Despite what you may have heard
Rand Paul
Is totally not racist!
Rand Paul
is a Truthiness Crusader!
Rand Paul is a reknowned Tea Bagger
and won't stop tea bagging
until all Americans are Tea Bagging together!

Rand Paul was clone in a libertarian cloning facility on a project known as "Mini-me", she was suppose to be born as a healthy baby girl and to be originally be named Ayn Rand Paul but instead they got this freak of nature he was born as a healthy libertarian boy with the free market blessed spirit of his father.

The EconomyEdit

Rand Paul on WVLK-590 Sue Wylie Show 6-18-2010 Part 2 of 4

Rand Paul on WVLK-590 Sue Wylie Show 6-18-2010 Part 2 of 4

Rand Paul's Plan to Save Our Economy

The EnvironmentEdit

Small GovernmentEdit

Everyone knows that government cant do anything right and a bigger government is the #2 greatest threat against the free market, which is why he supports the patriotic forces known as the 9/11 truthers to stop the Bush's Administration Obama's Administration from turning us all commie hippies. Once The Free Market is in Power it will Fix all of our Problems!

The Shut Down of Government:[1]

HELL YEAH! Now, now... we shouldnt be having this kind of talk.

Tax CutsEdit

Rand Paul will generously return our money back to us, since the Government has no authority to steal from us!

Cutting Defense SpendingEdit

Rand Paul demands Republicans to pledge on reducing defense spending which will save America a lot of money... but will leave us defenseless against The Mooslim threat!!! What the hell are you smoking, Rand? Do you want Al-Qaeda to win??!!

Death to Earmarks!Edit

Congressional Earmarks are just a libural conspiracy to steal tax payers' money and Tea Baggers have demanded the end of this communist policy. Rand Paul has promised he will help us abolish this insidious practice Kentucky to get a share of that free money! Hey, guys! Is free money!!!!!

You have to be crazy to refuse to take a pile of free money for nothing!

Medicare & MedicaidEdit

He is against the Libural Welfare Program that promotes entitlements and laziness

On SocietyEdit

According with Rand Paul, the Free Market is the guiding force of our lives and if the Free Market wants to discriminate against non-white people then who are we to question the Almighty Free Market?

The EconomyEdit

Rand Paul will employ a radical way to restore our economy. He will eliminate all mention of classes from our dictionary, that way we can end class warfare.


More and more babies are being born from Welfare Queens and these mini-leaches are stealing from the pockets of the tax payers! But not anymore, Rand will support a bill that will eliminate this insidious loophole so these Welfare Toddlers will stop from suckling from the tit of the Federal Government.

Rand proposes a great plan from stopping illegals, an underground electric fence. They will never see it coming!

Restoration of The ConstitutionEdit

Rand Paul has promised to restore the Constitution back to it's roots and he will do so from the gut. He doesn't need to know what's written on it, he believes he knows whats written on it, and that is Truthiness at its finest.

Freedom of SpeechEdit

Rand Paul knows that freedom of speech is sacred to Americans. Even best, the adult variety of Freedom is very sacrosanct.

The 1924 Indian Citizenship ActEdit

Thats right, Rand Paul wants to Eliminate this libural law so we can send those Injuns back to China.

Foreign PolicyEdit

Foreign MoneyEdit

Foreign Money is still free money... unless it is Muslim Money

Policing teh Series of TubesEdit

Because you dont want to...

Anti-Hitler StanceEdit

Rand Paul says that he does not support Hitler and that he will work hard to make sure Hitler never comes to America.


Rand Paul will eliminate edjukashun in America as it is evident that it is the #1 cause of gayness and hotmosexuality.


On his defense, "Aqua Buddha" was Jesus nickname in College

Some say he can't be a Christian since he's a libertarian. That's a lie! He believes in a Deity and his name is "Aqua Buddha" Jesus!

Update: Rand Paul: "I am Aqua Buddha"

His FollowersEdit

Like his namesake Ayn Rand, RAND PAUL! has the charisma to attract followers supporters who are more genetically, economically, and culturally superior to the supporters minions of his opponent (who probably didn't even get Atlas Shrugged).

Some of his followers even have libertarian names like Tim Profitt, you cant get a more libertarian name than that!


As you probably know there was a recent incident involving a Ran Paul supporter/Campaign Coordinator and a liberal woman from Suffice to say the scandal involved the stomping of the liberal woman and Tim Proffitt (supporter/Campaign Coordinator).

We are expecting an apology.

Did you hear that Missy? Tim Profitt's boots got stains on it and the stains just wont go away. We tried bleach but it just wont come out! We suspect the stains are your liberal blood! Shame on you, those are expensive boots! Apologize now!

You should be expecting a dry cleaning bill to arrive in the coming days.

Remember Ms. Lauren Valle, we have video proof and we are not above blackmail or public shaming.

Update IIEdit

Blackmail and public shaming it is then...

Update IIIEdit

Mr. Profitt has asked for police security, for he fears for his safety.

Update IVEdit

Mr. Profitt has been taken a secluded area to protect him against future attacks.

The AttackEdit

Mr. Profitt was safely escorted to court to testify how he was attacked and how he feared for his life. The defense showed sufficient evidence that Ms. Lauren Valle is a vicious leftist terrorist that threatened Mr. Profitt's life. For the coming months Mr. Profitt's lawyer will supply evidence supporting this claim. We noticed that many jurors were in tears when Mr. Profitt testified how terrified he was and had no choice but to stomp on his attacker. We predict Mr. Profitt will have justice!

2010 Campaign for SenateEdit

Campaign poster

Series of TubesEdit

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