Republican Goddess of the week

Sarah Palin
is a Proud Republican Goddess
God Bless America
Sarah Palin
is a proud employee
of the Greatest Corporation of All--FOX!!!
Sarah Palin
Is an Uber Hottie and you are not! She makes The Baby Jesus stand at attention.
You may look, but do not touch. Unless Stephen Colbert has Nailed her first.

The Palin family's quaint cottage in Wasilla with the new anti-biographer fense.

Flag quote open clear2.gif
"We’re still waiting with bated breath for the big news: who will John McCain pick as his running mate. The Republican convention starts Monday and here he is at a rally just hanging out with some female supporter who I assume won some radio call-in contest. Is it Romney? Is it Pawlenty? Wait…she is?! Are you serious?! Who the f*ck is Sarah Palin? What? The sexy librarian?!"
Flag quote close clear2.gif
~ Colbert August 2008

Despite being a woman, Mrs. Todd Palin is a maverickess and great in 18 million ways. Some say Sarah's the greatest Governor since George W. Bush guided Texas. She has fought on the front lines of the bear wars and refused to give polar bears a free ride in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Also is a professional Maviratrix. The pride of Wasilla, Alaska‎, Mrs. Todd Palin has made her burgeoning metropolis proud!

She "accidentally" disclosed what Dr. Colbert had been told not to disclose: Where In The World And Where In Time Is Stephen Colbert Going To Be In The Persian Gulf?!

On November 4, 2008, Barack Hussein Obama cheated Sarah out of her divine right to change the nucular codes to her children's birthdays. But Sarah is too full of hot, steaming Alaska spirit to give up now! A few months later, she decided that finishing her term as Governess would only slow her down, and that she could best serve her bank account country by going to work for The Greatest News Channel Ever! [1]

Sarah Palin posing with an American flag. Russian land is visible through the window.

The Governess


Not surprisingly, as the third greatest living American, Mrs. Todd Palin is constantly bombarded with new honors and awards for her many great good deeds. Recent ones include:

Faith in Our Lord And Savior

Huntin' is fer chicks!

Sarah helping a lesbian find Jesus and avoid books in college.

Mrs. Todd Palin is a firm believer in America's Science. She also believes the government has the right to tell her what she should do with her filthy, filthy "Intelligently-Designed" vagina.

As a result, she has had four five babies, each a reflection of God's Love and her husband's use of cheap condoms.


  • Mary Glazier
  • Bishop Thomas Muthee
  • Witchcraft
  • Teen Pregnancy
  • The Earth is Flat
  • the pioneer spirit will guide her

Her Family

All of Sarah Palin's children have, at one time or another, asked her if they were adopted. After answering "no" each time, at least three of them asked her if they can please be put up for adoption.

The proud Todd Palin family. The daughter on the right is not pregnant with Sarah's fifth child.

The proud family after Mrs. Todd Palin gave birth to her fifth child. Not pictured: Mrs. Todd Palin's fifth child.

The proud Palin family when John McCain picked Mrs. Todd Palin to be his lawfully chosen running mate.

As the wife and mother in her family, Mrs. Todd Palin submits to her husband's natural urges resulting in four five children.

Her Children

Bristol as Juno.jpg

Being a strict Christian, Mrs. Todd Palin should have chosen names directly out of The Bible, but since her husband may have suffered some chromosomal damage due to his job, the kids' names are not exactly religious in fact they allude to the Palins belonging to an American ethnic subset.

But, they are colorful and add to her allure as a proper maverickess.

Sarah Goes Hockey Mom
Sarah Palin spots David Letterman at her kids Hockey game and prepares to go "Medieval on his ass."

Child's Name gender Origin
Track heterosexual son who for whatever reason has a gay name. Mrs. Todd Palin loves to run, so she named the first blessed event to blossom from her hoohah after her affection for the running sport
whore Bristol sinful whore daughter Mrs. Todd Palin was born in Bristol, Connecticut and never thinks about her life prior to moving to Alaska. She doesn't want to talk about anything having to do with that part of life because it's behind her now.
Willow virgin daughter Mrs. Todd Palin loves Willow trees and after she gave birth to her third child after a four year rest between the first two that popped out one right after the other
Piper virgin daughter Mrs. Palin named her precious fourth child after her husband's nickname at work. It is important to note that the Palin's were expecting a boy.

