Dead bear
is a member of the Bear Hunters of America.
Be Scared, Bears.



Lost is a popular science fiction/action/adventure/romance/drama on ABC. It airs on Wednesdays and is filmed only in America. The best goddamn show in world history!! It is very educational and actually includes books and numbers and references to Star Wars all while teaching us the dangers of plane crashes. Are you listening, Osama?

Dangerous ThemesEdit


One of the many polar bears on the show "Lost".


This show is very nearly un-Colbert because it features polar bears in their first episode, and they continue to star in many of the episodes. Bears are evil, polar bears are evil, and it's just lucky that Lost remembered to take care of this problem. The survivors, (all Republican except for Boone), either kill or mortally wound every polar bear they encounter. Ha!


Lost also sometimes promotes Communist values- those Others and their freaky little commune... Lost does later assess this pinko scare though, as the survivors of the plane crash, (Desmond was lying—obviously terrorists crashed this plane) realize that not only are the Others smelly, but they are also Hippies, and so they have their biggest, jolliest American Hurley kill them all with a genuine American Volkswagen Van, that apparently runs on hopes and dreams, not gasoline. Take that, foreign oil!

Important CharactersEdit

Lost features many characters. Lost has so many characters, actually, that even the show's producers have lost count. They got lucky, though, when the show's best character, the chubby American Hurley, found the plane's flight manifest and checked the camp for potential terrorists or hippies.

Some characters are un-american. There is an Australian girl who had a baby unmarried, an Iraqistani man who has come to the American survivors rescue more than once, (go that one Iraqistani guy!), and an English rock star who sacrificed himself for the rescue of his friends. That's how all Americans do things.

This show also features actors who portray the opposite gender, or canine cross-dressers. The American Lab master dog from Australia, Vincent, is a male dog portrayed by a little girly dog who can act better than any of the cast on Heroes.

Because of its sloppy lineup of characters, Lost has become one of the most successful shows on TV.


Lost: Alternative Real Ending

In very much the same way Jesus taught the stupid people of Biblical Times through the creative application of parables, writer/producer/$cientologist/New Hollywood adherent J.J. Abrams has given stupid people of modern times their very own parable in Lost.

  • the plane crash symbolizes the attacks on September 11th.
  • the isolation on the island represents America's lone war on terror
  • the people on the island represent the Coalition of the Willing
  • the jungle is the chaos of liberalism
  • the Man in Black is a cloud of smoke and wants to sink the Island, representing America the Beautiful. HUSSEIN Obama smokes and wants to destroy America. Coincidence????

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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