Historians of the future will remember 2009 as the year with a number on each side and a Cornhole right in the middle.

The Center for Advanced Cornhole Studies in Atlanta, Georgia, not to be confused with The Robert Cornhole Bible College of Killbuck, Ohio, was formed in March of 2009 by the blessed and worshipful Stephen Colbert. Formerly a loose band of gutteral thinkers, but all of them Americans initiated into the truth enterprise of cornholism, the Center has become a collective gut to guide America to greatness and await the coming of the genuine cornholer that He might steer America into cornholistry. The founding members of the Center are Jesus, Joseph Smith and Robert Cornhole. Honorary members include Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Pat Robertson, Mitt Romney and Rush Limbaugh, though Hannity appears to have questioned Limbaugh's allegiance to cornholism(see "cornhole controversy", cornholism).


Cornhole machine atlanta

Insider photograph of the Magnetic Cornhole-Resonance Imaging machine from The Center.

Gay liberal academics have questioned The Center for Advanced Cornhole Studies' commitment to academic integrity, historical accuracy and fair and balanced journalism. But Sean Hannity refuted the accusers with his book "Cornholed: The Gay Liberal Academic Agenda for America." "The only controversy," Hannity argued. "Is that gay liberal academics are allowed to slander Americans."

Why Atlanta, Georgia?Edit


Every cornholist gets to play with the Cornhole reactor.

The Center for Advanced Cornhole Studies chose Atlanta to honor America's primary founder, Robert Cornhole. Gender Studies professors, to say nothing of other gay people who don't know an honest day's work, theorized that Robert Cornhole retreated from Washington to Atlanta during the Adams presidency to engage in flamboyant homosexuality. Sean Hannity was instrumental in refuting this claim in his book "Cornholed." Said Hannity: "During the so called missing years of Cornhole he was on the frontiers bringing Indians to Christ and challenging heathen chiefs to duels." Hannity recounts that, in a vision, Robert Cornhole told him to erect the Center in Atlanta so that gays and un-Americans would see that "Cornhole was never in Atlanta but always in Atlanta and always a cornholist but never gay." Cornhole then reassured Hannity of his heterosexuality. "Sean," Hannity recounts Cornhole's words. "Founding fathers are never gay. Not even for pay."

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