*A fifth Palin child was discovered after the printing of this internets tube, so it cannot be added into the table. The child's name is "Trig". He is named after the math teacher who got her daughter pregnant Mrs. Palin's favorite part of a gun: the trigger!

"Her" Fifth Child

Hey Ma!
Pack your banjo and chewin' t'backer, we fixin' to enjoy us some
Sarah Palin

Recently she had another of God's blessings thanks to the miracle of the missionary position.

This may in fact be the third immaculate conception (after Mary's and Keisha Castle-Hughes') since Todd Palin's wife was not showing the distended proof of God's Love for the first seven months of her pregnancy and hid the child's birth for 6 weeks after it's virgin birth!

Despite all the complications of hiding her daughter's her fifth pregnancy, she showed her true Christian love, by giving birth despite knowing the child was going to be retarded.

She did not get it on with a injun this is an outragious lie!

Defend the Intellectually Disabled

It's ok! It's satire!

Our future President has dedicated herself to getting the intellectually challenged special rights so that socialists can't take advantage of them:

Life and Career

Sarah Palin may be a broke college student, but at least she is not a liberal welfare college student

Sarah Palin grew up in the Valley. After bringing down big-porn, she joined Feminists For Life, moved to Alaska and pumped out 5 babies. Only Tek Jansen knows the exact time line of those events.

Between giving birth, holy missionary position impregnation, and visiting the nannies, she helped divert money from "endangered species" to fund Alaska's Republican war on the bearorists. She also sold the state jet to raise money for the Republicans and keep Al Gore from visiting.

Momentarily Sidetracked By The Lure Of The Stage

"They don't call me Jo SixPack for nothin'" Palin-muscle.JPG.jpeg

The President of The Republican States of America 2012.

Mother Of All Hockey


She is recognized worldwide as The Greatest Hockey Mom Ever as proven by the movie on the left.

Now imagine if you will a President Palin?

Women Who Have Inspired Her

Men Who Lust Love Her

Charitable Contributions

Relationship With Technology

Heretofore Unknown Battles With Vladimir Putin, Ruler Of The Cossacks And All Of Russia!

A poster seen in all Alaskan post offices reminding citizens to be vigilant of the threats to their air space.

In 2008, Katie Couric tortured Mrs. Todd Palin to disclose National Security secrets about the dire threat of Russians in Alaskan air space.

Prior to Couric's intelligence breach, Americans were able to sleep soundly at night, blissfully unaware that communists penetrated her air space.

Once CBS exposed the danger, Americans were initially and understandably frightened. But CBS and her liberal cohorts in the media did not anticipate the reaction Americas would have for Mrs. Todd Palin's clear and forceful response and her long history of protecting the lower 48 from the immediate threat Putin posed.

Apparently, The Taiwanese non-communist Chinese Love Her Too!

Our Chinese Masters want her for 2012

Preparing For The Presidency Vice Presidency

Please see her official web tube outlining her experience and where she stands on all the issues (here)

Mrs. Todd Palin greets well wishers at a rally!

NASA Oval Office Simulation

In order to fast-track her educationalness to the Oval Office, NASA engineers have developed an Oval Office Simulatorto help Mrs. Todd Palin prepare for her duties. Version 2.0 here.

Canuck Licence (Drive, Baby, Drive!)

Mrs. Todd Palin has kept her place within the boundaries of America (Alaska is apparently a state). But, now that she has been selected to replace McCain when he dies in office be vice president, Mrs. Todd Palin has applied for a Canadian drivers' license in order to make the GOP convention in Minneapolis.

Going Rogue

The Maveratrix Wants You!!

