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Emmy Award


Dr. Colbert with his long overdue Emmy


The Lesbionic Awards: Emmy Has Two Mommies

The Golden Idol of Hollywood. The Emmy Award is something the Communist whores of HollywoodBabylon give each other for no particular reason. "The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences" holds their Awards Ceremony (Whore Mass) once a year, and clutter our airwaves with their un-American spectacle. Despite all this the awards are going through a change. This was indicated in 2008 when Stephen finally won.


The "Emmy" Award is a golden idol that was once housed in Babylon and we all know how that turned out. The commies brought their whore to Hollywood in 1949. It was bad enough we couldn't finish celebrating our victory in World War II, but now we had to watch these un-Christian heretics parade their godless paganism on TV every year since.

The "Award"Edit

The Emmy was named after "Epheminata" the SheMale Whore of Babylon. The statue is an exact replica of her statue that graced the Grande Whorehouse of Babylon in 450 B.C.. Tom Cruise looks amazingly similar.

The "Ceremony"Edit

Each year the "Academy" holds an awards ceremony to flaunt their anit-Americanness for all the world to see. The "Academy" nominates 5 performers in several different categories and presents the "winner" of each category one statuette. Usually the least deserving is given the "award" as a show of un-Americanness.

The 2006 Voting ScandalEdit


The Honorable Congresswoman Harris inserting herself into the 2006 Emmy recount

Stephen Colbert was nominated in 12 categories and did not win one "award." Instead, Barry Manilow and some monkey named John Stewart were awarded Emmys.

Within hours of hearing about this travesty of Justice, the True, Freedom-Loving American residents of the Former 50th Congressional District of California surrounded Hollywood. Congresswoman Katherine Harris rode her horse over from Florida and led the fight for a recount of the "Academy's" ballots.

When The Honorable Congresswoman Harris certified the Emmy Recount, Stephen Colbert was awarded his rightful 28 awards.


This picture shows the 28 Emmys awarded to Stephen, plus the one George Clooney gave up as an apology and another one from Barbra Streisand, because she's a commie.

Congratulations, Stephen! And take that, Godless Sodomites!

Stephen Allows That Manilow Be Awarded The EmmyEdit

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart Present at the Emmys

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart Present at the Emmys

Stephen addressing the godless sodomites

Despite the work of all the residents of California's former FIGHTIN' 50TH! and The Honorable Katherine Harris, Stephen Colbert will allow that Barry Manilow be awarded the Emmys previously engraved for Stephen.

However, Manilow, be forwarned: Stephen's "Passionately from the Heart, Songs of Love and Opinion" will win next year, and all those Emmy's will go home with Daddy.

The 2007 Emmy AwardsEdit

On July 19, 2007 at a secret ceremoney held in a Hollywood dungeon at 5 AM, The Colbert Report was nominated for four Emmys: Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series; Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program; Outstanding Writing For a Variety, Music or Comedy Program; and Outstanding Directing For a Variety, Music or Comedy Program. The show was nominated in each of these categories last year, bringing its total number of nominations to eight.

The Emmys also created some new categories: Greatest Host Ever, Hottest Man Ever, News Stud and Hottest Man in Glasses, in which there was (and will be) only one nominee, Stephen Colbert.

The 2008 Emmy AwardsEdit

In 2008 our glorious Stephen finally won an Emmy for The Colbert Report. He won Outstanding Writing for a Variety or Comedy Program.

Stephen had received three nominations this year; Outstanding Variety or Comedy Program which he lost to John Stewart, Outstanding Host of a Variety Or Comedy program which he lost to Don Rickles & Outstanding Writing for a Variety or Comedy program which he won.

Stephen promised not to talk politics at the show but he endorsed John McCain for president anyway saying its good to have a prune in the White House.

The 2009 Emmy AwardsEdit

In 2009 our glorious Stephen was robbed of his deserving Emmy and this time it was that treacherous joo John Stewart!!!


But fear not, Stephen got his sweet revenge.

The 2010 Emmy AwardsEdit

Another year, another chance to win the Emmy Awards! This is it folks!! There is no f#cking way we are loosing this year!!... also, who the hell is Betty White?

Update: Who's Not Honoring Stephen Emmy EditionEdit

The Emmies, thats who!

New Update: WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Edit

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I have supped on the flesh of mine enemies, and drunk the heady wine of victory! A legion of angels will anoint my naked body with fragrant unguents and tonight– tonight, there shall be tacos!
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~ Stephen Colbert
August 23, 2010

Dr. Colbert's peons

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If a crew of writers can help him win a few Emmys,
imagine what a human centipede can do!


62nd Primetime Emmy Awards - Oustanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series

62nd Primetime Emmy Awards - Oustanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series

The 2010 Emmys: You are a dead man, John

Oh, yeah. Joo Boy got some Emmys too

Also, some hardcore lesbo stole some Emmys as well

People will remember this night for many years to come, including their traumatized children

The 2011 Emmy AwardsEdit

For the 9th year in a row, The Daily Show wins Outstanding Variety, Comedy, Or Musical Series. As always, we suspect foul play.

The 2012 Emmy AwardsEdit

Or as Stephen Colbert calls it, why bother?

Eye CandyEdit

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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