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Republican
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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Republican
is an American Political Party.
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Republican
is a Truthiness Crusader!
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Shhh!
Republican is a Secret Republican.
But I'll Never Tell!


The Logo of the Republican Party, an Elephant, which does not mean the GOP supports big government.

The Republican Party is the best party to have ever existed. That's why it's called the GOP (Grand Old Party). Founded by Jesus Christ, it is a God-fearing, capitalist party. It is primarily composed of corporate executives, pastors, church-goers, heterosexuals, the white upper-middle class, and all sane freedom-loving peoples. There is a rumor circulating of a homosexual African-American Republican, but most agree that it is hearsay.

Synonymous with "Proud to be an American".

Republicans are also God's secret agents.



Main Republican Beliefs

Brainwashed_America
Excerpts from the 2004 Republican National Convention!
  1. The tablets are working.
  2. Dr Strangelove was right.
  3. Shoot first,
  4. George Bush is one and the same person. both of him
  5. Sarah Palin is both attractive, right, and intelligent.
  6. Bill Clinton, the worst president ever, was appointed by devil
  7. The right to own a twenty room mansion, three SUVs, a yacht, and a private jet, without having to pay taxes on them, is guaranteed in the Constitution.
  8. Illegal Aliens should be dealt with strictly, unless they are currently cleaning a Republican's house.
  9. While the television show, "The Simpsons" is rather stupid, their neighbor makes a rather lot of sense.
  10. Homeless people want to be homeless.
  11. باراك أوباما yes the Antichrist.
  12. Or Hillary Clinton
  13. The "D" next to a candidate's name means "Don't vote for me."
  14. Sex is immoral unless it's with your spouse, another woman, a homosexual in/near an airport, any Asian
  • the one that's NOT the same sex as you

Notable Things done by Republicans

  • Defeat the British
  • George Michael's Falatio,
  • Win World War II. All this FDR mumbo-jumbo is a conspiracy of the Liberal Media. Regean won the War.
  • Stop the unfair taxation of Billianore CEO's
  • Discover Hawaii
  • Built the Tahj Mahal
  • Killed Hitler
  • Distrust anything, everything, all of it, and the rest

Important Texts Supported by Jesus

See Also

Internets Sources


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