On October 28, 2008, Mrs. Todd Palin reached the zen state of Maverickness by Going Rogue. This spiritual Maverick milestone was achieved a full 86 days ahead of schedule, and is a testament to Mrs. Todd Palin's quicky Mavericky learning skills.

VP Endorsements

Hot 4 Hill 2 Palin!

Official Statement

Just two dudes hangin' out.

Todd Palin released this statement on behalf of his wife:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE No. 08-149 Governor Palin Releases Statement to Alaskans August 29, 2008, Anchorage, Alaska – Governor Sarah Palin today released the following statement to Alaskans: “It is the honor of my life to represent you as your Governor, and over the next two months I will continue to do so. As the mother of five, I know how to multi-task, and I will continue to promote the path of reform that we set out on together in the state of Alaska.” “It is a great privilege to be John McCain's running mate and to be considered by the American people for the Vice Presidency. This honor is a testament to the reforms and progress we have made together in Alaska. Now is the time to take that spirit of reform to Washington.”

Raw, unedited footage of Mrs. Todd Palin's first interview with Charles Gibson, who cut it up so liberally it made her look really, really bad.

What Makes Her Great!

  • her husband's love letters to her leaked by internets hacker!
  • she's white a normal American
  • she's a chick
  • she knows her place
  • she dresses proper for a workin' gal
  • she knows how to pretend to fight corruption
  • she has a gun
  • she speaks English
  • she feels science is overrated
  • she keep librarians and other book lovers in line
  • she's the right religion

The world according to Sarah Palin

  • she was in the freakin' PTA!
  • she was in the city council
  • she was 1 of 30,000 mayors in America
  • she can fight all the world's problems with energy policy
  • she's been governor since Obama started running for presidency
  • her exceptional governance of Alaska
  • she speaks to God just like The Greatest President Ever
  • she loves The Baby Jesus
  • she can see Alaska from her house
  • she can see wolves from her helicopter
  • she enjoys a good hacking [1]
  • she's an experienced peace keeper [2]
  • she has a pro-baby-growth economic plan [3]
  • she brings experience in saving taxpayer dollars on rape kits [4] [5]
Sarah Palin telling Hillary to “grow a pair” and stop whining about “unfair” media…


Baby Jesus.jpg
Sarah Palin
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
Sarah Palin is a reknowned Tea Bagger
and won't stop tea bagging
until all Americans are Tea Bagging together!


America. Fuck Yeah!

  • She was voted the sexiest, hottest mother and governor in America by Diebold voting machines.
  • Ted Stevens endorsed her for Governor in 2006.
  • Hobbies include:
    • killing bears
    • killing wolves
    • feeding old people
    • feeding microwaved bears and wolves to old people
    • firing people who don't fire the men who divorce her sister
    • fishing for barracuda by shooting them from a helicopterEpisode #450
    • Hunting for Whales
  • She's a member of the NRA and likes to hunt and fish.
  • Gives off a naughty librarian vibe.
  • Hates books.
  • Supports maximum tube usage.
  • Is under investigation for abuse of power.
  • not one to waste time doing God's work, Mrs. Todd Palin was able to miraculously reduce seven months of the miracle of birth overnight![6]
    • she also humbly waited six weeks before announcing the blessed birth!
  • Even Mooslims want to bang her. [7]
  • is able to delegate legal authority like nobody's business!
  • Sarah is helping Wikiality to create New Truthiwords!
  • Sarah Palin is now America's Shakespeare
  • Sarah Palin was the bestest of governors during her tenure, it says so in the new book!
  • A horrifying book written by a un-american traitor mentions the horrifying truth about Sarah Palin and her monstrous character making her evil enough to take Satan's place piles of lies and more lies!
To Be or Not to Be... That is the Gotcha Question

Little known fact, Sarah Palin also likes to hunt those evil wolves in this sexy outfit! Admit it, you want "to hunt" with her too...

Magazines Mrs. Todd Palin Reads Everyday

"Sarah Palin"
is one of's game-like activities
Questions on how to play | Newest stuff | All games

Mrs. Todd Palin enjoys reading while at her office!

