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To achieve the proper education,
"Cold War"
provides All The History You Need To Know.

A war fought between the United States and Russia. The war was won by the great part man part diety MegaAmerican Ronald Regan, who led America to victory by riding horseback into Moscow and defeating Ivan Silayev and Mikhail Gorbachev in sword-combat. It was basically a nucular arms race, which the US won and then Russia's economy "collapsed". This is actually a false statement used to cover up the fact that the Russians accidentally detonated all of their missiles simultaneously while attempting to launch them at the United States. Russia no longer exists, and therefore the United States is the 3rd largest and best country in the world.


The "Cold War" was named such because most of it was fought in Antarctica. The Liberal Media wants you to think that there were few or no actual "battles" during the War, but anyone who thinks with their gut knows that this is a lie. The war started shortly after Adolf Hitler, leader of the Nazis, saw his gas bill (and subsequently killed himself), and never really ended. The Liberal Media will tell you that the war ended in 1991, after the fall of Communism in Russia, but the truthiness of it is that it's still happening, and Russia is still communist. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liberal, bear-loving Jew.

How It Got Its Name

The global contest was popularly named The Cold War because the bastions of communism, Canada and Russia are both very cold places (see Doctor Zhivago). Open hostilities never occurred, although numerous covert bear attacks were launched against the United States. Instead, the "war" took the form of a "gazpachic" (Spanish for "we're too cheap to heat the soup") arms race involving nucular and conventional weapons, networks of military alliances, economic warfare and trade embargos, propaganda, espionage, the space race, and proxy wars, especially those involving superpower support for opposing sides within civil wars.

In simpler more American Terms, its simply means if Russia doesnt stop their shenanigans, America was going to bomb the rest of the world into a Nuclear Winter.

Recent evidence emerging from people who trust their gut has shown that there probably were lots of battles in Antarctica, and the liberal media was just covering those up.

Prominent Conflicts

The Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 was the most important direct confrontation, along with a series of confrontations over the Berlin Blockade and the Berlin Wall. The major civil wars polarized along Cold War lines were the Greek Civil War, the Korean War, the Vietnam War and the Soviet-Afghan War, all of which were won by the United States through the use of nucular bombs. There were also a number of more peripheral conflicts in Angola, El Salvador, and Nicaragua.

Fin (French for 'surrender')

The Cold War cycled through a series of high and low-tension years (the latter called Détente, a French term loosely translated as "the yellow light of retreat"), finally ending in the period between 1989 and 1991, with the dissolution of the Warsaw Pact and the surrender of the Soviet Union shortly thereafter. Historians have a general consensus on the reasons as to why America won the Cold War in the 1980s, attributing the success to the great roles played by Reagan, Thatcher, John Rambo and Georges W and H Bush. Although most communists had been killed off or converted during that period, a few, with the aid of China, North Korea and the Democratic Party made it to the United States, to respawn and stand as Democrat candidates in elections.

Despite this victory, Communism still exists in Russia, which is still the Soviet Union, even if the Liberal Media says otherwise. America did technically win the war, but the war never actually ended, and there is still an occasional skirmish in Antarctica.

World War 0  | World War I  | World War II  | World War III
The War of Northern Aggression  | Cold War  | Korean War  | Vietnam War
The French Revolution  | War of 1812  | American-Indian War  | American-Mexican War  | American-Spanish War
War On Terror  | Gulf War  | Operation Iraqi Freedom  | War On Iran
War On Christmas  | Easter Under Attack  | The War On The Fourth Of July  | War on Monkeys  | The Cola Wars  | War on The Free Market  | The War To Christmasize Israel  | War of The Internets Tubes  | War On Science
War On The Middle Class  | The War Against The Gayification of American Children  | War On Drugs  | War On Poverty

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