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Mountain Dew
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
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The color of Mountain Dew cannot be found in nature. It is one of the colors used in the Color Codes for Terror and Alarm

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Whenever I drink a Mountain Dew I parachute out of a biplane, land on a snowboard and jump over an alligator pit.
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~ Stephen Colbert, May 2, 2006

Mountain Dew contains pure unfiltered Truthiness. If you are ever not feeling well, and need an extra shot of Truthiness to get you through your day, go get yourself as much Mountain Dew as possible, and chug, chug, chug! Mountain Dew is not a drug, so don't say no, just chug! It ain't no drug !

Many believe you should drink coffee to get through the day. However, that beverage has been corrupted by hippies and liberals, who put tons of creamer in it. Many of these so-called human beings drink the cream-tainted liquid death while reading evil books at an Ivy-league school library, or drink it while they hang out at Starbucks and discuss liberal nonsense while wearing their pretentious uppity clothes. To top it off, most bookstores now sell coffee, so people can drink it, while more evil books! Probably books written by that moron Noam Chomsky, no doubt.

This cream-tainted form of Coffee and truthiness are exact opposites. It sucks the truthiness out of you, as it gives you the urge to read books and study things

If you want a kick of truthiness, Mountain Dew is the only way to go.

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