Unitarian

The Unitarian "Church", often confused with the Unity Church or the Unification Church, is a secretive heretical cult dedicated to destroying America. They do this by making The Baby Jesus cry by telling him God is not his real Father and he was adopted, and by indulging in various extremist liberal activities such as Unitarian Jihad and labyrinth workshop.

Unitarianism Activities
Little is known about the Unitarian faith outside its membership. And even less is known about the faith among its membership. It's head-spinning, projectile vomiting members are usually too busy playing with ouija boards and waiting for the arrival of their own Tom Cruise to talk to outsiders.

Fortunately, various inquisitions have provided for a better understanding of this motley bunch of blasphemers.

What Unitarians Like

 * Using Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s drawing of an asshole, aka an asterisk *, to symbolize the "inclusiveness" of the U*U religious community. See: http://www.cuc.ca/whos_who/ed/MarySR_Dec03.pdf
 * Themselves i.e. other Unitarian*Universalists aka U*Us
 * Sacrificing virgins to the gays
 * Going on "educational" trips to Amsterdam
 * Unitarian Jihad
 * Moral Relativism
 * Kwanzaa
 * Hubris
 * Fawning over Democrats
 * Bears
 * Marrying the gays
 * Coffee
 * Committees
 * Cognitive Dissonance
 * Blasphemy
 * Barack Obama
 * Asterisks

What Unitarians Hate

 * The Holy Trinity
 * Republicans
 * The Baby Jesus
 * Objective Truth
 * Revelation of God
 * The Emerson Avenger

Reasons To Avoid Unitarians

 * Agnostics are atheists without balls. Unitarians are agnostics without balls.
 * Unitarians are part of a vast left-wing conspiracy that is tempting America with gay marriage.
 * Unitarians are Democrats.
 * They smell funny and talk funny.
 * The first Union casualty of the Civil War was a Unitarian. His blatant act of cutting and running was a slap in the face to the great Commander-in-Chief, Abraham Lincoln, and a bad example set for an unwitting 470,000 others.
 * Unitarians are vampires.