Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode
May 14, 2008
Production code:
Next Episode

The Check-InEdit

Dr. Colbert found out that alligators love marshmallows! Even when they're all wet and soggy!

Maybe people and alligators aren't so different after all!

Dr. Colbert ordered the alligators to attack His Jew Friend for a reward of a bag of marshmallows!

Crocodiles love Skittles!


  • Lone Wolf McCain
"John McCain strongly differs with Bush on the environment! He's willing to acknowledge it exists!"
  • Chad Boy Entertainment
"Then, there's a new movie about the 2000 Florida recount! I love a story with a feel-good ending!"
  • Grover Rated
"And my guest, Grover Norquist, wants to make the government so small he could drown it in his bathtub! I'd like to stab it in my shower!"

Flag quote open clear2
Give a man a fish; he'll eat for a day! Give him a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy!
This is
The Colbert Report.
Flag quote close clear2
~ Stephen Colbert
May 14, 2008 The Colbert Report


  • Stephen was honored with his Peabody in April
    • hasn't won one since
  • nothing from the phylum of Anthropoda (sp)
    • get on the stick name something after him
      • don't make it a stick
  • giant ant
  • laser lion
  • University of Massachusetts
    • withdraw honorary degree to Robert Mugabe
      • but not Stephen
  • Stephen was totalitarian ruler of Malawi
  • Stephen will accept Mugabe's

Pollution NewsEdit

  • Paul McCartney was horrified that his special car was flown to him and not shipped on a boat
  • Tonight's Word: Declaration Of Warming

Advanced ScreeningEdit

  • HBO dramatization of the Bush-Gore, "Recount"
    • democratic disaster movie
    • their version of titanic, where the Supreme Court makes the iceberg president


  • Grover Norquist
    • noted conservative
    • Stephen asks when will the government stop picking on White Males!


  • Stephen's new stage manager is telling him it's the end of the show.
    • CORRECTION: only done for tonight!
    • See you tomorrow!


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