The Colbert Report/Recurring Elements

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The Colbert Report is the most truthy news program on television, everything else pales in comparison. Too bad Stephen can't see color.

Essential Elements that create The Right Attitude
In order to better understand Stephen and by extension, his show, one must study the "Essential Elements" of both Stephen and The Report.
 * Balls
 * Nailing Guests
 * The Heroes
 * Inability to pronounce foreign names
 * Denying Obvious Latent Homosexual Tendencies
 * Being Judgemental: On Notice and Dead to me
 * Staying "Hip and In-Tune" with The Kids
 * Keeping "Plugged-into" The Internets

Important Issues Dr. Colbert Discusses That No One Else Does

 * The Threat of Bears to America
 * The Greatness of Papa Bear
 * Exactly How Good A Sandwich BLTs Really Are
 * The Freakishness of Oregon
 * The Greatness of Soledad O'Brien
 * The War on Christmas
 * The Ongoing, Unresolved Iranian Hostage Crisis

Awards Given By Stephen

 * Stephen Colbert's Big Brass Balls
 * Recognition of His Own Accomplishments ("I Called It!")

FOTR
FOTR stands for: "Friends of The Report".
 * Stephen Jr.
 * Bobby
 * Wilford Brimley
 * Charlene
 * Filliam H. Muffman
 * Alan
 * Tad, the Building Manager
 * Jimmy
 * Killer
 * The Prescott Group
 * Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation

Enemies of Freedom, The Report and America

 * Russ Lieber

The Threat Down
For example, the Threat Down on July 24th, 2006 was:
 * 1) Kix
 * 2) M. Night Shyamalan
 * 3) LaPorte, Indiana
 * 4) Other People's Religions in Schools
 * 5) Camp Quest

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger
"Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger" focuses on Colbert's praising or lambasting a number of recent events in the news. Praise comes in the form of Colbert giving topics a "Tip of the Hat" whereas disapproval earns a "Wag of the Finger." It is common for him to give a "Tip of the Hat" to someone and immediately give them a "Wag of the Finger" for a different reason (or vice versa). This segment may be partially inspired by the "Cheers and Jeers" segment in TV Guide magazine, or Roger Ebert's "Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down" rating mechanism, which also includes a "wagging finger of shame".

Freedom Trivia
Often, after a commercial break, a message is shown to viewers. The names are often portmanteaus: Sometimes it's a "Fract" (Freedom Fact), while other times it might be a drinking game, a "Friddle" (Freedom Riddle), a "Franagram" (Freedom Anagram), a "Frnap" (Freedom Snap), etc. These messages have not been shown for most of the show's second season and may have been discontinued.

"Movies that are Destroying America"
Stephen Colbert does a movie review of trailers he's seen as he emphasizes, "In and out in 3 minutes, that's my motto." and "[Trailers] break it down into bite size pieces and they give you the best part of the movie anyway.". Many times he admits that he has not actually seen the movie that he is reviewing; this often leads to a humorous and mistaken impression of the movie because he bases his understanding of it only on the content of the trailer. He also says he does it for American values. The show has done an "Awards Edition," a "Christmas Edition," and a "Summer Blockbuster Edition." A common joke is for him to protest a movie most conservatives would find harmless, then praise a movie they are protesting.
 * The Family Stone — "You people in Hollywood may think it's okay to shirk your responsibilities, trip the light fantastic and chill-out man, but real Americans work for a living."
 * The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe — "This movie has been labeled a Christianity allegory because its hero, Aslan the lion, sacrifices his life on a hill top to save the world and through the power of love, rises from the grave to defeat evil. Sorry — doesn't work as an allegory. Last time I checked, Jesus wasn't a lion."
 * Walk the Line — "Celebrates an outlaw who had the gall to sympathize with convicted felons."
 * Pride & Prejudice — "What more can you say about a movie with one of the seven deadly sins right there on the title?"
 * The Squid and the Whale — "Be warned, America; this is no sea faring adventure. It's the worst family film since Blue Velvet, a terrible sequel to National Velvet."
 * Match Point — "I went into this trailer expecting to catch a glimpse of Woody, or at least the young actor meant to stand in for him, but it was a waste of my three minutes."
 * An Inconvenient Truth — "Starring Al Gore as- surprise!- a fear monger."
 * Hoot — "This time the Hollywood elite celebrates a bunch of teenagers fighting to save the nests of some burrowing owls. Burrowing owls? Know what that is? That's a rat with wings."
 * Over the Hedge — "It's just a thinly veiled instructional video for immigrants trying to sneak into our country."
 * Mission Impossible III (referred to as "Miiih", as the poster says M:I:III) — "It's a movie about spies and what they do, but now is not the time to reveal our nation's most vital intelligence gathering methods, like falling out of skyscrapers, screaming at Philip Seymour Hoffman, and staring in a very manly fashion."
 * A Scanner Darkly - (referring to the "exploding head" scene in the similarly-titled Scanners) "Who would put up $10 to see Keanu Reeves' head explode? Come to think of it, I would."
 * Barnyard - "A children's film about transsexual barnyard animals? I haven't seen a website more disgusting, and trust me, I've looked!"

