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Prescott Pharmaceuticals
is brought to you by The Prescott Group


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The last word in medicine, because Prescott is often, literally, our patients' last word.


Ask your doctor if Vaxadrone™ is right for you. And if he says no, see another doctor.

Prescotts new generic drug.


"Remember, if it's childproof, it's not Prescott!™"Episode #300

Prescott Pharmaceuticals is a division of The Prescott Group, and the makers of Vaxadrin, Vaxadrine, Vaxadrone (coming soon: Vaxadrone for baboons), Vaxa-Smacks, Vaxa-Dream, Vaxadril, Vaxachub, Vaxascab, Vaxasom, Vaxamaxx, Vaxamamm,Vaxacrest,Atomo Kleen, Drug, Liquid Launch, Vaxadoodle, "The first dog surgeon", Vaxaconda, Vacsaband, Ablibalify, and Vaxamalgum.

Prescott Pharmaceuticals is a proud sponsor of Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A..

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Prescott Pharmaceuticals:
guaranteed to change your life,
and possibly your genetic code.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.


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Prescott Pharmaceuticals:
The tingling tells you it's working,
the class action lawsuit tells you it's Prescott.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.


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Prescott Pharmaceuticals:
Good for what ails you.
And in some cases, actually what ails you.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.



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Prescott Pharmaceuticals:
We sincerely apologize
about that whole zombie thing.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.


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Prescott Pharmaceuticals:
You probably went blind
even without our products.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.


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Prescott Pharmaceuticals:
where you're a customer for life, no matter how short that will be.
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~ Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.


The Prescott Promise™

The Prescott Promise™ is the promise from Prescott PharmaceuticalsEpisode #300:

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We never test on animals, or anything else©
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~ Prescott Phamaceuticals



Template:If you have a problem, we have a pill for that. If you don't have a problem, we have a pill for that too!

Personal Testimonials

"I trust Prescott! I wanted to regrow my hair and IT WORKED! Just not where I wanted it, like on my head but now I can braid my genitals! HOW COOL IS THAT?!"

"My skin was blotchy in a very *sensitive* area. Thanks to Prescott, I no longer have to worry about 'down there.' Because I no longer have legs or an abdomen." -- Mary Plumber

"I'm Steven Colbert, and I have personally taken every drug offered by Prescott Pharmaceuticals. Honestly, I take them everyday before my show. To be even more truthful, it is because of pressure from the media. But, I am a capitalist, and they pay me upfront. So, I can bury my moral opinions in piles of cash. The drugs, however, have allowed me to see clearly and would like to share that the Illinois of University at Champana-Urbain is better than my alma mater, North-ish Westward University–and also that school I often talk about–Duntmouth. PS: I'm not Colbert, but it would be cool if I was.. oh wait.. I think Prescott has a pill for that!" -PJS

VAXA Product Line

Due to pending lawsuits from VÄXA, Prescott Pharmaceuticals will discontinue their VAXA products... But not everything is bad news, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. is proud to announce that Prescott Pharmaceuticals is proud to introduce their VACSA product line!

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