Scott McClellan
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America
Scott McClellan
is a Traitor
And will soon feel the wrath of a vengeful Baby Jesus.
Scott McClellan
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process

Scott McClellan

Oh Jeff! You've always known the right things to say! See you at 8:00, I'll pick up the baby oil!

Scott McClellan was the man keeping the Press Secretary position warm for Tony Snow. Scott succeeded Ari Fleischer for the position before turning things over to Snowjob. Many considered McClellan to have been very competent during his time as Press Secretary, what with having to deal with such traitorous malcontents as Helen Thomas and David Gregory.

Speaking Truth To America!Edit

Jeff Gannon

Hey Scott, I think you were the best Press Secretary Ever! Wanna' oil up for some wrestling?

Scott was not alone in his crusade to disseminate the truth of the Greatest Administration the world will ever know. American hero Jeff Gannon, one of the few journalists who wasn't actively trying to destroy the President, always came to Scott's aid to help steer questions away from facts and all other issues that might waste the President's time by forcing him to pronounce words of several syllables.

Handling The Nosy, Terrorist-Helping PressEdit

Scott's main tactic to shutdown really hard questions from the Press Corp was to not even give them the satisfaction of an answer. Why should he? If the Press Corp wants answers, then they should ask the right questions, not the kind that gives aid to the terrorists.

Being In The Same Room As Dr. ColbertEdit

Scott was one of the few blessed individuals to have attended the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. At the dinner, Scott met his hero Stephen Colbert. After their meeting, Scott fell into a depression spiral because he realized anything else in his life would pale in comparison to the few moments of gorgeousness and gorgeousity afforded to him by basking in Stephen's presence. It was at this point that Scott decided to resign as he was unable to even function as a productive member of society.

Scottie's Life NowEdit

It's unknown what Scott has been up to since he's left the White House, but many suspect he is sitting at home playing Russian roulette with himself, hoping against hope that the sound he hears won't be the click of the hammer falling on an empty chamber.

2008 updateEdit

That little bastard now has the nerve to disagree with the greatest President ever!

Not only that but he has decided not to take secrets to his grave with him!

Scottie's BookEdit

What Happened


from: PublicAffairs:

"The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White House briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby."
"There was one problem. It was not true."
"I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the Vice President, the President's chief of staff, and the President himself."

August 26, 2008 NailingEdit


  • former White House press secretary; Stephen doesn't want to worry him, but Helen Thomas is in the front row!
  • they did speak about Stephen after his speech at the correspondent's dinner
  • he was in the web, but left
  • he is easily misled
  • during the day politicians may be human beings
  • is coy about who he supports
    • waiting to see who is most likely to change how Washington works
  • neither Scott or Stephen has talked to The Greatest President Ever since the book came out, so Stephen decided it would be a good idea to call

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