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Despite what you may have heard
Jeff Gannon
Is totally not gay!
Jeff Gannon1

The only member of the Press Corp not going to Hell.

Jeff Gannon was the only member of the White House Press Corps with any amount of respectability. During his time at the White House, Jeff made it his responsibility to counteract the malignant characterizations put forth by such journalists as David Gregory and Helen Thomas about the Greatest Administration. Jeff's was the only sane and rational voice rising from the din of the vipers nest of the press corp. In return, his "colleagues" maliciously slandered Jeff by claiming he wasn't a real journalist, and that he got his job because of cronyism. The most distasteful and untrue charge of all was that Jeff was a gay, due to the false evidence that he was a gay whore named James Guckert.

The charge levelled against Jeff about whether he was a real journalist without an ounce of credibility would be a characterization of the pot calling the kettle black, considering the source. Even if Jeff were not a real journalist, he was still able to perform the job better than anyone else. Jeff used his gut to spread the truthiness of George W. Bush's administration.

When Press Secretary Scott McClellan resigned, Jeff realized he could no longer go on without his B.F.F., so he decided to leave his position and the rest of the Blame America Firsters to their own devices. In parting, he said he would write his memoirs, "Coming Together: My Time With Scott McClellan."

Currently, Jeff is continuing his trailblazing reporting, exposing the gay Democratic activists responsible for preventing Republicans from being able to cover up the Mark Foley page scandal. Template:FoK

Ace Reporter Jeff Gannon Asks The Tough QuestionsEdit

Gannon model

A 2003 photo of Gannon, posing for sculptor Mark Foley.

  • "Is this another piece of evidence showing the direct terror ties between Iraq and Al Qaeda?"
  • "How damaging was the revelation of the deepest mole that we've ever had in al Qaeda? The publication of that man's name by The New York Times — how damaging is that to our war on terror?"
  • "Doesn't [former Ambassador] Joe Wilson owe the President and America an apology?"
  • "Why hasn't the administration made more of the U.N. inspectors' report that says Saddam Hussein was dismantling his missile and WMD sites before and during the war? And doesn't that, combined with the now-proven al Qaeda link between Iraq — between Saddam Hussein and the terrorist organization — unequivocally make the case for going to war in Iraq?"
  • "Since there have been so many questions about what the President was doing over 30 years ago, what is it that he did after his honorable discharge from the National Guard? Did he make speeches alongside Jane Fonda, denouncing America's racist war in Vietnam? Did he testify before Congress that American troops committed war crimes in Vietnam? And did he throw somebody else's medals at the White House to protest a war America was still fighting? What was he doing after he was honorably discharged?"
  • "Scott, when you talk about the unemployment — or the jobs being created, is that based on the payroll survey, or the household survey? Because there's — because of the tax cuts, there's been a tremendous increase in the number of entrepreneurs that have started their own businesses, and those numbers aren't reflected in the payroll survey."
  • "Do you see any hypocrisy in the controversy about the President's mention of 9/11 in his ads, when Democratic icon Franklin Delano Roosevelt's campaign issued this button, that says, 'Remember Pearl Harbor'? I have a visual aid for folks watching at home."
  • "Senate Democratic leaders have painted a very bleak picture of the U.S. economy. Harry Reid was talking about soup lines. And Hillary Clinton was talking about the economy being on the verge of collapse. Yet in the same breath they say that Social Security is rock solid and there's no crisis there. How are you going to work — you've said you are going to reach out to these people — how are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?"
  • "Are you a pitcher or a catcher?"

See AlsoEdit

External SourcesEdit

I am Jeff Gannon and my lawyer swears I'm not a
Jeff Gannon
is a Truthiness Crusader!
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