The Internets


 * "o rly?"
 * &mdash;Glenn Beck


 * "ya rly!"
 * &mdash;Nancy Grace


 * "no wai!!!!11 STFU n00b!"
 * &mdash;Glenn Beck



The Internets, which can also be called internet or teh intarnet is a series of tubes which run underground transferring data and Electronic-Mail all across the United States, and Canada. But not Europe. There are no internets in Europe.

Origins
The Internets were invented in the early 1980s by then Senator Al Gore. His purpose for creating it is unknown, though global warming is suspected to be involved somehow. In the late 1990s, Gore performed a vasectomy on the Internets to keep anyone from making more of them, so that he could reap all the riches and use them to breed owls.

Nature of the Internets

 * "The Internets (sic) is not just something you dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's, it's a series of tubes!"
 * &mdash;Ted Stevens

Massive, massive tubes. Tangled up tubes.

Concerns About the Internets
The Internets can get clogged up from time to time, especially if too many pieces of large media, such as movies, are put in at once. This can lead to you not receiving any internets that, perhaps, your staff had sent you. In addition too, the only way to clear a clog is to use lottery balls to flush out the clog. It should also be noted that horses are the only known thing that is able to easily flow through the tubes.

What the Internets is not
The internet is, however, a series of tubes.
 * The internets is NOT a dump truck. With a few notable exceptions, you cannot masturbate to it, therefore, it is not the Internets.

The internet is, however, a series of tubes.
 * The internets is NOT an old man with a glass eye. Although some old men with glass eyes may use the internets.

The three useful sites on the internets
While the the internets is extremely large, it contains only three useful websites:


 * KittenWars.com
 * ColbertNation.com
 * The Port Athorities Website