Liberals (officially Terro-liberal communist non-American) are what is wrong with America. They eat tofu and read the New York Times. They drive Priuses and belong to groups like PETA and the Sierra Club. They would rather save a spotted owl than provide good, honest, hard-working Americans with the oil they need to fuel their SUVs. SUVs which they need to drive to little Tommy's soccer practice down the street where they can sit with mom and enjoy a beer and apple pie.
Liberal trivia[edit | edit source]
- Liberals created minimum wage slavery.
- Liberals are PRO cancer
- Liberals are single-handedly responsible for the sale of every Dixie Chicks album. (Just ask Toby Keith.)
- Do not put them in sunlight, do not get them wet, do not feed them after midnight.
- Liberals like to let it all hang out at nude beaches. You don't want to see a nude liberal.
- Liberals have been known to chain themselves to trees in the Pacific Northwest. They do this knowing the pact they have made with the godless bears guarantees their safety.
- Liberals eat children when they're all out of carrots to munch on. The NGB.
- Liberals condone satanism, they also started the Swedish black metal movement
- Liberals prefer to live on either the East Coast or West Coast in Ivory Towers
- Liberals are all Socialist/communists. They are taking orders from the defunct USSR's underground revival movement as we speak. They've often been seen posting propaganda posters, as well as branding the hammer and sickle onto the foreheads of small children.
- Liberals hate wars because they aren't manly or strong enough to fight in them because all they do is eat "veggies" and not raw meat, like real humans.
- Liberals also Hate the Baby Jesus and have no respect or tolerance for Juedeo Christian religions. They do, however love Islam.
- liberals are the ones who killed Jesus.
- Liberals also make false versions of the Holy Bible.
- Liberals are allied with Frosty the snowman
- Liberals support abortion/murder.
- Liberals exist outside Creation, as a part of an insipid scheme of the devil.
- Terro-liberal communist non-American is the offical name for liberals. However, most people just call them liberals for short.
- Liberals are atheists/God hateists or agnostics. Agnostics are just confused about the whole God idea. They are just as evil as atheists.
- Liberals like foreign movies that don't have explosions, CGI, and excessive budgets. These movies are characterized by "good acting, good stories, good cinematography, and talent," but these elements are baseless as they are concocted by liberals. Give me Top Gun any day over any movie whose director's name exceeds four syllables.
- Liberals also come in other disguises such as, non-partisan voters, and other "independents." As you can see, true Americans are actually about 10% of America's population, based on my gut's scientific assessment.
- Liberals watch Comedy Central only to make fun of Real Americans, because they suffer from low self-esteem and necrophiliac urges. It was only when our Dear Leader interfered that The Colbert Report joined the god-hating network to give Liberals a more balanced view.
- Liberals forward the bear agenda.
- Liberals are heavy masturbators. They love Californication, the song by hippie satanists and the show with that Fox-suing David Duchovny, especially watching. Liberals are big time voyeurs.
- Liberals love their weed and porn
The Word[edit | edit source]
Liberals are the seed of satan. They have black hearts and will LOVE being 'reeducated' in pseudo-communist detainment camps where they will dine on gruel and get off on being debased, as their godless doctrine dictates.
- Real Americans dont drive sissified cars. Real Americans drive luxury cars that are foreign made and outsourced to our Chinese Masters that are contributing to the Global Economy, which will soon bring those dollars back to us in the form of a loan, thus completing the Circle of the Free Market
- There is no difference between abortion and murder