G. David Schine
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America
Despite what you may have heard
G. David Schine
Is totally not gay!

G. David Schine was an American patriot, corporate hero, and Roy Cohn's camping buddy.

Schine worked hard his whole life to inherit his family's real estate empire. Once he became rich and got God on his side, he embarked upon a holy mission to destroy Communism by publishing a pamphlet on the Red Menace so chock full of truthiness that it did not have enough room for "facts" or correct spelling. The pamphlet garnered so much praise from Schine's mother legions of fans that the Justice Department offered him a job with Joseph McCarthy's Holy Crusade against the Commies. McCarthy paired him with Cohn, who had been cruising searching for a young partner to help him eradicate subversion, from top to bottom.

There was just one problem: Schine had been drafted. While Cohn admired men in uniforms, he needed his young charge to stay stateside, so he approached the Army and respectfully asked them to exempt Schine; when his reasonable offer was refused, Cohn politely said he would have no choice but to reluctantly "wreck the Army". What followed was one of the most obviously rigged trials in military history, in which McCarthy and Cohn were maligned for abusing their power using their position to protect a crony help out a friend.

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