God Touching Adam
"Bootstrap theory"
you have been touched in a very special way.

The Bootstrap Theory was pioneered by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert. It states that the best way for a person or group of people to come up in the world is to create their own opportunites and lift themselves up by their bootstraps. It was similar to evolution in that it was an unproven theory of Doctor Colbert's, but after several years of study at the Honorable Reverend Jerry Falwell's Liberty University the obvious truth on the matter of Bootstrap theory was revealed. It is now common fact amongst true Americans that bootstrap theory is no longer a theory, but a fact of life. As evidence of this fact, the theory was illustrated in Cirque du Soleil.

Oh No!
Bootstrap theory
needs help fast!
Quick! Someone call the cavalry!

editors note: The bootstrap theory was actually established by Booker T. Washington in the 19th century, we apologize for any inconveniences.