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Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
Body Parts Series
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Does Boobs
make you horny, baby?


Good Boobs. Stephen Colbert would like these boobs.


According to mammary expert Dennis Prager, God created breasts to give men pleasure...and motorboats. They should not be used to teach babies cannibalism. This is why they received a Wag of the Finger form Stephen Colbert on the 8/9/06 Colbert Report. Stephen Colbert likes lady boobs. They have those niblets on the front.

Mammalian attributes displayed by women and sixpack-challenged men. In primitive cultures used for feeding babies, a practice discouraged by modern international corporations offering more efficient feeding methods. In modern day countries, boobs are mainly a source of entertainment happiness, and turning bears straight. Stephen Colbert has been known to place his face betwixt a pair of good boobs, and just shake his face back and forth while making a "Brrrrrrrrrrrrr" noise. This is known as a "Motorboat." Delightful.


Bad Boobs. Also known as Man-Boobs. Stephen Colbert would not like to motorboat these boobs.

  • Stephen Colbert likes boobs.
  • Real Americans like boobs.
  • Liberals do not like boobs, mostly because they are a bunch of idiotic, BEAR-loving boobs, and therefore try to make us see too many boobs, oversaturating the boob market lowering their market value. Although they never will.
  • Generally the maximum size of sexy boobs is the head of the owner.
  • Extremely massive breasts can produce a quantum singularity at their center of mass. This quantum singularity has been known to consume all testosterone that is within inches of the breasts, where m is the mass of the breasts, r is the distance from the breasts, and IQ is the IQ of the male who is getting too close to the breasts. This equation shows that extremely massive breasts can pose a problem to the human race by consuming all testosterone from nearby males. Thus females with massive breasts should be sent to Venus in order to prevent the downfall of the American race.

See Also

External Sources