Al Franken



Al Franken is the alter ego created by famed self-help guru Stuart Smalley (born May 21, 1951 in New York City. Figures.) Smalley, a known French-born communist, came up with the uber-liberal Franken character as a way of venting his frustration with all things good and American.

Smalley has used the Franken character to limited success as host of the leftist Air America radio program "The O'Franken Factor." Many Americans have fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed while listening to Franken. They have horribly perished in burning wreckage. It is through this and similar means that Smalley hopes to reduce the number of Americans, making the United States ripe for takeover by France. Of course, this plan hinges on the unlikely circumstance that the French will ever be motivated to take over more than a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of wine, a plate of cheese and your girlfriend. It should also be noted that when Smalley wrote for the character on SNL the sketches Franken appeared in were the lowest rated skits ever (even most of the ones with Jimmy Fallon).

Ms. Franken's Cowardly Second Appearance On The Colbert Report
Ms. Franken appeared on "The Colbert Report" for the second time (he likes getting nailed) on November 15, 2006.

If he had the balls to announce he was running for Senate from Minnesota on The Report, he might have received The Colbert Bump. Instead he's too interested in eating turkey.

Franken Trivia

 * Al Franken has penned books taking on Fox News, Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and other icons of American greatness. In other words, he's a jerk.


 * Al Franken thinks he is funny. No one else does. Not even liberals.


 * Al Franken sucked on Saturday Night Live, possibly even more than Tim Meadows.


 * Al Franken loves bears.


 * Al Franken comes from the Socialist Republic of Minnesota the only state not to vote for Ronald Regan in the 1984 election.


 * Al Franken hates America.


 * Al Franken doesn't just hate America, he loathes and despises it.


 * Al Franken is currently serving as vice-president of NAMBLA.


 * Al Franken is not only the vice-president, but also a client.


 * Believes he is personally responsible for Rush Limbaugh's heroic weight loss.