Narlboro Brand Cigarettes
is available for purchase
from and for the benefit of Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.

Delicious, off-brand smokes enhanced with 10% more nicotine and made environmentally friendly through the use of other full, rich-tasting, and smooth cigarettes (that may have been used). It's a proven fact that fine tobacco products make their user better in every way. Anybody who says different is wrong. They are wrong, gay, and stupid!!!!!!!

Delicious Class A Cigarettes!

Cigarette Facts![edit | edit source]

Cigarettes improve skin and help you look young.

  • Make the smoker infinitely cooler.
  • Stimulates areas of the brain that anable the smoker to use ten to twenty % more of their brain function.
  • Are absolutely delicious!!
  • Smell like a little piece o' heaven.
  • Are recommended to athletes by experts.
  • Are proven to repel homosexuals who are obviously preoccupied with your penis!
  • Are looked down upon by filthy, idiotic foreigners.
  • Cause cancer for sure. But what doesn't cause something, huh?
  • Do not cause AIDS unlike fagism and born blackeosis.
  • Nobody ever quits cigarettes, cigarettes quit nobodies.
  • Tek Jansen has discovered their restorative properties, stemming from their ability to line the delicate tissues of the throat, esophagus and lungs with a soothing medicinal tar like substance, thereby strengthening them against the dangers of every day life. The process has been described as akin to "wearing a suit of armor on the inside."
  • Makes your teeth brighter and freshens breath.
  • Protects from dangerous situations and death by putting the smoker on Gods list of lucky smokers.

Snakes won't mess with this smoker!

Peter wanted to smoke Narlboros, but ABC wouldn't let him

External Sources[edit | edit source]

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