Dave Brooks

David H. Brooks is a Real American Hero

Bulletproof Vest
Brooks' Vests are the best in the market, their only fatal flaw is that they cannot stop bullets, but other than that they are still awesome!

Patriotism
He has a $100,000 American-flag belt buckle encrusted with rubies, sapphires and diamonds that makes his crotch looks ultra patriotic!

Personal Life
Dave Brooks is a great family man and boss. Can anyone else say that? He provided free university textbooks for his daughter guaranteeing the best education money can buy and a $10 million dollar bat mitzvah, hiring 50 Cent, Tom Petty and Aerosmith to perform (this joo knows how to partee!) guaranteeing she would be the most popular girl in College. He provided pornographic videos for his son so he could educate him about sex (none of that public school sex education that is nasty and revolting). He gave his beautiful wife a great plastic surgery (and she was going to get some boob job too if it wasnt for that meddling government). A burial plot for his monther so she could meet Jesus in style, and prostitutes for his employees so they can be motivated to do their jobs. All of this at the expense of the companies dime! What a great man!

Erasing Memory Pill
Still under research...

External Tubes

 * Communist Administration stops Real American Hero
 * Lies and slanders
 * Dave Brooks and his patriotic crotch
 * Joo fails to save money