A Salute to the American Lady
is a "Special Report" of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


A Salute to the American Lady was a Special Report edition of The Colbert Report which aired on October 10, 2006. It may or may not have been prompted by a series of allegations from The Colbert Report employees regarding actions which Stephen may or may not have performed which may or may not be recorded on a videotape which may or may not exist depending on the outcome of the settlement.

The Report

The Salute to the American Lady report began in a slapdash manner, as Stephen had to hastily assemble it in order to placate the employees and interns whom he had allegedly offended.

Women: I Love 'Em

DramaticQuestionMark.png Did you know...

There are still some ladies around today.

Stephen listed examples of great American women:

  • Betsy Ross
  • others

Stephen R.A.P.S.

Positive feedback for our society's women is encouraged at all times.

Stephen got out from behind the C Desk for some Raps And Positive Speaking with his female audience members. Together, topics like the wage gap between women and men, the Old Boy's Club, reproductive rights, and what women want in a relationship were covered and settled.

Some of the female audience members accused Stephen of only soliciting answers from men, but Stephen pointed out that, much as he doesn't see race, he doesn't see sex either. He is not a sexist. He just sees Americans, some of whom have a whoo-whooo and some who have a whhooooiiip.

Together, Stephen and the audience learned a whole lot about stuff he never thought he'd care about. Who wants chocolate kisses?

Cooking with Feminists


Be sure to use McIntosh apples when discussing feminism.

Stephen was joined in The Colbert Report Kitchen by feminist icons Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem, who helped him prepare the Greatest Dessert in the World, Apple Pie, as they discussed the state of American feminism.

They also shared an ice cream three-way.

Gloria helped Stephen understand the difference between an angry woman and a feminist: the feminist is honestly angry.

Gloria and Jane also talked about the women's radio network they have launched, Greenstone Media.

Ariel Levy Interview

Ms. Levy, discussing waxing of the nether regions.

Stephen sat down to interview feminist author Ariel Levy after first walking over to the Axe Body Spray Interview Zone in a pair of red high heels to help him get a feel for what The American Lady experiences every day.

They discussed strippercising and frequent Colbert Report sponsor Girls Gone Wild at length.


Ariel's definition of a lady is: A woman who is invested in her intellect, her humor, getting what she wants, things like that... and also female.

Stephen's Summation

In order to satisfy the requirements of the plea agreement, Stephen offered this:

Flag quote open clear2.gif
You know the Great American Lady can be found everywhere. At work, driving America's economy. At home, driving America's kids to soccer and on video, going wild. Yes, in my book, you're all Miss Americas. No... better... you're all Mrs. Colberts.
Flag quote close clear2.gif
~ Stephen Colbert