"Elisa Maza"
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"Elisa Maza"
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Elisa Maza dresses like a hooker

Elisa Maza is a filthy, pink liberal. Oh, she pretends she isn't by carrying a gun, but she's no NRA member. Why, at one point, she was stupid enough to get shot with her own gun. Instead of telling her friend he was stupid -- because guns don't kill people, people kill people -- she started keeping it in a lock box.

She is the daughter of the seditious Peter Maza, a Hopi Indian who violated his father's wishes and escaped from the reservation that God had Americans put his people in so that he could undermine America by inflitrating the NYPD. Elisa Maza follows in his tradition of undermining America by living in New York City and voting for liberal candidates.

She voted for Al Gore. Rectify that with "Protect and Serve," Detective Pinko.

She is also half-African American, and has been disqualified from being Stephen Colbert's new Black friend.

Maza also commits unnatural acts that go against God's plan: namely, Beastiality. She is dating a gargoyle named Goliath. If God meant for her to do that, He'd have given her wings. She'd probably couple with a bear too. At least the rumors of her dating Demona have so far been proven to be false, as Demona despises all humans.

Maza is living proof that the NYPD has a liberal bias. She abandonded her post for six months in 1996, disappearing to parts unknown. I guarantee you, if Elisa were a white, Christian male, she'd have been fired. That's what my gut says. Oh sure, they say she was "undercover" when she was demanding protection money from hard working Americans, but, I guarantee you she pocketed it. No way could she afford that huge apartment on a cop's salery.

But, perhaps even graver than all that, is Maza abusing her power to harass David Xanatos. Why? He has done nothing wrong. The man is an American hero!

Why Internal Affairs has yet to look into her is beyond me.

Maza Trivia

  • When her fellow police officers were dying on September 11th, Maza was home sleeping.
  • Stabbed her own brother in the back by helping him get mutated into a winged freak.
  • Did not vote for George W. Bush
  • Had a brief affair with a Scottish terrorist.
  • Can't shoot for shit
  • Thinks Jon Stewart is funnier than Stephen Colbert
  • Is mob boss Tony Dracon's special Brown Sugar
  • It is a well known fact that Maza's younger brother is a Black Panther.
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