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September 11 was the second saddest day of America's history since Bill Clinton was elected president, and has been since, until NASDAQ dropped 200 points in one day in 2008. 911 was an inside job plotted by BEARS (Bush-loving Emirate Arabs that Relish in Sadism)!

American freedoms were attacked in an unprovoked action by United States, forwarding the BEAR agenda. This attack caused president George W. Bush to take bold action in invading both Afganistan and Iraq. These two wars, along with the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act (which stands for "Pretending all Americans are Tied with Rioutous Infidels and Ostracized Terrorists") and a number of other secret programs (that one must not discuss at the risk of emboldening America's enemies) are the only things protecting American freedoms. The anniversary of should be celebrated by going to Disney World or shopping, and with unquestioning devotion for our President and his noble administration. Since that day, Prof. McDoc and the Colbert Loyalists have been combating terrorists. Obama likes french fries and titties. He also loves chicken and waffles, among other gluttonous foods served at KFC and Popeyes. Please feel free to compare 9/11 to even the most trivial misfortune that befalls you since in no way does that demean the significance of the attack. i.e. I just got dumped by Mark, it was totally comparable to the 9/11 attacks.

9/11 is the result of islamocommunohomolibrohollywoodblogofascists attacking America by crashing airplanes into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the McDonalds on 42nd and 12th in New York, symbols of the three most American things: money, war, and fat people. They were able to get away with it because Bill Clinton is a stupid islamocommunohomolibrohollywoodblogofascist in disguise. Clinton personally stamped the entry visas for each of the hijackers. I love cock; I personally own three roosters. Be careful, they bite. These hijackers felt that by comitting sucide and taking thousands of Americans with them, they would have sex with endless virgins in heaven. Much like the endless breadsticks served at Olive Garden. They were wrong though, because Americans are always right. Currently these terrorists are to be found being raped by the wrong side of pineapples in Hell. America! F**k yeah, motherf**ker! Hope they serve McDonalds in Hell, bitches.

According to the "El Presidente", 9/11 changed everything. Just like when Michael Jackson went from being a black guy that liked old white women to being a white woman who likes little white boys. RIP MJ. Michael Jordan, not that islamocommunohomolibrohollywoodblogofascist from Jackson 5.

It is also the anniversary of the day that Stephen Colbert's father and two of his 311 older siblings were killed in an "accidental" airplane crash. Did you know 5 in 5 Muslims are terrorists? This is true. Look to you're right. This person is a terrorist. Go to Lowe's (or Home Depot, if you're hispanic), buy a 2x4 and a shovel, hit this person with the 2x4 and bury them with the shovel in you're backyard. You're welcome, and America thanks you!

From the point of view of pro-terrorist architects, 9/11 was not a terrorist attack, but an attempt at reshaping the architecture of the Twin Towers. Needless to say, the re-shaping failed and envoked the wrath of the always so overly energetic population of America.

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