Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
February 2, 2009
Production code:
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  • Iceland of the Lost
"The government collapses in Iceland! Or, as it will soon be known--thanks to global warming--Landland!"
  • Blood on the Tracks
"Then, are our railroads safe!? Or, should we be spending more on anti-hobo technology!?"
  • Dan in Real Strife
"And, my guest Dan Zaccagnino created a website that lets anyone collaborate to make dance music! Kinda like wiki-wiki-wikipedia!"

Flag quote open clear2
It's Groundhog Day! Gentleman, start your groundhogs!
This is
The Colbert Report!
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
February 2, 2009 The Colbert Report


  • Dr. Colbert got a haircut
  • Dr. Colbert cannot tell anyone what the ovation means to him
  • the world is changing and he feels like a dinosaur
    • brontosaur
    • triceritops
    • perhaps something that will get His Mob riled up (T Rex?)
  • Diane Feinstein doesn't know congressmen aren't paid in saltines
  • it is sexist because women benefit from it more
  • employers may not hire more women
    • the only solution
  • Dr. Colbert cannot discriminate legally
    • he will have to do it under the table, where he does his harassing anyway
      • it will get crowded
  • Dr. Colbert's pay Scale
    • weight scale
  • Dr. Colbert will stop discriminating against Jay due to his fatness
    • deducting because his ass has its own zip code
  • not a lady
  • not black
  • not blind
  • is an intern

It Could Be WorseEdit

  • Dr. Colbert is worried because Anderson Cooper says things are bad
  • It Could Be Worse
  • Iceland
    • if you're looking for a good time, get on the first plane to Norway
    • Skyr is the traditional Icelandic soft cheese similar to yogurt, their major export
  • in October Iceland declared bankruptcy
    • zany hats on currency add confidence
  • officials mistook the protesting for Bjork's latest song
  • Iceland selects the world's first openly lesbian Prime Minister, Johanna Sigurdardottir
  • Stephen Harper is an open lesbian
  • Iceland is broke and gay
    • and they have skyr

Nailed 'EmEdit

  • airport security is important
    • so is rail security
  • Amtrak has protected passengers from their destinations
  • weed out sleepers from society
  • the heroes: Amtrak Police!
  • photography contest is Amtrak's cleverest ruse since their timetables


  • co-founder of indabamusic
    • not an English word
    • actually a Zulu word: collaborate
  • they have avatars and the people are actually instruments
  • not replacing anything
    • creating new opportunities that doesn't already exists
  • his first collaboration was with a Nigerian prince, who sings
  • 125,000 musicians in over 170 countries
  • the largest group may have been the one they did for The Report
  • Dr. Colbert was clear that The Heroes not to mix his words for playing in a club
    • make you grind
  • Dr. Colbert wants to stop it
  • girlfriends can still break up the band
    • Yoko would have been a robot


  • Dr. Colbert sings so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night!
    • it sounds better when


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