Bearpiter

Bearpiter is a planet in the far reaches of the galaxy which is inhabited by a maniacal race of alien bears. It is the home base of the Bearpiter Interstellar Alliance.

The inhabitants of Bearpiter have one goal: Conquer the Universe and everything in it. However, they do not conquer planets using blitzkreig-like space war assults. They conquer worlds in a more subversive manner.

Bearpiter-ites have the ability to take on the form of other species, including human beings. They send one member of their race to a planet in the hopes that this single Bearpiter-ite will become ruler of that planet, and that ruler will unite the indigenous bear population of that world and ally with the Bearpiter Interstellar Alliance, eventually conquering the Universe when all planets have been taken over in this same manner.

The leader of the Bearpiter Interstellar Alliance is known as the Supreme Ruler of the Bearpiter Interstellar Alliance. Not much is known about him, as his inner cirlce is actually comprised of 52 distinct circles, each one slightly larger than the one inside of it. This makes him harder to get to than even the likes of Dick Cheney.

The Bearpiter Interstellar Alliance did sent a representative of their race to Earth, back in 1932. This representative turned out to be Ted Kennedy, and this led to the discovery of the Bearpiter-ite's only weakness. Breathing the rich, freedom loving air of America causes them to undergo some sort of metamorphisized chain reaction which attempts to disrupt their ability to take on human form. The only way to combat this effect is to continuously consume alcohol. As a result, Kennedy's automobile operating ability as well as his decision making skills were reduced to zero. In this condition, Kennedy could not become Ruler of Earth (or, as the title is more popularly known, President of the United States).

Unable to rule the Earth, the Supreme Ruler of the Bearpiter Interstellar Alliance has called off any plans to change the course of human events on Earth and will keep away from the Earth's Solar System as the interstellar forces of Bearpiter continue to roam the galaxy, conquering everything in its path and eating whatever stars they encounter.