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I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby
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He's guilty. Of creeping Stephen out.

I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby (former Federal Bureau of Prisons Inmate# 28301-016) is the former Chief of Staff for Vice President Dick Cheney. He was widely considered to be Cheney's alter-ego, which, if true, would make him a friendly young liberal. Some think of him as a martyr. He was not a martyr until he was convicted - after which he was just a fall guy. Now that his harsh sentence has been gloriously commuted by The Greatest President Ever he is a free man, marked forever by the incessant clamoring of the Democrat Party.

Libby is the author of The Apprentice - a terrific book... if you like bear-rape. Or Donald Trump.

Mr. Libby is known for his amazing ability to forget everything!


Excerpts From The ApprenticeEdit

"At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls, so the girls would be frigid... They fed her through the bars, and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest. Groups of men paid to watch."

This book must be kept out of the paws of bears—they're already after our berries and our pic-a-nic baskets. We don't want them coming after our women.


I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby
composed at least one non-audiobook book.

"Maybe you should report the strangers."
"Some thought we should. There was a girl raped just before the storm. But we discovered it was a fox-spirit that raped her. Someone even saw the fox-spirit. It had taken the form of a man. She's not right yet, but that is common with such things."

This book must also be kept out of the hands of people who don't fully appreciate the Fox spirit.

"He asked if they should fuck the deer."

Deer must not read this book either.

Innocent Edit


The smiley face makes it legal.

I. "Scooter" Lewis Libby has no memory of having anything to do with the following.

  • Revealing Valerie Plame's identity at the behest of my former boss, Dick Cheney.
  • Helping my former boss Dick Cheney get even with Joseph Wilson for disagreeing with what we in the White House never referred to as "selling the product of war" to the American public.
  • Placing phone calls to numerous news organizations threatening to destroy their advertising business with lists of companies who would pull their advertising from the airwaves for reporting on the findings of Joseph Wilson.



Don't forget to watch the upcoming Scooter movie!

Liberals Who Hate AmericaEdit

Liberals who hate America held their own kangaroo court and a gay men's chorus "found" (like they already didn't believe it before they started) Mr. Libby 'guilty.'

They charged this great American with 5 counts of miscellaneous bullsh*t.

And after 9 days of smoking pot and gay sex orgies, the 6 women, 2 men and 3 "others" on the jury claimed Mr. Libby was "guilty" of Count 1, Count 2, Count 4 and Count 5.

Somehow, the liberals said Mr. Libby was not guilty on count 3 (misleading FBI agents about statements to Matt Cooper).


Stephen was able to sift through all the mud and lies from liberal facts: Libby is like Jesus.

  1. both were tried and convicted during Lent
  2. Libby was betrayed by Judas Russert
  3. Libby used parables to teach lessons (see "Excerpts From The Apprentice" above)


  • 30 months, 2 years probation after prison term
  • fines of only $250,000 in total
  • will be allowed to remain free during appeal
  • OJ Simpson and Robert Blake have vowed to establish a legal defense fund to help find the real leaker(s)


On July 2, 2007, The Greatest President Ever commuted Libby's sentence, setting him gloriously free, like Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea for the Israelites to pass through.

Proof of How Much Scooter's Friends Love HimEdit


See AlsoEdit

External LinksEdit

Yer doin' a heckuva job,
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