Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
April 22, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

Dr. Colbert discusses The Bump with His Jew Friend. And how he should have a tattoo on his chest that says Bump may be harder than expected, with an arrow pointing down.

Plus at some point he said "nipples" to the delight of His Jew Friend.


  • Copy Crats
"Hillary Clinton accuses Barack Obama of copying her ideas! That must be why he wears all those yellow pantsuits!"
  • Penn Loafer
"Then, I profile Pennsylvania's seventh district! You can take my show our of Pennsylvania, but you can't take the cheesesteak out of my colon!"
  • Susie Q'ed
"And, my guest, Susan Jacoby says Americans are anti-intellectual! Well, I say to that, "Lalalalala, I'm not listening!" (covers ears)"

Flag quote open clear2
You say tomato, I say...
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
April 22, 2008 The Colbert Report

Earth DayEdit

  • bulging at the equator
    • come together
    • say suck it other planets, earth is Number one!
  • paid a Brazilian firm to have the words "Earth Is Awesome" seen from space
    • the only way possible is to use burning tires
  • interplanetary trashtalk
    • Hey Jupiter, nice red spot, you gonna pop that thing before prom?
    • Hey Saturn,nice rings, here's one for you: ring ring, Saturn sucks
    • Pure hydrogen
    • Pluto has a lower gravitation field than Dr. Colbert's left nut

ABC's Democrat DebateEdit

  • Stephen wishes it was moderated by Tucker Carlson and his amazing cats
    • candidates talking about The Colbert Report
    • Clinton aid said Obama is a copycat
    • Obama has been following Hillary all his life

The Colbert Report's Stephen Colbert ReportsEdit

  • voters in Pennsylvania had their primary
  • Philadelphia Cheesesteak Wars

Better Know A DistrictEdit

Dr. Colbert comes back from the break assembling furniture of Ikea furniture


  • Susan Jacoby
    • who says Americans are anti-intellectuals, Stephen will ask her what that means
  • book The Age of American Unreason


You may know what's coming, but it's not gonna make it any easier: good night.


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