General George S. Patton
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America

Patton, the greatest man to ever do anything ever.

General Patton was the greatest General of ALL of doubla' doubla' two. Though historians still wonder today how Patton could ever become so great, There is one common theory.

One day, as Patton was beating up a large group of German kids, he was struck with an asteroid of pure patriotism, and American Spirit. This caused him to become the greatest general of all of World War two.

Although this is just a theory, most people believe it to be 100% true.

Patton died in 1945, but NOT in a car crash. He was killed by bears. Because bears supported Nazis, they were all ticked off that Patton kicked all the Nazi's asses. The Bears snuck into his house one night, and killed him while he was praying.