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Condoms are complicated devices (that also happen to be sticky, gross) that should never be used....especially if you have AIDS.

Despite the rather annoying objections of World Health Organization, the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, the Centers for Disease Control, the Department of Health and Human Services, the Global Health Council, and dozens of others, using condoms does not prevent AIDS!

Infact, Catholic officials (cardinals, bishops, priests and nuns) all over the world have been saying that HIV can pass through tiny holes in condoms. And if anyone knows anything about sex, it would be them.

If anything, using these sinful devices actually spreads AIDS (like cold sores at a kissing booth). Priests in Africa even have gone so far as inspecting supposedly sterile condoms and warning people that that condoms are laced with HIV/AIDS!


Pure American Joe-tection!

The proper way to use a Condom:

  1. Get a banana (if none are available maybe use a cucumber).
  2. Tear open the condom package.
  3. Unravel the condom
  4. Stretch the condom to at least shoulder width
  5. Blow up the condom like a balloon
  6. Tie the condom.
  7. Untie the condom and let it go.
  8. Now you are safe to have sex (Assuming you are going to participate in heterosexual sex with your partner, whom you are married to. This is also assuming you will participate in said sexual relations under the covers, clothed above the waist, and with the lights off.)
  9. Condoms are ineffective if you sleep in the same bed after said relations.

An actual demonstration of how to use and dispose of a condom:

  • Safe Sex Video
  • You must be 18 years or older to view this because it contains seductive images.

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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