McDonald's™

McDonald’s™ is a place where fat people go to buy "food". McDonald’s™ "food", as it were, is actually composed of many exotic types of fats and lards, mostly from poor countries in Africa. The "Big Mac™" for example, has 2 "100% Beef™" patties, which are actually made up of ground-up zebra testicles, and lion ass. The "Quarter Pounder With Cheese™" however, owes it's thick juicy patties to the rare, but tastey, duck-billed platypus. Only the eyes and colon are used, the rest is disgarded.