America with Balls Party

Stephen is running on a campaing which emphasizes 8 proposals which he calls the "The Big Eight." They are:

1. No to bears. 2. No to people that do not watch the Colbert Report. 3. No to religions that do not accept the truth, Jesus Christ the true savior. 4. No to "facts' without guts.  5. No to Homosexuals outside the godless state of Massachusets.   6. No to people that do not go to the most truthy show on America, The Colbert Report, after being put on notice.   7. No to people that Papa bear and Geraldo Rivera do not like.   8. No to war.

The slogan for his campaing, "Balls for America," came to him on a dream where God told him that America needed him. His vast political experience makes him one of the top runners for the President Election of 2008. Each of Stephen's proposals are issues that have deeply affected him. For example, proposal 8. On several interviews Stephen has shared his experiences as a former POW on a war so horrible that history decided not to record it. Having been captured without any way of communicating with his beloved America, Stephen fell into a deep state of depression. Luckily for him, a fellow American by the code name 'Charlene' saved him, only to dissapear after having a short romantic relationship with Stephen. To this day Stephen cannot forget the love and affection he held for 'Charlene.'

Stephen will start campaigning "as soon as the other guys have a chance to beat me." His confidence in himself is remarkable and is said to be one of his greatest assets, along with his expertise on a wide range of subjects. His own pathented method for seeing the future, "The Da Colbert Code," has allowed him to predict his seat in the White House.