Movies that Colbert Recommended

 * Good Night, and Good Luck. — "Lionizes an American hero: Senator Joe McCarthy."
 * Brokeback Mountain - "A story that promotes good old-fashioned values — I'm talking about Brokeback Mountain."
 * TransAmerica - "First, it has America in the title and that's a plus... I assume the 'trans' part has something to do with the Trans-Am."
 * Akeelah and the Bee - "This is one of the best food inspired movies since the Burger King film The Great Fry Adventure."
 * Strangers with Candy - "A film fun for the whole family. Even grandma! She'll have more fun if she doesn't use the senior discount! Pay full price!"
 * Colbert's recommendation of the film Strangers with Candy and suggestion that seniors pay full price is actually an in-joke referring to the fact that he wrote and co-starred in both the film and the Strangers with Candy TV show.

The Da Colbert Code
Periodically, Colbert will use his own "code" to determine the outcome of future events. The segment ties-in to Dan Brown's novel The Da Vinci Code with the similar name and use of coded messages, as well as the use of the Mona Lisa with Colbert's face edited in as a graphic. The Mona Lisa is used as part of the cover for most copies of The Da Vinci Code.

In order to get the answer to a question, Colbert starts off with a name of something and builds on that name until he gets the answer, in the form of an elaborate word association game. For example: To find out who killed John F. Kennedy: "John Fitzgerald Kennedy...F. Scott Fitzgerald...The Great Gatsby...The Great Escape...Escape From New York...The Big Apple...Apples and Oranges...A Clockwork Orange...Stanley Kubrick...directed Barry Lyndon...Lyndon Johnson".

On the week before the 2006 Academy Awards, Colbert used The Da Colbert Code to determine the winners of the Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Picture categories. Colbert correctly predicted all 5 categories, even dodging a near-miss on Best Picture. Although the traditional use of the code seemed to point to Brokeback Mountain, Colbert failed to make the final, humorously obvious connections, and instead simply chose eventual winner Crash. Colbert celebrated on the March 6th, 2006 episode with an "I Called It!" celebration and reminded the viewers that "this is the awesome and terrifying power of The Da Colbert Code".

Others
Other recurring segments in the broadcast include "Gravitas-off", "Stephen Settles the Debate", "So Awful We Can't Bear to Show You", "Around The World In 11.6 Seconds", "Bring 'Em Back Or Leave 'Em Dead", "Un-American News", "Campaign Against Humbuggery", "Stephen Colbert's Balls &mdash; For Kidz", "This week in history", "Who's Attacking Me Now?", "Was it Really That Bad?", "The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard", "Stephen's Sound Advice", "Who's Honoring Me Now?", "Who's Not Honoring Me Now?", "Easter Under Attack.", "The Inbox", "On the phone", "Better Know a Founding Father", "Better Know a Protectorate", "Exclusive Fake Interviews", and "Stephen Makes it Simple". Many of the segments are introduced with a big, dramatic graphic and a music sting, which mimic newsmagazine shows like Dateline NBC. Sometimes Colbert will draw the "graphic" on a piece of paper when he finds out during the show that a graphic hasn't been made, such as for the "Campaign Against Humbuggery", and "The War on the War on Terror." If the segment is repeated it will feature the graphic Stephen suggested.

