|Plural:||There are too many already|
|Etymology:||from the French|
Fasche meat of the fruit, tounne meaning fat
and ista a suffix meaning
"you are a"
Factonistas will tell you that there is no such word as "Factonista" and they would be wrong. There is such a word, just look at the top of this page. Even if Factonistas accepted the truthiness of the word, they would only complain about inconsistent spelling. Factinistas, we just can't please yas!
There it is: Factonista. Google it, go ahead...I'll wait...see? There it is.
Factinistas are people (usually liberals) who ignore the truthiness of everything and instead rely on facts, which everyone knows have a liberal bias. The great 21st century Truthitician, and Great American Hero, Stephen Colbert debunked the theory that reality is based in facts. Reality is based on gut. It has more nerve endings than your brain. Look it up. It may not be true, but it sure feels like it should be. You can feel truthiness deep down in your cojones. Where can you feel facts? Nowhere. That's where.
Some philosophers have theorized that reality is a thought in the mind of God. Facts wouldn't support this, but truthiness does. Take that factinistas.
Factonistas will burn in Hell for all Eternity.
Factonistas Are Real!
You cannot deny it, no matter how many books you read, or how much tofu you eat.
How Factonistas Get Their "facts"
- Read books other than the Good Book
- Read Indie newspapers
- Listen to their head
- Ignore their guts
- Go to school outside the home
- Eat tofu
- Negotiate with bears
- Listen to Noam Chomsky
- Eat tofu again
- Mine the bowels of infidels
- Wear Birkenstocks
- Avoid watching the O'Reilly Factor
- Go to liberal elite Universities like Harvard
Why Americans Should Stop The Factonistas
- They hate America.
- They hurt Our Troops.
- They are contrary to everything Stephen Colbert loves.
- They are godless sodomites.
- They sell vacuums peddled by some British guy who obviously thinks way too much about vacuums.
- They are vegans, meaning that: they eat babies. It's true, I saw them do it once.
- They worship the devil in underground caves while having premarital sex and burning pictures of the president.
- They frequently stomp puppies to death.
- Every time they masturbate, God kills a kitten.
- They masturbate ALL THE TIME.
- They love bears. Even teddy bears.
- Some of them speak French.
- They're secretly Communists and $cientologists.
- Factonistas believe in global warming.
- Factonistas base their knowledge on observable events rather than their guts.
- Factonistas believe in evolution.
- Factonistas enjoy things like science and medicine. The wimps!
- Factonistas love bears. Where does that love come from - their so-called knowledge or their guts? Their tasty, tasty guts. Maybe the bears will find out.
- Factonistas are dirty hippies.
- Factinistas love Michael Moore so much, they've made a golden idol of him in Flint, Michigan.
- Hate America Firsters
- Blame America First Crowd
- The New York Times
- Washington Post
- Freedom Haters
- There is no conflict just because I used something very much like a fact to prove facts are worthless. Stop thinking about it.