It was a rival team of maverick, openly heterosexual scandalists.
 * Puts the asses in the bleeping seats.
 * Is Dying to talk to you, about his crazy deals on genuine leather Senate seating!

December, 2008 Charges

 * Notes
 * Full and official criminal complaint (pdf)