U Aint Here.jpg
Seattle, Washington
is not a Recognized City of the United States of America!
It is a city of Commies that has infiltrated Our Great Nation.

Seattle does not exist. There is no Seattle. And that big tower is in Canada

Common Local Name:
Translation into American:
Mayor: Karl Marx
Motto: Depressed? Grab a Starbucks!
Population: 3,539,000
Official Flower:
Official Language: Liberaleese
Official Bird:
Official Anthem: Tossed Salads & Scrambled Eggs
Standard KPH:
Principal industries:
Fun Fact # 1:
Fun Fact # 2:
Fun Fact # 3:

Founding & History

Seattle Today




DramaticQuestionMark.png Did you know...

Seattle is sometimes referred to as 'The Soviet of Seattle'

Popular Ethnic Neighborhoods

Chinatown south of the ball fields, Mercer Island a.k.a. Island of the rich Jews, South Seattle = poor usually, Ballard = middle class normal people, Belltown = stuck up white people who have million-dollar condos with views of the ocean and downtown.


The 600 ft. tall space needle with the over-priced spinning restaurant, Columbia Seafirst Center (the only skyscraper on westcoast),the popularly overrated Pike Place Market, the Woodland Park Zoo (first of its kind) where you can only visually see half of the animals on display, Experience Music Project in Seattle Center which is designed with inspiration from one of Jimi Hendrix's acid trips, Pioneer Square with its buildings that will collapse anyday now, Seahawk Stadium which is actually very expensive for how much the seahawks suck, Safeco Field same as before, Bill Gate's enormous 72,000 sq. ft. mansion nextdoor in Medina, Washington that nobody can even see because half is underground....... does he think that his house is a target?

What's With All The Hippies?

Famous People From Seattle

  • Bill Gates
  • Jimi Hendrix
  • Nirvana
  • the Nordstrom family
  • Anna Farris (from scary movie, the House Bunny)
  • Quincy Jones
  • the smelliest hippie ever

Famous Protests That Took Place In Seattle

A Typical Day In Seattle

Strange Laws in Seattle

It is illegal to drive a Mercedes or BMW that is more than three years old, It is totally illegal to go to starbucks only once a day,It is illegal to buy a house that costs less than $500,000 within city limits, It is illegal to pretend to be homeless in tourist areas, It is illegal to be straight and also sober while on Capitol Hill.

See Also

External Tubes


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