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Baby Jesus
Apple Jacks
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!

There it is, like a golden shrine of cinnamon goodness.

The Greatest thing in America! However, they are neither apples nor jacks.


This tasty treat was probably created by some Lefty looking for a way to fund his protests and abortions, but that's not important. I believe learning the history of cereal is like eating a steak and asking the waiter for the cow's life story.


People love Apple Jacks, but being that they are neither apples nor jacks, they cause an uproar. It really doesn't make sense to call something what it isn't. I mean, it's like trying to call the war in Iraq a senseless war, it's crazy!

Apple Jacks in Our WorldEdit

Many enjoy Apple Jacks and its delicious cinnamon flavor may be responsible for the increasing population of African Elephants in Africa.

What would Stephen say?Edit

Now, I'll make this clear, me and Stephen aren't on speaking terms because, well, we don't know each other, but I think I know what Stephen would say.

  • Yum
  • They don't taste as delicious as Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream!
  • If we could flavor these with poison, we could trick the bears into eating them, thinking it has apples!
  • It's like Cheerios with flavor!
  • I bet the President would enjoy these too!
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