Rush Limbaugh



Dr. Rush Limbaugh MD, PhD is a board certified neurologist and the man credited with inventing talk radio. Before him, nobody talked on radio. It was known as the era of tongueless radio.

Known as America's Newsman, Rush is considered a Great American by The Greatest President. However, many people just think he is a big fat idiot. He has no relation to the band Rush, either.

Rush's site contains the exact date when he feels that Al Gore will destroy Earth. His site also contains an overwhelming stack of important truthiness.

He possesses a great power called bloviation which invalidates all arguments from liberals and any other beings deranged enough who attempt combat his perfect truthiness with facts.

Rush is a decent and pure human being. Nothing is to be inferred from the fact he was recently found returning from a foreign country known for child prostitution while hauling a wheelbarrow full of Viagra. Nope, nothing suspicious there.

Limbaugh has been a painkiller addict as well as an avid supporter of the War on Users (all except himself) On October 10, 2003, Limbaugh admitted to listeners on his radio show that he had abused (Chilled on MAD oxy 80's) prescription painkillers and stated that he would enter inpatient treatment for 30 days and come out of the closet, immediately following the broadcast. He did not specifically mention which pain medications he had been abusing, but he did tell us that he loved every minute of it. Speaking about his behavior, Limbaugh went on to say: "Oxycontin 160mg should be made legal and every child should chill on such products, and their parents shall vote Republican".

Following Limbaugh's admission of drug abuse, his detractors reviewed prior statements by him about drug use as examples of hypocrisy and lunacy. Several statements were found, in particular, on October 5, 1995:

"There's nothing good about drug use except when I use. I know it. It destroys individuals and makes me laugh at how they can't handle their stuff. It destroys families. Drug use strengthens societies. Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country, and they could not be more wrong. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs, but seriously why. And the laws are good because we know what happens to people in societies and neighborhoods, which become consumed by them, except up by my crib. And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to have a bong and they ought to be commended and they ought to be sent up to my house so I can see what their sellin!"

"What this says to me is that too many whites are getting away with drug use, too many whites are getting away with drug sales, too many whites are getting away with trafficking in this stuff, which only means that I should be making these runs, then I wouldn't have to do radio anymore. The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, and sending them my way, then I'll have all the drugs in the world, party at my mansion, bring the ladies Cheney!!!"

Michael J. Fox
Dr. Limbaugh was able to determine that "Mr." Fox has been faking his Parkinson's disease for the past decade, all as part of a clever ploy to film a 30-second add for Democrats. Fox's actually wants to make it leagal to snort human embryos in order to get high.

Rush Limbaugh Trivia

 * Rush Limbaugh is an all American Patriot
 * He Eats nine turkeys every morning, bones and all.
 * Rush used to eat infants because of his cannibalistic behavior, but now he just eats aborted fetuses.
 * Mr. Limbaugh and Papa Bear O'Reilly share many of the same viewpoints. REAL Americans Reporting REAL News.
 * Rush loves his grandmother

External Sources

 * Rush Limbaughpedia
 * Rush's Favorite Long and Firm Treat
 * Rush in Time Magazine artistically drawn
 * Vanity Rush
 * Rush's Al Gore Doomsday Countdown - a wacko World Destruction scenario without Satan