'On Notice' and 'Dead to Me'
"On Notice" and "Dead to Me", originally phrases Colbert used as a warning or condemnation for something he disagreed with, were later made into giant-sized lists that contain a comically bizarre assortment of people and things that are supposedly displeasing to Colbert. When the "On Notice" list is full, Colbert is forced to either remove an item or move one to the "Dead to Me" list to make space. The "Dead to Me" list is shorter and is reserved for the most hated nemeses of Colbert. There are a few random and unexplained entries, such as "Owls", to again demonstrate the absurdity of Colbert's fixations.

'On Notice'
Since the inception of the "On Notice" board, the following items have remained: "Grizzly Bears", "Barbra Streisand", (What's Left of the) "British Empire", "Toronto Raptors", and "Lutherans". "James Brady" was added to the board on October 17, 2005, the Series Premire. Colbert has mentioned that all of Canada (except for Nunavut) was previously "On Notice" sometime before the first episode aired.

During the July 12, 2006, episode of The Report, Colbert explained the procedure that people placed "On Notice" should follow. He stated that a person must answer their "summons" within 60 days, or risk being placed on the "Dead to Me" board for eternity.

"E Street Band" had been "On Notice", but guitarist Steven Van Zandt subsequently was interviewed by Colbert, given a gift basket to commemorate the occasion, and replaced by Michael Adams on January 9, 2006. The "Journal of Paleolimnology" and "Todd Rundgren" were placed "On Notice" on April 17, 2006. Also during the April 17th episode of The Report, "The Sea" had been added to the "On Notice" board while Ed Colbert was inconspicuous in his absence. It can only be presumed that "The Sea" has done something to incur Colbert's wrath since January 9, 2006.

"The Sea" was removed on June 12, 2006, to make room for "Mort Zuckerman." During the July 12th episode, Mort Zuckerman was the guest and apologized to Colbert for the slight which originally got him "On Notice." He was officially removed from being "On Notice" during the last segment of the show. Colbert warned the "enemies of freedom" that there is a space open on the board for them.

In addition, Colbert has put a number of things on notice over the course of the show that have not been formally acknowledged as having been removed, but nonetheless do not appear on either of his boards, including candy apples, Holiday Haters, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and The Washington Post.

'Dead to Me'
Since the inception of the "Dead to Me" board, the following items have remained: "bowtie pasta", "Owls", "CNN en Español", "Screw-cap wines", the "Cast of Friends" and "men with beards."

"New York City intellectuals" was moved from being "On Notice" and replaced by "pant cuffs". Associated Press reporter Heather Clark was placed on the list on January 9, 2006. Additionally, Hamas had been on the list, but was presumably removed on January 24, 2006, after Colbert's realization that the bears featured in a Hamas-sponsored television program were fake.

On March 1, 2006, Colbert introduced the category of "Never Existed to Me" for things that he finds extraordinarily displeasing. Indeed, the only entry so far California's 50th congressional district has caused an uncharacteristic outpouring of emotion whenever it is brought up. On March 5th, the District was downgraded to "Dead to Me."

Colbert has also mentioned during a brief dialogue with Jon Stewart at the end of The Daily Show that people who watch The Daily Show and don't stay for The Colbert Report are dead to him as well, but as this was mentioned as part of a specific joke, they have not been added to the official list. Colbert once offered Jon Stewart the chance to add two things to his "Dead to Me" list during the conversation between shows. When Stewart declined, Colbert informed Stewart that he was "Wounded to Me" and "Fading Fast."

Colbert's baby eagle: Stephen Jr.
The San Francisco Zoo honored Colbert by naming a baby eagle after him. He even picked the egg. Since then, Colbert has frequently shown clips of the baby eagle and refers to it as "a 'steagle', if you will". Colbert even apparently ate remains of the eagle's egg in response to Tom Cruise joking about eating his child's placenta, claiming Cruise often overshadows him. Colbert said that Cruise took up Stanley Kubrick's time when Colbert was trying to show him (Kubrick) his script for "Clockwork Red, White, and Blue" (a parody of A Clockwork Orange, directed by Kubrick). Bobby however alerted Colbert that Cruise was joking about eating his girl's placenta, after which Colbert said he was a more caring parent than Cruise. On one occasion, Colbert mistook footage of the zoo's banding of Stephen Jr. as torture, and dispatched a crack team (consisting of Bobby, Killer, and Ric Ocasek) to rescue him.

