User:InsanityClause

Born in the mists of time, somewhere on the East Coast, Ukelele Phil soon gained a reputation as the most creative, most influential, and most loved picker and crooner on the circuit.

By the time he was two, he had four Grammy Awards, a fleet of Rolls Royces, and had been divorced eight times.

After rehab following a prosecution for malicious panhandling, he settled down to a solitary life, writing and singing for a few close friends.

Then he found Youtube. Abandoning his longtime supporters, Phil began to think only of his 'new friends', even though he'd never actually met any of them. He'd play any old dross, just to get an admiring email from some starry-eyed teenager in Glasgow.

It was reported that he'd even laid down some recycled Heart songs, though this was never substantiated.

Ukelele Phil was last heard of in the Far East, trying to win the favour of some 'new, new friends' that he met in bars and taverns.