Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
Date: July 31, 2007 Season:
Episode: 291 Production code: 3098
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  • To Russia, With Love
"Russia lays claim to the North Pole and several dissenting sea lions have been mysteriously poisoned"
  • A.G., Your Hair Smells Perjurious
"Plus, democrats accuse Alberto Gonzales of perjury maybe he'll be sentenced to a round of golf with Scooter Libby"
  • Beat Townsend
"Plus my guest Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is here to talk about what happens when you mix politics and religion. I'm no scholar, but I'll guess is: poligen? "

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''Mi casa es su casa means 'anger', right? This is The Colbert Report.
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~ Stephen Colbert
July 31, 2007 The Colbert Report

World EventsEdit

  • Dr. Colbert's mind-boggling pain from his wrist injury
    • vicodin tastes like Smarties
  • Epidemic of Wrist Violence
    • no discrimination
    • foot wrist (ankle)
  • Hollywood's Glamorization of Wrist Violence
    • not entertainment
    • write congress to tell them to stop Hollywood's insidious wrist-hating

Real EstateEdit

  • swamp land
  • bridges
  • indian burial grounds
  • Artict circle
    • fish
    • diamonds
    • oil and natural gas
    • shipping lines
  • "Arc Who Goes There"
  • "Smoking Poles"
  • deploy undersea army of hermit crabs
  • keep control of Christmas with US

Alberto GonzalesEdit

  • Leahy and Schumer
    • FOX invited White House

The WørdEdit

Breaking News From ChicagoEdit

(The mob has sympathy wrist bandages)

WSJ has been sold to Rupert

GOOD NEWS for the economy WSJ will only report good news for the economy

Sports ReportEdit

Happy Birthday Barry Bonds!

performance enhancement should not be criticized

Victory in Iraq

  • indisputable victory
    • Asia Cup victor over Saudi Arabia (3 time champ)
  • dog racing
    • Stephen Colbert, the racing greyhound



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