Truthiness award3
Truthiness award3
Gay Bears/Featured
won a 2006 "Truthie"
for Prettiest Article of the Year
See all the winners here.

Gay Bears/Featured
has been a "Featured Article"

This page is protected
to preserve it exactly as it was when it won this award.

Hey Ted, should keep the article
"Gay Bears/Featured"?
"NO! It just clogs up the tubes of The Internets!"
"Gay Bears/Featured"
is an Official "Lover of Immoral Bears" (LiB) Site™
Gay Bear Flag

Gay Bear Banner and Credo: We're here, we're queer, we're going to snuff the light from your loved ones eyes as you watch in impotent horror!

Gay Bear Hybridization

The Adam and Steve of the Gay Bear hybridization program. Note: The creature in the foreground is "human," not Gimli son of Gloin, a popular misconception.

Gay Bears MarriageCensored

Joint marketing campaign with the Pro-Bear Lobby to promote and legalize hot male bear marriage. Censored for your protection.

Gay Bears are a hybridization between the bear population and gay men. The Gay Bear breeding program was initiated in 1968. It was a joint venture between the Pro-Bear Lobby and the growing tide of homosexual men. While the Lobby and the Gay Bears, or GB's, often work in conjunction with each other to overturn and subvert America's goals of freedom for everyone who isn't gay, a bear, or a gay bear, they are their own entities that function autonomously from one another.

The GB agenda consists of not only overthrowing American culture as we know it, but humanity as well. To this end, the GB's have enlisted the help of Gaylamofascists to help attain their dream of an America where males can practice their iniquities not only in their dens, but at your son's Baptism. Is that what you want? Do you want your little boy around these vicious animals after he's been cleansed of sin? That's like a steak dinner to that crowd.


Gay Bears are overthrowing America with their rainbow colored weapons!

Gay Bears have insidiously forced their way into almost all levels of society, but unfortunately they aren't as easy to spot as your average gay. Do not look for the telltale swishy walk, neckerchiefs or waxed and exfoliated skin of regular gay men. Be on your guard for men who at first glance could pass for normal God loving (but not in a gay way) guys. They will be hairy and may be wearing either denim or leather. When they look at you, you will feel their eyes boring into your soul, owning you, making you theirs even if it's for the few seconds they have you locked into their deadlights. Gay Bears could be your Uncle Bill who lives alone and hasn't ever been married or they could be the guy standing next to you in the gym locker room asking you how well defined their ass looks. Yeah, it may look round and firm, and yeah, you could feast off it for days or even for a breakfast snack, like a Sunkist orange where you want to peel off that layer of underwear to get to the lush and ripe goodness that is their ass-fruit, but don't say that. You can't give compliments like that to Gay Bears as you would a straight guy because that sort of talk gets them excited for some reason.

Gay Bears can appear in all walks of life. Below are examples to help you to easily identify Gay Bears in the wild.

Examples of Gay Bears

Gay Bear Mechanic

He'd love to look under your hood and give you a tune up.

Gay Bear Naval Guy

A good rule of thumb: If it's male and in the Navy, it's probably a Gay Bear.

Gay Bear Policeman

He loves puckered buttholes. For reals.

Gay Bear Firefighter

Help put out the fire which burns within his loins and let him hose you...ok, you get it, you get it, we all get it, that's great.

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