Stephen Jr.
is a proud member
of Stephen Colbert's family!
Baby Jesus.jpg
Stephen Jr.
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Stephen Jr., Finally Born!!!

The one and only steagle born in the San Francisco Zoo named after Colbert. Stephen Jr. was hatched to be reintroduced into the wild as a part of the zoo's California Bald Eagle Breeding Program. Colbert celebrated Junior's birth on-air on April 17, 2006, and updates on the bird's development have been featured on the show since.

Stephen Jr.'s Canadian Journey

Stephen Jr. left on his Canadian journey on June 08, 2006. He crossed into Canadian airspace on August 10, bringing with him a multitude of bears. If they know what's good for them, the bears will stay in pine fresh Canada. Stephen Jr. has remained in Canada for the time being, feasting on fresh Canadian salmon, looking for Vietnam War draft dodgers, and stopping terrorist pigeons from attempting to cross our northern border. Stephen is reeling from Stephen Jr's defection to Canada: Why couldn't he have just been gay?

Stephen Jr. clearly resembles his Daddy.

As of November 14th, 2006, Stephen Jr. appeared to be flying back to the United States thanks to the heroes waving salmon on our Northern border. But they need to wave the salmon (or trout) harder: After being lost because of an uncharged tree-hugging solar-powered tracking device, in an early December 2006 Christmas Miracle, Stephen Jr. was found hanging around a Vancouver garbage dump, jonesing on Gogurt wrappers. He was also spotted harassing local pelicans.

As of the February 5, 2007 broadcast of The Colbert Report and thanks to the tireless efforts of salmon-waving heroes from Bellingham, Washington, Stephen Jr. has returned to the United States. Unfortunately, he alighted in Washington's 3rd District, The Fightin' 3rd, home of meth addict and Congressman Brian Baird. It's now up to heroes from St. Helens, Oregon to wave salmon to entice Stephen Jr. further south, toward safety. and away from those dam homosexuals in montana.

A Pictorial Journey With Stephen Jr.


Numero forty-six.

  • He could take your arm off.
  • Also known as Eagle A-46
  • Hates pelicans, just like his Dad
  • Likes to drop deer heads to cause power outages
  • Has his own ice cream flavor: Stephen Jr.'s AmeriFlown Dream
  • Has pooped on Goliath mid-flight.
  • Eats 500 pounds of fish a day.
  • Has a 100ft wing span.
  • Has a 39.3lb penis
  • Likes to party.
  • He beat Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco in a footrace, while wearing 20 pound leg weights. Ochocinco was given a 10 second head start and steroids.
  • Smells like victory
  • Has 3 testicles
  • Enjoys sun bathing in Mexico.
  • Kicks sand on Mexican babies.

See Also

External Tubes

Track Stephen Jr. Go to Interactive : Track an Eagle : Bald Eagle



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