Osama bin Lisa
Mahmoud Ahmedi-Disney Channel-nejad is a terrorist.
The Baby Satan has a special place in hell for
Disney Channel
and YOU just for visiting this internets tube!
Al Franken
Disney Channel has earned


Disney Channel

Disney Channel
Common Network Name Disney Channel
Slogan 2
Transmission 3 (pick one: TV Broadcast, Radio Broadcast, Cable, Satellite TV or Satellite Radio)
Year Founded 4
Corporate Owner 5
C.E.O. 6
Types of Programs 7 (news, sports, music)
Sister Networks 8
Most Popular Programs 9
Most Popular Celebrities 10

Basically the biggest load of crap ever to come on television. Therefore it is unjustly. Surprisingly many preteens like Disney Channel. It is also the most homosexual TV Channel next to e!, WE, and Logo. It was based off the famous Disney Corporation.

History Edit

Plans were drawn out by an act of the Soviet Union in 1966 for a Disney Channel right after Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev assassinated Walt Disney himself. It was broadcasted on April 18th 1983, and it basically struggled but still kept on airing because it showed classic and retro Disney toons that everyone loved. These plans were based off of Adolf Hitler's plans for a Disney Channel

Then came 1997 when it became "cool" a channel. Popular shows during this era were Even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, Smart Guy and So Weird. All these shows starred actors like Hilary Duff and Shia LaBeouf before they became trashy and famous. Between 2002-2004, the network dropped many of it's "popular" shows and came up with even worse shows like That's So Raven and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

Current Channel Edit

It still continues to kill off shows and replace them with equally shitty or shittier shows.

Currently these shows air:

  • Hanna Montana: A show about this international pop star who can't sing but for the show's sake "can". The pop star also leads a double life as a normal girl who also can't sing.
  • Wizards of Waverly Place: A stupid show about teenage satans in training that whine as much as the France and use demon magic that their father teaches them.
  • The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: A show about twins that are as creepy as the Nintendo wii guys who live in a hotel because their mom sings in the hotel and can't afford to buy a real house. Thats how bad this show is.
  • Cory in the House: A spinoff of the show "That's so Raven". A show about a kid, who's father became a chief in the white house. This is the worst show because the Greatestpresident is not George W. Bush. Therefore, it is the most evil show ever. Then again it isn't much eviler than all the other shows.
  • Good Luck Charlie: A show where a baby gets all the attention because the dad never learned how to use a damn condom. It also teaches kids that they are losers if they don't go out with anyone, which is why you see ugly 5th graders dating.

Disney Channel South Africa Edit

Disney Channel is so bad that they even built a branch of Disney Channel networks around the world. One of them is Disney Channel South Africa. They have basically the South african parallel to Disney channel. There were at one time, four subscribers to the channel. The fourth one got killed because of a shark attack. The third one got killed because of the civil war to keep DCSA from the Black people. The second to last one had to work for the blood diamond industry to keep the channel and had to keep the job because of the apartied, as a result he was recruited for the movie, Blood Diamond and ended his subscription because he didn't have time to watch DCSA. The last subscriber got manned by a lion. The host of the channel got trampled by a zebra stampede soon after the last subcriber died. Now that there are not any subscribers or a host left to kept it running, Walt Disney decided to come back to life and use his powers coerce our beautiful government(from the powers that coerced the people into watching Disney Channel) into sending the peace corp to find more subscribers and even provide more economic aid. Now the host is Hanna Montana with her face painted black. There are now currently fifteen subscribers. Basically Disney Channel South Africa adds on to the injustices in this world.

Their Current Plans for World DominationEdit

Disney Channel is implementing many plans to take over the world.

  • To spread their Communist/Socialist ideas to children through their "sitcoms."
  • They are currently holding Star Wars creator George Lucas hostage in an attempt to gain the rights to Star Wars. If they succeed things could go bad: they could make Mickey Mouse a hippy Jedi and take out all the violence in the movies and have him peacefully turn every bad guy to the good side. They could also re-film all the movies with Disney Channel stars playing the characters.
  • Teach kids that artists like Jonas Brothers and Selena Gomez are rock n' roll.
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