Al Franken.jpg
CNN has earned
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy





Full Network Name Clinton News Network
Communist News Network
Transmission Cable
Year Founded 2004
Corporate Owner The Carlyle Group
C.E.O. George Soros(aka) Satan
Types of Programs Celebrity Trivia, Entertainment, Commercials, Newsticker
Sister Networks CNN en Español
Most Popular Programs (none)
Most Popular Celebrities
Slogan 'This is CNN'

'CNN the most trusted name in news'

'CNN, the communist news network

CNN is a television news network inspired by the success of Comedy Central's The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, opening to poor numbers in 2004, mostly because it was running against Seinfeld reruns. CNN, however, is a member of the Liberal Media Elite, or NAMBLA. CNN's one mission in this world is to question the President, and in a time of war no less. CNN is also known as the Clinton News Network. CNN employs a wide array of pinko-communists to read the news to its viewers, instead of feeling it at them. That is why it is called "the most trusted name in liberal propaganda." Recently, CNN admitted that that their news coverage is nothing more than a web of lies. This also proved that the people at CNN are a bunch of pussies, since this admission was made in an apology to Michael Moore.

In addition, being appointed a CNN anchor affords the employee a lifetime membership to NAMBLA, a perk Lou Dobbs found irresistable.


Started in 1976 by Ted Turner, above a 7-11 in Midtown Atlanta, CNN (Communist News Network) grew as the cable channel boom hit. It moved it's headquarters to what is now the CNN Center in downtown Atlanta as part of a plan to redevelop downtown after Sherman burned it. It was the main center of liberal propaganda in America during the 80's and early 90's, as well as a hotel and food courts. Jane Fonda would make apperences as Turner's then wife handing out commie propaganda to people at the food court. Lou Dobbs put a stop to it when he built a fence around the place, to keep Mexicans and Jane Fonda from illegally entering. Soon after the food court fell on hard times.

The Turner Store was located at the center for some time. The store was dedicated to everything Ted Turner as well as his 200 different channels. The store wasn't as cool as the The Stephen Colbert Museum and Gift Shop and for that reason folded.

Another moment in history was on October 15, 2004, Jon Stewart single handedly stopped the partisan hackery that was Crossfire. For this we are all grateful.

Headline News

Headline News was created in the early 90s when CNN desperately needed an auxiliary media outlet because of an accidental clerical error of over-stocking too much bullsh*t liberal propaganda from HQ.

Network Celebrities

The Others

See Also

External Tubes

is a Member of the
NAMBLA Family of Associations
Since 1333

Welcome To
Please everyone, you are invited
to edit this page!