Evelyn McGee-Colbert
is a proud member
of Stephen Colbert's family!
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

The secret identity of Dr. Colbert's wife, Mrs. Colbert, revealed to the terrorists by some traitor, most likely a New York Times reporter. (Hope you like your new home at Gitmo when we catch you, you traitor!!!)

Alberto Gonzales wanted to start an investigation into who leaked her identity, but Nancy Pelosi wants to investigate Alberto instead.

Known KnownsEdit

  • Stephen does not celebrate Mother's Day with Evelyn: She is not his mother. If the little kids want to honor Evelyn, that's fine.
  • Teases Stephen mercilessly and endlessly when he takes himself too seriously.
  • Stephen asked Evelyn to marry him the first time she smiled at him.
  • Stephen tried to fight off Jane Fonda so Evelyn wouldn't get mad at him.
  • Is completely out of Stephen's league.
  • Married him for his full head of hair.

Children Edit

  • Evelyn did produce three offspring, one girl and 2 boys. The eldest girl writes Stephen's jokes in pictograph form, which saves him the embarrassing trouble of learning to read. The elder boy is a bald eagle called Stephen Jr., the youngest is a child, or more accurately an octoroon. Stephen named him "Sweetness" after the gun he used to convince Evelyn to accept his marriage "proposal."

This article is not a stub. It is a perfect and complete source of Truthiness that cannot be improved upon. If it ain't broke don't f#@k with it. You will get a Wag of the Finger* from Stephen if you attempt to change it.
*Wag of the Finger not guaranteed.