Candice Bergen
dialed up "The Colbert Report " as an On The Phone guest
and got nailed in the process.
Candice Bergen
Is an Uber Hottie and you are not! She makes The Baby Jesus stand at attention.
You may look, but do not touch. Unless Stephen Colbert has Nailed her first.

Personal assistant to Dan Quayle

Candice Bergen is the alias used by liberal reporter and shameless single mother Murphy Brown in an attempt to 'pass' in polite society.

Guest Of The ReportEdit

Ms. Bergen was an 'On The Phone' guest of Stephen on the February 15, 2007 edition of The Colbert Report.

As another of the 365 Most Influentual Cutural Figures in America as selected by Mastermedia International Candy experienced the power of tens of thousands of godly prayer directing her to be a light and force for uplifting American culture and His Holy Name on January 27, 2007. Through the power of prayer, Ms. Bergen was able to pick up her dry cleaning almost ten minutes after the laundry was supposed to close. Thank you Baby Jesus.

Miracles WitnessedEdit


  • Denies having heat-vision


Ms. Bergen has not denied being gay, nixo-facto she will be considered gay until she denies it.

See AlsoEdit

Candice Bergen
is a CELEBRITY! Oh. My. God.
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