Certain flavors of cow are protected speeches. Dr. Colbert noted that the slaughter of louis vitton bovinae was reduced in 2007Episode #310 when the practice of recycling was introduced to the handbag industry.

Cows (heffer bovinae) have a poor reputation, mainly do to being included in jokes about your momma. But they have seen their image improve as of late do to their parachuting skills and billboard vandalism (c'mon we all like a good vandal). "Eat mor chikin" is their slogan as they crash any event susceptible to a falling cow. Although this cheery slogan delights most, Blacks (Afro-Americans) are not so entertained. The last thing Blacks need to be told is to "Eat mor chikin". Why not just tell them to "Eat mor watermelon" or "Chase uglier white women".

But cows will press on and find different ways to improve their image. They often reveal facts about themselves in order to seem more inviting. Such as the facts that:

Happy cows live in California, flying cows live in Oregon, gay cows in Massachusetts, etc., this joke could go on, but I'm having a hard enough time keeping your attention about cows.

Cows do not really have 8 stomachs. They just say that to make Rosie O'Donnel jealous.

They really do like being milked. (who wouldn't!!!!)

And so on......



Daisy was the first cow to have visited The Eagle's NestEpisode #546.

The cow has been abused for centuries. In 700 AD a cow was killed for its meat. JUST MEAT!!!! Cows have returned with a vengence though, attacking any creatures who eat "the beef". One cow of late has switched teams and now advertises for Burger 'Monarch' and stalks an innocent white man for eating a chicken sandwich. When interviewed she said "that fool been touchin' up on dem chick hoes!" This cow is not from California.




  • You have to kill a cow to make butter.
  • If you look a cow in the mouth an angel gets fired from its job, which is advertising Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
  • Cows have many stomachs, the number increasing with age
  • cows have 310 million boobies
  • Their main source of vitamins is kiwi, the bird not the fruit
  • cows raised in factory farms (or industrial livestock production) are commonly referred to in the industry as robot cowsEpisode #521

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Where all blessed Animals live.

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