Colbert Cruise

November elections got you down? Is House in re-runs? Ready to get away? Forget suicide, it's time to try something new!

Hello, I’m Onyx Blackman and I’m here to tell you a seven-day, six-night, high-seas celebration of the good ol’ U.S. of A. Join Stephen Colbert for a once in a lifetime vacation called the Colbert Cruise.

Theme
This year, our theme is: THE FIGHT TO TAKE BACK AMERICA Morals and Family on the High Seas.

The Colbert Seminars
Come, mingle and skeet shoot with like minded patriots and relax in a buffet rich environment. Then, find out what you can do to take America back in our Colbert Seminars, featuring speakers such as: Newt Gingrich

Rusty Wallace

And special appearances by: Stephen Colbert!

Off-Ship Excursions
You too can spread democracy by voting with your wallet at exotic destinations like our on-board mall. Marvel at the exotic wildlife of the Galapagos Islands and then you can picket the Charles Darwin research station.

Upon your return to the ship, feast on unlimited cocktail shrimp. In our 500 seat cabaret, delight in our Vegas style show girls, topless, but still family friendly! (Nothing above an ACup). The Colbert Cruise may be about American values, but it takes place in international waters, so you’ll want to visit our lavish casino with six roulette tables, a mile of nickel slots, and the best appointed cock-pit on the seven seas. You may even have a chance to play poker with Ron Silver.

And, every night at midnight, everyone on board gets an American Flag sheet cake! So, climb aboard the Colbert Cruise for fun freedom and family, and put unpatriotic vacations, on notice. The Colbert Cruise launches from the Port of New York this march, so hurry and get your tickets today! Slots are filling up fast! Don’t forget to take advantage of your Eager Eagle Discount!