Colbert's bookshelf
At the end of some episodes, Colbert places an object on one of his bookshelves to emphasize a point he's about to make. Often, he'll acknowledge the audience with surprise, as if he did not realize they were watching, often with a "Oh, Hello. Didn't see you there..." or something similar. Items Colbert has placed on his bookshelf include:

Colbert also has a bookshelf with a "fiction" and "non-fiction" section. Watership Down and the Bible are in the "non-fiction" section, while The Origin of Species and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female are in the "fiction" section. A copy of Elie Wiesel's Night is duct-taped between the fiction and non-fiction sections.

Stephen Colbert's Big Brass Balls
This award first appeared on the February 9, 2006 Episode of The Colbert Report. The priapic trophy consists of two swinging golden balls, somewhat similar to a Newton's cradle.

Recipients of the Award include:

Elected as the new House Majority Leader to reform the House Republicans, who were "feeling the heat from lobbyist scandals", CNN revealed that Boehner rents an apartment from a lobbyist whose clients allegedly had an interest in legislation that he sponsored. Colbert supposes that as where Boehner lives is public record he therefore knew someone would find out, arriving at the conclusion that he didn't care, even though he ran on a platform of lobbying reform. This must, Colbert summarizes, have taken "muchos huevos grandes".
 * John Boehner

A cat scared a bear up a tree. On June 13th, 2006, Colbert gave that cat the award.
 * Cat

Colbert Report Special Reports
On occasion, Colbert will devote the entire show to a specific theme, referred to as a "Colbert Report Special Report" (with the 't' in the second 'report' enunciated in contrast to the silent pronunciation of the 't' in the first). All normal recurring segments including The Wørd are influenced by the theme, as is the interview. Before the interview, Colbert adds some flourish to his walk from his desk to the interview area that relates to the theme. There have been seven Special Reports so far:

Fictional biography of Stephen Colbert
The developing character of Stephen Colbert, both in terms of personality and history, plays a key role in several episodes of The Colbert Report. Colbert continually develops a fictitious backstory for himself, typically revealed piecemeal in short monologues accompanying a part of his show, which often gives precedent to his opinions on news today. So far, it has been revealed that his original name was "Stephanie", he stopped playing Dungeons & Dragons in 1984 after not only his parents sent him to an exorcism day-camp, but he also got a girlfriend.

It was presumably this girlfriend, Jenny, that gave him a scare when she missed her period after they had sex for the first time. Colbert was working in home construction at the time and his work in tearing out walls was given an extra impetus by the anger he felt at the realization he'd have to abandon college, marry her, and work the rest of his life in that job. When she told him shortly afterwards that it was a mistake, he dumped her, since he didn't like "being trapped." Colbert's former occupation as a construction worker may be a parody of conservative pundit Sean Hannity who was a construction worker prior to becoming a political commentator.

Colbert took a summer off to backpack around Europe to "find himself" only to have his stuff stolen on the last day and his friend abandon him. Colbert advises college students to not go to Europe because he "didn't get any action all summer."

Colbert was a weekend newsanchor on a small South Carolina television station in Patterson Springs as early as 1989 (when he first started denouncing monorails). Colbert also lived for a time in Chicago, Illinois, during the period when Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls were winning championships. In 1997, Colbert became a correspondent on The Daily Show, where his far-reaching expertise was evident from his many appearances as a correspondent and analyst on various topics. (For more, see List of The Daily Show correspondent titles.) Before he became a newsman, he was a carnival roustabout, worked in a marina as part of a corps of dedicated workers, and also served in a salon called "Hair Force"; before that, he was the lead in a band, Stephen and the Colberts.

According to various editions of "The Wørd," Colbert often thinks about being gay and loves goat cheese.

There is considerable overlap between his fictional biography and his actual biography, such as being the youngest of eleven children, growing up in South Carolina, living for a time in Chicago, and having been a Dungeons & Dragons player, although much of his fictional biography is obviously fantastical.

Fictional family
Stephen Colbert grew up with seven brothers, and as the youngest of eleven children. One of his brothers, Ed, is a lawyer who has advised the International Olympic Committee. Ed has recently been removed from the "On Notice" board. According to the March 9, 2006 episode, his sister Mary once asked his father what sex is, and his father replied that "it is something not very nice that happens between married people." On the same episode, he rapidly named all eleven siblings in his family: "Jimmy, Eddie, Mary, Billy, Margo, Tommy, Jay, Lulu, Paul, Peter, and Stephen." In the July 31, 2006 installment of "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he asserts that the new Monopoly board game will "make [sure] certain big sisters don't make up their own rules. I'm talking to you, Elizabeth Louise Colbert!" He later indicates that this sister is the aforementioned "Lulu."

