User:Turdsandwhich

Brandon Tucker is a Viking warrior, except he doesn't have a beard nor pillage Mexican migrant camps. Instead he just listens to Mastodon and plays air guitar. He fled California at age fourteen because he feared catching the gay. So he moved to Alabama and is attempting to start a Lynrd Skynrd cover band in a attempt to regain the favor of the pagan gods. That never worked becuase his right hand had gay block installed in it, thus not allowing him to play any Lynrd Skynrd songs. This was not a big deal because every one knows that Lynrd Skynrd stole everything from Winger and Dream Theater, two bands full of communist wuss bags. He plans on running for President in '08 with his platform consisting of the demand for the repopulating of Megalodons to gaurd America's waters from illegal Mexicans, Cubans, and Ewoks. He also promises, if elected, to put packets of mustard gas in the next Slipknot CD, to help keep the gay and gothic community at bay.