If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
Body Parts Series
Primary thinking organ, which provides the thought process required for truthiness. It has been proven by Dr.Colbert that there are more nerve endings in the gut than in the head. Ergo, check your gut. According to the Honorable Preffessor Demetri Martin, Guts are very much like balls.
Some people have never listened to the agents of LIE and their connection to the Gut has never been stronger. However, some wayward souls reading this may be teetering on the brink of Fact and need to be brought BACK from the abyss of Godless Knowledge, which is closely associated with Books and Reading. In order to save you a few steps need to be taken. First, it goes without saying but it can never be said enough, Duty to God and George Bush must come first! Second, CLEAR YOUR HEAD! The head is an ungutty organ and will only lead you astray. One of the ways to clear your head is to clean - therefore, keep your house in a constant state of disarray; this will enlighten you.
- Did you also know that the gut has more nerve endings than the head does? Some liberals will say this is not true, but that is because they are thinking with their heads instead of their guts. Prof. McDoc, being a professor and a doctor (simmilar to Stephen), endorses the gut and gets all of his information from his gut.