|Get your hands off of me your damn dirty ape|
|~ The Holy Bible, Moses. 6000 BC|
Who is Moses?[edit | edit source]
What Moses Does in His Free Time[edit | edit source]
After having his scotch, Moses will periodically part different bodies of water and do random "acts of God" just to screw with the population. (No one ever said that God didn't have a sense of humor.) How ever God frowns upon this from time to time because the Jews can be bad people (as witnessed in the bible) and do the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.
Moses also enjoys playing a spot of basketball, he's the really old guy that whips the young boys asses on the court and then promptly laughs as he takes their money. He will also randomly appear as a homeless man asking for food, by the way if you don't feed him you will be condemned to burn in hell for the rest of all eternity after dying a gruesome and painful death by being beaten to death by a Democrat.
History[edit | edit source]
Moses was born as an Egyptian slave to poor Jews. Since his parents knew that being Jewish sucked, they stuck him in a small boat and tried to drown him. Luckily for him, an Egyptian princess found this child and decided to raise him on her own. (Back then, no one questioned women who never looked pregnant but suddenly had children.) One day, his Jewish mother told his Egyptian mother that Moses was Jewish. This pissed Moses off so he killed an Egyptian. He then fled into the desert where he spoke with a burning bush and freed the Jews.