Colbert has three children with his wife Evelyn (named in the July 12, 2006 episode), whom he met when she bid $600 for a date with him at a charity bachelor auction in Richmond, Virginia. In the July 25, 2006 installment of a "Formidable Opponent" segment regarding stem cell research, Colbert makes reference to his fifteen children, "Little Mary, and Stephens 1 through 14."

In the July 27th 2004 episode of The Daily Show, Colbert mentioned that his father was a "turd miner" and his grandfather was a "goat-ball licker."

As of April 17, 2006, Colbert is the proud 'father' of Stephen Jr., a bald eagle named after him at the San Francisco Zoo.

Featured Literary Works and Other Bits of Popular Culture


Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure Bill O'Reilly's novel, Those Who Trespass. He has read passages of the book several times on the show, which are filled with self-praising writing styles, and rife with violence, action, and sex. On the March 15 2006 edition of The Daily Show, he offered the position of Lady Nocturne in a film adaptation of the book to Natalie Portman.

On the April 25th, 2006 episode, Colbert introduced his new book: Top 50 States That Are Destroying America. This was introduced during his Threatdown of the week as part of the #4 threat of Illinois. So far, not too much is known about this book except that Illinois is tied with Delaware for #32 on the list.

Other books written by Dr. Colbert include:
 * How Native Americans Have Maybe Been Screwed by this Country
 * Don't Buy This Book if You Don't Have the Balls
 * Silent Night: Reassessing the Sociological Imprint of the Tiananmen Square Massacre
 * Don't Buy This Book if You Don't Have the Balls &mdash; For Kids (a parody of Bill O'Reilly's following up his book, The O'Reilly Factor, with The O'Reilly Factor for Kids.)
 * Colbert Lib
 * The Colbert Report : Emergency Evacuation Manual (from the segment with Paul Dinello as Tad, the building manager)
 * Yet Another Pointless JFK Biography.

Multi-media products from Dr. Colbert: Stephen Colbert's Hiphopketball: A Jazzebration January clip

Stephen Colbert's Hiphopketball 2: Rejazzebration Remix 06.

The clip features Colbert, dressed in (different) basketball garb, holding a saxophone and dribbling a ball, and Abdul-Jabbar playing a string bass. They alternate rapping lines of the song, which reads: "Colbert is back, but he's not alone / Got Abdul-Jabbar and my saxophone / Giving props to Miles and John Coltrane/ Kareem appeared in the movie Airplane / Bebop / And Hip-hop / Some layups / A dunk / And now we will jam like Thelonious Monk". At this point, Abdul-Jabbar plays the bass and Colbert blows into his saxophone while fingering randomly. At the end of the video, Colbert and Abdul-Jabbar high-five in celebration.

Stephen and the Colberts for a period of time in the 1980s. They mostly did love songs and power ballads.

On the February 9, 2006 episode of the Report, Colbert unveiled his music video as a special Valentine's Day treat. The song was dedicated to his ex-lover Charlene and apparently does not violate the restraining order she has against him. The title of the song is "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)" and was recorded for the album The Charlene Collection, Volume 1. The video was directed by Jeff Cooperman.

The Lyrics are as follows: Everytime I see you I think of you / Everytime I'm near you I think of you / I think of you when I dream of you / When I'm taking pictures of you / I think of you when I'm in a blimp looking down from up above you / You know I'm missing you / My mind is kissing you / I'm right behind you now Charlene / Waiting watching oh so close / I'm right behind you now Charlene / You'll never be alone again / No

Official Colbert Products


Colbert has also featured a number of fictional Colbert Report products on various episodes, including towels, shirts, and even a cruise. This is a takeoff of the strong merchandising element of shows like The O'Reilly Factor.

