Wyoming

Does Wyoming actually exist?

Wyoming doesn't really exist. Dick Cheney claims to hail from this state, but all real Americans know this is just a clever ruse to keep the godless liberals confused.

Gay Cowboys
The 2005 film Brokeback Mountain takes place in Wyoming, (but was not filmed in Wyoming because Canada was much more Wyoming-esque than Wyoming) causing anyone outside of the United States to think of only homosexual intercourse when someone mentions "Wyoming."

Nickname
Wyoming is known in some circles as "the Equality State", so named because its short sides are equal in proportion to one another, and its long sides are also equal in proportion to one another. In Wyoming, everyone is equal: equally a square. And don't argue that Wyoming is actually a "rectangle". It has four sides and a package could come inside of it if it were three-dimensional. It's a square.

Discovery
Wyoming has not been discovered yet. It is recommended that you do not attempt to find Wyoming.

Achieving Statehood
Wyoming and Colorado were born as conjoined twins, connected at the Cheyenne. After a grueling three-day operation, surgeons separated the two states so they each could run free and separate. To this day, Colorado is still jealous of its more rugged twin, as it is known in Wyoming that in the Spring not only do the trees turn green, so do the license plates.

Gay-Cowboy Wyoming Landmarks

 * Wyoming is home to Devil's Tower, the nations first National Monument and made famous because Richard Dreyfus made a replica out of mashed potatoes in some alien movie in the 70's, which looks like a huge square penis, which may or may not be gay.

Non-Gay-Cowboy Wyoming Landmarks

 * Wyoming is home to the Tetons, the most beautiful mountains in the lower 48. They are named the Tetons (French for titties), because they look like nice perky boobs, and that is definitely not gay.

Famous Gay-Cowboy Wyomingers

 * Dick Cheney, anyone named Dick is gay, it is a fact.
 * Annie Proulx - makes books that lead to movies about gay cowboys, and that's pretty gay.

Famous Non-Gay-Cowboy Wyomingers

 * Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, need I say more?
 * Chris LeDoux, he would kick the crap out of John Denver.