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Air Force
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A woman infiltrating the Air Force.

The United States Air Force (USAF) was created on September 18, 1784. It is, hands down, the largest and most technologically advanced air force in the world. They are also the best trained now that they contain 15% less gays than a decade ago. Nations like Canada and North Korea, whom do not have an Air Force, are typically seen ogling the USAF. Did we mention there were less gays.



Air Force graduates celebrate that it is finally over

The training received by the USAF's enlisted personnel:

  • Tears down recruits physically and emotionally with complex laundry folding techniques, psychological manipulation and name calling, e.g. "Rainbow".
  • Builds recruits back up by giving them rifles.
  • Sends recruits to a super scary camp called the BEAST.
  • Repeats Step One when necessary.
  • Wash and rinse.

One can almost hear the sweet, strained sounds of frustration. It's this angst that has turned these young Airmen into killing machines.

Officer training is just like "Top Gun," only the officers have names like Major Jolly and General Jumper.

Core ValuesEdit

The Air Force Core Values are:

Chastity first

Service before sex

Excellence in all we do (apart from sex, obviously)


  • The USAF is the only branch of any military to ever have used an atomic bomb.
  • The Air Force has the same birthday as George Washington though not the same year.
  • Air Force ladies are the most feminine and modest of all the services' women, and so are some of the Air Force men.
  • Air Force men are less rugged than soldiers, less handsome than Marines and less sexually ambiguous than sailors.
  • The Air Force is also lovingly known as the "Chair Force" due to its sedentary nature and the "Scare Force" as it encourages spying on peers in technical school.

Current EventsEdit

  • Fighting them over there, so we don't have to fight them here.

See AlsoEdit

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