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Hispanics are a typically light brown complected people originating from Central and South Americas, but notedly have a tendency to migrate north due to an inborn genetic chemical imbalance of their equilibrium. Hispanics have many admirable qualities, making them a key component to the kickassity that is the clenched iron fist of the God-loved American Empire. They excel in any form of menial task or feudalistic drudgery, have a high tolerance for alcoholic consumption, and maintain the delicate balance of the unregistered pharmaceutical trade partnerships both in country and abroad.

Here we see the typical Hispanic male. Note his overtly aggressive display of machismo.


Hispanics are a generally tight-knit association of individuals and are well known for there progressive venturing in the experimental boundaries of individual-to-space ratio, challenging the preset limitations of maximum occupancy in both the domestic and automotive frontiers. They also love tacos, white women, vintage land-cruisers (often adorned with fuzzy, shiny, or religious peripherals), yard sales, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (the playful, informal moniker Holmes being incorporated often in their native tongue of Hispanish), shooting, salsa, white women, stabbing, and white women.


All Hispanics are exclusively Catholic. However, their sect deviates from main-stream catholithism; notably with the inclusion of the following saints:

  • El Chupacabra: The Patron Saint of Goat Sucking. Wherever a goat is being sucked, the spirit of El Chupacabra is believed to be present.
  • The Taco Bell Chihuahua: The Patron Saint of Minimum Wage.
  • Speedy Gonzales/Slowpoke Rodriguez: The Veritable Romulus and Remus of the Hispanic denomination. Patron saints of Methamphetamine/Marijuana, respectively.
  • Tony Montana: The Patron Saint of Cocaine.
  • Daddy Yankee.
  • El Kabong: The Patron Saint of Vigilante Justice. "As surely as I live, when I sharpen my flashing sword and begin to carry out justice, I will bring vengeance on my enemies and repay those who hate me. I will make my arrows drunk with blood, and my sword will devour flesh – the blood of the slaughtered and the captives, and the heads of the enemy leaders."-Deuteronomy 32:40-41 "Why, that's not a guitar Baba Looey, that's my kabonger". -El Kabong