Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
March 4, 2008
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  • The Old Man & The Seige
"John McCain yells at Barack Obama! To be fair, Obama was on McCain's lawn!"
  • Paint Misbehavin'
"And I take on American Graffiti, after that: THX1138!"
  • Hot & Sour Stephen
"Plus, my guest is Jennifer 8. Lee, author of a book on the history of Chinese food. This interview will have plenty of MSG: Me, shouting at guest!"

Flag quote open clear2
I'm no fan of March Madness, but it sure beats February Syphilis..
This is
The Colbert Report.
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~ Stephen Colbert
March 4, 2008 The Colbert Report

Texas & Ohio PrimariesEdit

  • Pledge allegiance to you (the mob)
  • No ads for Poland Springs
  • Dr. Colbert touches the screen when his newsman does
    • it's like when
  • Dr. Colbert hates John McCain
    • another endorsement by John Hagee
      • who has called The Catholic Church names
  • Dr. Colbert has asked William Donohue to come on and give him hell

McCain v ObamaEdit

  • If if's and buts were candy and nuts, we'd already be bombing Iran!
  • Angelina is preggers again
  • who invaded Iraq is past history, Dr. Colbert doesn't even remember who did
    • if Obama keeps bringing it up, he who smelt it, dealt it!

Poll ReturnsEdit

  • Dr. Colbert gave up mirrors for Lent
  • Dr. Colbert refuses to look at the poll returns until he can watch them in his tub

Fighting The Crime Of GraffitiEdit

  • wearing an orange jumpsuit means you are guilty of a fashion crime
  • Nailed 'Em


  • Jennifer 8. Lee
    • author of "The Fortune Cookie Chronicles"
    • speaks fluent Mandarin and so does Dr. Colbert


  • Good night everyone
    • To his good friend Howard Dean: good bye!


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