Dick Cheney

Deadeye "Dick" "Shotgun Blues" Cheney is the Vice President of the United States, right-hand man to George W. Bush. A man of few words, he's chock-full of truthiness. He knew in his gut there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. In fact, he still does. That's the kind of truthiness the man lugs around in that gut, which partially explains the size of the thing.

This enigmatic character had first come into mainstream fame on February 11, 2006 when Mr. Cheney had shot his friend in the face after drinking. The cover story was that they were hunting at the time, however that has been shown to be wrong. His friend made the mortal mistake of questioning Cheney about a specific facet of the Iraq war. Tim Russert has also made this affront to Cheney and barely escaped with his life. A little known fact about Dick Cheney is that he is a Dark Lord of the Sith, with the power to submit people into passing legislation with his mighty force lightning. His hobbies include playing with his favorite gameboy game, Pokemon, quail hunting, and rightfully shooting traitors in the face. The man suggested that he do something "good for America." Turning America's world into a Liberal-Scum World is not a good thing. It sounds too much like Nancy Pelosi.

Awards

 * [[Image:Colbert20061218CheneyBallsProfile.jpg|right|200px]]First recipient of The Colbert Report's December 18, 2006 Profiles in Balls for his having "the rocks to call it like it is", as Dr. Stephen Colbert put it.

Factoids

 * Cheney doesn't blink much. Puts too much strain on the area of his chest where the heart is located in other people.
 * Cheney's daughter Lynn owns a very successful rug cleaning business.
 * Cheney has recused himself from any tie to that Rug Cleaning business and will not talk about it in public.


 * Dick Cheney was born a sexual tiger. Grrrr.