Godless Killing Machines
Dragons are kick-ass creatures dedicated to the destruction of idiots.
Fun Facts about Dragons
- Along with Balrogs, dragons played an essential role in Morgoth's plot to rule Middle Earth. The worst dragon Morgoth created was Ancalagon, but the most famous was Smaug (whom Bilbo the Hobbit met while "burglering" under the Lonely Mountain, as recounted in The Hobbit).
- Dragons don't like being stereotyped as 'evil'; they are in fact polite, respectful creatures, helpful if you need some heavy backup in a fight or if you need a fire-lighter.
- Dragons aren't arsonists; Tom Cruise is.
- Dragons are an essential component of Dungeons & Dragons; Otherwise it would just be "Dungeons & something"
- It has been prophesied that dragons will be the aerial assault force for heaven during the bear uprising of 2012, but that Stephen Jr. will come in and devour the bears in one fell swoop (in a manner reminiscent of the final battle scene in The Hobbit).
- Komodo Dragons aren't dragons. They're a kind of monitor lizard that lives in The Maldives Islands. They have been known to devour hippies, but Brian Wilson is the only person known to have devoured a Komodo dragon. The song Kokomo was written about its delicious flesh.
- Of everyone alive on Earth today, only George W. Bush and Stephen Colbert could kill a dragon. If dragons were real, that is. Which they're not. But if they were. And I mean, there's no way to prove for sure that they aren't. Like, everybody thought Hobbits weren't real, until those archeologists or whatever they were discovered those tiny people's bones. And now look who's "wasting their time" in a "fantasy world"?