Dr. Noelle Bush wrote a prescription for

There's plenty more where that came from...

Baby Jesus.jpg
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!

Oil comes to America via oil tankers like the one pictured

Oil is our big black friend. It is a noble substance made from 5000 year-dead dinosaurs that makes everyone's Hummer go. There is a never ending supply of it so enjoy as much of it as you like, most of which is located in Alaska

Oil is also better than blood. Blood does not burn as well. Which is why it is perfectly logical to exchange blood for oil.

It is a well-known fact that Jesus and God decided to give the Middle-Eastern people oil after seeing how much better America is than these towel-headed people.

Oil also causes immense pressures to build up underground which can only be relieved by oil industry drilling. If not for this drilling, the Earth might unexpectedly explode. Oil companies are saving the planet every day, unlike tree-hugging solar power proponents who merely talk about saving the planet.

Recently, the gayest form of lettuce, Arugula was discovered to be vulnerable to oil. As the destructive capacity of gay is unquestioned, this can only be even more good news with regards to our best black friend since Samuel L. Jackson.

See Also

If we run out of oil, lets just drill more then

E85 Ethanol

External Tubes