Boiling Frog

The boiling frog was a tired, old metaphor that liberals dragged out every time they wanted to scare Regular Americans about The Greatest President Ever and his America-saving policies. It was never successful and only made people hungry.

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert officially retired this metaphor by placing a frog he had been boiling on his Shelves of Honor

Background
Originally the "boiling frog" metaphor began in France, where all people eat are those long loaves of bread and boiled frog.

The first American, who unfortunately visited this hellscape, found this was the only thing to eat and was horrified. Thus, giving rise to the metaphor as he watched his rude and smelly French hosts prepare this gastronomical weapon of intestinal destruction.

From that day forward, Americans used the metaphor to describe any food prepared in the French style: any food that is boiled, unidentifiable former zoo animal, covered in a fatty sauce and remotely edible.

Modern Usage
Not fully comfortable with metaphors to begin with, Regular Americans were content with "boiled frog" the way it was. However, starting in the 1960s America began to hippify perfectly cromulent words.

It is believed that the prominence of the smelly, liberal hippie twisted the fragile minds of American children and suddenly all words had new secret meanings.

"Gay" went from meaning "happy" to meaning "homo," "cracker" which used to be a small snack became an insult directed toward respectable Americans and "redneck" went from describing a hard working person to mean a resident of a trailer park.

And so too did "boiling frog" see a change from her original meaning. The hippies began to use it to describe a person who was unable to discern danger, even while it surrounded him.

Retirement As A Metaphor
It was this final bastardization that was at long last retired by Stephen Colbert on his award-winning news program "The Colbert Report." On January 19, 2009 as The Greatest Administration Ever fell into the loving arms of history, Dr. Colbert placed a symbol of that metaphor on his Shelves of Honor.

Americans dutifully followed suit and the boiled frog was no more.