Chicago Cubs

The Chicago Cubs are a Major League Baseball team that plays in the Wrigleyville neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois. The club is in the Central Division of the National League. They are owned by a partnership of the New York Times and North-American grizzly bears.

Franchise History
The Chicago Cubs were founded in 1878 by P.K. Wrigley, owner of the Wrigley Gum company. They enjoyed several seasons of relative success until 1903, when other teams joined the league. The Cubs were close contenders all summer, but when disaster struck in the form of the Great Chicago Fire of 1903, the Cubs temporarily dropped out of the league to tend to its cities recovery.

The Cubs once again enjoyed success, winning the World Series both in 1905 and 1907, before owner P.K. Wrigley pawned them off to the New York Times. In 1908, the New York Times announced a merger with the Bear’s Club of Chicago, not at all like the Lion’s Club in some cities; The Bears Club was a club housing actual bears.

The organization saw dropping attendance, as with the encouragement of co-owner Teddy Ruxpin, any men, women or children in attendance were violently mauled by grizzly bears upon entering the ‘”friendly” confines of Wrigley Field.

The Chicago Cubs failed to capitalize on some early season success and did not make make the playoffs in 1908, and have not made the playoffs since. Cubs fans rationalize this with their superstition of the “Curse of the Bear”, as the Cubs have not been even mildly successful since Chicagoan bears have been in control of the team. It’s God’s way of punishing the evil-doers.

Hall of Famers
No Cubs have been inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Quick Facts
Mark Pryor, son of comedian Richard Pryor, is #1 in the 2006 Chicago Cubs pitching rotation.

Wrigley field has burned down seventeen times since 1908, and has been rebuilt identically each time, much to the dismay of our Lord and Savior.