Meg Whitman



Meg Whitman is the chick CEO who lead The eBay to where it is today!

She has decided that with all her experience, she would be well-qualified to be Governor of California.

Her past is an open book, just like Karen Hughes' was.

Brand creation
Few people know Meg's blue-blood lineage. She's tried her whole life to keep that part of her background a secret, but if one looks closely, one can clearly that she's Churchill's granddaughter!

Meg has received the very best that life has to offer and she's never had to associate with her inferiors.

It is unclear if birth can be described as her early beginnings. Her sudden appearence is attributed to corporate headhunters and Poilitcal advisors.....so it is believed she was pieced together with bits of Ronald Reagan, Pete Wilson and Sarah Palin with a dash of Hillary for exterior gloss.

Corporate Career
Meg has blessed many corporations with her presence:
 * Hasbro
 * Walt Disney
 * Stride Rite
 * Bain & Company

Executive Board Revolving Door
Meg is also on many boards to provide her special insight to their companies that she gave to the other ones she no longer works at:
 * The eBay Foundation
 * Procter & Gamble
 * DreamWorks Animation

When she's governor, she won't have a problem staying on those boards. Or leaving, whatever is a jury of her peers determines as legal.

Oh, and all those people she knows on those boards can help her find people to put in her staff or give really cool positions in her administration or any open government job that happens to become available.

Whatever works, ya know?

At The eBay
Before Meg, The eBay only had 30 employees. During her leadership, Meg took eBay to the internets and helped Americans stave off foreclosure for a few years, by selling crap to other people. By the end of her wildly successful executiveness, she was undermined by hippies and other assorted capitalism-haters.

Sadly, Meg was forced to leave with only her bonus to comfort her and just as she was about to turn the company around.

Rumors Surrounding Her "Alleged" Sociopathology


Just because she ran a company into the ground and got out just in the nick of time with her bonus, doesn't mean she's a sociopath like those other people who did the same thing, if not something very similar.

All those other CEOs were men, ruthless and mean men and Meg's a girl after all and girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice!

So California has absolutely nothing to worry about.

Meg promises that she will do to California what she did to eBay!

Other Personal Stuff (Besides Being A Sociopath)

 * She's married to the boy next door, Griffith Rutherford Harsh IV
 * she's got two kids and home schools them!

Shutting The Door On Rumors About Sociopathology Once And For All
As proven by an unbiased account of a random sampling of eligible California voters, Meg has been described as "real," "authentic" an "human".

Nothing else need be said to convince intellectually honest people of the sincerity of Meg's campaign for governor. Nor does anything else need to be added to her campaign literature about how good a politician leader she would be.

Meg has more than enough money invested to have her sincerity, realness, authenticity and human-like qualities repeated before election day to convince enough voters to believe it and keep enough Republicans in governorships before the party completely falls apart.

Beliefs
Even though she's never really said what they are, we here at Wikiality.com are certain Meg believes lots of things!

And, when the time is right, she'll let us all know what they are.

We trust her, because just look at her, she's a chick with dimples!

She looks just like what we'd imagine Arnold's grandmother would have looked like, without all the Old World lederhosen and what-not.

Politics
Meg believes everything that her GOP predecessors do, but she's very different than them in the sense that she's more like Sarah Palin. In that she's a woman, not a dude.

She believes in talking about creating jobs, which is no different than actually creating jobs.

Because as everyone knows if you can talk about something it is the same as doing it.

Not only that, but she also talks about tax cuts, too! And, just like creating jobs, talking about tax cuts is just as good as actually doing stuff!

Plus, if she can't do it, her party will certain provide her with the experienced personnel to shape, market and guide her policies, whatever they may be.

Meg has good political instincts endorsing both Mitt Romney and The Greatest Maverick Ever in America's 2008 Presidential election.

Religion
American can only hope that Meg is as heavenly as Sarah Palin!

No word yet on whether Meg will smote baby killers, but we're certain she will be able to find surveys to help her do what's right for Californians and other people all across America who depend on California's contribution to the federal budget.

Meg believes, like all her party fellows, that gay marriage is an abomination and supported Proposition 8 with all her God-given wealth.

Openness
Meg will also known for her openness. One day soon she will be describing this in complete detail, but until such time, Meg, her party and the public relations firm handling her image want to reassure the population of California who can still to afford television and/or the internets that Meg will be exactly as open as they imagine she needs to be to get elected.

How California Would Benefit With Meg As Governor!

 * Meg will be able to continue the great leadership started by Pete Wilson, delayed by that nerd, but picked back up by Arnold
 * Meg's just like us, if she doesn't know something, she will hire someone who will advise her and do whatever they say
 * she wouldn't be married to Skeletor, who would bring all that drama into the Governor's mansion
 * she's already rich so she wouldn't feel weird about moving into a mansion
 * she's probably wealthy enough to own a jet, if not she knows where California can buy one at a good price!
 * as soon as her term in office is over, California is guaranteed to save money on her salary!

If You Gave Meg A Chicken, She'd Give You...

 * healthcare
 * any gently used item from her secret eBay stash (your choice)
 * a seat near the kitchen at her next speaking engagement

External Tubes

 * Meg scores interview outside librul media filter!