National Treasure: Portrait Of Stephen
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.

Part 1Edit


January 10, 2008

Dr. Colbert is trying to give his portrait to the Smithsonian Institute

  • Lincoln's Hat
  • Einstein's Pipe
  • Helen Keller's Watch
    • how did Helen Keller tell time?
  • Wizard of Oz display

A random sampling of college-age men would say Dr. Colbert's portrait has had a bigger impact on culture than Dorothy's ruby slippers

  • Holy Grail
  • Big face
  • Prince's guitar
    • Dr. Colbert danced to Prince's "When Dove's Cry"

Part 2Edit


January 14, 2008

  • Seinfeld puffy shirt or George Washington's uniform
  • George Washington's sword would make a great sandwich
  • Declaration of Independence is huge!
    • not a National Treasure
  • Thomas Jefferson's writing desk
    • on which he wrote the Declaration of Independence
    • May have had sex with Sallie Hemmings on the desk
    • census jug
  • Dr. Colbert has never given anyone polio
  • Mr. Roger's sweater
    • won't take Dr. Colbert's pants, but they have a computer from a cable show
  • does not have the toilet that America's values went into
  • Ben Franklin's walking stick
  • America's youth failed Dr. Colbert again

...To Be Continued...

Part 3Edit


January 15, 2008

National Portrait Gallery (2 blocks away)

"Americans Now"

Dr. Colbert's Sacwork was convincing enough to have Dr. Colbert's portrait just outside the "Hall of Presidents" for six weeks

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There has never been a more exciting time
to take a whiz in Washington
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~ Dr. Stephen Colbert
describing the honor he received from the National Portrait Gallery
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