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IPhone was a Featured Word on 08/20/07.
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The correct title of this article is iPhone. The initial letter is shown capitalized because it scares away Bears.
If you don't already have an
your parents never loved you!
Is an essential component of's Internets Tube for Nerds

iPhone likes to be petted.

The first person who bought an iPhone immediately shipped it to Stephen Colbert, faster than a AJAX standards-compliant XML page.

iPhone: You Need One


The iPhone is the most significant communication device that has ever or will ever be created. This device can be used as a phone, internets web browser, email, GPS, Organizer, Vibrator, Phaser, Universal Remote Control, Hair Dryer, teleportation device, fish scaler, and hand grenade. All-in-one. Special attachments and software enable the iPhone to heal lepers, track down stolen cars, and banish Lords of Darkness (See: Bill Gates) Basically, it's like Jesus has come back, but he's a phone now....

iPhone: History of a Technological Revolution

AT&T (creators of the DeathStar) and Apple, Inc developed the iPhones for a target audience of über geeks, hipsters, and financially irresponsible lottery winners.

Next year, Congress will introduce legislation requiring iPhones for all Americans. The next generation iPhones will come with a biometric function and be keyed to the user's DNA. When the crystal on the iPhone turns black either from the user exceeding the age limit of 30 or low battery, the user must report to the nearest iPhone center (called Carousel) for replacement. You can also use it as a boomerang... only when you "hack" it with the DownUnder jailbreak...

iPhone: How It Works

So what actually makes the iPhone work? Some people say that Steve Jobs has actually managed to harness Colbert's greatness in energy form and has somehow made that the power source of the iPhone. If that's true, then Hallelujah! The iPhone will never go dead, and that means that the Commies lose. Somehow.

Also, when you press "Phone" and "Internet" buttons at the same time, it turns into a taser.Episode #285

iPhone: Marketing

iPhone has turned Steve Jobs into Darth Vader a God!

Some people have called the iPhone the "God Machine," but everyone knows there is only one God Machine. However, Stephen Colbert was willing to license the name The God Machine™ to Steve Jobs for the low low price of a free iPhone, or for a beta version of Apple's Time Machine.

Coming soon from Apple: iEye, iCar, iSpouse, iJob, iBeer, iHouse, iGod, iNetwork, iFood, and iFriend.

iPhone: The Musical

From the New York Times

  • pay homage to the advertising gods first
  • volume up
  • click the full screen button for effect

iPhone: The Musical

Little known fact(s)

IPhone Hater!
  • your iPhone can kill you'
  • Stephen's ringtone is the 'Sex in The City theme song'
  • it takes 12,809 licks to get to the center of an iPhoneEpisode #550

Private message for Steve Jobs's eyes only

Since you gave Stephen an iPhone, the iPhone is selling like the iPod. Thanks for giving Stephen an iPhone, Steve.

The Bill


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