During another "gotcha media interview" Mrs. Todd Palin revealed to Katie Couric that she reads many magazines, but did not disclose which ones they were out of concern for national security. asks the internets heroes to fill in the blanks and provide the periodicals Mrs. Todd Palin has read below.

  • Aryan Nation Times
  • Creation Scientific American
  • Secessionist Journal
  • John Birch Society's The New American
  • Uninformed Moose Huntin' PTA Aficionado Weekly
  • Shotgun Bride
  • Baby Mama
  • Thomas Bowdler's Literary Review

Foreign Leaders Who Have Her Private Phone Number

Turkey Pardon

The Greatest Maveratrix Ever pardons a turkey as Alaskan governors have done since 2008!

"...Oh, well this was, this was me! To, it--I was uh, happy to be get to be invited to participate in this and, and uh, you know it, it for one, you need a bit of little levity in this job. Especially with uh, uh, so much that has gone on in the last couple of months that has been so um, political obviously that it's nice to get out and and and do, so something to promote a local business and, and to uh, just participate in something that isn't so uh, heavy-handed politics, that uh, invites criticism. Certainly we'll invite criticism for even doing this, too, but at least this was fun!"

Sarah Palin's New Book: The woman, her life, and how her Presidency was stolen

Sarah Palin’s new book will be a joint collabortion with Rush Limbaugh’s ideas for the 2016 election… looks like Sarah found a new Political consultant… maybe her new VP?…

The Greatest Maveratrix Ever will be soon releasing a new book and a tv series about her life, her struggles as a kick ass Maverick, and her great legacy on Alaska America and how it tragically came to an end before its time... as long as Hollywood and the liberal media doesn't screw it again... No way will this hurt her chances for her 2012 2016 election...

Sarah Palin's Plan for The Queendom of Alaska

Sarah Palin has expressed plans to turn Alaska into her own monarchy and crown herself Queen of Alaska

Sarah Palin has an awesome plan to "liberate" Alaska from the Mooslim government! But details are few since it is a secret to keep the liberal media out... shhhh... dont tell anyone!

Sarah Palin's Resigns Governorship of Alaska as of 2009

to pursue a more ambitious career to spend more time with her family to cash in on some book deals. Some say she has resigned in order to better prepare for a run for the presidency. Because if you can't handle Letterman, you're just the person we need to take on Putin.

Just like her personal Hero, Sarah Palin gave an awesome speech before sh#t started to happen

Palin_Resigns_-_with_English_Translation Hitler_Finds_Out_Sarah_Palin_Resigns
Palin’s awesome speech! Hitler's reaction

A Fond Look Back On Her Words Of Wisdom

The Future for Mrs. Todd Palin

OK, initial here and this Down Syndrome baby is yours... Hey! What are you doing with that camera? Turn that off!

For those who don’t seem to understand Sarah’s plan for 2012, here is a diagram for you (click to enlarge)

Sarah Palin Joins Bearwatch!!

Sarah Supports Enhanced Interrogation of Elitists!

Sarah Palin's Merchandise On Sale NOW!!!


Get them while they are hawt!

Sarah's Hit List Freedom Haters List

Taking America back, one bullet at a time.

(Full list)

For her achievements in protecting America, Sarah Palin will receive "Honorary Killer Protector of America", you go girl!


See Also

Aw, Shucks

News Tubes

" Ted, that overcoat looks like shit. It's a wardrobe to nowhere. Put a cigar in your mouth and call ya Columbo. I have some contacts at GOP Head Office. They can set ya up, don't cha know."

The Real Media Loves Her!!
The smartest conversation he ever had with a mama bear
The Wonders of Alaska

Dead bear.jpg
Sarah Palin
is a member of the Bear Hunters of America.
Be Scared, Bears.
Fox Nation2.gif
'Allo Guv'nor!
Sarah Palin
is the governor of Alaska
I am Sarah Palin and and my lawyer swears I'm not a