Spongebob Squarepants

Despite what you may have heard
Spongebob Squarepants
Is totally not gay!

Spongebob Squarepants, the American Icon.

Spongebob Squarepants has a show on Nickelodeon, and lives in his pineapple of truthiness, which is located in Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean. He also cooks fast food (preferably Krabby Patties, but at times he will also cook Freedom Fries), which is what real Americans eat. He is also a Real American.


Originally a sketch on Stephen Colbert's personal drawing board, he was stolen from him by terrorists attempting to target prominent members of the news media. The terrorists successfully sold it to Nickelodeon for the sum of five dollars, believing it to be worthless. Nickelodeon, however, through their underground system of drug dealers and expert marketing agents, was able to make it a hit TV show for children ages 9 to 14 (and some middle-aged freeloaders as well), complete with several full seasons released on VHS and DVD, toys, and a full feauture-length movie.

The ShowEdit

Most famous for his debut on the TV show after his own name, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob has become a huge TV success. He could not have done it, however, without the support of his fellow cartoon castmates. A terrorist tried to change the name to "Spongeboy bombpants" but Stephen Colbert killed the terrorist before he switched the original sketches. Also there was the idea of having Spongebob as a lesbian, but the idea was later changed back.

The CastEdit


BP tried to get Sponge Bob to endorse their "Oilcean" product but so far he hasnt returned their calls. What a prick!

Aside from Spongebob himself, Spongebob Squarepants has quite a large cast, including such talented voices as Stephen Colbert, Stephen Colbert, Tom Kenny, and of course, Stephen Colbert.

But mostly, Stephen Colbert.


Spongebob and Friends.

  • Spongebob Squarepants - the main character. An icon to all middle-aged stoners who lie on their couches all day. "Whoa... a talking sponge..." (Voiced by Stephen Colbert)
  • Patrick Star - Spongebob's best friend. A not-so-brilliant starfish who enjoys walking around all day half-naked. (Voiced by Stephen Colbert)
  • Squidward Tentacles - Spongebob's cranky next door neighbor. Believed to be affiliated with the Russian mafia. (Voiced by Al Sharpton)
  • Sandy Cheeks - Spongebob's karate-fighting friend. She lives in a giant air-dome on the ocean floor. It's believed that she stole the impressive technology from aliens. That or sold her soul to the devil. (Voiced by William Shatner)

Future plansEdit

Currently, Spongebob can be seen hanging around Bikin Bottom or occasionally playing poker with Stephen Colbert and Jesus. When asked of his future plans, he shook his head, and bit Jesus in the ear. But Stephen healed him with his magical ear-healing powers.

And it was all good.

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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