The Baby Satan has a special place in hell for
and YOU just for visiting this internets tube!
Not quite girlie, not quite man,
is all Girlieman.
WARNING: By choosing to visit
you have contracted Teh Ghey!

Report to the closest authorized de-gayification church near you to begin ungayification immediately.
est trop Français
veuillez l'éditer pour le rendre plus vrai dans les tripes

A fresh heiny for me to poke!

Satan is the ruler of Hell. He is a flaming homosexual. He is also the ex-roommate of Saddam Hussein. People have claimed their relationship was gay, but obviously a man like Saddam with such a manly, manly, manly man man mustache, cannot be all gay. Saddam was very well hung, however.

The Early Years

Back when God made America as well as apple pie, 5,000 years ago, he also made his angels, through a three-way with Richard Dawkins and Adolf Hitler. Satan was one of them. Satan became the first liberal after smoking marijuana. He then tried to fight God and kill Baby Jesus. The documentary "Reefer Madness" was loosely based on this incident.

Satan's Stance on Drugs

The Satan Song

Satan then went on to harder drugs as well as tainted meats which lead to his inevitable meeting with Keith Richards (it may have initially been the hunger) and their subsequent collaboration on a Rolling Stones song. Pleased to meet you, hope you'd guess my name. He then went on to take human form and is currently attempting to undermine the United States of America in the guise of Noam Chomsky.

Who Satan Is/Is Not

Satan is a man of wealth and taste. He was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain, and made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands to seal his fate. He stuck around St. Petersburg when he saw it was a time for a change, and therefore killed the Czar and his ministers while Anastasia screamed in vain. He rode a tank, and held a general's rank when the blitzkrieg raged and the fighters stank. Satan also watched with glee while the kings and queens fought for ten decades for the gods they made. He shouted out "Who killed the Kennedys?" When after all it was you and me. He laid traps for troubadours, who get killed before they reached Bombay. He thinks that every cop is a criminal and all the sinners' saints, and just as heads is tails you can call him Lucifer cause he is in need of some restraint. If you are to meet him show him some sympathy, some courtesy and some taste, use your well learned politesse or he'll lay your soul to waste. I hope you guess his name, but what is troubling you is the nature of his game.

The Devil’s many forms to tempt men to sell their immortal and moral soul to hell… so, do I sign this contract with blood or something?…

Satan's Many Names

The Devil will take many attractive forms to entice us to do his evil work… including this sexah form…!

  • 666 : Marking / Name / Number of the Beast (thought to not be referring to the Devil by many); some manuscripts read 616
  • Adversary
  • Angat: Madagascan devil
  • Angra Mainyu, Ahriman: "malign spirit", "unholy spirit"
  • Antichrist: adversary of the son of God Christ
  • Apep
  • Apostate Supreme
  • Arawn: Welsh god of the Underworld
  • Azazel, Asael (Hebrew): King of Devils
  • Baal: originally a Cannanite god
  • Baphomet: supposedly worshipped by the Knights Templar
  • Beelzebub, Beelsebul (Hebrew): Master of the flies or Lord of the Flies
  • Behemoth
  • Belial, Beliar, Bheliar (Hebrew): without master, despicableness of the earth
  • The Prophet Bentaz
  • Björk
  • Blasphemer
  • Chernobog
  • Crimson King
  • Charlene's Cold, Cold Heart
  • Chutriel (Hebrew): Punisher of Hell
  • Dagon: originally a Philistine sea god
  • Dark Angel
  • Demogorgon
  • Diabolus, Diavolus (Greek): "downward flowing", also used as adverb diabolic
  • Dispater
  • Duncan
  • Father of Lies and Deceit
  • Fire
  • Goodger (Devon)
  • Great Red Dragon
  • Hades
  • Horned God: syncretic term of male nature gods, later converted to the devil
  • Iblis: Islamic name of the devil
  • Ishtar: Babylonian goddess of the fertility
  • Der Leibhaftige (German): "He Himself"
  • John Kerry
  • Jean Chretian
  • Leviathan (Hebrew): the queue from the depths
  • Lilith (Hebrew): female devil or the devil's female aspect
  • Loki: Norse god of mischief
  • Lotan
  • Lord of the Underworld / Lord of Hell
  • Lord of This World
  • Lucifer (Greek and Roman): bringer of light, illuminator; often believed to be Satan's name before he fell
  • Malek Taus
  • Mammon: Aramaic God of prosperity and profit
  • Mara
  • Makuta
  • Melkor/Morgoth
  • Mephistopheles, Mephisto (Greek): that, which avoids the light
  • the Morning star
  • Miranda Priestly
  • Mortus
  • Moore, Michael: The bottomless pit
  • Mot
  • Nergal
  • Noam Chomsky [1]
  • Obama, Barack Hussein
  • Old Scratch: a colloquialism for the devil, as indicated by the name of the character in the Stephen Vincent Benét short story, "The Devil and Daniel Webster"
  • O Yama: Japanese name for Satan
  • Orcus
  • Pan: Greek God of the desire, later converted to the devil
  • Pazuzu
  • Pelosi, Nancy[1]
  • Plutus
  • Prince of Darkness
  • Prince of the powers of the Air
  • Pwcca: Celtic name for Satan
  • Ragnara
  • Rahu
  • Satan, Schaitan (Hebrew): adversary, prosecutor
  • Samael, Samiel, Sammael (Hebrew): “Poison of God”
  • Samnu: centralasiatic devil
  • Sauron
  • Sebul
  • Sedit: Native American devil
  • Serpent - not to be confused with a snake on a plane
  • Set (mythology)|Set]]: Egyptian devil
  • Shaitan: Arab name for Satan, this term is also used in Islamic verses
  • Sokar
  • Supay: Inka God of the underworld
  • Surtr
  • T´An Mo: Chinese counterpart to the devil, demand
  • Tchort: Russian name for Satan, “black God”
  • Tempter
  • Typhon
  • Toño
  • Urian
  • Voland (medieval France)
  • Yaldabaoth: who the Gnostics considered the creator of the world.

note: as many have the bumble boredness to think Him to be a fable the riddle of evil devil lived and live is to serve as a reminder for what awaits those who forget

The Many Faces of Satan

Satan's Handmaidens

Recently the Church of Satan has been using their beautiful female worshipers to increase their membership…

See also

That's more than sensbile! That's a great post! That's more than sensbile! That's a great post!


  1. 1.0 1.1 We're glad you noticed.
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Satan to the authorities.