Al Franken



Senator *vomit* Al Franken is the alter ego created by famed self-help guru Stuart Smalley (born May 21, 1951 in New York City. Figures.) Smalley, a known Jew rat communist, came up with the uber-liberal Franken character as a way of venting his frustration with all things good and American.

Smalley has used the Franken character to limited success as host of the leftist Air America radio program "The O'Franken Factor." Many Americans have fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed while listening to Franken, all perishing horribly in the burning wreckage. It is through this and similar means that Smalley hopes to reduce the number of Americans, making the United States ripe for takeover by France. Of course, this plan hinges on the unlikely circumstance that the French will ever be motivated to take over more than a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of wine, a plate of cheese and your girlfriend. It should also be noted that when Smalley wrote for the character on SNL the sketches Franken appeared in were the lowest rated skits ever (even most of the ones with Jimmy Fallon).

Al Franken's running for Senate Senate in Minnesota in 2008, showing that he does, in fact, still have a sense of humor.

On election day, the result was very close, with Coleman slightly ahead. But Franken came up with the foolish notion that when an election is that close, every vote should be recounted, just to be sure. At present, it looks like he will STEAL the election based on the un-American principle that every vote should count. Hopefully, the Supreme Court will stop this nonsense.

Al Franken's Cowardly Second Appearance On The Colbert Report
Al Franken appeared on "The Colbert Report" for the second time (he likes getting nailed) on November 15, 2006.

For any normal American it would have been an embarrassment, but for Franken it was just another chance to fantasize about The Greatest President Ever's flightsuit and discuss The Greatest President Ever's codpiece at length.

He openly mocked conservative commentator and supergenius Rush Limbaugh during the interview, even claiming to have saved his life.

If he had the balls to announce he was running for Senate from Minnesota on The Report, he might have received The Colbert Bump. Instead he's too interested in eating turkey and carrying the water for the Democrats.

Franken Trivia

 * Al Franken is going to hell.


 * Al Franken hates America.


 * Al Franken enjoys porn making him a godless pagan.


 * Al Franken is Michael Moore's sex slave.


 * Al Franken has penned books taking on Fox News, Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and other icons of American greatness.


 * Al Franken thinks he is funny. No one else does. Not even liberals.


 * Al Franken loves bears.


 * Al Franken comes from the Socialist Republic of Minnesota the only state not to vote for Ronald Reagan in the 1984 election.


 * Al Franken doesn't just hate America, he loathes and despises it.


 * If Al Franken wins the senate seat in Minnesota his first act will be to change its name from Minnesota to North Venezuela. He has already written the bill entitled 'senate bill 17 2008: America is stupid and evil, but communism is great.'


 * Al Franken is currently serving as vice-president of NAMBLA.


 * Al Franken enjoys exposing his flopping genitals to his wife's bridge club.


 * Believes he is personally responsible for Rush Limbaugh's heroic weight loss.


 * Al Franken is not good enough, he's not strong enough, and dog-gone-it, people don't like him!
 * Shot his friend and hunting partner Harry Whittington in the face and used his friends in the liberal media to blame it on Dick Cheney.


 * Suicide bombers listen to Al Franken's radio show for inspiration immediately before their attacks