Guitar

The guitar is a musical instrument, commonly found in both acoustic and electrical varieties. Examples of the former radiate a powerful hallucinogenic glamour known to disable balls and encourage individuals to vote for Ralph Nader. The electric guitar is known to induce excessive glitter sweat--a body humour known to influence head seizures and soften hair texture.

The word "guitar" originates from a small village, Gui Ta, in southern China, razed in the 6th century by zombie Vikings. Residents of Gui Ta fashioned crude guitars from bamboo and child hair. The original purpose of the guitar is unknown, for it was the conquering zombie Vikings who made of it an instrument whose melody transformed them into unicorns and American baby girls.