Of these, the most commonly recurring product has been "Stephen Colbert's Scorn", or just "Scorn", a "fragrance for men" which is illustrated by an image of Colbert with his back turned. The cap of the cologne bottle is also shaped like testicles, a reference to Colbert's on-air fixation with "balls". The scent of the cologne itself is unclear, though Colbert's comments indicate that it is unpleasant, and it appears as a translucent green liquid. "Scorn" debuted on December 14, 2005 as an alternative for coal to stuff into the Christmas stockings of "Blame America Firsters"; "I was going to give them a lump of coal, but why should they get free heating fuel when it's their failed environmental policies that are responsible for the high oil prices in the first place?" Colbert asked.

Although Colbert initially described "Scorn" as having "truly a terrible scent" and introduced the cologne as an item to give to people one hates, "Scorn" was later advertised more generally, and has been portrayed in a more positive light to more fully satirize pundit advertisements. "Scorn"'s bottle indicates that it is "for heroes", per his description of Americans who watch the Report; whether this means that "Scorn" is meant to be worn by "the heroes", or purchased by them and subsequently given to people they hate (per its initial appearance), is unclear. Colbert asked Mark Cuban how to go global with "Scorn" on December 16, 2005, and Colbert included "Scorn" in his gift baskets to the E Street Band on January 10, 2006.

"Scorn" has also appeared in one episode as the name of a fictional Colbert clothing line. On January 24, 2006, Colbert catwalked in front of a poster for Scorn, with the tagline "The Right Clothing For The Right Man", while sashaying towards his guest, Robin Givhan, fashion editor for The Washington Post.

Colbert's employees are paid in company scrip called "ColBucks" that are only accepted at the company store. Among the items available for purchase are "Colbert Condon'ts", which carry the slogan, "These condoms don't run".

In the spring of 2006, Colbert also announced that he would begin selling his sperm online after reading that a sperm donor had decided to pull his "self made" product from the market. The anonymous man's identity was stolen by Colbert, who announced that his specimen would be called Formula 401. A few weeks later, Colbert discussed how the huge demand for the product had tapped him, and Formula 401 would become a seasonal product. A recent supply, for Russians only, was offered on May 11, 2006 in response to Vladimir Putin's calling for higher fertility rates in Russia. He has subsequently offered a special edition of the product, Formula 402, which is guaranteed to have been produced under extreme circumstances, such as running while holding scissors. He also said some of the specimens would not be his sperm, ala Russian Roulette.

On May 8, 2006, Colbert revealed a new product, the "Colbert Condon'ts," in an effort to introduce an alternative to condoms. The "Condon'ts" come in small packages like condoms, but are actually just hand wipes with "old person" smell on them. A user would put them up to his nose in order to curb his libido. The backside of the package contains a picture of the user's mother.



On June 27, 2006, Colbert gave the opening speech to the inaugural MI6 Conference on game marketing. During the speech he unveiled his latest project, a video game called "Stephen Colbert's World of ColbertCraft", a play on World of Warcraft. Colbert went on to state that his new title would sell better than his previous title "Stephen Colbert's Escape From Skateboard Mountain" though for cost reasons, both games take place on Skateboard Mountain. The gameplay consists of giving political speeches as Colbert or Bill O'Reilly, it was also unveiled that Tony Hawk would be an unlockable character upon completion of the game. Colbert claimed the game would be playable on Xbox Live (though he did not say if it was on Xbox or Xbox 360), where players could discuss Colbert's ideas. It was also mentioned that on Nintendo Wii players could use the controller to wag Colbert's Finger presumably in some form of "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger" mini-game. There was no mention of a release on Playstation 3 or PC. The game is currently in a very rough state as when you go to save the game it irreparably damages most plasma televisions. Colbert however, is confident that the marketers at the MI6 Conference will come up with something. Both titles mentioned carry the ESRB rating of "T for Teen".

On the July 11, 2006 episode "Tony Hawk" (Special Report: What the Hell is Wrong With Our Kids?) Stephen Colbert 'officially' announced the above video games. It was also announced that Super Mario would be a playable character upon completion. He went on to describe Mario as a surprising fiscal conservative. The game was also confirmed for release on Xbox.

Opening credits
The opening credits always features several words to describe Colbert. The most prominent of these words will change occasionally. Here is a list of the words that have been included:
 * "Grippy" (October 17, 2005 - February 9, 2006)
 * "Megamerican" (February 21 – April 6, 2006)
 * "Lincolnish" (April 17 – Present)