The Beagle

The Beagle was a British ship sent to the Galapagos Islands on a routine expedition to conquer, colonize and bring Christianity to the native peoples there.

Upon arriving in the archipelago, no natives were to be found, other than a variety of tortosies and sea birds that God had placed there earlier.

Communist deckhand Charles Darwin fomented a mutiny among the crew and turned the noble expansionist mission of The Beagle into a dark 'scienctific' journey. The mutiny may or may not have been caused by Darwin's insistence that the differing sea birds of various islets were probably all descended from common ancestors. Darwin's insistence that the 'survival of the fittest' had led to the differences among the birds had caused 'evolutionary' changes in their appearance flew in the face of the truth; those birds are where they are because that's where Noah dropped them off on his journey to Mt. Ararat.

The Beagle's First Mate, British Naval Lieutenant Stephen Smythe-Colbert, bravely fought to regain control of the vessel but was set adrift in the ship's longboat with sixpence, a Holy Bible and some hardtack. After a six-month odyssey at sea, he returned to Portsmouth, too late to stop the publication of Darwin's fairy tale On the Origin of Species.