Stephen Settles The Debate
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


Stephen Settles The Debate is a segment of The Colbert Report in which Stephen settles various debates.


  • Which holiday: Ramadan or Halloween?
    • Winner: Halloween (but Stephen wants to emphasize just how much he respects Islam)
  • Faith or Science?
    • Faith - (It was a tie until the coin toss decided it for Science, but God interceded and made the coin flip to tails.)

Which Was The Best Roosevelt: Teddy Or Franklin?Edit

September 25, 2008


Measured using four criteria:

  • Fancy-boy pictures
    • Teddy deliciously foppish
    • Franklin greatest cross-dressing toddler president
  • Toughness
    • Franklin
    • Teddy led the rough riders
  • Communications
    • Franklin fireside chats
    • Teddy called a nation to greatness in 1900
  • Historical Crimes
    • Franklin imprisoned Japanese
    • Teddy refused to shoot a bear
  • Stephen's favorite Roosevelt
    • Roosevelt Franklin
      • a Roosevelt for our time, he represents red states and blue states, because he is purple
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