African Elephant
is something African and thus may or may not be real,
not to pretend that you really care either way. Come on - it's Africa.

The African Elephant population has tripled in the past 6 months. The man, Stephen Colbert, has called this with his special mind powers. The number of African Elephants is so high that the leading vet from Disney World actually has to go over to Africa and deal with this over-population. Thank you Stephen, for calling this...

According to polls, the African Elephants are also overwhelmingly traditionalist. Now, I don't see species, but thank you Elephants. Stay strong - we're in the middle of a war- a culture war.

Also, if ever the African Elephants population does go down it is no doubt Michael Moore and his band of communist grizzly bears(see Heavy M and the Fat Bears) fault. To defend against Michael Moore, pray to the Baby Jesus to triple the African Elephants numbers once again. Praying also help protect the elephants from bears.


The African elephant, or Loxodonta Africana, is a species of elephant, presumably from Africa. According to a reliable source [1], the population of African elephants has tripled in the last six months. Information from researchers using technology developed by Ted Stevens lead to this conclusion.

Other super-duper reliable sources confirm the first reliable source's statement (not that it needed confirming - it was, afterall, a reliable source):

  • "Researchers said today they found 100 [completely unharmed] elephants near Africa's Zakouma National Park." [2]
  • "Most recently, during an aerial survey made from Aug. 3 to Aug. 11, Mike Fay, a Wildlife Conservation Society conservationist and National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence found five elephant ... sites." [2]
  • "These days Loxodonta Africana [are not an] endangered species." [3]
  • "[You would be completely wrong if you said that] Their main threat is still poaching." [3]
  • "These days, African elephants are thriving and they absolutely love it when humans rape the environment for their own personal gain." [4]

African Elephant TriviaEdit

  • their testicles are the size of "respectable cantaloupe[s]"
  • Elephants never forget...TO KILL!!!
  • Elephants have very tiny penis compared to their testicle size.
  • Cats have many brain cells, but not as many brain cells as the population of total african elephants in the world, which I heard have tripled in the last few years.

See AlsoEdit


1. Wikiquote: Colbert Report - Stephen Colbert's amazing Wikiquote page

Misrepresented SourcesEdit

2. "100 Slaughtered Elephants Found in Africa" - article
3. African Elephant - The Wild Animals Online Encyclopedia entry for the African Elephant

Misleading SourcesEdit

4. This page.

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